Date: 07/31/13 01:52 am Title: Chapter 5
Can't wait to see where this story goes.....
Date: 07/02/13 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 4
Awww, lonely Bill! I'm sure Tom will come to visit him again :). I wonder how long he was gone and what about the others waiting for him.
Author's Response: Tom will surely visit him, but not that early :) I don't know if it was the next chapter or the one after that but you will get to know how long Tom was gone and how the others felt when Tom was away.
Date: 07/02/13 07:46 pm Title: Chapter 3
Well, that must have been confusing situation (maybe I expected Tom to be a bit more panicing?). Seems like this mermaid figure can really twist things around. :)
Date: 07/02/13 07:40 pm Title: Chapter 2
Aww, we get to the mermaids now :). Let's see where this is going. I'm sorry I'm a bit behind in this, but trying to read again more. Btw, the tattoo I was talking about earlier was that kissing mermaid thing on Bill's shoulder.
Author's Response: Haha now I know. I didn't know he had a mermaid tattoo but I searched for it on the internet after you told me that my story would remind you about his tattoo. I really like his tattoo, it looks cute on him xD
Date: 06/30/13 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 4
Huh, we'll, that was actually a bit disappointing... Kinda short and not at all explanatory, and not a very happy union at all. But I do look forward to where you take things from here...
Author's Response: I know this chapter was quite short but the next chapter will be longer. And I didn't like this chapter too but every time I tried to change something and maybe do it better it just got worse. Next chapter will be better :)
Author's Response: I know this chapter was quite short but the next chapter will be longer. And I didn't like this chapter too but every time I tried to change something and maybe do it better it just got worse. Next chapter will be better :)
Date: 06/27/13 02:47 pm Title: Chapter 4
WHAT HAPPENED TO GEORG?! HOW LONG WAS TOM IN THE CAVE! Myaaaaaa! D:
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. This really helped me to go on writing. I didn't know how to continue and now I noticed I totally forgot Georg xD Now with Georg back on my mind I havd an idea to continue my story :) And you will get to know what happened to Georg and how long Tom was in this cave :)
Date: 06/27/13 01:01 am Title: Chapter 4
Aww poor Bill. He just wants a friend.
Date: 06/07/13 09:27 pm Title: Chapter 3
Ok, it wasnt because the chapter was bad, I just forgot to track it, and missed the update. Very nice two chapters, I can't wait for Tom to finally meet Mer-Bill
Author's Response: Okay thank you. I just wondered why I just got so few reviews if the story was read about 200 times. And the two will meet in the next chapter :)
Date: 06/06/13 07:14 pm Title: Chapter 3
Very exiting. Wonder what will happen next?
Date: 06/06/13 06:14 pm Title: Chapter 3
Tom!!! Get it together man ;p Silly Tom always getting himself into trouble.
Date: 05/29/13 02:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
This story looks like it will lead to something extraordinary. Your English is very good, I myself know how hard it is to write in a language that's isn't you first. I must say I like the fact the mermaids live in a lake and not the sea. Can't wait for the next chapter :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much :D I personally don't know to where this story will lead xD It's like it captured me and it's taking me away every time I continue to write xD This sounds a bit weird but that's how it is xD Yeah writing in a language I didn't grow up with is quite difficult but it gets better everytime I continue and write a new chapter :) I really hope it will be as good as if I had grown up with it but I guess that won't happen. The next chapter will be uploaded in the middle of next week if I have time :)
Date: 05/27/13 01:30 am Title: Chapter 2
Uh oh Tomi. Getting swept away huh. You better hope the mermaids know CPR.
Date: 05/10/13 11:33 am Title: Chapter 1
I would gladly proof read for you! And for English being your second language, you're doing splendidly! You should hear me try to speak German, my sentence structure and grammar would make your ears bleed. They aren't even so much mistakes as much as making it flow better for the reader- so you should be really proud of yourself!
Author's Response: Thank you! Maybe you could email me: viivi.kiiwi@gmail.com. That's nice to hear :) I don't think you german could be that bad. So in my opinion it's quite an easy language but I met a native english speaker once and he told me how hard he found it to learn the german language. I don't really know what could be so difficult but I guess you're thinking the same about english. Maybe I can teach you some german? xD
Date: 05/06/13 02:48 am Title: Chapter 1
The thought of mermaids is cute. Reminds me of Bill's tattoo all the time. I'm not sure if this was going a bit fast at times, but I'm sure this'll be a sweet story. :)
Author's Response: Okay I thought it was too slow xD I didn't want to write about so many things where nothing really happens but I think the next chapters will be a bit more detailed :) And may I ask which tattoo you mean?
Date: 05/05/13 10:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hi! *waves* this is a really cool start. I do have a few questions though...1) how complete is this story? 2) what do you think your update schedule is going to be? 3) is english your first language? I don't know how to put this nicely, but you really need a beta, you have a lot of tense issues and some grammar problems. Spelling is surprisingly good though, except you used 'of' when you meant 'off'. If you haven't got anyone else to ask, feel free to email me. Id be willing to help out. Apri89@comcast.net just know...I might not be the best option if you don't have most of it written and are planning regular updates. I don't get too much email, so if I go a long time receiving nothing, I tend tofall out of the habit of checking it... I do look forward to seeing more of this though!
Author's Response: Hey :) 1) I'm working on the third chapter now and planned about 6 chapters or something like that. 2) I don't know. If I have time and get the chapters finished quicky I'll upload maybe once a week. 3) No it's my second language. My first one is german :) And yes I know my english is not the best, but I'm trying to improve it :) But thank you for the response and I think I'm going to email you within the next days.
Date: 05/04/13 11:52 am Title: Chapter 1
I like the idea, and the story line of the story looks good, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Get an editor! Your writing isn't doomed, but you could seriously reword some things to make at least less choppy sentences. You have a few typos as well. Pretty much, you've got the right idea, but it doesn't flow well. Keep up the hard work, and don't give up! See if you can get someone to edit for you, it's an important part of the writing process. I'd really like to read this story, but the writing is making me wince a little at the moment, so do your best! I'll follow this, and I hope to see your writing improve, because I see a lot of potential. Let me know if you'd like my help!
Tschüs
Harpy
Author's Response: Thanks for this long response. I always thought my english was quite well.. :/rnAnyways I'm from Germany and I know my english won't be as perfect as if I had grown up in an english speaking country. rnAlso this is my first story I'm writing in english, but I'll try my best to make not so many mistakes :)rnMaybe you could proof-read my texts before I upload them?
Date: 05/03/13 05:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love stories about creatures. I hope more chapters soon
Date: 05/03/13 02:28 am Title: Chapter 1
Amazing! Please more soon!