Date: 05/13/12 04:45 pm Title: Interrogations
Good story! Please write more!
Date: 05/11/12 11:09 pm Title: Prologue - Influx
maybe for interrogations,you should allow Kira to have a another nightmare of the monster, bill:D
Date: 05/11/12 11:07 pm Title: Interrogations
Amazing:D
Date: 05/10/12 02:24 am Title: Interrogations
What type of supernatural being is he? hahaha... waiting for your update :)
Date: 05/09/12 11:53 am Title: Interrogations
please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease update soooon :)
really really cant wait for moooore :)
Date: 05/09/12 04:18 am Title: Poison Invasion
interesting:D
Date: 05/06/12 03:24 am Title: Poison Invasion
Ok... I really like this story and the plot however sometimes the words you use like imbibed are kind of strange, I don't think I have ever read a book or stroy that the author has chosen to use this word for drink or sip, it's a little awkword. I commend you on trying to use different words and adjectives to describe things though. I realize create means to make but I don't think it is used well for making coffee because Bill isn't creating the coffee. Create would be used better if he were painting or sewing clothes. Just pay attention to the flow of the description and character development as apposed to using synonyms and rarely used adjectives like imbibed. Think about conversations and the words you use when you talk to your friends about things and maybe that will make it easer.
You're doing really well and keep going. The writing is getting better with every chapter you post so please don't think I'm picking you apart. Every story you write will be easer from now on. Great job and I can't wait to read more :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your advice! It will help me a lot for the upcoming chapters. I'm sorry for all the errors. I'll try my very best improving the story :)
Date: 05/05/12 04:38 pm Title: Poison Invasion
cant wait for mooooore :)
please update soooon :)
Date: 05/04/12 08:58 pm Title: First Impression
Nice story :) I can't wait to read what happens next; please update soon :)
Date: 05/04/12 08:47 pm Title: The Visitor
I'm very intrigued :)
Date: 05/04/12 08:37 pm Title: Prologue - Influx
Great beginning! I feel really drawn into the story :) Now I'll be off to read the new chapter.
Date: 05/04/12 05:56 pm Title: First Impression
really really cant wait for another chapter :)
i am in love with this story :)
keep up the goood work :)
update really really soooon :)
Date: 05/04/12 01:05 am Title: The Visitor
It's interesting. Bill is curious and I like that. I feel like it jumped a bit and maybe more detail is needed but you're doing well. Don't stop ok. Keep going and it will get better and better.
Date: 05/03/12 07:26 pm Title: Prologue - Influx
It's good! Update please :)
Date: 05/03/12 03:16 pm Title: The Visitor
cant wait for mooooore :)
please update soooon :)
really really cant wait :)