Date: 04/05/08 11:29 am Title: Chapter 8
: )
I LOVE IT !
Totally one of my top favorites,
Everytime I come on this site,
I check to see if this story is updateded..
it's like a drug to me,
I keep wanting more ..
keep it up
and update soon pleasee : )
Author's Response: Wow, thank you :)
Date: 04/05/08 09:56 am Title: Chapter 8
wooooooaaah!!! O_O =P
update soooooon!!
xoxoxox
Author's Response: I will.
Date: 04/05/08 08:40 am Title: Chapter 8
YES!
That was sexy. I love you
Author's Response: Thank you :)
Date: 04/05/08 06:02 am Title: Chapter 8
wow fingering a student in a closet LOL~i love it
Author's Response: A good way of teaching, eh?
Date: 04/05/08 05:58 am Title: Chapter 8
love it, love it, love it
Author's Response: Thank you! :D
Date: 04/05/08 05:25 am Title: Chapter 8
Fucking shit. *grins* You're driving me crazy over here. xD I soo love this story. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: xD Thanks!
Date: 04/05/08 02:07 am Title: Chapter 8
Ooh. Kissing/fingering in the closet. Haha.
Loved this chappie NeppiPeppi
More!
Author's Response: Hehe, thank you :)
Date: 04/05/08 02:06 am Title: Chapter 8
oh my dear sweet lord
*kneels down and praises neppy bear*
x33
Author's Response: xD <3
Date: 04/05/08 01:39 am Title: Chapter 8
MEOWWWWWWWWW!!! That was really good and hot!! I was missing this story thanks for updating...god Bill is wicked in every way
Author's Response: Thanks :)
Date: 04/04/08 11:19 pm Title: Chapter 8
While this story isn't the best and it's strange, I'm giving you five stars because of the really, very hot, spanking in this chapter. So yeah...some more of that, please.
Author's Response: høhø
Date: 04/04/08 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 8
*squeals*
Excellent!!!
Amazing!!!
Hot!!!
Gorgeous!!!
Awesome!!!
Did I say FUCKING HOT??!!
Girl...I LOVE YOU!!!
Author's Response: Hahaha! Oh, that is good news indeed. Thank you :P
Date: 04/04/08 09:24 pm Title: Chapter 8
Oh. Oh wow. O.O
I am speechless.
Take that as a huge compliment :D
Oh god.
Nrmjfdjkrjkf.
Author's Response: Hahaha! I will :P Thanks.
Date: 04/04/08 09:14 pm Title: Chapter 8
I love this whole illegal teacher-student thing so much.
naughty bill!
can't wait for more!
♥
Author's Response: Thanks :)
Date: 04/04/08 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 8
it feels like i'm in fire. i'm fucking burnung it was too hot. can't wait for their wild, dirty seeeeeeeeeeeeeeex
Author's Response: Haha, maybe it'll come, yes? :P
Date: 04/04/08 08:25 pm Title: Chapter 8
I can't even... I love this fic so much. It's my favourite at the moment. You can't imagine how many times I sit and refresh, waiting to see it get updated. Lovely chapter. Kinky ;)
Author's Response: Haha! Thanks xD
Date: 04/04/08 08:14 pm Title: Chapter 1
First of all, I see that this story title was already taken when you first published the story. Using a title that is already used on this site shows a lack of creativity and very poor taste. I strongly suggest you think of a new title.
Secondly, something is very off with your flow. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is causing it, but many of you sentence feel awkward, bulky, and heavy. On a similar note, your dialogue feels stiff and unnatural.
Thirdly, I feel that you are portraying Bill far too feminine. Fanfiction writers are often guilty of falling into the trap of writing male characters with female traits. Having Bill giggle in class seems extremely wrong. Any teenage boy who giggles in class is going to get mocked mercilessly. Teenage boys laugh or chuckle. They very rarely giggle in the presence of other. Perhaps I could believe him giggling in privacy with a lover, but not in the classroom.
Finally, I would have preferred more insight explaining why Bill has this attraction to his teacher. “He's hot” is not an acceptable reason for a student to be so bold. You need to do a better job showing what motivates the actions of your characters. I've noticed this same problem in your other fiction. Your characters do things that seem completely irrational or out of character and you don't take the time to explain the motive to the readers. Your writing lacks credibility.
Author's Response: I found out that after I had posted this and as far as I've heard, it is not illegal to have a similar title. I haaven't read the other story either. || I will try keeping that in mind and see what I can do about that, thanks :) || Aye, maybe. But the way I imagined Bill in this, he would giggle. || I will keep that in mind as well. Thank you :)
Date: 04/04/08 07:46 pm Title: Chapter 8
really good loved it lol also it was funny in my opinion
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: 04/04/08 07:12 pm Title: Chapter 8
Wow, I've just read it all. It's SO hot. I totally LOVE IT! Great Work Hun ! :D
Author's Response: Thanks! :D:D
Date: 04/04/08 06:42 pm Title: Chapter 8
Well...Can I go to detention now to?
Please update soon!
Author's Response: Haha, I will ask :P
Date: 04/04/08 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 8
Damn, with punishments like that, who minds getting detention??
I sure as hell don't!
*hugs*
Author's Response: Hahaha! Lovely :)