Date: 07/21/11 11:02 am Title: Chapter 1: Romy! Don't watch!
Your summary really drew me in and I love it thus far and it is only chapter 1. I have a but though...don't hold ur breath there most def nothing wrong with the story line. Just that u seem to have put alot in and it's only chapter one. If this is a short fic then it is understandable, just it would've been nice to see these situation drawn out more than a bit rushed. But please do not get discouraged at all, for I have already on the edge of my seat or bed (as I am laying down) with anticipation on what may happen next. Cannot wait for more love!
Author's Response: I'll post the times she waites for Tom but there will be more! Tom will 'kidnap' Romy and take her back on the rest of the American tour with him and the guys. Romy won't speak to any one for a while and my never speak again. She will make bonds with everyone as well. Sorry that was kinda a spoiler but not much. No more from me but thank you for the feed back :D
Date: 07/21/11 06:27 am Title: Chapter 1: Romy! Don't watch!
i like it :)
Date: 07/21/11 04:16 am Title: Chapter 1: Romy! Don't watch!
moore.. :D
Date: 07/21/11 03:46 am Title: Chapter 1: Romy! Don't watch!
WOAH THIS IS SO COOL PLEASE UPDATE SOON I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT REALLY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Date: 07/20/11 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 1: Romy! Don't watch!
Alright- I'm gonna be totally honest here. You're on the right track.
The idea of Tom having a young sister whom takes her father's abuse, in hopes that when successful he will return and rescue her is intriguing. It's a great idea.
But you need do a few things to improve on it. Believe me, I've gotten this advice from other writers- I have had the same issues.
Summaries are meant to draw the reader in within a sentence or so. Some of the best pieces of writing of this site have summaries in under two sentences. Does that mean it has to be THAT short? Hell nah, girl! But it should be to the point. Yours does draw me in, but I had a hard time figuring out the difference between Romy and Anja. Also, the second sentence confused me.
"Tom takes Romy's beatings often, and she feel horrable about it."
Does Romy beat up Tom? That part confused me. Don't forget to use spellcheck, either. Horrable
Author's Response: Thank you for the advice! Anja is what Tom calls Romy when he knows eather she feels bad or is in pain because she likes to be called Anja. When Romy is beaten by her parents Tom steps in and takes the beatings for her. Just to clear things up. I'll fix it! Thanks again!