Date: 08/27/13 04:14 am Title: Chapter 18
Yay!! They are rescued. But Tom better the heck not stick to the silly idea of never touching Bill again. I have a feeling Bill will have some objections to that. Plus Bill will be convinced its because of what has happened to him, which is not what Tom will want to imply. Thanks for the update, I can't wait for more!!
Author's Response: Thank you for a great review. I'm not telling whether or not Tom will keep his vow; we don't even know whether Bill will be okay yet, and if he is he'll have a lot of recovering to do, both physically and mentally. He might not want anyone to touch him sexually ever again after what he's been through. I'm working on the next chapter but it will likely take a while since I'm super busy at the moment. Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Love and hugs, Helen x
Date: 08/26/13 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 1
OMG! SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY
Author's Response: Sorry I didn't reply sooner. Really happy you're loving the story. Hope you enjoy the latest update. And many thanks for taking the time to review; its greatly appreciated. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 08/25/13 04:55 pm Title: Chapter 18
please update ASAP!
and i didnt know THF had new owners? what happened to the others
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing, glad you enjoyed it. I'm working on the next chapter but it might take a while because life is kind of busy right now. And if you go to THF home page there are notices about the new owners/mods of the site. Many thanks again, Hugs, Helen x
Date: 07/18/13 11:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
hugs
love ya helen
yeah i know what ya mean about insperation :(
Date: 07/18/13 04:34 am Title: Chapter 17
Wow, so much progress on this story since I last read it. Fabulous!! I'm glad Bill has remember that he is a fighter and a survivor. This cliffhanger is killer though! Can't wait for the next update. Bill and Tom deserve some happily ever after eventually? right?
Author's Response: I'm really happy that you're still reading. And yeah, a lot happens in this chapter; I needed to move events along a bit and that's certainly happened. Sorry for the cliffhanger; that's my trademark, right? I'm working on the next chapter, playing around with events and not 100% sure how it will all work out. Hopefully the wait won't be so long this time, but with summer holidays on the horizon and my DH (a teacher) off for 6 weeks I won't get so much alone time to write. I'll do my best though, because right now my inspiration and motivation are high and I have to make the most of that before it all deserts me again. Thank you again for reading and taking time to review; it's greatly appreciated. Love and hugs, Helen x
Date: 07/18/13 03:34 am Title: Chapter 17
Oh, I can't believe I didn't mention the rape! Poor Bill!! He's just suffered so much already, and now that filthy creature gets his fingers inside him, and Bill's body just has to go and betray him too??!! No wonder he didn't want Tom to touch him for so long. No wonder he scratched the hell out of himself. His own body is his enemy, getting aroused while his heart is shattering and his mind is freaking out. Even if max did plant the auto-suggestions there, if his body enjoys that man's touches, how can he trust his body ever again? This is one huge mind fuck for him. He's trying to brush it off, telling himself it's just sex, it doesn't have to mean a damned thing, and just to get it over with. But then, what if it had happened, and he came? He'd have some serious issues to deal with, once again. But he'd never be able to trust another counselor. Bill is so fucked! Raped, betrayed by his own flesh, and unable to get any help.... Ugh....this is HORRIBLE!!! you've created a many layered, complex hell for him, he surely won't be able to recover just from Tom Kisses? I mean, that would be nice, but.... Crap, he's been messed with for MONTHS by this creep. Drugged, kidnapped, raped, maybe even shot. and this is all after the Ralph Incident?? Years of therapy might, maybe, possibly help, but now he won't even get that! what's going to happen in the long run? What kind of PTSD is this poor, brutalized boy going to have? When are you going to post the next chapter??????????
Author's Response: Here I am again. And sometimes I hate you as much as I do my own imagination because you always give me food for thought and make me reconsider things. I think I have the rest of the story pretty much plotted out, although I know that might change as I write it, (for fuck's sake, this whole story was only meant to be a 2-3 chapter addendum to KUA, just to tie up loose ends over the pendrive, and it kept on growing), and then you analyse what I've written and my mind goes off on tangents. Or you make me view events differently (from the readers' pov and as a fellow writer) and I have to take other things into consideration. And, yes, you're right, that by going through with the rape (fingers inside equals penetration equals rape) and Bill reacting by getting aroused he's never going to be able to trust himself again. I suppose it could go two ways basically; he either never wants to have sex again,not even with his twin. Or he clings to Tom in an unhealthy way - although some would say their incestous relationship is already unhealthy - as the only solid foundation in his life, and he'll be incapable of having any kind of relationship with anyone else, not even friendship. I actually think in real life Bill has serious trust issues with people, and who can blame him because they have pretty much been exploited since they were children. Even if they did seek fame they weren't old enough to realise what that really meant for their personal lives, and I can actually see Simone as the pushy mum, out to make money off her kids success (and there we go again...another future storyline popping up!). I think they all needed the time off between Humanoid and this new album, but even then the twins have pretty much constantly been under surveillance. I wouldn't mind some of their money, but I certainly wouldn't want that level of invasion of privacy. Off track again; I guess I should have put most of this in an email. So, yeah, poor Bill. And I wasn't at all sure whether the abuse would go that far until I wrote it. In the end I decided that Max's main aim was to claim Bill, so he wouldn't be waiting around for Tom or someone else to come and snatch Bill from under his nose. He's tried being nice to Bill - as he sees it - and Bill ttempting to escape again was a tremendous betrayal. In his twisted way he thinks once he's possessed Bill's body Bill will be his, in body if not yet in mind. So, yeah, thngs had to go so far, but I couldn't have him getting his own way completely...your 'Keep Max's Dirty Dick away from Bill' campaign has partially worked...so far. But...who knows how the scene will finish in the next chapter! Its not written yet, so anything could happen! Sorry for the tease! Right, I have to get on with my day now. I honestly will try to email you over the next day or so. It's not that I don't want to, just that time runs away with me. Love and hugs and...keep writing, Helen x
Date: 07/18/13 03:25 am Title: Chapter 17
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRGHHHHH!!!! *tearing out hair and rolling around on the floor* Helen!!!! I can't stand it! Is Bill shot?? You wouldn't kill him. I know you wouldn't do that to us. Would you?........................................................Naaahhhh. No way. whew. Okay. Bill's going to be alright. Right? You...you wouldn't... No no no no.... Um.... Get Tom in there! Get that icky, disgusting slimeball off Bill! Get Chas' ass kicked! Oh my god, you made that guy even more vile than your villain, in just one teeny tiny scene. he WANTS Tom to go get hurt/possibly killed?? What kind of sick fuck is he? I hope his sister finds out and tells him she never wants to see him again! That is just so messed up I can hardly stand it! What a...what a fricken creep! Tom's a teenager! Does Chas want every guy who even glances at his sister to DIE?? He's pure EVIL! I mean, at least MaxiPad (a very befitting thing for him to be reincarnated as after Bill kills him, if you ask me!) is completely INSANE. Chas is a lawman, he's supposed to help people, he's there to save a teenager from a raping weirdo! WTF. Seriously. You made that character just so sickening. One little sentence. One little bit of inaction. That's some serious magic right there. Now, it's time to bring Bill home. Alright? Please? Pretty please? Don't make us wait. Don't have MaxiPad sneak off with Bill again...Oh god, I don't think I could handle it. I need me some twin-loving happy times. Recovery. Vodka. Shit. I need a drink. Your cliffhangers, I sweart to gawd....I was seriously tense the whole deliciously long chapter. Your lack of sleep was worth it! For me, anyway... um...yeah. Just a beautiful, long read, very much needed. The writing, of course, top notch as always. So smooth, so realistic. It really does play out like a movie! Love it! But the cliffhanger....I'm sobbing with the need for relief! Thank you so much for the lovely mention, by the way! Now, I won't have a chapt up for a day or two, and Captivate isn't being updated, so guess what!! you have time to work on the next one!!! Love and many hugs! M.
Author's Response: Hi there. First...oh, I love Maxipad (once I'd worked out what it meant - us Brits call them sanitary (san) towels or by name brand like Kotex). But Maxipad totally works! I hadn't actually considered Chas as more evil than Max, but he's a real tool, isn't he? I'm sure Rachel will whip him good when she discovers what he's done. She'll be flabberghasted. And the twins don't have any luck with folks in positions of trust do they? That's two cops, their own security (twice now), a therapist...and David, although he made things right...who've betrayed them big time. They're going to be even tighter as a unit once this is over because they won't be able to depend on anyone but each other. And that's scary too because what if one lets the other down...ooooh, future plot twist idea? Maybe? God, I hate my brain taking me off in all directions. As for Chas, he's actually quite like Tom, if you think about it, jealous, possessive, hellbent on keeping his twin away from every threat. Remember in KUA before he'd even realised his true feelings for Bill, Tom had already warned off several potential boyfriends and had even bribed some of them to leave, so he can be pretty underhanded himself. Not sure he'd put someone's life in danger for daring to make nice with Bill, though. Or maybe he would, especially now he knows he can't trust a single other person to keep his twin safe. Oh, and just a small point, these events are supposed to be taking place around September 2011 so the twins aren't teenagers any more, they are just 22. Can't believe they'll be 24 in a couple of months...someone should cast a spell so they don't get any older. In fact, that spell should have been cast when they were both around 18, some people just shouldn't be allowed to grow up! Sorry I almost turned you to drink over this chapter...but I take that as a compliment! And, I have started on the next chapter, but that doesn't necessarily mean an early update because I have several scenarios playing out for how this will all end so I'm not sure which one will make the final cut. As usual, I'll likely end up writing three times as much as will eventually get posted. Right, I see you've addressed the rape in a seperate review so I'll go respond to that one. Love and hugs, Helen x
Date: 07/18/13 01:37 am Title: Chapter 17
Wow, that was really a monumental effort. The longest chapter I believe I have ever read, lol. Very well written as always; I am, however, saddened that Bill had to experience rape for a second time. I realize that it was just with fingers, but it was still forced penetration and that's most definitely rape. I was hoping through the entire lead in that it wouldn't go that far, but alas, I am not the writer, which is a good thing since you're the one with the talent :) I must also say that I really enjoy how you have portrayed Gordon throughout this story. I know that not all endings are happy ones, but I'm certainly hoping this one will be... so much angst deserves some fluff :D
Author's Response: Yeah, long? Much? I'm just one of those writers who can't help but write a million words when one or two would probably do. I do try and be more conscise, but its really hard to cut out a ton of stuff when I've worked hard on it and it sounds pretty good. I tend to end up writing several versions anyway, and have to discard a lot of it, so in fact what the readers get to see is generally a small percentage of actual words on page. See...long-winded explanation right there! And, yes, poor Bill. I juggled whether or not to go through with the rape, and tried out various scenarios where it needn't happen, but in the end this is the way it wanted to be written. I tried not to make it too sexy because it was a horrible ordeal for our Billi. I'm glad you like Gordon because I do too. I see him as the strong backbone of the family, while he's surrounded by these artistic, creative types. Tom tries to be strong too, but his emotions get in the way, especially that jealous, possessive streak, and that makes him act rashly, whereas Gordon is more level-headed although I'm sure he'd step up to protect his Simone and her boys if the need arose. And thank you so much for the compliment. I love that you think I have talent. Thank you for reading and especially for taking the trouble to review, it really makes the whole blood, sweat and tears thing worthwhile. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 07/18/13 12:36 am Title: Chapter 17
O___________________________________O ....
LOL Cliff hanger, of course! The suspense is killing me (I hope it kills Max too in the process)! Oh my god, I can't.... did the bullet hit someone? I bet it probably did, and I am also ready to bet that it ended up in Max's leg/arm, though he will still have some strength left to fight poor Bill :( (I seriously hope Bill's not injured...)
As for you, Tom, WHY DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO GORDON AND BILL?! Why does your ego have to be stupidly heroic? (Alright, alright, I know the guards and cops don't look like they'll get a move on soon, and it's frustrating to just sit there and not do anything about the fact that Bill is in danger of getting raped (Chas put oil on the fire too!), but it's also frustrating for us to think he may get injured or killed if he barges into the house....)
And you were right, you did write a mammoth chapter! It was so long, it took me quite a while to get through it, and it was very pleasant to read :) It was filled with tension, tiny glimmers of hope for an escape as well as shifts of situations.
Finally, I wanted to say, thank you for dedicating so much of your time this past week so we could have this chapter :) I hope my review was worth all the effort you invested in this chapter (and story)!
Author's Response: Thank you for your wonderful review. And yes, it does make all that effort worthwhile. I find my writing muse is very fickle and sometimes deserts me completely for weeks at a time, and then will come roaring back with a vengeance and I end up staying up til 2 am night after night until I get everything out there. I'm in a really productive phase at the moment, so I'm hoping that will continue for a while so I can get the next chapter done and post a bit faster. Mind you, when I carry on writing til the early hours every night I usually end up having to take to my bed with a migraine eventually. Fingers crossed that doesn't happen any time soon. Anyway, I agree, Tom can be a bit of a dick really and should have listened to sense, but then I suppose with the twin bond thing it almost feels like part of him is actually in there with Bill but he's blind and deaf and can't actualy discern what's going on. And he and Bill have already been parted for something like 7 or 8 hours, all during their journey to the cabin. Chas is a dick too. But there are similarities between him and Tom since Tom is ultra possesive of Bill. Not sure that Tom would be such an arse as to endanger someone's life for hitting on Bill, depends on how much of s shit that person was...and he'd definitely wish mutilation and death on Max. The twins don't have much luck with those in authority though, do they? They've fallen foul of incompetent cops, their own security and a therapist. Oh, and David betraying them in KUA, although he did try to make amends. Not sure they'll ever trust anyone again except each other. Anyway, thanks again for being a loyal reader and for taking the time to review. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 07/16/13 10:56 pm Title: Chapter 17
please please please update ASAP!!!
Author's Response: I'm working on it, but no promises. Inspiration is very fickle, sometimes I can write thousands of words in a week, sometimes I can't think of a single word. I'm really happy that you're still reading and thank you for taking time out to review. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 07/16/13 10:53 pm Title: Chapter 17
I was soooo happy when I seen the update nd I wasnt disappointed cant wait for the next update wanna know what happens!!!!!!!
Author's Response: And I'm soooo happy that you're happy. I'm glad that I still have loyal readers like even though I don't update so often. I'll try and get the next chapter out a bit faster, but no promises. Many thanks for taking the time to review. Hugs, Helen xrn
Date: 05/24/13 11:51 pm Title: Chapter 16
looking forward to more
im late on reading cause i had an accident, broke my leg and tooth and also been in alot of pain
im better now
Author's Response: I'm really happy you're feeling better...I hope your leg is mended and that something can be done to make your tooth whole so you can still give dazzling smiles. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I am working on the next chapter but everything seems to progress really slowly for me lately. I'll get there in the end, though. Thanks again. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 05/19/13 02:14 am Title: Chapter 16
That was so sweet of you, Helen! I'm so happy to know any of my words to you help give you encouragement to write, because if any nudge got you finally posting this chapter, hooray! This was another clencher. I feel like I'm watching a very intense thriller on a huge movie screen - you've made a very visual story, very believable characters, and an incredibly compelling storyline. The first part, Max's pov, made me feel like I was peering into a window of the dingy little cabin, watching him in the kitchen with his pathetic attempts at making a date-like meal for Bill. All that food falling apart, half spoiling, being terribly unappetizing, seems like a theme for everything Max touches. Like the van - I can picture it so well, spray painted, poorly, making it appear mottled and diseased. Which reflects very well the inner workings of his mind. Everything surrounding the man is just decrepit, broken, not right, from the cabin, to the food, to the clothes he gives Bill. And inside, he's got a pile of worms for a brain, sick and twisted and absurdly deluded. The fact that he's realized that this won't end well, and his decision, for when the time comes, is to shoot Bill before killing himself (which he HAS to be too cowardly to do), just adds more tension to the already tightly screwed story. And Bill's determination to allow the man to fuck him is not helping!! Gah! I do not want that sick asshole's dick in Bill's ass! One rape is more than enough! I'm so hoping that...but don't you hate when reviewers mention things that you have planned! I won't say what I hope happens, in case it's what you were thinking, but I still hope it is! Ack! save Bill! I love the details of the story, especially the aforementioned cabin/food/clothing. Poor Bill, he's already having to wear those duds! Isn't that torture enough, Helen?? And poor Tom. It's a wonderfully deft touch how he can't help but be a teenage heterosexual boy around pretty women. Then he gets angry at his own reaction, lol....our bodies are their own entities, which causes us a LOT of angst! Three miles...three miles...I'm going to start a Save Bill from Max's Ugly Dick campaign! Love n kisses and little prayers for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Finally I reply to your lovely, complimentary review. I can't apologise enough for missing it when you've taken the time to write. You actually make my little story sound so intersting when you pick out points like the cabin reflecting all that is wrong in Max's sick twisted world. I didn't think of things in quite that way, but was trying to show how everything is less than the perfect scenario he would have liked for a lovenest for him and Bill. He was pushed into acting without proper forethought so nothing is quite as he would want it to be, and there are so many problems with keeping someone prisoner - especially someone as famous as Bill Kaulitz - that he just didn't take into account. And yet, through all the issues he faces, he's still pretty single-minded. He wants to fuck Bill because he sees that as staking his claim, as much as sealing their love. That's his goal and he's determined to achieve it no matter what might happen in the future. And Tom? Yeah, he can't help his reactions, but he sure feels guilty about them, especially with his twin missing. He's sickened, I think, that he can even spare time for thoughts like that when his sole focus should be on getting Bill back. But random thoughts are beyond our control, and at least when he imagines actually having sex its Bill he still wants. Trouble is, now he's pissed Chas off, too. Although he didn't really do anything and wasn't really hitting on Rachel as such, getting on the wrong side of one of your security team is not a smart move, even though he understands the big guy's reaction since he'd feel that was himself if he thought someone was cosying up to Bill. I have an idea to use that in the next chapter, but I'm not quite sure yet. I do seem to repeat myself a bit with the twins having such bad luck with the law and others who are supposed to be protecting them. As I said before, I can't promise to keep Max's dick away from Bill because I'm not yet sure whether Bill will follow through with his plan, whether Tom and the A team will ride to the rescue, or whether something else will happen to intervene. But I am working on it...promise. I've been pleasantly surprised by how many people are still following this given the delays in posting and you know I have such serious doubts about my abilities so I definitely need reviews like yours to make it all worthwhile. Thanks again, my dear, for your input and encouragemnt. Big hugs, Helen x
Date: 05/18/13 12:01 pm Title: Chapter 16
Holy moley I'm on pins and needles here!! When will the suspense end?! Fantastic chapter! I really liked your analogy, between the trees and the prison bars. It was really interesting and unique. I'd never heard it before. Keep up the great work! I can't wait to see more!
Date: 05/17/13 12:22 pm Title: Chapter 16
THANKYOU so much for updating, I love this story so much and I cannot wait for it to be updated:D
Author's Response: I'm really happy you're still reading, and thank you so much for taking the time to let me know you're enjoying it. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 05/16/13 12:37 am Title: Chapter 16
ay great!!! they are closer!!! please update soon the next!! is super interesting every time more!!! :D
Date: 05/15/13 05:32 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, it definitely is! ;) And sometimes angst is easier for some people than others. Happy stuff is boring, anyway >> WE NEED CONFLICT!
Author's Response: Glad you feel that way! LOL!
Date: 05/14/13 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 16
Ahhhhh update yaaay nook don't stop there!!!
Author's Response: Sorry, I was going to add a bit more to this chapter but decided I'd waited long enough to post and didn't want to delay further, so it will be part of the next one. Thanks for reading and taking time to leave me a review. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 05/14/13 07:48 pm Title: Chapter 16
I'm scared and I know I shouldn't be >.<
LOL really looking forward to the action.
Author's Response: Action? Oh, hell, talk about pressure...but I think you're right, next chapter everything will kick off. Not sure of the exact details, but knowing me it won't all go to plan for Alex's A-team. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 05/14/13 06:44 pm Title: Chapter 16
Why do I have a feeling it's not going to be as easy as 'bust down the door, take out Max and rescue Bill'? Oh, because this is you we're talking about :P And you definitely know how to write conflict! I can't wait for the next chapter! :)
Author's Response: Okay, I'm taking that as a compliment. LOL!!! And you know my style of writing so well. Sometimes I wish I could write happy-happy but angst seems to be my thing. So, you're very probably right; any rescue attempt is unlikely be all plain sailing. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review, it means a lot to me. Hugs, Helen x