Date: 05/01/12 02:45 am Title: 5. Pawn takes Queen
Enjoyed it I did! This chapter gave insight into the different facets of Bu and Bill's relationship.
Author's Response: "Different facets." Yes, we can call it that (laffin). Glad you're letting me know you like it, thanks!!!
Date: 05/01/12 02:29 am Title: 4. Let the Festivities Begin
This chapter had so many hilarious and bizarre moments! I loved the story about Bill smoking pot that one time, only the one time.
Bill is really adorable and he's got such issues. Tom continues to be an awesome character. :)
Author's Response: A box of dry cake mix....pot makes for some straaaange appetites. Thanks for letting me know the characters are coming out, they all wanted to hide in their little shells when I first started, had to coax them a little :D
Date: 05/01/12 01:04 am Title: 3. On her Majesty's Secret Servicing
So now I'm really getting the feeling that Bill's head is in outer space or something. Does he have ADD and delusion? I'm one of those people who makes everything medical, don't mind me. Maybe Bill's just one of those weirdos.
I like the dash of G's at the end of the chapter! Tom is my favorite character so far!
Author's Response: Oh lord, I'm laughing. I don't know what's wrong with this Bill! He has issues! But I love your way of wrapping it up: "Maybe Bill's just one of those weirdos." That is PERFECT! rnSo glad you like the G's, I want them over the top! rnrnP.s. I like this Tom, too!rnrnThanks for all your reviewes, Melluransa!
Date: 04/25/12 02:40 pm Title: 4. Let the Festivities Begin
So sorry I haven't been reading and reviewing. I've been super busy working on my own stuff, but also famiy business. Plus for some reason I haven't been receiving notices of updates, so I was really surprised to check this out and find you were already at chapter 4. I was going to comment after chapter 3 but went on to read the new chappie and most of the points I'd been going to make had been addressed...like Bill's obvious attraction to his twin, the way he fantasises either about fucking or being fucked by Tom. Or is he just having an identity crisis and so in love with himself he actually wants to fuck himself? And being forced into it is what he feels he does to Tom when he's drunk. I think Tom just really wants brotherly love from his twin, but maybe in the past he's allowed Bill to touch him inappropriately because its the only form of affection he gets from his twin. So sad that Bill is so competative for attention, understandable with the parents the twins had. He's clearly been abused at some stage, and that's another reason he can only show love through sexual contact. Also, that's probably why Bill's so good at suppressing his emotions and why his brain switches off when he doesn't want to face something. He's learned to disassociate himself from anything he doesn't like or understand. And on to Bushido. The man is a saint with Bill and I think he really does care for him. It's no surprise he'd also be atracted to Tom, but I'm really hoping he doesn't go there. I don't think Bill would ever recover and some might think that he deserves it for his bitchiness but I think he's really fragile under that facade he lives behind. Okay, I'm not sure if any of that makes sense because I'm still trying to sift through all my thoughts and feelings. Oh, and I guess I didn't even say how good this is. I love it. You always make your characters so detailed and believable. Now I'm wondering just how Bushido's going to deal with Bill in the morning.
Author's Response: AHHH! Helen! What a wonderfully insightful review! Glad you were able to take a few to do this, I know you've been busy. First, that Bill is really a narcissist who wants to fuck himself? Well, well, well.....the story WAS going to be titled Queen Narcissus. Nice call! I'm thinking that's where a lot of his issues lie. Maybe drunken sexual attention is all Bill feels safe giving to Tom, because any other kind of affection would be too hard for him, because he feels so much stress about Tom being around at all. About being possibly abused as a child, that's a very interesting angle, and would explain a lot, and fits in with Bill's behaviors. But that might be a little dark for this story, because this Bill always just came across to me as someone desperate for attention, desperate to be special, and wanting to be the only person in the universe who matters, period. That equals huge insecurities, control issues, and a definite ability to live in the land of make-believe. rnI too am wondering how Bushido's going to deal with Queenie in the morning! He hasn't quite told me yet. rnrnThanks again for taking the time for my story and for the review, I know you've been working so hard on your own work!
Date: 04/25/12 05:21 am Title: 4. Let the Festivities Begin
One gets away, like normal people, for a few days on the slopes and one gets back and finds this story in full bloom. You have been working behind my back. Never mind, it will be more to read in one go...
So. Im in for a royal treat. I loved the chapters titles and it seems like this is just the beginning, if i read them carefully.
This story started a bit too descriptive, you have never done this before, but as i was reading more, it unfolded itself beautifully.
I absolutely have a crush on how everybody, even Bu, calls Bill Queen. Except Tom.
He is the only one who sees Bill for who he really is. I didnt get it at first, but now I see it clearly.
my favourite moment was when, in the car, bu and Tom were contemplating kissing (or whatever it was...) That was a cinematographic moment!! I could see it perfectly. Wow.
And my favourite line:
He cleared his throat. Brother’s boyfriend. Right.
This almost sums this Tom up for me. For the moment.
I dont get how Bushido didnt know about Tom, seeing that he was around Gordon since the boys were about 14 and Gordon having two kids would of been public knowledge, but its ok, its your story.
Nice to read you again and im awaiting for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Lovely, lovely review, thank you! And I hope your little respite was enjoyable. Welcome back.rnrnI am doing a lot of descriptive writing in this one, in part because I need that to reveal who the characters are and what they're thinking. And, because they're so much more complex than any I've written before, this takes a lot more time to reveal, it has to be sort of woven in, like tapestry. I'm so glad you're paying attention! That last chapter was a doozy, but was a lot of fun to write, so I'm happy that you're enjoying it with me.rnrnAs for Tom being the only one who sees how Bill is, I think poor Tom sees a damaged side of Bill that only pertains to him. Nobody threatens Bill like his twin, so there's no reason to act like a fricken lunatic with anyone else. And the reason Bu didn't know who Tom was, it's pretty easy, but it'll be explained in the story. Bill was very determined to keep Tom out of his life. And I don't think Bu and Gordon were chumsy or worked together a lot. But I'll get a little more into that so everyone's not going, "HEY, wait a minute!!" No plot holes, those suck.rnrnI loved that last scene with Bu/Tom! Soooo delicious. It may be jumping the gun with those two, but hey, sexual attraction crops up when and where it's going to, ya know?rnrnThanks again for such a great review!
Date: 04/24/12 03:44 pm Title: 4. Let the Festivities Begin
Whew, it took me half an hour to read this chapter :-D You're a tireless writer. It was a wonderful dinner. Drunk Bill is cute freaky creature :D His imagination is truly amazing. He translates everything into live images. Troy, Tony, Trevor enjoyed his moment :-D Bushido is so patient with Bill. I would have killed him long ago. :-D Relationship between twins is really very special. I look forward to next chapter next week.
So... many errors in it, now I don't have any help with English as yesterday (my friend green_and_blue), so you must decipher it. :-D Good luck!
By the way :-D, say hi to your czech grandmother: Ahoj babi! ;-D
Author's Response: Interesting review, Janule! I like how you put Bill's working mind: "translates everything into live images." Nicely put! I think Bushido is so good with Bill because he's not a target for him, so Bu can stay out of his issues. There would be some trouble if Bill ever starts in on Bu.......rnYour English is just fine, I have no problems understanding you. And I will definitely say ahoj babi to her! rnThanks for writing, I know it takes a little extra work for you, so it's much appreciated!
Date: 04/24/12 01:28 pm Title: 3. On her Majesty's Secret Servicing
Mirror Image is the best. But it would take a week to read all the chapters :D
Margo, dear... Bill is... um... I have no idea what possibly made him so alienated from Tom from the beginning of their childhood. Attracted way over his head and in denial to be able to handle his violent attraction towards his twin. He’s so screwed up and it’s a pity no one has ever addressed it and maybe he’d been a normally functioning person around Tom and several other people :D
I find it interesting that Bill was coming on to his brother at an early age. Maybe his attraction to Tom and the lack of a sexual development is the main cause to his weird assumptions regarding Tom. That he tries to make Tom the issue – but if what I have no idea. Bill’s a lunatic when he refuses to listen to Tom and try and make Tom something that was out to life to make Bill’s life miserable. All he has to do is try to pay attention to Tom and it’s simply not a variable to Bill.
I’m deliciously confused and hope to get a better idea in the next chapter.
Tom is simply wonderful, and the G's were really fun :)
Author's Response: Poor Bill.....well, to clear things up a little bit, he's just always been extremely threatened by Tom's presence. In a household where you're ignored by the parents, any competition at all is a terrifying thing. He just never wanted Tom around, so he tries so hard to alienate him. He doesn't want a brother, let alone a twin, let alone an IDENTICAL twin, so he tries to lessen the threat by telling himself all those lies about him. The sex part is probably the healthiest feelings he has for his twin! His warped ideas came around way before he had a sex drive to contend with. He wanted to be a single bright star, someone special. Having a twin sort of ruins it for him. Poor kid. Hope this helped a little, and we'll be seeing more of Bill's issues in the future!rnrnI'm glad you liked the G's - I know there are a LOT of G fans out there, so I decided to give them a bit of quality time. rnrnMore to come (in a few days, anyway ) Thanks, as always, for writing!
Date: 04/24/12 01:25 pm Title: 2. Prince of the Blood
Thank you for this! Wow, you update fast at the moment. I can barely keep up Tom handled himself really well. I loved how he knew what Bushido was thinking so he thought ahead and hid his face knowing Bushido was confused at trying to figure out the connection. Tom felt outrageously sexy to me the way you described him, so I can’t wait to read more about him.
Bill and Gordon were a sight to behold during that breakfast. Bitching at each other and sharing the meal at the same time. *g* It’s very entertaining.
Author's Response: Thanks, MD-E! I'm liking this Tom, too, he's a bit shy at showing himself to me, but he'll reveal himself a little at a time. And Bill and Gordon's chemistry - I'm thinking Bill gets along better with him than anyone else! He certainly has way too many issues with poor Tom to feel too chumsy. Glad you're reading and letting me know your thoughts!
Date: 04/24/12 10:40 am Title: 4. Let the Festivities Begin
I love the story and plot
But one thing I gotta say in the first chapter and also the way women are portrayed especially the twins's mom. She appears to be a bad woman but hey how would u react discovering ur husband only needed a womb to have children and don't desire u sexually ? It hurts, more than we can say. Normal she's having lovers
It really bothers me this kind od attempt at women. Even if gay men choose to be gay without a woman carrying them in her womb, and suffering to bring them to the world, they wouldn't be able to enjoy being taken by the ass. so a little respect. Its'all i had to say about the bugging thing for the rest Bill is a mess and only living as a pretender.. I guess that's what he really is
Author's Response: Interesting review, Callypyge. First, I have to say I'm not trying to put women down. Women do that enough to themselves as it is! I'm just doing character studies. This is how human beings work: we're fucked up. Most of us are injured, damaged, hurt, angry, and very, very selfish. The twin's dad in this story obviously did what most men of his generation did: get married, have kids. He struggled to HIDE being gay, forcing himself to play the roll of a straight man, denying himself any happiness, being what other people demanded he be in society. It's still hard for gays now! Try to imagine what it was like 25 years ago! I don't think he wanted a "womb" - babies are just the afterthought of sex. That's pretty much it for most people. And plenty of couples have sex even though they're not sexually attracted to one another. As for a woman carrying a baby and "suffering to bring them to the world"......that is a CHOICE. They aren't forced to get knocked up. The twins' mom could have used birth control or had an abortion. People claim "victim" far too much when they've actually had plenty of say in the matter. A true victim does not. And for the woman portrayed in the first chapter, she's a music video channel hostess. Not a whole heck of a lot going on there. Big boobs, big hair. Sure, okay, maybe she volunteers to feed old blind orphans in her spare time. But, really??! Most people aren't that complicated. She's just a chick. Human (for all intents and purposes of the story, anyway), flawed, pretty basic. rnrnI'm glad you like the story and spend the time telling me your thoughts. I read the review, contemplated what you were saying, and this is my response, ta da! Have fun with the rest of the story, and as for Bill being a pretender (issues, Callypyge?), I think in this case, it definitely IS more complicated than that. Hope to read more from you soon!
Date: 04/23/12 08:12 pm Title: 3. On her Majesty's Secret Servicing
well this Bill is really messed up in da head
Very interesting chapter doll and we can see the plot right now
Author's Response: Hello, Callypyge, glad to know you're back! Yes, Bill is a little bit not quite right. Thanks for joining me on another fun ride, hope you enjoy it!
Date: 04/23/12 05:19 pm Title: 3. On her Majesty's Secret Servicing
Hi Margo! Thanks for your warm welcome! :-) I sometimes manage to hoodwink translator, because I know how it sounds translated from English into Czech. So sometimes I just barely manage to compose something good in English. This will be the exception, of course. :-D
So... Queenie is in love with his twin brother, right? He can not admit it himself, so he does everything to suppress it. He is an amazing character, however. I'm incredibly looking forward to their dinner. Bushido is for a surprise! :-D
PS: I guess I know what we have in common ;-)
Author's Response: Hello again Janule - your English is coming through loud and clear. I'm wondering the same thing about Bill...in love with Tom? Maybe. His emotions where his twin is concerned are pretty complicated. The dinner is coming up. And I'm hoping you guessed what we have in common! That's right, my grandmother is Czech! No, no, not just that ;)
Date: 04/23/12 02:00 am Title: 3. On her Majesty's Secret Servicing
Okay, Bill is a fucking nutcase! I mean are his feet ever going to touch the floor? And the comedy you've laced throughout these first chapters is absolutely hilarious. I can't wait to see where you take these characters because so far they seem a little flat (for lack of a better word) with the exception of Tom and I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I just think in this story you are introducing the characters in a more one-dimensional aspect at least initially before you set up the arc in an effort to really drive the point home. One thing I've wanted to ask you about since the "Fog" stories was about the way you incorporate fashion/style in your writing. I wanted to know if all of your references regarding clothes and labels (designers) were just extreme attention to detail and research or if you have a genuine interest in fashion? I only ask because when you write about a character you take great measure to really paint a picture through wardrobe which I really appreciate. You’re not just dropping designer names either; you really understand how an item of clothing should be worn with regard to each character. I can’t express how much I love the fact that you make the effort to really make the clothes a character as well, at least that’s how it feels to me when I read you work- I get fashion highs often while reading. I can’t wait for the next chapter and a million thanks for writing my favorite pairing –Bill and Bu because it’s so hard to find good slash nowadays, I feel as though the site has been taken over by a lot Het lately. No shade to all the Het writers, it’s just not my cup of tea. :)
Author's Response: Hello, Minibar, it's wonderful to hear from you again! I love this long, detailed review and critique - it's made me really think about the writing of this story and how it's coming across. First, thank you for noting the comedy, I've been having lots of giggles with this one. Second, for the clothes - I love fashion and clothes and cute shoes and I love putting together funky outfits. But I am not, never have been, never will be a name brand conscious person. Three hundred bucks for a button down shirt?? Absurd! Capitalist waste! Twenty grand for a fricken WATCH??? Oh lord, someone doesn't need to be rich. However, that said, Fog and this story are about gay men with money, and gay men with money are very particular (at least, mine are) about what they wear. So, I do the research, putting together how I want them to come across. Clothes are important, name brand or not, it's what we're saying to the world. It's so wonderful to know that you paid attention to the details that I paid attention to, and to know you're appreciating the fashions, thank you! rnrnAs for the flatness of the characters.....let's see, how can I explain this....it's not done exactly on purpose, but it is. I start with an idea and let the story just come out. This one, the characters are being a bit shifty. I have a feeling they don't want to reveal themselves too soon (Bill is turning into a real surprise, even for me, and I'm the one writing the story! MY idea was that he was going to be a true, clinical narcissist, but as I write, he's ignoring me, and just coming out as more of a "fucking nutcase." It's really a blast. Bu is slow, too....his little secrets, he kept close to the heart, like being a total Fire Island flamer. I laughed when that came out!). So, I was aware of the flat start, but also knew that the boys will start opening like the flowers they are. rnrnAnd, for the stories on here becoming more het....NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Say it ain't so! I HATE HET!! The entire reason I'm on this site is for all the kissy boys! I hadn't noticed because I just spent a few weeks devouring Mirror Image, and then re-read Cupid's Chokehold, and I'm working on Keeping up Appearances, so I haven't looked for new ones. Plus I'm waiting for updates by Leichenwasser and Mohanrocks, who have disappeared. I need my gay love stories!!rnrnI love, love, love Billshido. I think I've read all the really good ones, but, since you like them too, if you have any recommendations, please let me know! (I do hope you've read King of Kingz....)rnrnThanks again for such a wonderful review, looking forward to more!
Date: 04/22/12 06:37 pm Title: 1. All Hail the Queen
I really like your style of writing :)
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to let me know, TSF!
Date: 04/22/12 06:34 pm Title: 1. All Hail the Queen
This story is really interesting, i'm loving it already! I can't wait to read the next chapter! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It makes me feel very relieved to hear that it caught your attention right away, I was worried it started out a bit jerky. Working on more, can't wait to read more of your comments :)
Date: 04/22/12 01:56 pm Title: 2. Prince of the Blood
This is an amazing idea. I like this. Although I don't like Billshido so much, you have an incredible ability to catch me on the story and plot. I'm sorry, my English is translation of the Translator :-D, so I'll hope you understand me. J. :o)
Author's Response: Ahoj, Janule! (I checked your profile to see where you're from, glad you put it in there! We have a couple things in common!). Your English is actually pretty damned good. It's fantastic that you're sending reviews, even though you worry about the translations. If you have any questions about anything in my story/stories, please just send me an e-mail, I would be more than happy to explain anything you need cleared up. Thanks for taking the effort to review, I'm happy to hear you like the story, and hope to talk soon!
Date: 04/22/12 12:17 pm Title: 2. Prince of the Blood
Tom's cool! Gordon and Bill are hilarious! I can see how Tom wouldn't fit in with them though. Tom's more mellow, I can tell. I love your characters!
Author's Response: I am kind of liking this Tom, too - my other stories kind of had him a bit on the rough side, so it's fun to make him laid back. Thinking that's why his super tense brother may not get on with him so well. And thank you, I'm so glad you like them!
Date: 04/22/12 12:07 pm Title: 1. All Hail the Queen
I love Bill and Bu's relationship dynamic.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Date: 04/22/12 09:27 am Title: 2. Prince of the Blood
I like this story, I want to know what it is that is between Bill and Tom. I can't wait until the next chapter
Author's Response: Thank you, glad you're liking it! Getting the next one up today :D
Date: 04/22/12 06:52 am Title: 2. Prince of the Blood
Well, you most certeinly surprised me, this look so different from what you wrote before, especially in Bill's characterization. But your stories are always intriguing, and I' m already stuck with it. Hope to read more soon and understand what is going on between Bill and Tom. Thank you for sharing!
Author's Response: First two chapters are free! Once you're addicted, you're aaaallll mine! As for understanding the issues between Bill and Tom, I'm not even sure I have that worked out myself! Grazi!
Date: 04/21/12 10:28 am Title: 1. All Hail the Queen
Good start. I can't wait to meet the black sheep of the family. Just wondering what Tom has done that he doesn't fit into Bill's perception of the world.
I thought you were going to do a Tom/Bushido, but I guess this isn't it?
I'm very intrigued by the relationship between Bill and Bu. It's a convenient 'marriage' They're together because of the perks, not because they have feelings for each other other than a very active sexual drive.
It fits Bill's latest quote from Charles Bukowski: "I don't hate people, I just feel better when they aren't around." Someone pissed him off this week... ;)
Back to you. I look forward to Bill's little get together with his dad.
Author's Response: Why thank you! Tom may not fit into Bill's perception of his ego. And Tomshido?.....waaaiiit foooor iiiit......rnCute quote of a quote of a quote. I can definitely understand that from someone who is never, ever left alone when he's out in public. rnrnBill and Da, coming up!