Date: 10/18/11 02:48 am Title: Chapter Two
Heh, I think I saw this before, but I wanted it to have at least two chapters before I started reading. Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, this is really cool :3 It's good to write in various tones.
Lol, I think I would personally keep away from someone like Tom after the fact. He's obviously embroiled in... things. Drama. Though, you can't overlook that he rescued Bill. Hmm...
I do have one suggestion. For when Bill first hears Gordon asking him who he is, I'd have the question and Bill's reaction in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise it looks (technically speaking) like Bill is the one talking. Keep the dialogue/movements of one character together, and the dialogue/momevents of other characters apart :) (I have no idea if that made sense XD)
PS: "Striker" totally made me think of X-men :P
Author's Response: I'm soooo glad that you're reading! I was actually really hoping that you would. I love having you as a reader. :D I'm really glad you like it so far. I keep trying to challenge myself and write different things, so that I don't get stuck in one genre. I would probably keep away from Tom, too. And Bill does! But they run into each other rather unexpectedly in the next chapter. And yeah...Tom DID rescue him. So there's definitely something up with that. THANK YOU. I took your suggestion and fixed it. You're totally right, it flows better with those two parts separated. P.S. I didn't know that was an X-Men character! Whooooops. Hehe. Thank you so much for reading!
Date: 10/18/11 01:26 am Title: Chapter Two
Dear lovely,
This chapter is a fantastic end to my fabulous Monday (I know what you're thinking "Mondays can be fabulous!?" but this one was my friend)! I love this Tom all strong but soft. My Bill is being perfect too though. I think Georg will be... Flamboyant? A hair god(dess)? Something like that lol. I hope they meet at college :) love you!! -Marissa
Author's Response: Dear beautiful, rnHello! I'm so happy I could add to your fabulous Monday! That's fantastic that you had a great one, despite the negative connotations always associated with that day! You should just know that your review totally made my Monday even better! :) I'm so glad that you love this Bill and Tom. That makes me truly happy! And Georg...I WILL tell you that he is going to be quite entertaining, hehe. Your ideas are awesome! I can't wait for you to find out how they meet again! Thank you so much for reading and for this happy review. Love youuu! <3
Date: 10/18/11 12:09 am Title: Chapter Two
You better update very soon. :)
Author's Response: You make me haaaappppy! :D I'll update as soon as I can. I'm just really glad that you're reading, okay? :)
Date: 10/18/11 12:03 am Title: Chapter Two
Ok, I suppose I can tell you how it is we keep getting lovlier, but you gotta promise not to tell. Its a secret. Ok *whispers* We keep getting lovlier, cuz you're such an awesome writer, and keep getting more amazing yourself. Shhh.
Oh, wow...Wtf was that with Gordon?...Thank god Tom had a bad feeling!...BUt how did he not hear Bill? Weirdness abounds yet again.
Silly Bill, letting his gas run dry. Maybe his gauge stuck? My mom did that last week.
That is kind of an odd quirk of Bill's. Not being able to sleep where others can watch him?...And he can't analyse himself. I don't think anyone can, really.
What the heck is Tom into, how dangerous is it, and how easy is it to stumble upon and not be able to get out?
Hmm...Georg...I dunno, how have always wanted to write Geo? He doesn't seem to get to be a real jerk very often.
Awesome chapter. I seriously do not want to wait for more. Pretty pretty please update soon? With a chocolate covered Bill on top?
Author's Response: Whaaaaaaat? No way! I refuse to believe that. I think you keep getting lovelier because you're JUST all magical and stuff. :D Hehe, you're so cute. Dude, Gordon is a punk. I really didn't like writing him. I don't think I could ever write a story where something like that ACTUALLY happens to one of the guys. Seriously though, thank goodness for Tom! I'm assuming he didn't hear Bill because he was sleeping and out of it? I dunno, lol. Who knows with the things I write! My sister has totally done that gas thing. She thought it was something serious, lol. It is a bit odd, but it's actually a quirk that I've known several people to have. Myself included! It's like a weird paranoid thing! But yes, it really is hard to analyze yourself because we are all so self-biased. Which is natural! I'm really excited to unveil what Tom is into :d And also, how Georg is gonna be! I will say that he won't be jerky...at least not in an uncaring way ever. He's mostly going to be entertaining. :D I'm soooo happy that you enjoyed the chapter! And that you're excited for more. I will try to update as soooon as I can. :D Thank you so much for reading, love! And girl, don't you dare tempt me with a choco covered Bill. You know I can't resist. ;)
Date: 10/18/11 12:00 am Title: Chapter Two
Aww, Love! Love this, and Love you!
Author's Response: Well what a coincidence!! I love youuu, too! Thank you so much for reading, darling. *offers you tea*
Date: 10/17/11 11:11 pm Title: Chapter Two
This is really good.
I really like the way you are depicting Tom. He's so rough in the edges but somewhat caring and needy at the same time. I can't wait to read all about these dirty business he got himself into.
As for Bill, I love the fact that he over analyzes everything even in the worst of times. That's funny and interesting. He seems to be a really human character and I would definitely read more about him.
I have no idea what your Georg would look or act like, but I'm definitely intrigued. I'm looking forward to read what's next!
Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much! That makes me so happy to hear that you like the way I'm writing Bill and Tom. I've always wanted to write Tom with a rough exterior and something soft deep inside him. I can't wait for you to read the dirty business, either ;) And thank you so much for the compliments on Bill's character! I'm trying to make him interesting but still like someone you could meet in every day life. I'm really excited to unveil my Georg character! I'm so happy you're reading, thank you so much for this review. It was insightful and lovely. I hope to see you at the next chapter! :D
Date: 10/17/11 10:36 pm Title: Chapter Two
oh thanks god tom got there on time i was about to cry poor bill, mmm georg i don't know mm maybe gay?? xD aw girl what else can i say amazing like always..*here some cupcakes for you* ;)
Author's Response: Seriously, thank goodness for Tom's timing! I'll tell you, I could neverrr do that to Bill. I don't think I ever will in any of my stories, so rest assured! I'm not writing him as gay, but he is definitely going to be a Georg that is equally entertaining. :D Aww, thank you so much! You always make me smile. :D I hope you'll stick around for more! Oh my gosh, cupcakes?? Eeeee! *takes them happily and gives you loves and hugs*
Date: 10/17/11 10:20 pm Title: Chapter Two
Oh one more thing! As soon as I read ``Georg, written in a way that I have ALWAYS wanted to write him``, a very ``gay`` (don't know how to exlplain this image I have in my head with English words... haha)Georg was the first thing I thought of... lol If that's it, that would be absolutely hilarious! But whatever it is, I'm sure he's gonna be a very interesting character and guess what, I'm very excited to read about him too! xD
Author's Response: Hahaha. In English we'd use the word flamboyant for someone who is really obviously gay. But you explained it perfectly without that word! I'll tell you that I had thought of it...but that's actually not how I'm writing him! However, the way I AM writing him is hopefully going to be equally hilarious. :D Awww your excitement is making me all excited! Thank you so much!
Date: 10/17/11 10:16 pm Title: Chapter Two
Omg that was so intense! Thank Tom and his perfect timing! I really can't wait to learn what's up with Tom... and now I'm so intrigued about Georg!!! Of course Bill and Tom have to meet again, can't wait to read about that too! So as you can see, we can pretty much summarize this review by saying I'm VERY excited to read more! =D
Author's Response: It WAS a pretty intense chapter. I wanted to give you guys a warning at the beginning and be like 'Don't worry! Tom is going to save Bill from pervy Gordon!'. But then I didn't want to ruin the chapter, lol. I'm so glad you made it to the end. :D I'm really happy that you are so excited to read more. I truly am! And yay for intrigue. :) Thank you so much for reading and sharing this review with me!
Date: 10/17/11 10:10 pm Title: Chapter One
oh, and as for how you're writing geo...i'm guessing...flamboyantly gay?
Author's Response: Haha, I had thought about that actually. Perhaaaaps. We shall see!
Date: 10/17/11 10:09 pm Title: Chapter Two
omg! could i be more in suspense than i am now? i think not. what is going on with tom? it must be horrible since he's concerned about the safety of a complete stranger. i'm so curious about what's going on!
ps...i love hints! *flutters eyelashes*
Author's Response: You just don't even know how pleased I am that I've got you in suspense! Confusing and intriguing you is totally what I live for, haha. :D You're right, it must be pretty rough if Tom is concerned for someone he just met. Hmmm. *ponders and sips tea* I am so glad that you're curious for more! Thank you so much for reading. P.S. Hints, eh? Well since your eyelashes are so fluttery cute...before Bill and Tom meet again, Bill sees Tom from afar, doing something that may or may not be illegal. Ahem. That's all you're getting from me! :D
Date: 10/17/11 10:01 pm Title: Chapter Two
WHEEEE I'm happy this finally got updated :D Okay first of all Gordon is an ass. Yay for Tom to the rescue! He had a feeling something was wrong...THEY HAVE A CONNECTION. dundundun. At least that's what I think xD And awwhh, Bill left Tomi standing by himself :( I can just picture that. Also, oooh they were totally checking each other out. I can't waaiit for the next chapter! :D I wonder what Georg will be like...since it's you writing him, he'll probably be pretty awesome anyway XD I have infinite love for you! Here, I have some in a jar! take it! *hands you jar with prettyful pink infinite love inside* Do with it what you wish. *bows and skips away*
Author's Response: Well, helllooooo there! I'm happy I got around to updating it as well. :D But not as happy as I am to see YOU here!! Dude, Gordo really is an ass. Thank goodness Tom was there to save Bill from them. THEY TOTES HAVE A CONNECTION. Hehe. But, what kind of connection is it? *eyebrow raise* I'm glad you could picture the things in the chapter! They totally did check each other out ;) I can't wait for you to find out what Georg is like! Listen, I've got nothing but love for you guuuurl. OH you have collected it in a jar? HOW LOVELY! *takes jar and hugs it tight to my chest* No, wait! Come back! :D Thank you so much for reading and for your loooove.
Date: 10/17/11 09:54 pm Title: Chapter One
;____; *automatically favorites because I already know that it will be golden* So happy you started a new story! I'm so confused as to what's the deal with Tom and those weird lurking men but It's the beginning of the story so that's normal. :3 That's cute how he was all shy about his name bahaha. Both you and Bill have boring names, deal with it. :P Llooking good so far!
Author's Response: You my dear, are positively delightful! You just made me smile so big. :D Thanks so much for reading and putting this in favorites! I'm excited about writing this story. There's definitely going to be some confusion in the beginning, but it will clear up as the story progresses. I'm just so pleased that you're excited for more! Dude, Tom and Bill really do have boring names. They just need to deal with it lol. Thank you so much and I hope you keep enjoying! <3
Date: 10/16/11 02:04 pm Title: Chapter One
I'm hoping my reviews do to you what your stories do to me. I doubt it but hey, absolute happiness is hard to achieve. Being sick is not good. no no no no. I'm sorry *kisses better* MAPLE CANDY IS COMPARISON, TRUST ME. I feel so special, when you use words like especially :D OF course I'm going to give it a chance! Isn't life about experimenting? Or is that college.. EITHER WAY, I'M GOOD. Ohhh, that was clever, very nice xD I DO I DO I DO! Oh, it's easy! MAking someone love me.. comes naturally. I'm 1/4 charm, 1/4 funny, and 1/2 absolutely gorgeously adorable and sweet and awesome and shit. OH bitch please, you have dat talent! You just gotta be confident about it. If you ever become a best seller, I'll buy your books and go to all of your meet and greats and create a fan page for you on facebook and errythang. Well, as long as I get my dose of pretty things, I'm happpy! Though, your face is pretty enough to last me a lifetime! (Does this get me bonus points in bed?) YOU CAN FILL ME WITH MORE ANYTHING, IF YOU'D LIKE! Yes, he is pretty smokin. Tall, blond, green-eyes and he's a volunteer-y person. I'm set. My neighbour back in Montreal had a dog named Max. Naming dogs Max is totally a warning that they'll be annoying yapping things, I know it. and yes, OBVS we're sexier. No one can compare to us, kay? :) DOUT SMILES ARE THE BEST, IKNORITE?
Author's Response: They always do, I promise you. You make me so so happy. Always! I feel much better now, actually! I mean.../cough cough/ I'm still stick...give me more kisses? :D I NEED MAPLE CANDY IN MY LIFE. You SHOULD feel special. 'Especially' is a fancy word that I don't just throw around. Hahahaha you hilarious thing you~ Experimenting can be good in all walks of life. So yeah, if you wanna use me to do so...feel free :D You're more like 100% supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. :D Haha, it doesn't say that's misspelled! I am verrrry impressed! GUUUURL. You get all the bonus points in bed for doing all of those hypothetical and sweet things for meeee. Brb, i'mma mount you. Hahaha. Seriously, you make me feel sooooo loved with all that you say. Oh! Green eyes, eh? Nais nais nais. I've know three dogs named Max. All annoying. WHAT IS THIS MAGIC. No one can compare to us, indeed. :D Mainly to you though, cause you're the best. YES THEY ARE OMG OKAY LOVE YOU BUH BYE
Date: 10/15/11 05:00 pm Title: Chapter One
Interesting start. The darker feeling in this - despite of Bill's amusing way to play with others - is drawing me in. I think I'll stick around and see what's really behind Tom's character. :)
Author's Response: I'm really happy that you are intrigued so far! I hope that I can continue to arouse your curiosity. :) I can't wait to reveal more about Tom in the coming chapters. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me~
Date: 10/13/11 11:40 pm Title: Chapter One
Bill's attitude towards the grad school party and his career plans ring soundly of you! You put yourself in Bill, huh! I did too, with my story. Giving the main character little characteristics of yourself makes him or her more real and solid. Btw, your characters are awesome, and they always have been now that I think about it. They are the bee's knees; and coming from me, that's really saying something. I do have 3 pairs of knees. That's a lot of knees.
So I'm just gonna make one big paragraph of all my comments as I read:
You'd think in psychology, of all fields, people would express themselves how they wanted; and not be stiff and proper.... Dude, I read on, and you even gave Bill's car character. You. Rock. ..... Grizzled, tough-guy, flannel-wearing Tom. I like. I like it a lot..... Kaulitzes and cars are sexy. Real sexy.....FURBIES!!! Those were admittedly weird little things. How odd they were.... Is Tom involved in gangs, or drugs?.....YOU. STOP BEING SO CUTE AND STUFF, LIEK OMG. ...I'm looking forward to smarty-pants Bill to analyze Tom further and discover Tom's story; and for Tom to discover Bill's. Tom is so grumpy here; I feel like poking his arm and teasing him. But I'm sure he's got his reasons, which I'm sure you'll disclose, which I'm sure you'll do awesomely, which I'm sure you are.
I love your rich vocabulary. :3 It reflects your brilliant mind. You express yourself so poetically~ And your characters' lines! I love their realistic and sometimes hilarious dialogue! You would be really good at writing interesting, witty, and funny movie scripts, Kiwi. Girl, you're such a good writer! I'm already aching for more! :D
Author's Response: I quuuuuite possibly may have interjected a little bit of my stance on the whole social aspect of my department, lol. Except, my professors have on the large part been really cool! I just don't like obligatory meet and greet type things. Thank you so much for the compliments on my characters! I do try my best to make them different than others that I've read before. THE BEE'S KNEES?? My goodness that really is such flattery! Especially coming from Miss Bee herself! :D Ooooh I do like big paragraphs. Let's goooo! Honestly, the younger professionals of psychology are actually really cool, enthusiastic, and open. But the elders...they are rather stiff and impenetrable. Haha, you know- I had not realized that I did! But I went back and read...and the car really does seem to be a character, eh? I like that kind of Tom, too...mmhm I do I dooo. And YES I absolutely love that photoshoot. They both look unffff. HEHE WHAT DID I DOOO. I had a bad experience with Furbies. Maybe I've told you? If I haven't...maybe it's better to just..not...ahem. I can't wait for you to find out all about Tom! And you definitely will find out a lot of it through the eyes of analytical Bill! Tom really is grumpy..but he's just hardened and jaded, untrusting...etc. All of the bad adjectives basically. Thank you soooo much for reading and I just don't even know what to say about your last paragraph of your review. Because....MY FACE WON'T STOP SMILING. Thank you so so so much for all of the amazing compliments on my writing. I really does mean an incredible amount coming from you. I really hope you like the next chapter!!! <3
Date: 10/12/11 11:47 pm Title: Chapter One
I like it already :D It kind of already reminds me of The Outsiders already... Its obviously to early to tell but I dont know I got that vibe. And I love how stubborn and bitchy Tom is and his tough guy persona. Bill always never fails to be adorible no maatter how his charecter is and I feel the same for him here all like spying on Tom but it's adorible. I can't wait to read more!
P.S. I would have read this like the day it came out just like your other new story but I've been sick and junk and all this college homework I wanted to read them both that night but my body was like nope you have to die in bed. So boo lol.
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you're liking it! It does sort of have a dark and mysterious feel like The Outsiders, but it's definitely going to be different! I've always wanted to write Tom as a tough and rough guy and Bill as more of an intellectual. I'm so glad you think Bill is adorable! I happen to think that YOU are adorable. :D I'm so happy that you're excited for more. P.S. Don't even worry about that! All that matters is that you get better. :) I feel very lucky that you took the time to read and review at all! I feel ya on the hw thing...it's getting to me too. But thank you so much for this lovely review and I hope I'll talk to you soon! <3
Date: 10/12/11 07:37 pm Title: Chapter One
This is really intriguing so far! I can't wait to see where you go with it. :)
Author's Response: I'm so pleased that you are intrigued! I really hope that you like the next chapter. Thank you kindly for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! :D
Date: 10/12/11 08:31 am Title: Chapter One
Oooo I am so intrigued! I can't fathom what Tom is so anxious about and the cryptic way he keeps assuming Bill and he won't see each other in the morning is really making me wonder. Such an interesting start honey *bounces in anticipation*
Author's Response: I'm so happy that you're reading this! Like, I am or may not be bouncing for joy right now. :D Well, bouncing to the best of my ability in my sick state, lol. I can't wait to answer your questions and for you to read the next chapter. :) Thank you sooo very much for reading and sharing this lovely review with me!
Date: 10/12/11 12:03 am Title: Chapter One
Well that was...weird. Tom is very odd in this. I can't wait to find oue whats up. And why his dad insists on being closed on sundays....well, I totslly understand being closed on Sundays, but the way Tom made it sound, he wouldn't even approve of fixing a stranded person's car, for cash, on a sunday when they already live there as it is. Very off, and akward.
And what the heck was up with the two guys? I feel safe assuming the blonde wasn't GUstav, seeing as you said he was tall, and Gussi isn't tall compared to much, so I wanna know his name really bad...and as far as the brunette goes, seeing as we don't know if hes Georg, I'm not sure if you meant stalky (which I take to mean tall and whipcord strong, kinda like the twins) or if you might have accidentally meant stocky (Like Georg is) But you left it really vague, so I'm not too sure...I hope to find out more about that soon.
I loved the Furby comment. I remember having 3 or 4 of them myself. T'was great.
I think its very nice of Bill to keep his assholey analysis' to himself. Probably best in the long run.
You have me intrigued by yet another story, and I cannot wait to see more soon! Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: It is definitely a different kind of story! Tom has some secrets that he's hiding. :D And you'll find out about this in the next chapter but, Tom's dad is a stubborn asshole. Luckily he will barely be in the story! Your assumption is indeed safe. I left the descriptions of the other guys vague for now but you'll definitely learn more soon! I just didn't want to have the entire first chapter filled with descriptions of characters. Hehe Furby! I too had a few of them back in the day. They ended up taking over my life a little bit and my mother made me get rid of them, lol. Yes, Bill probably realizes that saying things like that out loud certainly doesn't make friends! I am really happy that you're intrigued and reading. :D :D I hope you continue to enjoy it! <3