This chapter was intense, and I loved it. Bill is obviously traumatized by what happened, and it's good that it's not completely bottled up inside him anymore. I don't think he's ever really or truly dealt with it before, and now after all these years of trying to pretend it didn't happen, it's overwhelming for him as it comes back to the surface and as reality crashes down. Fortunately, he has a great support system, and no one is giving up on him. He is the greatest danger to himself.

Tom has been the sweetest brother, too. He is clearly very protective, but he really seems to do what is best for Bill and knows how to put his foot down. Eventually, Bill will be incredibly grateful. He just has so much on his plate and is good at ignoring his problems. Tom knows this and will force Bill to work on his issues.

And Adam is a trooper. It would be so hard to watch someone falling apart, I'm sure. It always amazes me how some people are still ready to catch you when you fall despite all of the baggage. But I guess some people are just truly great. I loved this chapter! (And I will check my email soon...it's not my usual one so I tend to forget...*guilty*...)

Author's Response: Let me begin by saying how truly touched I am about this review. This has been a very, very difficult week for me and I think some of it has shown through my writing. I know there are a lot of mistakes in this because I barely even re-read it! Thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much it means to me.rnrnYeah, there is a lot of trauma going on with Bill and continues to play out after all the years he's kept this secret so bottled up. And he does have a wonderful team of people on his side helping him. Adam is only going to get better with time and there are a few more surprises I am working on with that in coming chapters.rnrnWith great love, comes great challenges, I believe, as no relationship is perfect. And, yes, like always, Tom will do whatever it takes to protect his twin. He's been his main support system for so long, but is relieved and thankful for the others around who help him with all the stress of their situation. rnrnI'll tell you again just how much this review means to me because of how you really brought out the strong points of what you liked and how you feel and I did work very hard on getting it down. Thank you, again.rnrnTake your time with the email. I'm in no rush and have a great weekend, sweetie!!! I've got the next chapter in the works!

I really liked this chapter. It's clear that both Bill and Tom need help...wth different things obviously. But it's really hard to know how to help someone on your own which is why Tom needs some guidance. He's very understanding which I love! And Bill isn't trying to intentionally hurt anyone so I'm glad Tom can recognize that. I'm just really loving this story. I'm on vacation and not looking at the internet much but I wanted to comment before I forgot!!!!

Author's Response: Thanks, as always, for being a faithful reviewer! Have a great time on vacation and that'll help will come in time. Thanks again!!rn

Adam must be completey smitten to know about Bill's eating disorder and to be faced with his frightening panic attack and to still want to stick around when they've known each other for such a short time. Plus he has Tom's protectiveness to contend with. Brave man dealing with those twins. Oh, but I do love him for that. He's amazing and will be so good for Bill. The scene between Tom and Bill was harrowing. The distress and pain radiated from both of them. Tom was so understanding that Bill was lashing out at him because he hurt so badly and suddenly his barriers were being torn down. And poor Tom trying to help his twin through such a traumatic revelation when he was dying inside himself on two fronts, that Bill had suffered so badly and kept it hidden for so long, and that it was his father was the perpetrator. Having Bill rail on him about having an easier life must've been agony for Tom. I was surprised at Anita's reaction to Tom asking her to lay off asking Bill about his past. I know she's straight-talking but I thought she was a little harsh, not exactly caring, but then she can see that Tom is enabling his brother's behaviour to continue. It was interesting to see the others' reactions to Bill and Adam cuddling and kissing, especially Gustav's. I'm glad he and Tom made up, and Bill does realise what effect his behaviour has on those around him, even though his inner voices taunt him about how they want him to lose control. And that sex talk with Adam, Tom going all big brother and questioning Adam's intentions towards his little brother. I'm sure Adam's not going to stop probing until he knows exactly what's doing with Bill. I'm so hoping that between Tom and Adam, with the help of everyone else, Bill will be able to open up about his ordeal and from that he can start healing. And so can Tom. Such a very sad chapter, but written so realistically. I'm so happy you started writing this story again. Love and hugs, Helen x

Author's Response: Adam is pretty floored by Bill and I will write more of that into the next chapter. I want to include the photoshoot and such. I didn't know if I overdid some of this chapter, but I'm glad you liked it. It was not easy to write and, again, you've touched on the points I was trying to make. It is very hard to see everything in a story from everyone's perspective and not just focus on the main characters, but I think I may have nailed it, especially how everyone feels about Bill's ED and his budding relationship with Adam. You'll just have to find out how everything comes full circle with Adam and a couple of the others. When I started writing this, I had no idea where it was going to end up and I certainly didn't expect it to be an over-protective sex talk with the new boyfriend, lol. Thank you so much for staying with me on this. I'm glad I started writing it again, too.

I love how you worded this chapter. I am not educated on eating disorders at all, but after reading the first 2 chapters I can understand a little better. Can't wait to read what's next. P.s. I love how you snuck the egg drop soup in. ;)

Author's Response: And I love you and I love this review! Thank you for reading this. It means so much to me that you would take the time to do that and try and understand something so personal. Thank you again and I can't wait for you to read the next chapter!!

My God this was one incredible chapter, so much in it. So much drama, so much love and caring. I know Bill doesn't appreciate it, but he one lucky man; he has so many people who care about him, so much love coming his way from his twin and his friends (with the exception of Gustav at the moment - God will he ever forgive Tom for punching him?). And they're sticking with him despite his crap attitude and the insults he throws at them. Trouble is, I think he could actually benefit from more people like Gustav telling him a few home truths. Everyone is so scared of upsetting him they're all pussy footing around so he's getting away with things that are detrimental to his health. Of course, now Anita's on the case he'll get away with less but she can't be there all the time and he can still manage to fool the others so he can throw up and swallow his hidden laxatives. I'm thinking that him going into a facility where he can't get access to pills or escape prying eyes might be the only way for him to recover, but that would tear Tom apart and Bill would see it as the ultimate betrayal...especially after Tom reading the diary pages. Poor, poor Tom. If he really idolised his dad reading Simone's words was a double blow for him, that his twin had suffered so horribly and that the perpetrator was his beloved father. I can only imagine the scene when Bill gets back, both his outrage at Tom invading his privacy and the heartbreak for both twins over what happened and how Bill has kept it secret for so many years. The lighter moments in this chapter were Bill with Adam. I love how you write Adam, so caring and understanding while not accepting lies from Bill. And that first kiss. Just lovely. Oh, I hope so much that Adam and Tom together, two men who love Bill the most (let's face it, Adam's already fallen for him), can save Bill from his demons. This was such a rollercoaster ride of a chapter with its ups and downs. And you describe everything so accurately, Bill's state of mind but also how awful and confusing it is for everyone around him. I'm just happy that Tom has Anita to turn to; he's going to need her even more now. Can't wait for the next chapter and that confrontation.

Author's Response: I love how you can pick out all of the strong points of this story. I'm not so sure how I'm going to write the confrontation right now. I know I will have more Bill/Adam moments in the next chapter and hopefully together, they can come to a point of bringing Bill into realization that he is beautiful. Just not sure where it's going at the moment, but we'll see where my mind takes me. I want Anita to be strong in this, especially with her own personal back story. If you remember back during the funeral, all Tom wanted was for Jorg to be there. I'm going to write more of Simone's diary into this. There'll be about two more pages talking about it and the decisions she's had to make to protect her children. I want to write in her own devastation over this. Adam has to be strong, too. He's not going to accept the lies from Bill and they already have a deep connection, so he'll know what do as if it comes naturally. Thank you again for this wonderful review. I'm glad you liked the kiss. What do you think about the romance so far? Just curious on how I'm doing because I want to explore that side of my writing because my next fic will definitely be an angsty romance. I'm so glad you're sticking with me here. I love you!!! Thanks, thanks, thanks again!

So happy to see this update. It was hard to read though. So much pain, and I don't mean just the physical stuff Bill's going through, but also the demons taunting him and the internal battle raging within him. And then there's so much anguish for Tom and everyone who cares about him. Well, except Gustav, but then he's fretting over Tom. I actually really like that you made Gus unsympathetic, it shows the truth of how divisive something like this can be. I also love that Adam knows nothing about Bill's condition beyond the hints Tom gave him. I'm wondering how he's going to find out if Bill's intent on lying to him and covering up; will Tom tell and if he does will Bill ever, ever forgive him? It will also be interesting to see things from an outsider's viewpoint since everyone else around Bill has already gone through a lot with him, and will Bill want to make improvements for Adam as they grow closer or will he come to see him as another threat to his ability to keep his secrets? The medical procedures were harrowing, and I could feel Bill's panic when that take-charge therapist went through his things. I'm feeling sadder and sadder for Bill because its becoming obvious that his issues with food and his weight are masking something much deeper that he's also trying to protect Tom from. The problem is the harder he tries to control things so Tom won't find out, the more he hurts his twin with his behaviour. Seriously, sweetie, you have written the whole conflict so well, so realsitically which is why its so painful to read. Another excellent chapter. Hugs, Helen x

Author's Response: Thanks, as always. I think I wrote the voices in because that's something else about EDs, I don't think it's ever just your own voice driving you. And the mirror always plays tricks because of the distorted image that's already in the sufferer's mind. I'm not quite sure yet how it's all going to surface with Adam, yet. I will reveal more in the next chapter. I was just really emotional when I wrote this one. Oh, and the conflict with Gustav just came out of nowhere. I don't want to make this a one-sided story where nobody is being objective or looking passed pitying Bill. I wanted to show the other side of how it makes friends and loved ones feel. Thanks again for your faithful reviews. Really helps this thing move along.

You're welcome, sweetie, and you're pretty awesome yourself. You did really good with this chapter after such a long break from writing. You just picked up right from where you left off and it all came together so seamlessly. The beginning of the chapter was seriously scary. I could just picture Tom going to wake his twin and finding him covered in blood. I could feel his panic while he was trying to snap him out of his nightmare. I know it's Bill who is ill, but its Tom I feel so sorry for. So soon after losing his mum and he's having to cope with Bill's condition all over again. Bill's lying to him, verbally abusing Tom and all those around him and refusing help although he's looking more and more ill every day, and Tom's worried sick he'll lose his twin too. I know Bill can't necessarily help himself, but poor, poor Tom. You wrote the laxative abuse so realistically; you know I have experience of what it does to people, and how distressing it can be to watch someone you love going through that. I love how you introduced Adam into the story. I'm hoping Bill will fall for him and then maybe Adam can have a positive influence on him. Loved Tom going all protective, possesive big brother on Adam. Made me laugh. But I'm hoping his warnings don't scare Adam off; I don't think Bill will easily forgive his twin if they do. Mind you, if things ever get that far between them Adam's going to know about Bill cutting himself by the scars. Of course, there's still the mystery of what happened in the past that sparked Bill's issues, that has to revolve around those secret diary pages. Can't wait to read more. I'm so, so happy you're writing again. You did great. Love and hugs, Helen x

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, Helen. It means so much to me how detailed you are. I worked really hard on this chapter and appreciate each and every one of your reviews. More to come as I am working every chance I get on the next chapter. I'm not going to reveal anything because I want the rest of the story to be a surprise. Yes, Bill is verbally abusive. He's very defensive about the disease and his control issues and I will reveal the diary secrets in chapters to come. I'm moving this story along slowly because I love writing it so much and have already come up with a possible sequel, if I ever get it finished. I'm hoping it wasn't too cheesy between Bill and Adam and I'm not wanting to rush things with those two. Tom is protective of Bill and he'll do anything to keep him from destroying himself, while trying to make him happy at the same time. He doesn't want to see anyone else get hurt if they attach themselves too closely. I'm hoping to post again very soon. I think in some way, you're really helping keep this story alive in me. Thank you again for your review and I will chat with you asap. LOVE U WOMAN!!!!

Ah Tom being the protective older brother. I can't wait to read the next one.

Author's Response: Thank you! I can't wait to get it written. And there will be much more of that to come.

And Adam comes in when????

Author's Response: Honey, as soon as I can get back to this, I will. Trust me. I've been offline and I will get you an update asap. Let's just say soon, shall we? I hope you'll be patient with me and thank you for noticing my story.

Please continue..

Author's Response: Thank you. I appreciate your reviews, dear, but at the moment my internet is down. This is in the process of being worked on, but it'll be a few more months before I can continue it. Thanks again!!