Date: 06/03/12 06:07 pm Title: Darkness
Interesting start (though I'm not sure that's the correct word to use in this case). Poor Bill... I guess it'll be a rough ride from now on.
Date: 05/31/12 12:04 pm Title: Darkness
I came here and drop some love for the non-con/rape warning
Date: 05/30/12 01:00 am Title: Darkness
Poor Bill! I feel like he's been hurt so much, and Gordon's going to make him worse. I think it's realistic how the changes happened slowly, because sometimes you get really depressed or down and you're like "Whoa, how did I fall this far? Didn't even notice. I guess little by little..."
It's not that bad for being un-betaed. I hope things look up for poor Bill! Maybe his brother can save him somehow.
Date: 05/30/12 12:54 am Title: Darkness
you're confusing me a bit here. Your writing is a bit disoriented. I get the plot, but you leave some of your points incomplete. And you tend to have redundant statements. But I like the story you're trying to build. It just needs editing.