Date: 12/15/13 11:48 am Title: Chapter 21
Excellent chapter. Thank you so much for posting and for the holiday wishes. Merry Christmas to you and your family as well with a very Happy New Year thrown in :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing; I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and very best wishes for 2014. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 12/15/13 04:09 am Title: Chapter 21
Wow, Gordon is my hero. Talk about staying cool under pressure and doing what's best for you kids. Even if he didn't agree with their relationship, having the Dr and RN find them like that would not have been good for anyone. Poor Tom, I can't wait until he and Bill can really talk things through. They both really need that. I'm glad they have Gordon on their side though. I loved the imagine of a grown up Tom just needing to cry and be held by his dad. Thank you so much for the update! Merry Christmas!!
Author's Response: Thank you for such a wonderful review. I truly enjoyed writing this chapter. I love Gordon here too, but then the twins need someone level-headed in their crazy lives and Simone is pretty highly strung and has her own issues so its down to Gordon to be the voice of reason. I agree, the twins will need to talk and they'll need healing time and not just for Bill's physical injuries. If he was mentally fucked after what happened with Ralph how bad will things be after being kidnapped, molested and shot by Max? I'm not sure myself how that's going to go yet. Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Hope you have an amazing Christmas. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 12/04/13 06:18 pm Title: Chapter 20
Yay!! 7th time must have been the charm. Wonderful wonderful chapter! I'm so glad Bill is awake. I can't wait to see what happens next. Thank you so much!
Author's Response: Happy you enjoyed it. Not sure if I'll get the next chapter up before Xmas but I'll try. Thanks for the review, hugs, Helen x
Date: 12/01/13 01:29 am Title: Chapter 20
Oh NOOOOOO!!! Tom's so keen on protecting Bill that he let himself fall asleep, lying NAKED, next to NAKED Bill, with a couple of sticky wet patches on the bed???? Now a nurse is going to knock, jiggle the handle, Tom won't hear because he's so underslept he's practically in a coma, the nurse will worry, use an emergency key to get in, and everything's going to start ALL OVER AGAIN!!! *runs into the desert tearing hair out* How can Tom be so stupid!!!!! I can't stand it! But my emotional drama is a good sign, actually. As usual, you got me all caught up in your story, and now I am freaked out by what's going to happen next. Love how tortured Tom was, not sleeping, barely eating, only aware of the narrow pinpoint of his life - a tiny hospital room and Bill. You very deftly made his agony very real. And then, his own self-inflicted agony...delicious! I'm very relieved that he's not going to spend months chastely refusing his brother, forcing himself to ignore his own desires, and ruining everything with his "I made a promise!" b.s. Yay! Resolution knocked down in one fell swoop of a twin's hard-on! Tiiiimmmbbberrrrr! And Bill, in his coma, sending his twin porno images - what better way to while away the bland hours of a coma than to mentally project cocks and sex into your twin brother's psyche? Very nice. And I'm so glad Tom finally listened! Okay, I do hope you manage to post soon, because you left another cliff hanger, and I'm going to chew my nails down to nubs imagining that nurse coming into the room, with several people right behind her, of course. Several people with CAMERA PHONES. Gah! I just want the boys home, safe, comfortable, having sex and stuff! But if you are planning another imminent disaster, followed by Part III, I suppose there will be some rejoicing in that. Sigh.... *looks at watch, taps foot, waiting for the next chapter*
Author's Response: Sorry for not replying sooner; I've had a shit week and not felt like doing much at all. And I feel bad because you've left me another wonderful review that makes my chapter sound so much better than I thought it was. So...yeah, like you say, Tom's so sleep-deprived there was no way he was going to stay awake after coming, when he's all snuggled up with his twin. Howz he gonna get out of that one? I already know what's going to happen coz I've written that bit...ha! ha! I really have made a start on the next chapter; I just hope it won't take me 7 tries to complete it like this one did. I guess you do too or you might not have any nails left by the time I post again! I swear, if I ever write anything else after this I am writing short chapters so I can post them more often and not feel like I have to write a whole novel before I have enough to post. That's the plan, but then I'm so bloody long-winded I'm not sure whether I could actually work like that. Not sure I'll be writing anything after this for a little while, anyway. But then I do have some ideas. Damn my overactive brain. Hope you're having a good holiday. Or is it over now? In which case, hope you enjoyed it. Hear from you soon, love and hugs, Helen x
Date: 11/30/13 08:22 pm Title: Chapter 20
thank you for the update
yay bill woke up
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I'm happy Bill's awake too; it gets kind of boring having one of your main characters in a coma. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 09/25/13 05:04 am Title: Chapter 19
Another gorgeous chapter. I think you described and ICU patient very well (I'm a nurse). Tom very accurately described what a very sick Bill would look like to the eyes of someone not working in health care. So glad he woke up, but I knew you wouldn't be so cruel as to not let him wake up. Can't wait for more, as always. Great update, thank you!
Author's Response: Sorry for not replying before. Thank you for the update; glad I got most of the details right. Hope you enjoy the next chapter. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 09/24/13 11:51 pm Title: Chapter 18
I've never been shot, but this seems like it was beautifully written. I believe that Bill was shot and can feel that pain and suffocation. This chapter was so well written, I don't think I said that the first time.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you. It means a lot to me that I got that feeling over. Fortunately I've never been shot either, but writing is all about imagination so this is how I thought it might feel. And I'm really, really pleased you took the trouble to tell me you thought the chapter was well-written. I was a bit disappointed at the lack of reviews considering this was a major chapter with so much angst and drama, but reviews like yours make up for that. Thank you again for taking the time to read and let me know what you think. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 09/23/13 01:34 am Title: Chapter 1
I really think there are fewer people on the site. It seemed like there were tons more just a couple years ago, but this is a boy band fanfiction site, and the fandom is likely to wane. I completely understand where you're coming from in this chapter. Tom's Dilemma (ha ha how clever am I) is just JUICY PAIN. Self caused, juicy pain. People tend to be a superstitious lot, and it starts like this! Bad things happened. I wore a yellow tie that day. Bad things must happen because of the yellow tie. NEVER WEAR IT AGAIN JESUS CHRIST BURN IT BURN IT BURN IT! Now Tom is going to have to deal with unraveling an obsessive thought, which is never easy. That is, IF Bill lives. And he'd better! I hate mcd! Makes me sad. And the lack of reviews have nothign to do with lack of sex - this is a STORY, not a get-the-juices-flowing one-shot! There are readers out there (and you and I tend to get the same reviewers) who prefer the in-depth, well-written, long stories to one-shots or things the high schoolers are cranking out. Don't be discouraged, dear Helen! there are also the lurkers, as I've found out recently. Your writing is truly wonderful. The blood and sweat shows in all your careful crafting. Me, I upchuck the drama, Blah! all over the page. I barely edit, and I know it shows, but I also know that if I spent a whole lot of time on every word and line, I'd just over-work it. My first 2 stories, the Digging ones, I spent a LOT of time writing, re-writing, and trying to perfect, and really, they are very freshman attempts. But that's okay too. I just love the stories! Anyway, I adore your stories, so if everyone else abandons this site, we'll just have to email stories to each other. We'll always have one fan, anyway ;) Now back to beautiful, unconscious, possibly dying (NO NO NO!) Bill floating in his cloud world, and sad, conflicted Tom making bargains with the devil. NO SEX! Wanking in the hospital loo would be inappropriate! Unless it's like Gordon, or the doctor or something.
Author's Response: You really get where Tom is coming from. Trouble is he has a lot of circumstantial evidence to back up his self-directed condemnation. Though, if he takes the time to really pull the facts apart, it was Bill who persuaded him to do the deed in the first place. If you remember in KUA Tom had said no and Bill wouldn't accept it and gave Tom that BJ that lasted forever (well, it would have in real life since I posted part of it and then left Bill on his knees deep-throating his twin for days), plus they were already in some kind of shit with Melissa and her disgusting dad plotting against them. So, most definitely not all Tom's fault. But then again, he has a point, that if they hadn't fucked in the first place there'd have been no recording of that conversation, no trying to cover it up by Bill giving into Ralph's demands, no rape, no need for therapy, no meeting Max etc. etc. So, yeah, Tom sees his twin as a sacrificial lamb, and has determined that by changing their behaviour he can save Bill from having to lay himself down on the altar for a third time. Methinks Bill will have something to say about that, that his brush with death will make him that more determined to live the life he wants. Maybe. Maybe he'll see things Tom's way, be completely cowed by the experience and terrified to do anything that might lead him into future danger. We'll have to see. Thank you, as ever, for your uplifting words. We can only hope that WHEN the band's new album is released (sometime in the future...though they have promised this year) there will be an upsurge of interest and the site might pick up. As much as I moan about finding it hard to write these days I can't imagine life without THF. I've been a member for over 2 years and its literally become a part of my routine. And there is no way your writing reflects that you don't edit the shit out of every chapter. It all flows so well, and there are very few mistakes. I know a lot of writers on here churn out a chapter a week and sometimes more often but those chapters are usually only a couple of thousand words or less, unlike the 7-10000 you usually produce. IF I ever write anything else after GD I'm definitely breaking it up into shorter chapters, and writing from multiple POVs which I think will also help with chapter length, not having to tell things from each viewpoint at a time. For God's sake, one of my chapters was 17000 plus words because I couldn't decide where to break it! Okay, enough. I should put this stuff in an email really shouldn't I? What, I've rattled on long enough already and you don't want to hear more? I will write you again soon, though, because I still didn't answer your last one properly. Thanks again for the boost; I need to know someone's appreciating my hard work. Love and stuff, Helen x
Date: 09/22/13 09:10 pm Title: Chapter 1
we have one that we are trying to give away, the dog doesnt like her
Author's Response: We didn't get our cats until after our little dog had died because we didn't think he'd get along with other animals. We wouldn't get another dog now because our cats hiss and spit like gooduns whenever they see a friend's dog. This house is their territory and they ain't sharing it. Hope you find a good home for your kitty.
Date: 09/22/13 07:56 pm Title: Chapter 19
I love this so much I'm sobbing, thankyou so much
Author's Response: Oh, I'm sorry I made you cry. But I'm happy my writing affected you emotionally. Happy too that you're still reading and thank you for reviewing. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 09/19/13 09:19 pm Title: Chapter 19
I'm still here! To start, the description of Bill lying on the hospital bed was deliciously vivid, depressing, startling. All the bandages, tubes, being propped up on his side, the sounds...you put your readers right there with Tom, watching, waiting. And the opening dream sequence - another wonderful description, disturbing and surreal. With Bill's bobbing in the ocean of his own blood, eyes open and staring, unseeing, at the dark sky, and Tom floating, desperately trying to get to him. It was so full of despair and hopelessness. Nice tie-in with Bill's vision of floating on clouds, not a care in the world. Tom's hell vs. Bill's heaven - impressive. I am totally stressed out, though, about Tom's promises to never touch Bill again. After all the turmoil, it would be a very understandable reaction, but I hope his twin can talk some twincesty sense into him! And you're making me hate cops! (not ironic at all). So here we are, once again at a tense cliffhanger. I have decided to accept this and zen out, just being thankful for another beautifully written chapter. But I still want you to know I'm hoping for more SOOOOON!!! Kisses!
Author's Response: Hi there, so happy to get your review. I'm glad I've still got a couple of readers because there's really not been much response again. Is it boring because there's no sex? I can't exactly write any in at the moment with Bill lying at death's door. Tom's more interested in whether his twin will live, and in his decision that their sex life should end, so he's not even going to be jacking off in the hospital loo. Maybe its just plain boring, sex or no sex. I did wonder if all the medical info was a bit too much, but I wanted to show just how serious things were for Bill and how horrific it was for folks seeing him like that all wired and tubed up, and covered in bandages. Bill's pretty much oblivious, of course, floating on his cloud, so its the ones who love him who are suffering through his struggle for life. Tom's vow and determination that the sexual side of their relationship must end is a knee-jerk reaction to what's happened to his brother. To him it seems as if all the bad things that stalked them the last few months are a direct result of him sleeping with Bill...and it must be his fault since Bill managed to stay a virgin until Tom fucked him. Tom clearly has no self control, so he's to blame for not being able to control himself. That's how his distraught mind views things at the moment. But, he's made this decision unilaterally, so we've yet to see what Bill thinks of it...if...when he pulls through. I kind of know where this is going now, but that doesn't make the writing any easier. You make your stories appear so effortless while I seem to be sweating blood over every word lately. Still, I will not be beaten; next chapter is started and hopefully now DH has a few weeks work and will be out of the house, I'll have some time to myself. And I will spend them gainfully and write, write, write...maybe! Thanks as usual for still reading and taking the time to review. Love you tons, Helen x
Date: 09/18/13 03:31 pm Title: Chapter 1
the reason i asked was cause there is this semi famous kitty called Lil Bub. She is disabled. She has a bone disease and she is a dwarf, has 6 toes on each paw (all four) and she has no teeth, a under deformed jaw and her tongue sticks out cause of that. She has a book, a movie, and a internet talk show.
Author's Response: Hi again. I checked Lil Bub out and she's so cute. And she shares my birthday, June 21st. My kitties are pretty big, that's their breed, and they are brothers from the same litter but look quite different. Halo is a colourpoint with pale fur that has darker tips and he has blue eyes. Shadow is called a 'blue' but his fur is actually quite a dark grey and he has bright orange eyes. They are indoor cats as we live near 2 busy roads and once had a cat run down. So they don't go out at all, but have the run of the house and each other to play with. Do you have cats of your own?
Date: 09/17/13 11:29 pm Title: Chapter 19
its really great!!!! i missed it!!! i hope bill wake up soon ;) please go on and update soon :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the great review. I have started on the next chapter but no promises on timescale. Glad you're still reading and reviewing, hugs Helen x
Date: 09/17/13 09:37 pm Title: Chapter 19
I'm still reading!!!!! Nd I'm loving what I'm reading even if it is all sad poor bill and tom they just can't get a break!!! :((
Author's Response: Hi, happy you're still reading and loving it. You're right, seems like the world and his uncle have it in for those two boys. My fault...I don't write tend to write happy stories. Many thanks for taking the time to review, really appreciate it. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 09/17/13 09:30 pm Title: Chapter 19
please update ASAP!
im really on edge here
ohhh and do you like cats?
Author's Response: Working on the next chapter already. Glad its still gripping you. And yeah, I love cats. We have 2 British shorthairs, a blue called Shadow and a coloupoint called Halo. Why'd you ask?rnThanks muchly for reading and reviewing, hugs Helen x
Date: 09/17/13 08:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
Still fabulous, still reading, keep going!
Author's Response: I will; next chapter started but can't guarentee when it will be ready. Really happy you're still with me, and many thanks for taking time out to leave me a review. Greatly appreciated. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 09/08/13 03:28 pm Title: Chapter 18
I don't think you're supposed to give blood when you have drugs in your system...Hopefully the nurse will ask Tom and Tom will have the mindset to answer.
Author's Response: Hi there. Thanks for the advice. I hadn't considered that, but I've mentioned it in the next chapter. Its really hard to keep track of everything once a story's grown this long. Thanks again. Hope you're still enjoying it. Hugs, Helen x
Date: 08/27/13 03:05 pm Title: Chapter 18
Sorry - just another one from me. I forgot about Tom's promise to never touch Bill again if he lives. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Promises to any god at any time are a BAD DEAL. Let's smack Tom upside the head and tell him it doesn't count, and he'd better just get on top of his brother and start humping. Because Bill is really and truly never going to want any other man to touch him again in his life after this. And Bill is more important that some god. Kay.
Author's Response: Hi again. I'm not quite sure how I'll deal with this issue. I'm kind of torn, and I think it might depend on whether I decide to be stupid enough to write yet another sequel in the series. Actually, I've had the makings of a sequel in my head for some time, with several options, but throwing Tom's vow into the mix might actually assist one of the storylines I have swirling about in the empty space between my ears. And, you're right, of course, Bill won't ever, ever want anyone else touching him except Tom. If Tom keeps his vow of abstinence then Bill's going to be celibate for the rest of his life; but then again given what he's been through, he might prefer that. Okay, I'll leave it there. I've just started the next chapter, I know some of what's going to happen, but not the finer details so I'm waiting for some inspiration. Love and huggles, Helen x
Date: 08/27/13 12:25 pm Title: Chapter 18
Loved it loved it loved it! Starting out with Chas' pov - Jesus, what a twisted asshole! Doesn't matter that he's feeling guilty, he's probably just more worried about his own ass getting in trouble than the boys getting hurt! Too bad a stray bullet didn't hit him in the dick. And ricochet around and come out his butt. Okay anyway... Loved Max's last words to Bill! He's all worried about him, feeling guilty, scared he did it "again." Oops. And calling him a heartless little shit - that was sublime dark humor (um...humour... lol). And then Tom's race to get inside. It was amazing how his mind still managed to work once he was in and taking it slow instead of just running straight in. Worrying about the creaks on the staircase, keeping his back to the wall as survival instincts kicked in. Very nice. Finding Bill so close to death it was gurgling in his throat (a truly horrifying sound if you've ever had the bad luck to hear it). Refusing to release his baby brother to the paramedics - very gripping scene. As for Bill's pov - fine crafting there, Helen! It was tense and hard to read as you described what his body was going through - difficulty moving, fighting for consciousness every second, the slime and gore covering him, tasting the blood in his mouth, not being able to get enough air...I felt some serious sympathy pain for him. And then... "Oops." He falls to his knees, and gives in to the painless dark. Nooooooooooo!!! But THEN! Tom, to the rescue! Finally, finally, finally! He'd better have gotten there in time! Now I'm concerned about all the collateral damage, the years of emotional fall-out, the deep trauma. The events the boys have suffered through won't easily be shaken off, no matter how much they love and kiss each other better. But the healing can at least start. It might take longer without a counselor, but those two won't ever trust anyone but each other again, which is understandable. Maybe some Dr. Phil self-help books? : Okay, now save Bill's life, and get them to a quiet beach somewhere! You and your cliffhangers! *hugs the stuffing out of you*
Author's Response: As always, I love your reviews, so in depth and you make me think about what I've written every time. You have this knack of analysing my writing and then I realise that, yeah, now I come to think of it, that was going through my mind at the time, or that's exactly what I'd hoped would come across. With Chas I guess I was trying to redeem him a little by having him develop a conscience and try to apologise, but really, there's no excuse for what he did and if Tom hadn't had the little matter of Bill dying at his feet to deal with I'm pretty sure he'd have thumped the shit out of the guy. Of course, Tom had to take some of the blame, he didn't have to be such a hothead and act on Chas's suggestion, but he was in such a heightened state of tension and desperate to do something to save his brother, he wasn't in his right mind. Oh, I'm so glad Tom's change of tactics came across okay. I was a bit worried I wasn't being consistent, first having him breaking all records to get into the cabin and then taking things slowly once he was inside. But I could just see him racing like mad to get inside and then kind of standing in the kitchen, with it almost dark, not knowing where to go or what might be waiting for him, surrounded by the unfamilar shapes of furniture he couldn;t properly see, with the place completely silent and his self-preservation instincts kicking in, realising if he got shot within the first few seconds of entering the building he'd be absolutely no good to Bill. Thank you, thank you for your lovely compliments about Bill's pov, I'm so happy it came out like I wanted. And, oh, yeah, I had to have a little of Max's pov in there; had to give him some final twisted words. To tell the truth, I wrote this chapter in sections, a bit here, a bit there, and then pieced it together so I was afraid it might have come across like that...bitty. So it's good to hear that it hung together successfully as a whole. Actually, the aftermath is what I'm worried about. I know the twins won't just get over this in a few days, or weeks or even months, and I did have an ending chapter in my head, but I'm not sure I can still write it now. I've written myself into a corner, I guess, but we'll see how things work out. I'm going to go answer your second review now. I was wondering why you hadn't mentioned Tom's vow, I was sure you'd have something to say about it! LOL!!!