Date: 09/08/11 09:39 pm Title: Part 1: Prologue
oh God, what a disgusting, low class whore Bill is @@ first time I read something like this, usually in most of stories he had some dignity left. poor this man who will end up with him..
very original story, I'm intrigued what will come next *going to read next chapter now*
Author's Response: haha, thanks, i think...:)
Date: 09/08/11 09:18 pm Title: Part 4: Blackbird
I really like how you started off with an interesting glimpse into Bill’s mind and thought process. You had us following along as he finally figures out his real feelings.
Tom made him feel different than the others did. There were no expectations and no matter what he did, he felt treasured. Even the pain reflected back at him in those expressive eyes he’d grown so fond of showed him how much he was cared for.
He was used to the attentions of others, having drawn the lot he had in life—striking looks and a penchant for promiscuity—but they made him feel like a prize, like an object they’d love nothing more than to taint or attain.
Tom made him feel precious, like he was the rarest gem and yet at the same time, nothing out of the ordinary. He was held dear for his smile, his laugh, the way he looked when he woke up in the morning, the silly things he did when nobody else was looking.
I LOVE how you contrasted this! Even after thinking through all this evidence, the decision had to come from Bill, otherwise it never would have been honest. Really great job!
You really took us into Bill's mind and heart. Once the floodgates of Bill's emotions opened, he finally starts to realize things about himself and what he’s been doing. This felt very real and honest. He really thought things through. (And of course I love the decision he came to! :3 Does this mean we get our happy ending? Please?!)
Author's Response: I'm so glad it felt honest, he was just a hot mess and had to be practically hit over the head with reality to even attempt to make sense of it...he had all the information, just needed to piece it together. yes, well, I can't really abide by sad endings...
Date: 09/08/11 09:03 pm Title: Part 3: Roxanne
Tom’s wits were nowhere to be found.
Ha! Neither have mine since I stumbled across Bill and Tokio Hotel. :P
The fact that someone as experienced and frequently used as Bill could shudder at Tom’s lightest touch was tantamount to love, in his own way. He writhed and groaned in earnest, not understanding why it was such a completely different experience with his best friend, but knowing that he craved him more than anyone else.
Oh, poor boys! D:
Ah, the bedroom scene was so hot! I melted all my ice from last chapter.
You made my heart ache with Bill’s stumbling declaration of his feelings – that Tom was the only one in his heart. *wibble*
And then boom! You totally broke my heart! Poor Tom, finally making it clear. Poor Bill, not even knowing what *love* is. Sure, he’s all too familiar with lust, but real love is a world away for him. I like that Natalie is wise enough not to tell Bill one way or the other. No one can tell you what’s in your heart – you have to figure it out for yourself.
This story is so good! (You’re not going to keep my heart broken, are you?!)
Author's Response: LOL, same here, clearly...
Yup, BB was totally clueless. I'm glad you enjoyed it...I sort of went nearly there with the sex in this story...it's definitely there, but not as...in depth as I might write it in a different type of story, since everything here was more about feelings and emotion, rather airy-fairy as opposed to nitty gritty or extremely detailed...it wasn't so much about the realism, i guess. and it's not like it was their first time or anything ground breaking like that...(rambles)
aww, yah...he was trying to help, to be sincere, but not sure how to word it...not sure what IT was, lol...silly baby.
yup, tommy stood up for himself, to try to collect the last bits of his heart and leave with them if he must. yup, Nat's sweet and her age gave her the maturity to know what to do.
aaaaaaw, thanks soooooo much! and I think you've found out that answer for yourself by now...:)
Date: 09/08/11 08:49 pm Title: Part 2: Lady Marmalade
I adore your use of language in this story. You’ve painted such a rich, deep picture of the place and its dancers and especially Bill’s life and personality.
Oh, the milkman was Tom! :3
I needed to take a break after you described Bill’s outfit when he first seduced Tom. Yeah, just wow. I’m looking for some ice…
Tom was aware by then that he was in love with Bill and he hated himself for it. Bill himself was aware of Tom’s feelings though he did not understand the depth of them, and the idea that the older boy was so infatuated with him was quite gratifying to him, even amusing. He did occasionally feel that it was cruel of him to continue on with Tom, encouraging his attachment, without similarly investing himself—he knew that had the situation been different, had he been different, he would gladly have given himself mind, body, and soul to Tom. As it was, in his profession he couldn’t, not really.
What a beautiful way to sum it up in so few words that have so much potential heartbreak and drama…
Poor Tom, to hurt himself by watching Bill get ready and know what’s coming. But he keeps coming back. And poor Bill, too, getting caught up in the glamour and being seduced by all the attention. I love the way you’ve made it so clear that Bill is a creature of the sensual. With a few words you’ve it obvious that he’s all about the way things *feel* whether it’s his costume or the attention on stage or the sex or the sheets. Lovely!
Author's Response: Yeah? I sort of wrung out my creative sponge on each chapter to get every last drop of goodness for this story...I was damned determined that it should be the best I've written and I humbly believe I succeeded. It'll give me a benchmark in future :) I wanted to give vibrant pictures, as his life is full of them...it wouldn't really fit such a sumptuous setting to be described flatly...
Yes! It was Tom, I'm rather glad that I didn't tell right away, it seems to have added a happy discovery for people. One reviewer told me she was worried it was an OMC because she doesn't like OMC/Bill, but she was very relieved it wasn't. I could have put Bill/OMC as a side pairing, but I didn't feel the need because the men he sleeps with who are not Tom get no characterization. No names, no lines, no names, with one exception...;)
hehe, it's not everyone's thing, cross-dressing, but Bill in a corset and garter belt has been plaguing my mind...it's definitely my thing xD (at least, previous Bill...maybe not new, fitter Bill...but that might make it even better? Whose to say...xD
It was a short story, as far as I'm concerned, so a lot happened in a little bit of writing. I'm glad you liked that.
Yes...Tom insists on torturing himself, but not for long...thank youuuuu! Yes, he's...a sensual little bastard. He'd never really been forced to consider other people's feelings. He'd never much explored his own, either...
Date: 09/08/11 08:34 pm Title: Part 1: Prologue
Aw, thanks for the shout-out, but it was my pleasure! You’re such a sweetheart.
I loved the awesome opening picture of BabyBill grabbing for high heels and being fawned over by the girls he considers big sisters. Yay for his parents letting him play dress-up. I can just imagine an adorable little Bill as a living doll.
Just as the seasons change without fail, so do young women pass their prime.
That line was so pretty and rather true, unfortunately. ^_^' I really liked the comparison. And I absolutely loved the description of the place as a "siren’s nest."
Though he had plucked most of his conquests from the unsuspecting white halls of his high school, most had never spoken more than a passing greeting to him before their fall and after he moved on, were either too mortified by or too ashamed of the memories that woke them panting in the night to do even that much.
Ouch! But if anyone could make a man change his mind, it's Bill. This was such a great visual you used.
I love how Bill is conniving the entire time, and oh girl, the scene with the "milkman" was great and really whetted my appetite. His father never stood a chance after Bill’s plan worked.
Oh girl, this is so good! *___*
Author's Response: You've been my little angel recently, so I had to say something :)
rnI'm glad you enjoyed the opening, I'd thought it might be a bit over the top, and yet that's what I was going for, so...xP wouldn't he be the absolute cutest? Some of my favorite, most stalkerish pics of Bill in my collection are his little childhood photos, he really was a little sprite! Most beautiful ear to ear smile, as well xD The world's most perfect child, apart from mischief he's claimed they got up to as children.
rnIt is unfortunate ;_; I'm glad you liked me pointing it out, though, lol. Haha, siren's nest was actually added in the edits, so I'm glad it ended up in the story!
rnYah...a slutty, made up, more than willing Bill is more than many man can resist, I'm sure...if they have a problem with his gender, they could always just turn him over and imagine...he he. My lovely father furnished me with that particular mental image...he's a jokester -_-'
rnYesss, Bill is determined and gets what he wants, so he wasn't going to sit by while one of his dreams lay unfulfilled. Little troublemaker...
rnTHANK YOUUUUUU! aah, I'm sooo glad you liked it!!
Date: 09/08/11 06:37 pm Title: Part 1: Prologue
Hehe, caberet and neo-burlesque? Oh, yes :D
He continued to grow and those that lived within the Moulin Nouveau’s confines became accustomed to his occasional, yet habitual, cross-dressing. -- Hehe :3
Oh, wow, this sentence: One of his favorite had actually been snatched up by her best customer and whisked off to live like a queen as the man’s wife. -- I was all concerned and frowning in the first half, and then struck by realization in the second half, lol.
Later on he wondered whether he had been jaded to feminine wiles by growing up in a house of seduction -- Eh, perhaps. But a lot of times, with gay people, it's because their brains developed that way during pregnancy or early childhood. *shrug*
My gosh, Bill was uhh... promiscuous, wasn't he? (I hope I'm not being presumptuous with the name; I'm pretty damn certain it *is* Bill, lol)
Mm, and I skimmed the first couple chapters yesterday cuz I had no time to read, so now I know what's up, but the first time I read about the 'milkman' I was all indignantly protective of Bill since I don't quite like reading Bill/OMC, lol.
Author's Response: what a lovely review! thanks so much xD it really makes it feel like the sweat and tears were worth while when people show they've actually enjoyed the ride :3 of course it's bill xD, i was hoping that the banner would help, i'd hate to imagine tom or gustav in that getup...yes, I'm not really of the opinion that this bill could have been straight, but perhaps he may have been less...um, promiscuous xD and the cross-dressing was definitely learned. tho he had to have had the propensity within him....:D
ewww, no OMC! well, i mean, i suppose all his nameless bed partners are OMC's, but none of them say anything xP. THANKS SO MUCH!
Date: 09/08/11 02:05 pm Title: Part 5: Circus
I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: thanks so much for letting me know! :D i'm so glad
Date: 09/08/11 07:54 am Title: Part 1: Prologue
I enjoyed this very much. Well written and such a nice insight into such an 'etablisment' as well as Bill & Tom's emotions.
Having just seen Gypsy this is just great. Thank you!
Author's Response: with Bette Midler? I haven't seen it, haha. Now, Gypsy 83...has nothing to do with this, but is a cute movie with a very sexy, Bill-ish looking gay boy...:D hot stuff. and thanks sooooo much, I'm so glad you enjoyed!
Date: 09/08/11 01:43 am Title: Part 5: Circus
It was absolutely amazing :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! you don't even know what that means to me, I worked myself to the creative bone to try to make it as good as I possibly could with my level of skill, and I am quite proud of how it turned out :) hugs!
Date: 09/07/11 08:42 pm Title: Part 1: Prologue
I haven't even read this yet and I've already added it my favorites. I can tell this story is going to be awesome!! Just let me get home and I'll leave you a real good review!
Author's Response: thanks so much! i really hope you like it x3