Girl... I'm done T_T You had me crying the whole chapter, i felt like i couldn't breathe when Bill was bleeding in the bathroom, omg. You know what? I haven't cried like this since i don't know... a long, long time... But your story really touch me and the way Bill's destroying his life and the life of everyone around him it really hurts deep in my soul ;_; I know he can't control it but still, I'm getting heart attacks while reading and i just love it, I LOVE YOU; I LOVE YOUR TALENT and i love everything about this story, thank you , thank you, thank you for making me feel as always every emotion and please, help Bill, i know it's getting even more hard , right? Oh God, I'll try to be ready for the next one. Thank you and have a great night/day ? :')

Author's Response: I will not say sorry for making you cry. I'm an angsty writer and it's like therapy for me, lol. I'm glad my story touches you so deeply and I'm glad you're still reading and reviewing it. Thank you so much, as always for being a faithful reviewer.rn

omfg, i've been checking all day long, i had a feeling that you'd post today xD i haven't even read yet, I better go to slay my mind with your story, hope you're doing okay favorite writer :B

Author's Response: Well, go read it!! Lol! You're such a doll. Don't forget the end review now. I love to read your reviews so I know what people think and it gives me a little insight on how I might push the story along!

You do make Bill suffer, don't you? It's not enough with everything the guy's going through with his ED, now he has broken bones too. But then, as you explain, he's so depleted in all nutrients his bones are probably brittle too so its actually all part of the same disorder. Poor Tom, trying to protect his twin from Adam, who he perceives as using him, but ending up being the one to inflict yet more pain on his little brother, and now having to finally take that most awful decision. He'll have his twin institutionalised to save his life at the possible cost that Bill will hate him and never forgive him. It seems no matter what he does to protect and help Bill he just can't win, can he? And yet it's Tom Bill wants when he's suffering; that was so cute. I'm pleased that Tom and Adam made up; I sense they'll need each other for support when the shit hits the fan again. They both want the same thing, for Bill to get better, and they both love him so it makes sense they should work together. I guess if Tom finds Bill's pills that will be the absolute final straw and will cement his decision to have Bill committed. I can't wait for the next chapter when you have time from your busy schedule to write it. Love you, Helen x

Author's Response: I don't know why I do it. I'm not going to apologise, though. Lol. Shit's about to hit the fan very soon as soon as I get a chance to write it. Thank you for the review. I wasn't planning on keeping Tom angry with Adam. Hell, he needs him more than he realized and his relentless brother isn't simply going to just relent and give up his relationship. I'm probably going to have more trouble with the next few chapters and where I need them to move in order to finish this thing up, then I swear I'm moving on to write nothing but fluffy one-shots! Jk! But, I do need to get this thing done soon so that I can move on to some of the other stuff we talked about. Anyhow, thanks again for always being a faithful and detailed reviewer. Love you, too!!

Wow. I can't even begin to describe how amazing this story is and how much it truly touches me. There are so many emotions and you write them in a way so that I FEEL them, too. And I can picture everything so perfectly in my head and imagine the pain of every character. You're truly talented.

I understand why Tom is so frustrated. He's incredibly protective of Bill and terrified that as soon as he isn't watching like a hawk he will lose his brother. And to a point he is probably right. At the same time Bill feels like he's losing control when the people who love him take action, causing him to hide more. But if they don't take action, he'll die. It's such a difficult situation because nothing is easy and things always get worse before they get better. Eventually I think Bill is going to lose control of the situation. He's clearly not prepared to recover but if be doesn't recover soon then he won't survive. I almost cried as I read this chapter (in a good way). It's just so beautiful and tragic at the same time...I'm probably not making sense...

And I know Adam says he loves Bill, but I can't help but feel that he doesn't fully realize the extent of Bill's situation and how deep of a grave Bill is digging for himself. And Bill is certainly not going to be happy of Tom gets him institutionalized, but at some point it's that or nothing. Of course the press would have a field day but the fans would be supportive and back Tom as well. Plus it couldnt be that much of a surprise. But Bill's secrets are going to come out and he's going to be in trouble for hiding more laxatives and diet pills.

Even though this story and situation is so sad right now, it makes me so happy and gives me hope. It's beautiful to read how great of a support system Bill has here and how they aren't giving up on him even though he's given up on himself. They are all so loving, even if it has to be tough love sometimes. Really I can't thank you enough for writing this. And I'm typing on my phone which I hate so you should know I mean every word. I can't wait for the next chapter!!!! As always :)

Author's Response: I think you're making perfect sense here. I see a definite clear picture of where this story is going now and everything is starting to close in around the characters of this story. There's definitely a light at the end of the dark tunnel this story has been. I appreciate the fact that you're still reviewing this. It's not an easy thing to write and I know it can't be an easy subject for some people to read. Thank you again for this beautiful review. I think it's so realistic sometimes because I feel when I write, so it's not all just mental for me. It's coming full circle and I'm even thinking of a sequel because I can't get it out of my head, lol. Thanks again, sweetie. I'll let you know when I update!!

Oh, you wrote Bill's first time so beautifully. And Adam made it so good for him; not only the actual sex but romancing him too with candles and the hot tub. But there was also such sadness in this chapter too. Bill thinking Adam wouldn't want him because of what Jorg did to him, effectively blaming himself for what happened and that he was tainted because of it. And when Adam discovered the cuts on Bill's thighs I could have cried for both of them, for Bill getting discovered and for Adam seeing the way his love deals with his pain. Adam's speech about how Bill's body partially belongs to him now and reading him the riot act if he harms himself again. The sex was so hot and sweet and emotional. I'm so glad Bill's first time was memorable in a good way. Hopefully when he thinks of sex in the future he'll be able to concentrate on how Adam made him feel rather than on his father's abuse. I'm sure it will take more than one great fuck to make that happen since the aftermath of abuse lasts...well forever in one way or another. But at least he knows not all sex has to be abusive. Of course, I'm not sure Tom will understand how important the night was for his twin. I'm sure Tom will go off on Adam and blame him for taking advantage of his emotionally damaged brother. But I'm also certain Adam can hold his own against his boyfriend's brother, and besides he and Tom have the same aim...to help Bill and keep him safe. I'm still wondering just how bad it will get when they discover Bill's been lying to them again about the laxatives and such. Oh, jeez, it's going to cut Adam so deep after that promise Bill made, and Tom's going to hate that he was duped into believing Bill yet again. I think that's all I have for now, but this was a lovely chapter so full of detail and emotion. You write the emotional conflict so beautifully. Looking forward to the next one. Love you, Helen x

Author's Response: Thank you, as always for reviewing in such detail. Yes, Tom is quite upset with baby brother and Adam at the moment, but I won't spoil anything for you. I thought it was a good time to reveal the self-harm to Adam, and make it clear that it has to stop. Now, whether or not it will is a whole other issue. Like with any addiction, it's very conflicting for Bill right now. He has two people who love him so much and want what's best for him, but he wants the pain to go away and has found a means to make it temporarily stop. Adam knows Bill is hiding something, so he's gonna feel the need to dig. I know exactly where the story is going, I think and have a clear picture of what the end will look like, too. I wanted to make Adam the romantic type. I wanted him to take his time with Bill and make it clear that sex was not his initial intention, and it wasn't. I hope I did write the scene alright. I was a bit worried when I first started writing this and I wanted it to be tender and loving. Anyhow, I'm glad you enjoyed this and thank you for saying Bill's first time was beautiful. I actually didn't plan on Tom coming in at the end, it just kina popped up since Bill didn't call or text him the whole time, but it lead me right into the next chapter. Thanks again and I love you!

Omg! Hi! What a great surprised *-*
The chapter... Omg, it was beautiful, that ending... Girl,you better upload the next chapter soon *o* I can totally understand Tom's reaction over Bill's and Adam's actions... He just wants to protect his baby twin, he's so afraid of losing him and that's beautiful too because their relationship is magical

Author's Response: Working on the next one and should have it up soon. Thank you so much for this review and I'm glad you are enjoying this. Tom has other reasons to be pissed and worried right now, trust me. More to come!! Stay tuned and thanks again!!

Of all the sadness in this chapter I think the saddest thing of all is Bill sneaking off to buy laxatives and diet pills. It's awful that his voices are still plagueing him and making him act against commonsense; he knows what he's doing is harming him not helping him, but he can't help himself. It's even more sad that he's deceiving those who think he's now genuinely invested in getting well. Honestly my heart's already breaking for Tom when he discovers Bill's been taking pills again. Despite everything he was so relieved that his twin agreed to the therapy, that Bill's been eating, that he really seemed to have turned a corner, and he even believes that Bill's stomach ache is due to him having eaten too much. How many more lies, how much more deceit can he endure? Adam has yet to discover just how sly Bill's condition makes him act, I wonder how he'll react when he realises he's being lied to? Will he understand it's Bill's condition not his true nature that makes him behave that way. Will he be able to cope with that? He must be getting some idea of what being involved with Bill means after witnessing his struggle with the nightmare, and he still wants to be with Bill, but he's not had to endure Bill's issues week after week and month after month. Coping with it is exhausting for both the sufferer and those around them. Now, we have Bill spending the night alone with Adam. No wonder Tom is worried, but he's hoping it's a good thing and his twin genuinely wants to recover and start moving on with his life. Now I'm all on edge wondering just how Bill and Adam's first night together will go, especially as Bill seems to have made his mind up that they'll have sex. Surely he's going way too fast considering the shit cluttering up his head. This is truly compelling reading, my dearest friend, and it shines through your writing just how invested you are in the story. Love you as always, Helen x

Author's Response: Thank you for this beautiful review. I don't know if my response can do it justice. It may seem old with the cycle of the laxatives and diet pills, the trying to hide over and over again, but I'm trying to convey the reality of the disease and how it really does make a person think they're getting better, then will suddenly grab ahold of them and cause them to completely slip and sink back into it. More things will come full circle in chapters to come and I have an idea of where it's going to go. Not quite sure yet how I will reveal everything to Adam, but I'm getting there. Adam is definitely not just after sex, he's compelled to love Bill and stick it out no matter what it takes. The voices I write in are very real in a lot of cases for people with anorexia and bulimia. They make the person feel disgusting and like they have no control over what's happening to them, because all the guilt and lack of control they push on the sufferer. This was another really hard chapter to write for me and I think the rest of the story is going to be just as tough. I've spent hours of research for some of this, as you know, and it's an exhausting journey that I'm willing to take because I love this story so much and I really enjoy writing it. I'm glad you think it's so compelling and I know some things in it are really personal and hard for you, but thank you so much for sticking with it and with me, my very best friend. I love you, too, sweetheart. You really help me keep this alive!

First of all: Hope you're doing fine! :) Second: THANK YOU*-* you always make my Saturdays perfect *-*I cried with this episode. The fact that all the characters are suffering (don't' get me wrong, I love drama way too much, and i really love to read and feel every single emotion. I love the way you write about Kaulitz relationship, I think is so real and in fact they are really codependent. Can't wait to read the next chapter, wanna know what's going on with Bill's demonds, like, he always find the way to puke and don't gain weight. I've read that when people is too thin, the heart can't handle it and it could stop beating :o I remembered that when I read about Bill's heart problem ? Anyway, hope to read you next week too *-* and other thing: I love the way the story is developing , like everything is going slow, at its time and you're making it so real *-* I just. . Thank you. I love your story and I love the other one you wrote here, I'd like to know if you are planning to finish the other one (without forgetting this because this is my fab story ever u.u ) ? Well, I've written too much now :'D hope you have a great night. Greetings from Mexico :3

Author's Response: I love getting reviews like this. I've already started on the other one, so just check for updates or I could send you an email if you'd like letting you know when I post. Yes, people with eating disorders do tend to develop heart problems and all sorts of health issues because malnutrition deteriorates the body when you don't get enough electrolytes etc...in your system. It's a painful thing to watch and experience for the person and people around them. I try to convey that with this story, how it hurts everyone and not just the person it happens to. I'm glad I can give you an enjoyable weekend with this and, again, check for an earlier post. I can't promise anything, but I'll try to have it up sooner if I can. Thanks again for your lovely review!

Wow. This chapter was fantastic! I don't even know where to start!

Honestly, I don't think Bill and Tom's codependency is that strange. They are twins and would do anything for each other, and really, they're all the family they have left - bloodwise, at least. And when you can't live without someone, you would do all you can to make sure they're okay. They both clearly love each other, and I'm glad that Adam is willing to accept that Bill comes as a packaged deal. And Tom is willing to let Adam in as well. They're all very understanding. I also am glad that Tom and Adam had a conversation about Bill's health. Adam is new and wouldn't know how bad Bill's condition is. He isn't just not eating a little bit; he's dying. And it was really important for Adam to understand how serious things are.

Georg handled the news about Jorg well, too. He knows not to push the issue but let Bill know that he can come to him if he needs to. It's amazing and wonderful how strong the support system is around Bill....but Bill is clearly not ready to be healed. He's so conflicted and confused, and it's hard to let go of an illness that you've been gripped by for so long. You feel like it defines you; it's your whole life. And now everyone is trying to make Bill let it go, and that's terrifying. Bill's demons are winning at the moment, and it's not going to be pretty.

I'm really in love with this chapter. It may have been my favorite so far because of how real the emotions were. I was completely consumed by your words, and you're so talented! And everything is believable, and I'm just rambling now because I loved this so much. Now I need to go work, but jeez. I'll probably re-read this again haha

Author's Response: Wow back at you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this. I was almost nervous about posting it and actually thought about going and re-writing the whole thing, but now that I've read this, I feel like I can move the story along. Fantastic review! Thank you so much. I try to make my stories as real and emotional as I see them in my head. I had to think about how to add another character into the loop about what happened with Jorg and I thought Georg would be ideal because he is the most understanding between him and Gustav, although, things will change there in the future, I'm sure. The conversation between Tom and Adam wasn't even planned, I just kind of fell into a trance while writing it, thinking of how terrifying the disease itself is for all involved. It does tend to consume one's life and brings a lot of ups and downs even when the person thinks they're ready to start recovery, that's not always the case. Thank you again for this excellent and detailed review and I hope you look forward to my next chapters. I'm already in the process of starting fifteen and thinking of how to end this story. Oh, and there's a little matter of a sequel playing out in my head, too. Just a heads-up!

You know what? Saying you made my saturday night is nothing... You made my whole weekend! :'D I mean it!!!! You don't know how much i love your story ;_; I'd love a bunch of more drama just to no see the end of this story, And thank you for your reply, i don't only love to read your story but your replies too :'3 You have any idea of when the next chapter is coming? *-*

Author's Response: That means a lot to me, too. You know, I really have no clue when I'll be updating this. When I first started out, it was just supposed to be a fairly short fic, but then it just kinda kept growing in my head. I'm not sure of my next update because I work so much and have two little girls(older TH fan here, lol.) So, yeah, just be looking for one in the next few days. Hope I can make it happen!rn