This is such an original story, Helen. It actually made me think of something; people get kidnapped and held hostage by their captor for years, people just like Max who form sick obsessions with the object of their affections and just can't stop themselves, or see it as right, somehow. It gives a very, eerily real feel to what's going on in the story. The vivid descriptions make me feel like I'm watching this in slow motion, proving your writing skills to be very articulate. I could see Bill vomiting when Max tried to kiss him, imagine the scents coming from the van, the distress and nausea he felt. God, it made my skin crawl. The suspense when Bill tried to escape and Max caught him with the gun had my mind reeling because I thought he actually stood a chance. Guess I was a bit to hopeful. The poor thing worrying over his brother being harmed and closing off his twin connection while crying himself to sleep, gagged and bound and naked, had me in tears. And poor Tom when the bag of clothes was discovered and thinking it was his Bill in there, chopped to pieces and dead. Thank goodness for Rachel keeping him rational. He needs to try to keep contacting Bill and Bill needs to think passed the fact that Tom is going after him alone, listen with their twinternet(I loved, loved that, btw) and get Tom to tell him what's going on, so that he knows there are experts with him. I can't wait until I get a moment to read the next chapter. This was excellent and terrifying and I want to know what happens next...NOW and I have to wait. Gahhhh. Real life. Why??? The thought of what Max is going to do to Bill has me absolutely beside myself. I can imagine Bill never wanting to leave his twin's bed is a very real thought for him at the moment. Such an awesome chapter, babe! Love you to bits!!!

Author's Response: Another awesome review...you almost convince me my writing is good! Sorry but things don't improve for Bill any time soon, and yeah, I think Max is one of those people thinks its okay to just take what he wants no matter what. I'm so happy the suspense and despair came across. Sorry I had you in tears but glad my writing managed to affect you that way. Thanks again for reading and taking your precious time to review. Love you too, sweetie. Hugs, Helen x

Oh noooo! Marvelous chapter!!! But, so nerve wracking...I wish I had time to just sit and finish this whole damn thing. I'm worried about Bill and I feel so sorry for Tom. The suspense is killing me and I can't wait until I get a chance for more. Good read, Helen! Love you!

Author's Response: Thank you, my friend. Your reviews mean so much to me. I'm glad you're getting the time to read it and happy you're enjoying it. Hugs, Helen x

Gah! I love how you get into their minds! All of Bill's fears, the physical reactions he has little control over, and his determination to get over the trauma and get on with his life, all summed up so nicely. And then there's Tom. Worry, worry, worry, worry, worry! That poor boy! He seems as fragile as Bill, fretting so much over his baby brother's emotional state. Yet he's such a sweetly simple boy; he wants Bill. He wants to have sex, he wants love and sex and snuggles and sex and pasta and sex. Yet he worries that he wants sex too much, that there's something wrong with him. No matter that he knows how his brother feels, no matter that he's in love with Bill and wants to be with him; he's thinking there's something wrong with getting a boner. If we could do some analysis on his constant worry, I suppose it's perfectly understandable. His brother had been horribly hurt and nearly murdered because of guys with boners. Boners are bad! And everything started on that downhill slope because of the twins' boners. No wonder Tom's so conflicted - he'd have a hard (umm..ha ha) time associating sex with something healthy and happy any time soon. Same with Bill. But Bill, at least, knows the healthy, happy part could be right around the corner, he's just got to jump in that cold lake and get used to the temperature again. He KNOWS the difference between bad sex and good sex now. Before the Max Terror, he was having a difficult time with that, but he's back on the right track. Tom's the one who's been a bit mixed up, worried that Bill + any boner = SOMETHING BAD! Nice segue into the beginning of their healing. I like that you didn't just make everything all better and happy simply because the ordeal is over. They're gonna have ISSUES, man! And you're showing this so well - just a delicate touch here and there. Bill's weaty palms. Tom's incessant worry. Love it. I'm not jonesing for the end to happen too quickly, surprise surprise. I'm not quite ready for it to be over!

Author's Response: Oh, my dear, I do love you analyses of my writing. I hope you know you see things in my stories I didn't even think of when writing them, at least not consciously, but when you point them out I realise that's just the way it should be read. Honestly my head is such a muddle I can't keep my thoughts straight enough to verbalise the ideas you seem to see so clearly. Anyway, I'm afraid you may be a little premature in thinking Bill's just going for it without his hang ups getting in the way. We get more of his POV in the next part and well...he still has serious issues. I'm hoping it will show how the twins need each other to heal properly. And yeah, Tom has big issues too. After all, not so long ago he was vowing total abstinance in order to keep Bill safe and now he's popping wood at the slightest touch and aching, just aching for the time he can do more than kiss and cuddle...and hell is he feeling conflicted over that. I love the Boners are bad comment. Basically I think he's simply terrified of saying or doing anything that will set Bill back and send him spiralling down into that crazy place he lived in for so long after what happened with Ralph. Plus now, of course, he has Bill's trauma from the kidnap and attempted murder to deal with and his own fears of losing his twin like he so nearly did only weeks before. So, yeah, if I'd just written them having sex with no consequences from the past few months it would have been totally unrealistic. There might well be 2 more parts to this chapter because it's still growing but (as usual) I'm editing the shit out of the next part right now and in essence the chapter is finished, except I keep thinking of more to add, and I might have to include a further scene right at the very end that's been battering at my brain for a day or two. After that...well, I've already started on the final chapter that I've actually had in mind since early on in the story. The story got way out of control, longer and going in directions I'd never originally intended, but eventually it will end up pretty much where I wanted it to go. I'm hoping to get the next part of this chapter posted by the end of the week whether that will be all of it or another section I don't know until it's finished. If its the entire thing then the next posting might be a while I finish of the final chapter; if its just another section of this chapter then the posting after that might be sooner and then there'll be a wait for the final one. Basically, GD is coming to an end and it might be within a week or two. I do have an idea for a sequel but I'll probably give it time to mature before I start in on it, and I really want to work on something else for a change. Thank you, thank you for always reading and for your deep insightful reviews. I love that you love my writing because you know I have no confidence in it myself. Love you too, hugs Helen x

cliffy
please update soon

Author's Response: Working on it. Hopefully by the end of the week. Fingers crossed. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Hugs, Helen x

I loved this chapter from the emotional beginning to the terrifying end with Max's dellusion and the hand-gun for the just-in-case. I felt so sorry for Tom when he had to admit another lie. But, it's no wonder Bill's emotions are so up and down and then, in turn, he also had to admit he'd flushed his meds. Depression can do that to a person, and in this situation, Bill deserves several good cries. I was so relieved that he forgave Tom, though, and quickly, turning on the kissing before the other startling discover that Raymond had the pendrive. It seems as though Bill's going to be confident enough to twist it away from him, I hope. This was such a good and emotional read. Oh, and the fact that Max used therapy to lead someone to suicide was also heart-breaking. You're such a good writer, Helen. I can see why it takes you a while to update. Good writing takes a lot of focus, especially when you get so involved in the characters of detailed stories like these. It really takes you out of the world of fan-fic and into the minds of those characters. They become so real, so vivid, it's like you can actually see and feel what's happening to them. I just hope Max's plan fails and I will be reading and reviewing the next chapter, asap!! Do not, I repeat...DO NOT stop writing this until the end...it's awesome. The end.

Author's Response: Hi yet again. And okay, I get it; you want me to keep writing. I will, I promise because where I am right now the end is in sight. Thank you for all the compliments, my head is all swelled after reading all those. I'm really hoping you enjoy the next couple of chapters because we get some real action. Thanks again for taking your precious time to read my story and to write a review. Love and hugs, Helen x

I read this chapter last night and haven't had a chance to review it yet. I loved it from beginning to end. All the conversing between the twins and Tom's pain over Max molesting Bill through therapy, making him think it would better his relationship. Bill's such a martyr here, the way he's just willing to go in and wear a wire to keep it from happening to countless others and Tom not wanting him to have to go at it alone.

I felt so bad for the both of them when Tom wanted the truth about what Max had done to him and had him do. But, I had to laugh when Bill took the therapy method and turned it on his brother. I love the way you write them in this fic. I also love that Bill isn't really worried as much about the possibility of that creep coming out to the media about him.

Oh, and I can't wait to read the next chapter when I get a chance. You are such an excellent writer, Helen, and I know I haven't nailed all the strong points of this chapter, but I'm really enjoying reading this again. I'll get to the next one ASAP. Promise!!! Oh, and don't give up on this story. It's truly amazing!!!

Author's Response: I'm trying to catch up on my reviews, so I'll keep this short and just thank you for reading and for taking time to review. Thank you for the lovely compliments. it helps so much knowing people enjoy my writing. You know I love you, big hugs, Helen x

Ahhhh ha ha ha ha!! Now I know my nagging will get you off your ass and writing, I'm going to start doing it a LOT MORE!!! Be prepared! I loved the internal conflict going on in this chapter, the depth you went to with what was going on in the boys' heads. I could perfectly see the awkwardness, the long pauses, while they debated with themselves, worried about what the other one was thinking and feeling. Being the dumb-ass boys they are by not just opening their mouths and talking. Finally, Bill did the right thing and just got to the exact point, and see? Everything turns out fine! Whew, what a relief! You wind everything up so tight in your story, making things as tense as can be, and then, there's a rush of the right things said at the right time, and a flood of peace to balance all that tension at last. You are very good at torturing your readers, but the reward is very satisfying! Now, Bill and Tom can finally be together, without all the non-communicative b.s. problems they caused themselves. There will undoubtably be some problems in their long term future (and I'm sure when Bill hears about his singing issues, he is going to have a total break-down), but now that they've finally broken down the wall between them, they'll be able to face any problems together. I'm so happy to be at the point where there's some relief from the torture, but of course, you remind us very well in this chapter that there could be more around the corner. Some very wrong people still know about the twins. And there could very easily be copies out there of the recording. So, I'm not completely relaxed, yet. Your famous cliffhangers are not out of the question. Shit....things could blow up all over again....

Author's Response: Sorry, sorry, sorry. I only just realised I hadn't responded to your review. Bad Helen, smack on the wrist and no dessert for you! I'm glad you enjoyed the internal conflict. I do worry that I write too much about thoughts and feelings and then I'm so slow at moving the action forward. I don't know why but I always feel like I need to explain in full the intent behind every action. That's why Bill finally had to just come out and say something. They were both so stuck in their own heads it was getting them nowhere and he was sick of pussy-footing about. I think (hope) there'll be more to that side of him in the next chapter (which I am working on, promise). There will still be lots of problems for them to deal with in the future, I'm sure, but those might well be for another sequel. I think they need some relief from the drama for a bit. But then again the fallout might not be over yet. See what I did there? Got you to relax a bit and then threw in a wobbler? Anyway, we'll have to see. I'm hoping that the next chapter will be twins reconnecting and it might well be the last one. If not then there'll just be an epilogue to follow. Anything more will definitely be for another story. Thank you for faithfully reading and reviewing, and once again sorry for forgetting to reply. Hugs, Helen x

yw
guess what?
i am on a new medication that is helping. I dont feel foggy anymore

Author's Response: I'm really pleased for you. Does that mean you might start writing again?

That's it! I keep telling myself I won't read another chapter. I can't take the pain the twins are suffering, but I keep coming back to see if it will all work out. Great writing. Well done.

Author's Response: Sorry I've caused you so much anxiety but thank you for continuing to read and for leaving a review. Let's hope things will get better for our twins from now on. Happy New Year, hope you have a great 2014. Love, Helen x

thank you for the update
and Merry Christmas

Author's Response: You're welcome. Merry Christmas to you, too, and every happiness in 2014. Hugs, Helen x