Date: 03/30/11 07:46 pm Title: Sorry
I'm not even sure what to say. You've managed to write something horrific without being vulgar and overly graphic. Looking forward to the rest.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I wanted it to be brutal, and not sugar-coated; but I didn't want it to be so awful nobody would, you know, read it. :/
rnHope I can keep you interested!
Date: 03/30/11 05:24 pm Title: Sorry
My god. This was about as hard to read as 1:14PM by Froggy. Which is a compliment.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the flattering comparison! Why so sweet, punk? <3
Date: 03/30/11 03:00 am Title: When the Music Stops
"That hour had been under their control." Oh no! If I caught the correctly than this wasn't a single attacker assault. I am on the edge of my seat! You have such a way with subtlety its amazing. This site needs more subtlety. Gentle hinting ats and the like. Amazing. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response:
OH THNAP
rn/whistles nonchalantly, sidles away
rnI mean, thank you! Sometimes I lie awake at night, wondering if I'm too subtle. I also wonder what it would be like to be a dishtowel at Bill and Tom's place. Would I be decorative, would they even use me? WOULD I BE USED TO RAT TAIL ONE OF THEM.
rnI don't get a lot of sleep.
Date: 03/29/11 11:37 pm Title: When the Music Stops
Still reeling from this. Bill's inner monologue is painful and sadly familiar. I'm so glad you're posting rather quickly, because, only two chapters in, I'm so into this story.
Author's Response:
I'm torn; I'm so glad to hear you review, and to hear I've drawn you in, but nobody should be able to sympathize with this, and I'm so, so sorry that you can.
rnYour encouragement means so much to me, thank you for being so open.
Date: 03/29/11 11:22 pm Title: When the Music Stops
This chapter is so sad. How could he think that way? Now I really want to know who did it. Was it a stranger? The way he was explaining why he deserved such a punishment its hard tell. His thought processes are completely distorted.
Either way, this chapter was beautifully written. The words you used completely described what I believe you were trying to communicate here. I can't wait until the next chapter.
Thanks for sharing your talent with us; the readers!
Author's Response:
The human mind is a strange thing, and what we consider a soul only complicates things. Reason fails us when we need it the most, and we're easily overwhelmed by our "hearts". I'm glad it came out so distorted, it should - if it makes absolute sense to someone, I think that would be weird.
rnYou're so sweet, honestly. Not even gonna have Frosted Flakes tomorrow, just gonna read this review with a bowl of milk.
Date: 03/29/11 10:04 pm Title: The One Hour War
Me a SALACIOUS JEZABEL...never ;)
I don't really know but after some minor research ( by that I mean a quick google search in less than three minutes) I stumbled upon the law as a law of disorder.
I know absolutely nothing about physics really. I'm just assuming this disorder (this event) will once again gain order and somewhere else disorder...or is he irreversibly disordered now...so sad.
Author's Response:
That's how I like 'em, though. :(
rnIt is in fact a law of disorder! I won't geek out, but I'm totes excite to hear you bring that up, and that you looked it up to begin with! CANNOT SAY THAT ENOUGH
rnAs of right now, I intend for the balance to shift. I like happy endings - I just relish them more after a struggle.
Date: 03/29/11 08:48 pm Title: When the Music Stops
Another beautifully written chapter. Even though Bill's reasoning is so warped, it isn't hard to follow or understand. You handle the subject extremely well.
So Bill's self-esteem has taken a considerable blow...wondering how this will affect his life. I'm really curious to find out what exactly happened to him, and who did it.
Author's Response:
I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear this! Reviewing it this morning prior to posting, I got all anal about it, and was worried I wasn't getting my point across well-enough. And more than anything, I'm glad to hear I'm handling the subject with the care it needs.
rnNext chapter clears up a lot of that! It's not pretty, but hopefully it's compelling. This story is intended as a sort of exploration into how a body would cope, and survive - or not.
Date: 03/29/11 06:39 pm Title: When the Music Stops
Nobody ever, ever deserves it. Just making that well known.
Quoted for truth. Amen. *nods*
Author's Response:
Take me to church, gurl! PREACH.
Date: 03/28/11 06:04 pm Title: The One Hour War
Oh alright... go out with me! *awkward winky face*
Author's Response:
Oh well I do declare
rn/flutters fan, bats eyelashes
Date: 03/28/11 03:22 am Title: The One Hour War
CHINNEAS WAS HERE /pisses on snowbank
Author's Response:
DAMMIT DID I NOT JUST TELL YOU-
Date: 03/28/11 01:26 am Title: The One Hour War
That was chilling. And bloody brilliant. I loved it.
Author's Response:
AWESOMESNACKS.
Date: 03/28/11 12:42 am Title: The One Hour War
That was amazingly well done. You captured so much in such a small span. I absolutely loved the cigarettes, the shower, the repetition of the hour. Your writing is evoking and complex yet at the same time incredibly streamlined and consise. Amazing job. I could really see Bill laying in a tub the way you described him. A-freaking-mazing.
Author's Response:
Your review made me glow from the inside like a firebug drunk on power. "Streamlined and concise", I mean honestly, just admit you like me and want to go out with me already
Date: 03/28/11 12:33 am Title: The One Hour War
What a vivid initial chapter and opening to a new story. Okay, you attracted me with the attention to detail and description of emotions. I can imagine what Bill is going through mentally; psychologically. I'm a little afraid to learn who raped him, but I'm sure as the story progresses I'm going to be waiting on pins and needled for the next chapter (I can't wait already).
So...to learn more about they story I googled the law of entropy and found that Bill atypical behavior is relative this the law :) Not going to say much and reveal the metaphor; I would rather read and see if my theory is correct.
I'm totally looking forward to the entropic events to come I'm sure ;)
Author's Response:
How in depth! LOVING THAT DEPTHNESS.
rnI hope I can keep you as invested in this as you already are! It's rocktastic that you looked up the Law of Entropy. That is my contribution to science. Maybe now Marie Curie will stop leaving threatening messages on my voicemail.
rnOh, but I do so want to hear your theories D: TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, YOU SALACIOUS JEZEBEL
Date: 03/27/11 08:49 pm Title: The One Hour War
I like this; I'm not even sure what led me to read this, since I usually avoid darker stories, but your writing makes it compelling. So far I am enjoying your characterization of Bill, from what we've been able to see of him so far. Theories...I think I'll wait a chapter or two before those.
Author's Response:
I'm glad I siren song'ed you into giving this a chance! I'm really eager to hear what you think especially, as someone who avoids dark stories.
Date: 03/27/11 08:18 pm Title: The One Hour War
Whoa. Your writing is clear, clean and evocative. This is painful and gorgeously written. I'm anxious for more.
Author's Response:
That was lightening quick! Be honest, are you in actuality a bolt of lightening. It's cool, I don't judge.
rnIn all seriousness, thank you so much for the great review! My eyes are peeing salty rivers of emotion right now, and I couldn't be happier.