OMGZ was this the exciting news? I AM EXCITED TOO! I love adventure and fantasy stories, like this one (and especially cuz it's from YOU!)

The mood and fantasy you captured in the dream scene was great! There was this air of air and magic around Tom. Tom's presence really impacted and fascinated Bill, and the way you wrote it, Tom impacted us readers as well.

I spotted an error: when Bill woke up and tripped over the show, he hit the wall which was malleable. I think you put "wasn't" by mistake. Maybe you can write that the wall gave slightly beneath his hands to add to the "malleability" discription... if you want.

I'm really proud because I see you've used some of my proofreading suggestions! This story is so much more professional looking! And it's so cool to see you write something more serious! I got used to your lighthearted humor of Work Out. I like seeing you bloom as an authoress, like your petals are all unfurling as you expand your talent. You're a beautiful pink lily. *koala hug*

Author's Response: I couldn't be happier that you like this genre, because I looove it as well! And I love you, k? I'm very glad that you could see and feel the magical world. I'm going to be as descriptive as possible in this story, so that you guys can see what I'm picturing in my mind. THANK YOU for pointing out the error. Though, I have already thanked you. I'm just gonna keep on thanking you. Cuz you're awesome. And YES! I have taken some of your suggestions and I'm really focusing on making this as professional as possible, since the words are so important to the story. Unlike the sillyness of Work Out. Which by the way, I appreciate you so much for proofing over that. And yaaaaay I am a flower!! I've always wanted to be a flower!! *latches onto* Thank you, deer!