Date: 12/01/11 02:50 am Title: let me show you
Wow. Really impressive. This story is amazing. Like, u didn't even need to continue because you've told so much with so few words. That last sentence gives away so much, and that finishing bit when Tom comes home... wow, it just ties everything in the story together- their dad, the touches, the way Tom talks to Bill, the incident at the dock. You're a brilliant writer and this is the best-written story I've read in a long time.
It really captures u and puts u in that mood, that melancholy, no-escape from this life feeling Bill has. Sad and beautiful and so incredibly well narrated. I'm just really impressed to have found this story, I didn't expect anything like it when I started reading.
I think if you extended this short into a novel, it should be published IRL, not just here on THF.
Amazing job! Loved it.
Author's Response: Wow thank you so much! I really don't know what to say... I'm so glad you liked it! And thank you for all that you said so much <3 I actually am working on a novel currently, but it's a completely different story line :) Once again, thank you! You really made my day !
Date: 11/11/11 11:40 pm Title: let me show you
Hehehe
Author's Response: OMG MA GFFF <333333
Date: 10/17/11 05:39 am Title: let me show you
Its impossible to describe how much i love it, though my English is not very good, It made me think... It seems very real, I mean, if someone is suffered from being raped by their brother, they won't tell the others as well, they're frightened, but they still think he's the brother and keep silent.
The way Tom acts was just twisted but sad... I think its because he wants to "own"Bill... To make Bill know that "he belongs to him". He's fragile in the heart because he know that Bill'd never really belong to him...
aww..poor Bill ><
(p.s. Forgive my poor English LOL ://)
Author's Response: Your english is great! I'm so glad you liked the story and found it realistic. :) And I think it's great that you understand the characters so well! thanks for reading :D <3
Date: 10/17/11 03:21 am Title: let me show you
this is great! please keep going
Author's Response: thank you :) I'm sorry, but that's the end of the story ):
Date: 10/16/11 11:29 am Title: let me show you
That last sentence really finishes the story right. Well done :)
Author's Response: Thank you ! I'm so happy you liked it :3
Date: 10/16/11 08:34 am Title: let me show you
GOD NEXT STORY NOW.N JLHJGFHF
Author's Response: Haha maybee :) But i think the story is finished :P
Date: 10/16/11 07:25 am Title: let me show you
nice story!
Author's Response: Thank you <3
Date: 10/16/11 04:54 am Title: let me show you
Disfunctional family or what? Dark but very intriguing story. Danke. :)
Author's Response: Thank you for reading! <3 I'm glad you found the story intriguing... hopefully not too dark! :)
Date: 10/15/11 07:19 pm Title: let me show you
i agree with coco, this should be a story! it's so good you shouldn't leave it there D:
Author's Response: Haha thank you :) I think it's finished though, it is a school assignment lol
Date: 10/15/11 07:17 pm Title: let me show you
Can you make this like a story please! You can't leave it like this!
Author's Response: Lol sorry I think it's finished :) Haha you can imagine how it ends xD
Date: 10/15/11 02:46 pm Title: let me show you
Wow. That was seriously dramatic, I felt tense the whole way through it and your words paint a very bleak picture. I'm glad that there's a small ray of hope in the form of the little sister, but I was the whole while clamouring for them all to escape their own demons. Well done. :3
Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm glad you felt strongly throughout the story! :)