(response from other thing) Hehe, the only reason I was able to fall asleep is because I was literally slipping into unconsciousness from exhaustion XD Otherwise I would've read the rest.

Bill was standing so close to the fire that he was almost in it. -- Lol, with all this uncertainty and underlying fear, I'm sorry, that made me laugh a little XD *pictures Bill's figure just hoppin' right in*

Oh, and I was thinking last night... Bill's being a Firedancer is separate from being a fire priest, right? Because Natalie said a priest forms a direct bond with their element. Well, the only difference I can see here is that with being a Firedancer one is enslaved and (I assume) even more powerful. So it's still a bond, but a different kind of bond.
Although, wait. If you take away his Firedancer-ness, is he still a priest?

(Still hoping to see what Bill's writing was all about)

Again, you write chaos/fighting very well. I wonder what Tom saw in that brief vision.

The fire sputtered and was overwhelmed. It was out the blink of an eye. -- Holy crap. Truly, I was surprised at first. I thought he was just going to work out how to free Bill at a different time. But then, now I'm remembering what the King said to him. *distaste*

"I had every intention of one day setting you free" -- Bullshit. *glare*

Eep, people dying.

He gave in and the family died for it. -- :'(
Oh, and: Tom's finger's itched > fingers*

Bill didn't want to kill Tom. -- Awww. (lol, that's a good 'aw')

Author's Response: There is so much that must wait for the sequel. Alas. Much of it will be further exploration of what a Firedancer is and what it means to be one. There is more that will go into the sequel but I can't talk about it lest it give something away from the coming chapters. The King's a lying asshole. Luckily Bill doesn't much care for him. Poor Tom. Poor Bill. There is much to come.

Gustav :( He almost died.

"I want to speak with the King." -- Heh, because that really worked out the first time.

"Haven't you caused enough troubled, little outcast," > trouble* And I'd suggest putting a question mark instead.

"I had that man resurrected! I was the one who sought the Firedancer!" -- O__O I did not.. You.. What?

I cringed throughout the king's threats.

The nurse tucked the cloth into her medicine bag and shrugged. "Trade secret." -- Heh, aka Chlorofoam.

(I feel like I'm quoting far too much)

Tom having them get supplies before doing anything; that's smart thinking.

Yay for Tom not leaving him there! :D

edit: I'll have to read the rest tomorrow. I'm falling asleep in this chair.

Author's Response: I don't mind all your quotes, it's kind of nice to know what stands out to you in different ways. How on earth you can go to sleep with the epic ending waiting for you, I don't know. But I suppose here is the best place to do it. From here on out, you're not going to want to put it down between chapters I think.

Eeep! *holds breath* If I were in Tom's position I probably wouldn't have the guts to look in the vat.

His blood ran cold inside his veins. -- My reaction exactly. O_O

A derisive laugh from a corpse. Could he get any lower? -- Lol, okay, I admit, that made me chuckle.

Extra word here (I think): There, why not say just come out and say it?

Oh... I thought if a Firedancer's fire goes out, he/she just expires with it. They're set free? (And do all that damage?) Hmm....

Since it's doubtless the High Priestess is gonna discover he was up there anyway, it's nice that he left the man as is, feeling the wind :) (How was he breathing within that liquid?)

Lol, how many times am I going to think 'oh dear' at the end of a chapter? XD I should say something else.

Author's Response: I'm thinking that you saying 'oh dear' at the end of every chapter isn't so much of a bad thing. It makes you want to keep reading right?

So it was probably not a lover that kept her busy in the Tower if Eccelston was willing to throw himself down on the knife the good of the city. -- Lol, I don't understand what's being said here, sorry.

Gah, maybe she's up there torturing Bill D:

Oh, she's just preparing him for a skit... But still!

That play. *wrinkles nose* Ugh
The effects were good, though XD

What? Who got hit at the end?

Author's Response: Sorry, I was a bit confusing obviously, in a rush to finish the story. She's not meeting a lover because she's already got a lover and she's meeting him at a different time. Tom slapped his hand down on the railing a the end. No one got hit >.< I should work on that.

Gah, I don't like Bill being used as a weapon *curls in a ball*

I've been picturing Bill's skirt to be scarlet, and I'm going the same with his loincloth.

He eyed the dancer from head to toe > Mm... Since you're now talking about Karl and not Bill, I suggest you indicate Karl's name here.

It was a piece of the Firedancer's fire -- O.O ..holy crap.

Mm, I did figure it out, but I was briefly confused when Tom felt pressure on his hand. It didn't mention in the text that he and Bill were holding hands.

*cringes at 'ritual'*

Oh dear.

Author's Response: And the drama builds!

Oh, I had thought the warming orb was the size of a beach ball on a small pillar or something. But then it says there is a *person* sitting inside it. *wonders if they could hear the fire mage if he/she spoke*

Lol, if they're so darn cold, no one is forcing them to stay. But I suppose they want to keep Tom company if he's being melancholy.

Author's Response: Yeah, that's pretty much the reason. They don't get to see much of Tom these days so they have to suffer through what he wants to do whenever they have the chance. There is a person inside. It's really quite terrible. If the fire mage spoke, they could indeed hear him but the fire mage would be punished severely for ruining the illusion and speaking out. On the topic of age that I've failed to address. Tom was about 15 years old by the time he was assigned to work with Bill. He's sixteen going on seventeen I think at this point in the story. About. Exact age isn't excessively important.

I love fantasy, so this story captured my interest right away. I have to say, I haven't read fic here in ages, but I knew I just had to read this. And I was right! This story is beyond amazing, I absolutely loved it! I read it all in one go, because there was no way I could stop, once I started reading it, and when there wasn't a 'Next' button I stared in dumb confusion at the screen, thinking that no way, how could it end already? I am sad to see it end, especially because it's a bit of an open ending here and the lives of the characters are just truly beginning, they're turning over a new leaf and I want to know where it'll lead them! So I would love to read more about them, and I fervently hope there will be a sequel, because this universe you've created is incredible!

Now, let me tell you what I loved about this story (pretty much everything, haha, but anyway…)

The story opened with a good dose of drama, which really piqued my interest. I especially liked how you introduced Tom through the eyes of his family. Great, vivid imagery and easy to follow text - thumbs up :) You have a good story-telling writing style, descriptive and rich yet without the abundance of purple prose.

I really love all the descriptions you expertly weave into the story! Incredible world and character building - I can clearly see the scenes; the city and the characters come alive, it's very cinematic. I love how you introduce Tom when he's in his element — running as the wind through the city streets, playful and unpredictable. You show more than you tell which is what ultimately draws the reader in and makes the story come to life.

All of the secondary (and other) characters introduced, seem well thought out, different and interesting in their own ways. I also like how you add in the little details that enrich the story and the universe you've created (like the Councilor's ugly niece, for example — that bit made me laugh).

The pace of the story — another thing I loved. You don't rush it and yet, you don't draw it out, too much. Each chapter seems well-balanced; you know just when to end one and begin the next, it seems. Vivid scenes like when Tom was almost consumed by the fire, add another exciting layer to the tale. I like that there's also some humor; I admit that after initial spike of annoyance at that Lucas ruining Tom's tunics wore off, I had to laugh. His interactions with Cynthia were also amusing; poor Tom :)

I have no words to express how amazing Bill's entrance into the story was. So, amazing! I think that as I read about his dance, I was as enthralled as Tom, haha. Bill appears to be a very mysterious character! I'd wondered just what role he had in the story when I began reading it, but I never anticipated this! Well done on all accounts :)

With every chapter, we get to see different sides to Tom's personality; the curious side, the adventurous, how hard-working he is and that he doesn't give up easily with taming the fire. I really like that; there's no 'info dumps' that I hate in stories, you take it step by step in and show us, rather than tell!

Bill's second appearance — just as mysterious! It had me on the edge of my seat. I really detested how the fire mages were treated throughout the story. Cruel, but of course fear breeds hatred…Poor Bill, though. I hated when he was referred to as an 'it' (like he wasn't even a real person, just an animal), it's like only Tom treated him as a real person, not a match, or a weapon or an entertaining thing. And his 'living arrangements' were awful. The bit about the stuffed teddy-bear was heart-breaking; all he has is a small toy, for comfort and company :/ Well, now he also has Tom :)

One of my favorite scenes was that of Bill on the floor, drawing and then letting Tom have the drawing. Aw. Another fav scene was the 'bath' Tom gave him, that first time — he was so cute with Bill, talking to him and all.

Mother Savorine and the King - two characters I absolutely hated. When Tom first met the High Priestess I wished he would suffocate her in a whirlwind, hah. Her very first appearance already made me livid. Urgh.

I found it interesting and a slightly irritating that Bill was virtually mute throughout the story. I wanted him to talk to Tom, so much…and I wondered why it was that he couldn't? But it added another layer to the tale, because some actions say more than words ever could. Great job on that!

Tom taking caring of Bill - adorable! But also slightly sad :/ They were both so powerless, then. At first I really liked how Tom could throw stuff into the fire and Bill's mood would changed; but that only lasted a short moment. Until I realized that the fire controlled Bill, and not the other way around. So sad, but such a great twist and detail! I really hated that Bill was the King's marionette! I was smiling (darkly) when Bill finally unleashed all that power and killed him! But oh, the horrible things they made Bill do…:(

"I didn't want to take your air; I'd give it back if I could. I'd give it back and then I'd let you destroy the whole of Viva as long as you were still alive." — that was so heartbreaking! What a moment! And when Mother Savorine appeared I wished Bill would turn on her, and just get rid of the witch already.

I liked how Georg and Gustav (and Natalie) insisted on helping Tom; he's made some great friends, at least! I was shocked at what Tom discovered at the top of the tower! Here when I thought that Mother Savorine couldn't possibly get even worse…Just wow. Another good twist and turn of the plot!

But the King, ah what an arrogant bastard, really. He got what was coming to him, finally. The moment when the ceiling broke and then Tom was desperately trying to do the right thing, was full of dramatic tension. I think I didn't breathe until he finally made a decision to put out the fire, consequences be damned! I cheered with dark glee, for him. The destruction of the city that followed was incredible; I could see it so clearly thanks to all the amazing details and descriptions :) Then when Bill finally stopped and saw Tom, really saw him, was another heart wrenching moment. The realization of what he was about to do, and what he'd done…and how desperately he tried to save Tom…aw.

"I want to die with you on my lips." — my favorite line! I was hoping so much that they'd make it out alive! And together. When Tom was shaping the clouds into animals for Bill, that was another favorite scene. I can't put into words how much I adored it.

This was definitely one of the best stories I've ever read in this fandom! You should considering getting published, your writing is great :) Let me say this again; I am hoping for a sequel! Thanks for sharing this amazing story, I loved it. Sorry this review turned out so damn long, btw.

Author's Response: How can I complain about a long review when you say such nice things? :D I've been a bit worried about how things have come off to the reader. You know, it's my job to communicate all this stuff and when I finish, I get a little nervous that I see things so clearly that I fail to explain it as well as I absolutely can. rnrnYou have wonder things to say, and not just in that they're favorable to me. You cover all the bases in style, content, and characterization which really helps me as an author. I actually appreciate that you took all that time to do that. Now, before this turns into a review of a review, I'm just going to pick one or two of your comments to respond to. rnrnThe first is your irritation over Bill's muteness. The idea was that people thought his inability to speak was a sign of his inhumanity. He couldn't use his words to communicate and most people didn't take the time to watch and interpret his actions. I haven't decided whether or not Bill will speak at all in the sequel. I feel like he should begin to speak but after so long it's almost become a part of who he is. It's really challenging trying to write communication between him and Tom when the conversation's one-sided.rnrnI'm glad you liked that line: "I want to die with you on my lips". I cringed as I wrote it because it seemed so cheesy. I forgave myself and left it in because of the events that led up to Tom saying it. I felt that the line was justified. I guess I'm glad I left it in.rnrnAnd yes, you heard me right, I'm planning a sequel. I've actually started writing it but I don't want to promise anyone anything until I finish it and am ready to post it. Sometime in the course of my busy life I want to find time to pursue publication as well. Looks like I'm going to be a busy girl. Anyway, thanks again for your positively wonderful review! I enjoyed reading it and responding to it immensely.

Only the barest tuft of black hair peeked above the top of the blanket. Tom took a handful and yanked on all of them. -- LOL, you might want to reword that. I thought he yanked on Bill's *hair* XD

Oh, so that is what his neck band is about.

Hmm, is Bill mute or something? (Mentally blocked from speaking, I mean, not physically mute)

What an amazing stroke of luck that he gets to be around Bill all the time now. I would have thought he'd be separated further when his interaction was found out.

Lol, throwing things in the fire. What in the world?

but save a tablespoon > saved*

Oh, and you didn't answer how old Tom is :)

(reply to last) Ah, I must have read too fast and missed when Tom stumbled across Bill's den.

Crack! "Fuck!" -- Well, this can't be good. When there's a sharp crack, I usually think someone's getting whipped.

And hmm, exactly how old is Tom in this? In the beginning I assumed he was 10, thinking of the average age of a rambunctious child. But there are teenage aspects here.

The dancer screamed -- Eep :( I assume it's because his damn cuff is scalding at this point. Or it could be out of fear and frustration.

a river of fire broke off from the whole -- broke off from what? The Firedancer's fire that he's always near?

Mm, again, for comprehension purposes, I think that here: The face was completely obscured by the pale cowl > where it says 'the cowl' maybe change it to 'a cowl'. 'The' implies it's been introduced before this point.

She's a high priestess... Of which element, I wonder. *reads on*

Wow.. another mystery, this time about Bill's neck band of fire. *ponders* Maybe... Heck, I don't know. Maybe it is vital to his existence and he thought Tom was going to put it out.

"If you don't wish to experience all the dungeons have to offer, I suggest you return to your dormitory." -- Pshaw, she couldn't do that >:[

Author's Response: I love reading your play-by-play comments! Although, I must say, I'm a little nervous you're going to find some sort of plot hole that way. Did I not explain something well enough? Will you get x, y, and z references later on in the story? I don't know. All those little doubts. You have a good eye though and an understanding of what could be important for later. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm practically living with my phone in my hand, waiting for email updates. Pathetic, I know, but none of my friends have finished my story. This really is the most comprehensive review I've gotten so far ^.^

ZOMG, a sequel would be amazing! Now I'm even MORE stoked about this story!

XD

Author's Response: That's good! I'm going to start working on it soon, hopefully. While the idea's fresh :D