omg i love this please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you!

*shudders* it's uncanny how well you're building this story. And with building I mean how well you are slowly undermining Tom's pride and strength. I mean, the soap thing is really up-close and personal and you're really showing how much being bound like that can affect the human psyche. Slowly breaking someone is really, really difficult, but Bill seems to be doing quite a lot right. Though forcing Tom to cum was a particularly dirty trick, but obviously necisarry.

Furthermore I would like to note that I, by no means, was implying you used to little detail or that you should add more or overthink things. I'm actually pretty offended, by being called someone whose 'imagination doesn't supply fine detailing'. I was merely stating something that wasn't clear to me, not as an attack to your writing skills (as I've made quite clear I love this story) or as critique (an even if it was critique, it was only meant as building-critique) but because there was a tiny detail that was bothering me, while also stating that it might very well be just me.

And the little sentance of; "Rising, Bill moved past Tom to head into the bathroom behind him." was enough to make the entire scene absolutely clear to me. So thank you for answering my question. I hope that's clear now and I hope you know that I didn't mean to imply anything, I was just trying to help.

Either way, on with it :)

Something I'm already really enjoying here are the sensations you're describing. Tom's surprise when he's penetrated, his exposedness and vulnerable thoughts as Bill washes him, yet also the feeling of enjoying himself. They're very well described and I find myself staring at the screen of my laptop like a loon because I'm just that deep into the story. It's lovely.

I'm really anxious to find out what Bill has planned for Tom, so I hope you update soon!

with love,
Dawn

Author's Response: I really appreciate constructive criticisms and yours are definitely that, so no worries! One of the great things about the written word is the wide variety of likes and responses to it, if people are thinking about it and developing differing points of view then I think that's a good thing. I have a habit of over analyzing my work to death, it's a bad one that I'm trying to break and it's what can slow me down so much. As always, I'm glad you are enjoying and sharing your thoughts!

Also, I'm going to go ahead and proffer this as your beta, because I know you already overthink shit to death.

You don't need more ambient detail. We know which direction Tom is facing because you told us when Bill was stringing up the straps and again when he was in the bathroom behind Tom filling up the basin. We know time of day, what they're wearing, or not. Position, action, sensation, thought, and emotion. That's all we need for this plot. It's the focus of your story. We don't care or need to know what colour the bedpsread is, or how many lamps in the room are turned on, or what scent the soap was that Bill used. We're good. Some people need that because their imaginations don't supply fine detailing. They are the exception to the rule. You just give the reader the framework and the significant stimulation and they will do the rest.

If you Hemingway this, you will ruin it.

I love you.

Author's Response: No Hemmingway, I promise - I just added one teeny tiny line!

I like that he stopped to tell him he was beautiful before leaving the room. That was a nice touch, and so very Bill.

Author's Response: Thanks! As much as I attribute more strength to Bill than I think most people do - writing him this way was still very... tricky.

this is lovely. I love the power-struggle between them and the fact that Bill is being dominat for tom. I love dom!Bill a lot, because I've never believed in the whole Bill-Bottom Tom-Top thing and bill seems to me as a very strong person, though a bit more frail in appearance.

Either way, I'm very much intruiged by BDSM thingies like this and I must say you've done it very well, Tom's pushing as a sub and the struggle for power is wonderfully done.

I have to say that the discription of where they are is sometimes a bit vague to me (and that may very well be just me as I have the tendency of reading thigns too fast, when I like it)
For example, I have no idea which side Tom is facing, now that he's strapped to the door. Because at first, Bill seemed behind him and later, he was looking at him and seemed in front of him.

Just a little thing and like I said, it could just be me.
I hope you'll update soon. *waves*
Love,
Dawn

Author's Response: Dawn - your reviews are always so thoughtful and well put, thank you! It's actually good to know if it's a bit hard to tell which way Tom is facing, that's exactly the kind of detail I need to know about if it's missing. I'm doing the final editing on Chapter 3 which will post today, and writing the first draft on Chapter 6. I'll go through it all today and see where I can make that detail a bit more clear. Thanks for reading and enjoying!

Oh, well...I'm practically dying where I sit because I think I know what's coming, and I've been waiting for this for...nine months? Has it been? Longer?

The first chapter I read nine months ago and it is every bit as intriguing now as it was then. Stop over-editing. I'll throw something at you.

Author's Response: I've been staring at this thing way too long, yes. And OKAY Obi Wan - I'll stop over thinking! (Yeah... like that's going to happen... LOL)