Date: 09/16/11 06:25 pm Title: The One Hour War
Oh, I probably do have enough rage for the both of us, but it's Tom's moment to fight back for them, not me.
Date: 09/16/11 05:43 pm Title: Snap
I think I'm with Chelsi on this one. I wanted this but this has hit me way too hard and now I can't even see straight. The images of both crying, yelling, the shame, the guilt, the heartbreak...it's too much, but Tom may not realize it, but this is just what they both need.
He will help Bill find his way back home and when the time comes, like all protector's do, he will strike back at the bastards that hurt his brother like this, the SCUM that brainwashed his brother into thinking he deserved this, that he was nothing, to spit on his own being and pray his friends wouldn't leave him....
I'm glad this happened, but shit, I don't even know what to say. It was just as it needed to happen. A moment like this didn't need to be dragged on, because it was heartbreaking in itself knowing that Tom, like Bill, had forced himself to watch it from start to finish, to live every second of such horror, as if that alone could nearly atone for the guilt that now weighs on his heart. He owed it to Bill to cry, to rage, to mourn every single piece of Bill's soul that those bastards stole from him.
The day of reckoning will come, yes and may Tom show no mercy, the same as they gave to Bill.
Author's Response:
Hahaha, whoa! I think you have enough rage for you and Tom both! Maybe we should just sic you on them!
rnBut srsly, thank you for reading so far, and leaving so many reviews! I love knowing this struck a chord. <3
Date: 09/16/11 05:38 pm Title: The One Hour War
Yeah I've read the whole thing and it's fricking brilliant (though one chapter, I had to skim a bit - you know which one).
I'd love for there to be a happy ending in all this somewhere, but I've read your other stuff too. I really don't usually like this level of realism (because realistically, life does suck). Somehow you make me want to read it anyway. Which is disturbing.
Sorry about the parents...
Author's Response:
I can imagine. I'm constantly amazed that people make it, chapter after chapter - it's not meant to be an easy read, and I value realism above all else. Events like these, in real life, are horrible, crippling, life-altering events.Thank you, for giving it a chance, over and over again.
rnI'm glad you read my other stuff! I do believe in happy endings - but I know that it's never easy getting them. <3
rnHahaha, I kid. I got too much love! NOW I HAVE TO SPREAD IT AROUND~
Date: 09/16/11 03:56 pm Title: Snap
Every chapter of this story is a lot like getting punched in the stomach repeatedly. I don't mean that in a bad way, it just has tremendously painful emotional impact. You kept the reader waiting and dying for Tom to know and understand the truth exactly long enough. Excruciating and yet such an incredible relief when we finally see his side.
Still like getting punched though.
Author's Response:
What a glutton for punishment! But I'm glad you've stuck it out, AND left me a review! I love hearing your thoughts and reactions, and of course I love to be praised! My parents just never held me often enough :(
rnHRNGH
Date: 09/16/11 03:15 pm Title: Liquor's Quicker
Have I commented on this chapter? I can't remember, but it breaks my heart. This is a hard story to read and there are times when I just need to sit back and wait until I have enough endorphines in my system to counteract the angst.
Which doesn't mean anything bad about the story at all, nor your gift for storytelling :) It's just so damn effective!
Author's Response:
I was just thinking about you yesterday! I was thinking about tall ladies, lewl.
rnThank you so much! I'm so glad this story is really making an impact. <3
Date: 09/16/11 02:52 pm Title: Snap
It wa a little short, but with everyything you crammed into it all will be graciously forgiven. *claps hands imperiously then waves them in flciking gestures*
oh my god. Tom's head. I love Tom's reaction. It was perfect, and heart wrenching, and everything I expected but so much better. I'm so glad he nipped Bill in the butt about him thinking it was his fault and that they might come back. Tom will not put up with that ridiculousness. He is such a good protective big brother.
And Bill...oh goodness, poor broken Bill. *turns their twin hug into a group hug* Its going to get better now. There's someone he can lean on and-and- and I dunno. But things gotta start getting better with Tom's help.
Keep up the great work. Fantastic as always. bee tee dub I got a fic out there now. You should definately check it out. Its call 'The Nine Lives of Bill Trumper'. Anyway. I can't wait to see more! Keep up the great work!
Author's Response:
Imperious flapping! I AM PLEASED.
rnDude, whoa, thank you. I'm so glad it lived up, I was so happy to finally be writing this chapter, moving things along. Things will be heavy, but they can and will get progressively lighter <3
rnBelieve it or not, I'd heard of this on the grapevine! I'll definitely give it a looksee!
Date: 09/16/11 02:43 pm Title: Snap
Perfectly written... I donīt need to say anything else. It was interesting to see things from Toms perspective, how he tried to understand Bills behaviour and knew that something is bad bud couldnīt find the reason...
Everything was so real, but I didnīt find here something .... I expected some murderous thoughts, revenge or something... if something like this happened to my sister I am sure one of my first thoughts would be "I kill them..." But on the other site - the priority for Tom is Bill, in everything, so I understand that the the most important thing was to comfort Bill...
Great job , thanks.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I always love hearing what you liked and didn't like, or wanted to see, or didn't understand! it helps me grow, and I am ecstatic to know that my story got you so involved!
rnI think once he unwinds, realizes that Bill is in fact here and safe and "saveable" Tom will turn that way, towards thoughts of murder and revenge.
rnThank you again! So much!
Date: 09/16/11 11:05 am Title: The One Hour War
Wow. This was such an intense chapter. My heart goes out to both the boys. Bill will be terrified of the consequences now that Tom has found out, both that somehow he might be attacked again, or that the pictures and dvd might get out. And Tom will be wracked with guilt that he didn't protect his twin and it will be so hard for him to help Bill through this and to help Bill keep it a secret. Damn, I don't know how this will work out. Neither of them will ever be the same again. And if they keep it quiet then Bill won't be able to seek help and work towards dealing with his issues and trying to heal. Your writing is so real it makes the scenes painful but compulsive reading. Incredible stuff.
Author's Response:
Whoa, I'm just... blown away by this review, wow, thank you so much!
rnNo, they'll never be the same again, but they have each other as they always have, and this story is all about being able to heal, and move on, and grow. Things are hard for now, but they won't always be. There are good days and some comfort to be had yet. :D
rnThank you again, so much! I feel like you really read and understood this for what it is, and that makes me so, so happy <3
Date: 09/16/11 09:08 am Title: Snap
Aww. Damn. There's actually tears in my eyes. And I am not a emotional person! Very few stories literally got my crying. I pause before clicking into the story because I know Bill will suffer and an-unfinished kind of suffer. But I can't look away.. so yeah, I am here, heart-aching for Bill.
A terrible hollow feeling in my chest.
How could it takes Tom soo damn long to discover? But I am proud of him to be able to take it. I am so glad that Bill finally have someone to hold on to. Bill didn't deserve any of this.
Please don't make it into another heart-blown tragedy. Bill deserves so much more.I hope I would never see a major-character-death warning hanging. Please update soon and save us on the brawl.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you took a chance on this! And yes, it's a story that can hit very close to home, and be very intense; I want it to be that way, because the subject matter is very real and dark.
rnI think a lot of people just never think it could happen to them, or to a loved one; they like to believe they are in control, and never lose that control.
rnNo, no! Never that. All my stories have happy endings, they may not be perfect, but everything is resolved for the best of all parties involved. Bill will not die! And neither will Tom!
Date: 09/16/11 07:58 am Title: Snap
Oh dear god. There are so many tears Kit, I have a hollow in my chest and I just can't.....damn. I'm proud of Tom, watching that is not something that most could do, and to do that for Bill is rather amazing. I'm so relieved that Bill now has Tom for comfort and support, and I pray that Tom can help him heal. Intense, heartbreaking and amazingly written honey. *crawls into your lap and weeps*
Author's Response:
It's a long, winding, bumpy road, but now they're on it. It won't be easy, but things WILL get better. <3
Date: 09/16/11 07:55 am Title: Snap
Oh my god. I thought I was ready, but...I think I was wrong. I don't even know what to say. =(
Author's Response:
That pretty much sums it up. No one is ready for something like this, besides.
Date: 09/16/11 07:34 am Title: Snap
Words fail me and i'm aching.
Author's Response:
I'm glad? Hahaha. At least it struck a chord... though I wish it didn't resonate for you.
Date: 09/16/11 06:39 am Title: Snap
Ah man. Oh man oh man oh man. So much emotion. Such a raw and brilliantly done chapter. Go Tom. Thanks for the great chapter.
Author's Response:
You are very welcome! Thanks not just for reading, but also reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. <3
Date: 09/13/11 07:04 pm Title: Circling the Drain
*mumbles* why can't there be a reply button?
It's been statistically shown that some of the worse crimes happen close to home. People can't fathom it 'cos they don't want to see it.
How is Tom's finding out worse...? There are just some things that no matter how close you are to someone, and how much you trust them, something inside you stops you from wanting them, or anyone to know.
I see Bill's fears as not being that Tom might feel tremendous guilt for failing his little brother, or even that he might think Bill deserved what happened to him, but simply that he *knows*. What happened no longer belongs solely to Bill. He knows that it doesn't, but the rituals that he's formed, the mantras keep it under control. In his own way, Bill doesn't want to heal, because he's conditioned himself to believe that it was deserved. For someone else to know, that control is shattered, and Tom, being the closest to Bill, is also the worse.
Ugh, don't know if you've already thought of this. Just, the last thing Bill wants is for Tom to see everything that is pathetic and ugly in Bill, however real or imagined. Maybe I should've PM'd this or if it even made sense?
Oh, don't worry, I already know you're a sweetheart in person. XD
Author's Response:
/mutters/ I dunno man.
rnTHANK YOU FOR OPENING UP TO ME AND TALKING TO ME ABOUT THIS. It's very very important to me, and I appreciate the time, and especially the strength it takes to talk about it, even to a stranger on the internet. And for the most part yes, I agree with everything you've said. The knowing is not the same as healing, and sometimes, they're not even close.
rn/gasp/ WHO TOLD YOU I WAS A SWEETHEART they lied
Date: 09/12/11 06:50 pm Title: Circling the Drain
There's a part of me that still can't, still doesn't understand how Tom could NOT know what happened to Bill at the time it happened. It doesn't seem right to watch/read Tom going through his days not knowing and then this - I felt sure that Tom would find out this way. But it's worse...oh, so much more worse.
And every moment of Bill's pain makes my chest hurt and hollow. Every denial, every blame, every shame...makes me want to hug Tom for finally finding out.
I want to stop crying now, 'k?
Author's Response:
I think it's something that people can't fathom ever happening, especially so close to home.
rnPlease, tell me how it's worse! I am honestly curious to know your thoughts and opinions. <3
rnYOUR PAIN DELIGHTS ME but like only because it means I got my point across. I'm a real sweetheart in person, I swear.
rnQuick! THINK OF KITTENS CUDDLING
Date: 09/12/11 04:13 am Title: Circling the Drain
That feeling that everything is wrong. Everything about you is wrong. Tainted, dirty and maybe even worthless. I hate that feeling. That he feels the way he does. I understand and I still hate it. Wary, frightened and easily spooked. Can you imagine living on tenterhooks each day? Waiting for something, anything. And then when something does happen, what do you do? I'm torn about Tom finding out. I really am. It's not always for the best despite what people may think. I'd rather someone found out on my terms... But then i'm a damned control freak like that as OH constantly says, "STOP TRYING TO MICROMANAGE EVERYTHING!"
Sorry for the minor ramble. My brain is in shambles from all the traveling and lack of sleep. I'm finally home! In my bed! And still awake even though my eyes are practically crossing cos i'm so tired. Jetlag is balls.
Author's Response:
I could imagine, but I try not to. And yes, exactly - it's not always for the best. That's going to be a big part of it. Just knowing isn't going to undo what happened, or change how Bill copes.
rnJetlag IS balls! Thanks for reading and reviewing in spite of it! <3 NOW GO TO BED
Date: 09/12/11 04:10 am Title: Circling the Drain
BOOYAH! 100 REVIEWS! YOU GO KIT!
Also, asdfghhklkhd Tom's found out. Ho' shit. 'Cuse me while I get my drama pants on. I almost wish I had held off on reading this chapter until you updated again, so I could've laughed in the metaphorical face of your cliffhanger. Almost. :0) You write too good, I wouldn't have been able to resist for very long.
Lots o' love and Lucky Charms,
Torrie
Author's Response:
One of these days, I should really start noticing these things...
rnDRAMA PANTS ON AND UP! Don't fret, my little chicken nugget. As it turns out, you probably won't have to wait long!
rnLoves a lot and Chucky Larms,
rnKibbles
Date: 09/11/11 08:50 pm Title: Circling the Drain
That last line, that's what I've been waiting for. Poor Tom, I can only imagine what he's feeling right now. The fallout from this is going to be monumental.... I'm scared for them both. *snuggles*
Author's Response:
I can hardly wait to write it, tbh! I HOPE IT WILL BE AWESOME D: Really worried about the execution on this next chapter...
Date: 09/11/11 07:34 pm Title: Coming Home
It breaks my heart to see Bill drowning under the weight of his secret. The fact that he feels unable to even trust Tom to love him and not see what he believes he's become. That Bill can only see himself as broken and used, a vile excuse of a human that deserves no love and no forgiveness. That he's somehow to blame, and that if he just did something differently then maybe it would make a difference. His emotional turmoil is captured so well and I can't read this without breaking out the tissues. It's an amazingly accurate portrayal. *snuggles close and weeps on your chest*
Author's Response:
I'm so proud that you continue to stick it out and review this; I know it's not an easy read, and it's not meant to be, but thank you so much for coming back and reviewing every chapter, so in depth. I fret over this story, because capturing the mindset, explaining something so deep and dark through words is difficult at best.
rn/cuddles you up with daisies
Date: 09/09/11 04:48 pm Title: Circling the Drain
OMG GFHJSDNKJDYSHNFG HE KNOWS HE KNOWS HE KNOWS DDDDDDDDD:
If you take ages to write more of this, I swear I'll... I'll... Idk what I'll do, but you better watch out bro, coz it ain't gonna be pretty.
lol ok bye
Author's Response:
FINALLY IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME /wipes sweat from brow
rnNot ages! I have RL shit to do ofc, but also my FQF, so that takes precedence. But man, you have no idea how excited I am to write the next chapter - you get to see things through Tom's eyes for once! GANZ GANZ EXCITE AND SO FORTH
rnlol ok see you on Twitter