Date: 04/02/13 02:57 pm Title: Chapter 6
I love the way you write the interactions between the friends, Andi and Bill, and Gustav and Tom. They come over so natural, just like friends would be, making fun and teasing each other, but also offering advice and reassurance. I could just picture Gus's raised eyebrows when Tom said he and Bill had kissed. So, I'm guessing Bill will say 'yes' considering how lovestruck he already is.
Author's Response: This review means the world to me because I strive to make them seem as naturalistic as possible! I know the 'love at first sight' approach can sometimes seem a little false and I hope the friendships manage to counter balance that :) xx
Date: 04/02/13 02:45 pm Title: Chapter 5
This chapter was really lovely. So funny, Bill staring at Tom's naked chest and burning the pancake because he's too busy kissing him. Too sweet. For all that he's enjoying Bill's company, Tom must be feeling weird that he's suddenly started fancying a boy, which is why he's off to talk to Gus, I guess.
Author's Response: It was such a cliché but what can I say? Bill's a romantic! And yes, although he isn't opposed to homosexuality he has been strictly heterosexual until meeting Bill, such a drastic change for him to try to over come
Date: 04/01/13 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 8
Please make the chapters longer..... I'm dying over here.... This story is amazing.....
Author's Response: I try with the chapters but I just get so eager to post that I post shorter ones! I am trying to improve on this, however! And thank you so much :)
Date: 04/01/13 05:11 pm Title: Chapter 8
Poor billl Wat's wrong with him ;A;
Author's Response: I believe his main issue essentially is his stubbornness, haha!
Date: 04/01/13 05:03 pm Title: Chapter 4
Aw, Tom is such a gentleman, paying for the cab and opening Bill's door for him. Way to impress the boy. It's kind of funny how Tom is confused by his own actions in hitting the guy; I guess he's kind of in denial at this stage about just how much he already likes Bill. I like how they chat about their families, already learning stuff about each other. And how their lives are pretty different but they're both 'mummy's boys'. And Tom sleeps over...even if it is on the couch. I love that bit of uncertainty Bill has over Tom's sexual orientation, that he noticed Tom chatting to the girl in the bar, and how he holds back from kissing him goodnight. That he tries to tell himself he'll be happy just having Tom as a friend, but doesn't really believe it. The attraction is strong on both sides, but I'm wondering how Tom will reconcile himself to fancying a boy. I want to carry on reading and reviewing, but its getting late and I still have stuff to do, so I'll hold off until tomorrow.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed the tension within this as much as I did! I didn't want to make Tom fall for him too quickly, or at least to not admit it too quickly that is. He's been firmly straight until Bill, but honestly, who could resist that boy? I wanted to contrast them in as many ways as possible whilst still making them compatible for one another so we could see them develop more as a couple and I really hope I pulled it off! :) xx
Date: 04/01/13 03:57 pm Title: Chapter 3
Great description of Bill's outfit and makeup. Made me laugh Tom not liking the drink, but Andi and Bill just glugging it down. Love the spark of jealousy when Tom sees the way Bill and Andreas are dancing together. And yay...Tom to the rescue when that arsehole won't leave Bill alone. I like that you made it realistic with Tom damaging his knuckles from the punch, because it's flesh hitting flesh and can hurt the one doing punching as much as the one who gets punched. Worth the pain though because now he has an excuse to go back to Bill's place. Just one little error I picked out...At the end of the first paragraph,'Georg and Gustav had both opted for a blue drinking' should that be 'drink' instead of 'drinking'? Now I gotta read on to find out what happens when they get back to Bill's place.
Author's Response: Thank you for pointing out my error, I'll change it right away :) I beta my own work so Im not suprised by the mistakes, but am very grateful when people point them out. I myself can't stand the drink Tom has! I used to train in martial arts, so I learned quite fast that being the puncher can be as painful as the one being punched if you do it wrong. Plus, as you said, he needed an excuse to spend time with Bill.
Date: 04/01/13 03:32 pm Title: Chapter 2
I do enjoy the little details you put in to bring your characters to life, like Andreas being so clumsy and not much good at the job which is how his uncle came to employ Bill. But then he's perfectly on time to collect Bill for their night out so he also has his good points. Tom and Bill must be fated the way they keep meeting up. Love the way they both blush when they see each other. And Bill getting ready for his night out, getting ready to impress Tom. Made me laugh how Bill identifies Georg because of his 'pretty hair' and Andreas makes fun of him. As Tom is already pretty smitten with Bill I'm wondering what he'll make of Bill in all his finery. Better read on and find out.
Author's Response: After my last story that was mostly focused on Tom, I wanted to make sure Bill's character truely came across in this one, and so I made him cute and funny. And as for Andreas, those small details come to me on the spot, they're never planned so I guess that's just how they would be in my own little world haha, so I'm really glad you like those bits as much as my imagination does. Bill in his finery is quite the sight to see ;)
Date: 04/01/13 03:27 pm Title: Chapter 8
Poor Bill! I wonder what is wrong with him exactly. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: More should be up tomorrow :3 hopefully Tomi can make it all better
Date: 04/01/13 03:25 pm Title: Chapter 8
Dude your evil, no stoping so soon I need more!
Author's Response: *evil cackle* muahahaha!
Date: 04/01/13 03:16 pm Title: Chapter 8
i'm curious what happened to Bill that he ended like that? hopefully nothing wrong.
Author's Response: It'll all be explained later on in the story, I promise :)
Date: 04/01/13 03:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
Sorry again that it's taken me so long to get around to reviewing your new story, but as I said I wanted to give it proper attention. I really like this first chapter and the ways you get Bill and Tom to first see each other at the doctor's surgery and then to bump into each other at the pharmacy too. Great detail with how the receptionist behaves at the surgery (don't we all know someone 'helpful' like that at our own doctor's? There's always at least one person who thinks they own the place and makes it their job to make everyone else's lives a misery) so great characterisation. Poor Bill suffering from migraines...I really sympathise because I used to get awful ones myself and would be bedridden for at least a whole day with blurred vision, appalling headache and vomiting. So, yeah, Bill gets all my sympathy. I just hope his headaches don't indicate a more serious condition. Right. I'm gonna leave this alone now and read on or I'll never get up to your last chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review like this! I always look forward to your comments, they spur me on. Receptionists have a tendency to be a bit bitchy, don't they? But it was all made better when Tom saw his Bill for he first time :) I'm sorry to hear you suffered from them too, and I hope that reading a story like this won't bother you because of that. I promise that there'll be enough lovey-dovey to balance out the bad.
Date: 04/01/13 02:35 am Title: Chapter 7
so cute :D I love it!!! I wish I had a longer review for you but theres not much else to say when something is just good theres nothing to else to say!
Author's Response: Any type of happy review is amazing for me to read, short or long :) I'm really glad you're enjoying the story!
Date: 03/31/13 03:41 pm Title: Chapter 7
nice :) i like that they decided to try with a date and be boyfriends. maybe that change would be good for both of them:)
Author's Response: I hope so! :)
Date: 03/31/13 02:46 pm Title: Chapter 7
I am sooooooo in luv with story.... The chapters need to be longer because this felt like I tease and I could easily read this story forever... Keep writing and I will keep reading..... :)
Author's Response: Hehe, I'd happily write longer chapters but it would mean updating less often and I get too excited and eager to wait! I'm so so happy that you like this story, me, Innocent!Bill and Cute!Tom all love you very much! :)
Date: 03/31/13 02:04 pm Title: Chapter 7
Aww fantastic chapter!
Author's Response: I'm very glad you liked it :3
Date: 03/29/13 10:43 pm Title: Chapter 6
Luv this story..... :)
Author's Response: Thank you :D!
Date: 03/29/13 09:33 pm Title: Chapter 6
super :)
they both definitely are into each other but kinda scared to make another move but maybe now when Tom called. hmm...i think hey would be good together :)
Author's Response: I think they would be too :)
Date: 03/29/13 04:53 pm Title: Chapter 6
Love it!
Author's Response: Awh, thank you! :)
Date: 03/29/13 01:17 am Title: Chapter 5
Aw they're cute together.
Author's Response: I love writing Innocent!Bill and Cute!Tom together, it always makes me smile :)
Date: 03/28/13 10:35 pm Title: Chapter 5
Amazing........
Author's Response: This review = short but so sweet! :3