Date: 07/13/13 04:14 am Title: The last night
This story is hard to read. Hard because it just brings out so many feelings that it's almost palpable. It's actually quite amazing that with just the words only, I can imagine the emotions almost like smoke entering through my eyes and connecting with my heart and mind. I must say, I love how this is written. The subject matter is touche but I think it is handled sensitively. Basically I will be tuned into the updates. I know that to write this patience is requires so thanks for updating.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you "read it" that way, I have a hard time writing in English, and is always so afraid it won't come across the way I intended it to. Your words make me feel like I manage to. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and the next chapter will actually be up later today!
Date: 07/12/13 08:25 pm Title: The last night
I hope Georg's love is big enough to make Bill keep their babe, and rise it!!!
U're awesome, post more often please ^^
Author's Response: I hope so too, even if it looks really dark right now. And thank you, will post the next chapter later today!
Date: 06/07/13 08:38 pm Title: Gustav
Wow, Gustav! This was quite a scary outburst. I am surprised that neither Tom nor Georg (especially Georg) defended Bill when Gustav started attacking him and calling him names. It was also too much when Gustav hurt physically Georg and Tom. I know that they are at fault in different ways, but violence never solves anything.
It was interesting how Gustav was comforting and threatening Tom at the same time. I think it is something that actually can be effective with Tom. He needs to be loved no matter what.
I still feel so bad about the abuse that Tom endured from his mother. He is as a victim as Bill here.
Poor boys, all four of them... I hope they will survive this. I think if someone can persuade Bill to keep the baby, it's Gustav. He needs to continue talking to Bill.
I hope Bill will keep the baby. He has to. Somebody needs to explain it to him in a way that will get to him.
Anyway, great chapter! Very raw, emotional and touching. Cannot wait to learn what will happen next!
Author's Response: No, I agree, violence doesn't solve anything. But I guess they all know eachother very well and that they in some strange way understood how Gustav felt and could accept that? Even though I written the story, I'm far from sure. And yes, I think so too, Tom is so sencitive, and Gustav here knows that and loves him and tries to take care of him at some levle, despite his own feelings around all this. Thank you so much both for reading, reviwing and beta reading!
Date: 06/06/13 06:54 pm Title: Gustav
Idk, I don't know how you always manage to write so heavy fics, which go straight to the deepest core of human emotions. Just like this with such complex, raw scenes of emotions and all the boys so open and wounded. Very hard to deal with, but yet so fascinating. Somehow private. Like a car crashyou don't want to see, but you still look. There's no much to blame on anyone, I guess? They all deal with the situation the best they can. Part of me wants to say that it'll all be alright, but we both know it's not always so in life.
Raw, heavy, beautiful, tender... you always nail it so deep!
Author's Response: I'm so, so glad you view this story that way! This is my favorite story of all times, it's very personal to me, it was written very quickly, I posted a now chapter everyday, or even two a day and the reades were all wrapped up in this story. I'm happy if I have been able to creat even a fragment of that feeling when translating it. You know I strugle wiht my English, and this story was far from easy to translate!
Date: 06/04/13 09:28 pm Title: Gustav
This story always leaves me sobbing. I see so much of my younger self in this version of Bill, and that makes me feel awful.
Author's Response: *pets you* Oh, didn't mean to make my boy cry :( I hope you still can enjoy reading it!
Date: 06/04/13 06:31 pm Title: Gustav
I'm so speechless and shocked about Gustav's behavior hehe
Author's Response: Oh? I guess he was pretty shocked, too! Thanks for reading!
Date: 05/16/13 02:20 pm Title: To be loved
Woah! That was.... intense, holy shit! You really did push all triggers with this one and went veeeeery far i every possible way. So distorted, so sad, so... strong setting! Woah indeed!
I don't know why I feel so frustrated and angry at Bill. Like he's sort of catalyst to everything bad happenibg here even if he isn't. Even when he makes Tom so fragile, comnforts him in a way it's both sick and twisted and yet somehow smt Icould see pnly them doing. Nobody could go that deep. The sadness, the restrictyed anger, frustration and scars are ro clear here. Also with Tom and Simone and I think the raghe was even harder to deal with than anger. So, so powerful! And you know some things we've discussed about before...
It's so fucked up, so very fucked up. But I want to think that something good can come from this. I want to believe.
Amazing chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks, I think that is good? or at least to wake such a reaction? And yeah, this is a really fucked up story, over all. I hope so too, and I hope you will like the rest of this story!
Date: 05/15/13 07:36 am Title: To be loved
Poor Tom :(
Author's Response: Yeah, I think so to, poor, poor little Tom!
Date: 05/15/13 06:05 am Title: To be loved
Now I understand why Tom had a complete breakdown in the last chapter. He's already been through the whole pregnancy thing with Simone. Jeez, that woman is evil. How can she hope to justify using her son like that? The twins' relationship might be freaky weird, but what can you expect with their upbringing and at least they have each other for comfort. The I-love-yous was a lovely ending to such an angsty chapter, but I could also feel the desperation coming through those words. And it kind of made me think, is Tom repeating the way Simone treated him? Did she tell him how much she loved him while abusing him? And is he assuring Bill of his love because he knows what he does to his twin is also a form of abuse? Such complex emotions involved. And poor Georg, involved but also on the sidelines. So sad.
Author's Response: Yes, or very sick. Good Tom's reaction made more sence now, I hope the whole story will in the end! I think that is a very interesting thought, and yes, I think that can be partly the case,I'm pretty sure Tom feels like he is abusing Bill, too.Thank you so much for your review, it's so interesting to hear how others view this story. Even if it's finished since many years back, I'm still not 100% sure about all "why" and "if" in it!
Date: 05/14/13 01:13 am Title: To be loved
The only monster here is Simone. I cannot believe what she put poor Tom through and had guts to try to justify it.
No matter how weird Tom and Bill get together, they need and love each other and it does not feel wrong what they do together.
I hope Bill will keep his baby. It's not baby's fault. S/he deserves a right to live.
Great chapter!
Author's Response: I think she is a very, very sick person in this story, I really don't think she is able to understand what she has done. No, of course not, but the question is if Bill can view it that way? Thanks, and thank you again for helping me out!
Date: 05/13/13 08:05 pm Title: To be loved
o/ I hope they're done with her now and that she doesn't come back anymore...
Why can't Bill and Tom stay with the babe if they love each other even in a brotherly way??? @_____@
*sofuckingsadandcryinghere*
Bill can not get rid of this babe, he and Tom MUST regrete before do it ._.
more!!!
Author's Response: Not sure it's so easy to just break free from your own mother like that, but we can hope? And well, I don't think Bill really want to have any baby at all right now, but we will see, are still a lot of this story left :)rnThanks for reading and reviewing, more comes very soon!
Date: 05/10/13 03:57 pm Title: For the good of all of them
So tragic. It feels so wrong, so devastating to see this happy thing being also so sad, howmuch Bill doesn't want it to happen and - with every right - sees it as a monster with a starting point nobody deserves. I wish they could be happy, things would be simple. Especially the first scene with Tom was heart breaking. It truly broke my heart. Well, you know how much I wish them to have a little family, you know me.
Author's Response: I know, and I guess you felt as bad for Tom hear as I do. It really is sad, it shoudl be something good, but to be "forced" to become a parent, I guess that never is viewed as something postive :(
Date: 05/10/13 02:09 pm Title: No longer alone
There's this certain melancholy in this. Despitre the beauty of new life and how much Bill is taken care of, the beauty in this all, it can't wipe away of the conflicted situation, the sadness in everything. I wish Bil wouldn't want to get rid of it, but it's not that simple, I know. I find it nice (but sad) change to the normal, happy way to mpreg. This approach is new and refreshing.
Very gentle chapter. I had some thoughts I'd rather share in private, so I'll DM you. :)
Author's Response: I think so too, and I'm glad you see that. I started to write this as a reaction to, or a respond to, all happy, sappy "oh, I'm pregnant! Wiht my brother! How lovely, let's tell mum!"-fics, I wanted to write something that was medical posible (it's explaind in SOTR)and with the reactions I think it have been meet by from Bill's side. I hope I manage to make it at least a little realistic even though it's a m-preg.
Date: 05/09/13 11:42 am Title: For the good of all of them
I'm wondering how Bill would feel about the baby if he knew for certain that it was Georg's and not Tom's. If he knew for sure Georg wanted him to keep it, would he feel more inclined to want it? Or is it more to do with him being scared the baby will be disabled because of it being conceived from 2 brothers and from the things he's done to try and be rid of it? Or maybe also, that being a pregnant is just evidence that he is such a freak of nature. What can he do about it now if he's too far gone to have a termination? He's already tried to abort by himself with potions, will he get so depserate he'll try shoving something up there and chance dying along with the baby? I was kind of shocked by Tom's reaction; he basically made Bill feel like it was all Bill's fault and that it was up to Bill to do something about it. He was no help at all, just wallowing in self pity. Thank God, Bill has Georg. Now, if the two of them would just talk, and Georg would tell Bill he will support him if he has the baby...because Bill already suspects that Georg is not completely unhappy if the baby is his. Oh, this is so sad...and that poor unborn baby. Why do you write such heartwrenching emotions so well? I'm glad you do, though, as hard as this is to read.
Author's Response: Interesting thoughts, and yes, it's hard to know exactly where all this comes from. I hope I will manage to give some answers to that later on, there are still a lot to be told in this fic.(I think it's 17 parts.) I do think Bill is able to do almost anything, but the question is if he will? I find it interesting that you (and others) view Tom that way here, can see it and understand it, even if I mostly feel bad for Tom. And maybe are there even more behind this, his reaction, than we know so far? But yeah, Tank God for Georg, even if I feel really bad for him, it must be hard to want a child that the "carrier" of it hate so deeply. And thank you, I'm so glad you think so! This was a bit hard to write too, this is in some ways a very personal fic.
Date: 05/05/13 04:04 pm Title: For the good of all of them
Let me spank Bill so hard that'll leave black bruises and he'll won't forget so soon. He decided to "give his butt" now he MUST/HAVE to face the consequences and not being so fu@#ing selfish (he and Tom) ¬¬'
I don't like where this fic is going, but I can NOT stop reading it! Post please! ._.
Author's Response: I do think it's more complicated than that, but sure, it is selfish too. rnI'm glad you reading it and more comes soon :)
Date: 05/05/13 01:48 pm Title: For the good of all of them
=( so sad Bill thinks like this....
thanks for great capi :)
Author's Response: Yes, it is, isn't it? Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!
Date: 05/05/13 01:00 pm Title: For the good of all of them
I am disappointed in Tom. Instead of supporting Bill and sharing the responsibility he felt sorry for himself. He only made Bill hurt more.
Georg is a strong loving guy. I hope he'll persuade Bill to have this baby. I think the baby is George's anyway.
I understand Bill, but I hope that he'll be able to look at the situation from a different, more positive angle.
Great chapter! It was very painful to read. I can feel emotions of all three boys.
P.S. I'll be happy to beta this story for you for typos and the like. My e-mail ura_hd@hotmail.com
Author's Response: I find it interesting that so many seems to be disapointed in Tom. I can understand it, but I do think Tom hurts if posible even worse by this than Bill does? And yeah, I love Georg in this story, and well, we will see, but it really had been much easier if the child was Georg's and they know for sure. I'm glad you liked it, and thank you so much for helping me out!
Date: 05/01/13 10:00 pm Title: No longer alone
this is not gonna be easy for Bill but good he has Georg by his side, but Tom...well, i hope everything will be ok
Author's Response: No, it sure won't. And well, a bit more about Tom soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me!
Date: 05/01/13 09:49 pm Title: No longer alone
Does Bill really not love Georg? It seems that he does, but just does not want to acknowledge.
I really like this Georg. He is strong and loyal to Bill. I hope he will manage to persuade Bill to have this baby. I think the baby is Georg's.
Great chapter! Cannot wait for more!
P.S. I can beta typos for you if you'd like.
Author's Response: I think you are right, I think he doesn't want to acknowledge it or even want to feel t. I like Georg very much too, and I do think he is a really great guy even in real life :) Thanks for reading,the next chapter is up now! And oh, thanks, it had been really kind of you if you had liked to help me out!
Date: 05/01/13 06:03 pm Title: No longer alone
As much as Bill keeps denying to himself that he loves Georg, I think if he wasn't such a mess, trying to keep himself numb so as not to feel anything at all, he'd realise that he does. And in this chapter Georg certainly seems to be intensly in love with Bill; he takes care of him, reassures him, tells him truths he doesn't want to hear and takes verbal abuse without being abusive in return...shows him how much he's loved without ever saying the words. He's being amazingly supportive especially as the 'IT' might not even be his. I'm wondering now just how much longer Bill can keep it hidden since Dunja knows and she's sure to tell someone she thinks she can trust at laest because, let's face it, this is monumental news and so hard to keep something like that to yourself. I hope the news doesn't get out to Tom before Bill has a chance to talk to him. And I'm so scared of what Bill might do now he knows he can't get a legal termination. He's already tried all sorts of things, so just how desperate will he get. See how much you have me wrapped up in this story already. I'm really feeling for both Bill and Georg. I'm all on edge thinking how it might all end up. Great chapter. Love, Helen x
Author's Response: Yeah, I do think so too, but I don't think he will be able to do so anytime soon, if ever? I really do think Georg is madly in love with Bill in this story, he truly is the love of Georg's life, even though he knows he will never be loved back that way. And yeah, it's really a hard thing to keep a secret, I think very few who had managed to. Bill really is desperat but I'm not so sure he has totaly given up the thought of a legal abortion, we see about that, I guess. Thank you so much for reading this story too, your reviews means a lot to me! *hugs*