Date: 05/16/11 12:03 am Title: Liquor's Quicker
*sobs* God this is heartbreaking, I am so worried about Bill's mental health right now, he's majorly cracking and with no one aware of why they really can't help. Though I have a feeling that Tom is going to find out soon, maybe by accidently looking at Bill's laptop and finding a certain video. You capture the pure essence of Bill's desperation to be better, to not let anyone down which is an inevitable fact of life. Just brilliant darling. *smooshes*
Author's Response:
STOP READING MY DIARY, OH MY GOSH
rnNo but seriously, you have such a through grasp on what I'm doing here, and where I'm going with this, I'm so grateful for that. <3
rnThank you, thank you, thank you for all your encouragement. I would be nothing without you <3
Date: 05/15/11 11:23 pm Title: Liquor's Quicker
OMG, I'm crying over this like a baby.
Poor Billi. He feels it's his fault, so he watches the video to make it worse for himself.
I hate to imagine Bill so broken and insecure with himself... Drunk and going to cry to Georg's room... Doubting if Tom really loves him. :'(
:'( :'( :'(
Hope you update soon.
I liked it!
Author's Response:
GOOD, I'M GLAD. In... in a not sadistic way. Honestly. Really.
rnI love this review! I laughed, I cried, it changed my life. I hope I update soon too!
Date: 05/15/11 09:38 pm Title: Liquor's Quicker
Oh gosh.. Bill's mental stability is veering more into an obsession - everything prior to this was normal and common in victims of rape or some other horrible trauma, but now this is.. ack, I can't describe it. He got even MORE unstable, if that's possible. But I guess that's the point.
Tom, however, at this point he should figure out that a form of sexual abuse must have happened. Being extremely fearful of being touched is a tell-tale sign of rape, excepting a few cases.
(And I say 'being touched' because I see Bill doesn't have a problem with initiating physical contact. It's the same with me. Aversion to physical contact is common in the autism spectrum. It's okay if I give a person a hug, but I kinda need to know/see it coming if a person hugs me or else I stiffen and inwardly get all disconcerted)
Long review XD
Author's Response:
It can happen with things you internalize; your focus is spent so much on keeping it hidden and secret, that it becomes a bigger ordeal than it might ordinarily be. Or at least, that's what I'm aiming for.
rnThis is very true! But in this case I feel that the idea is so outlandish so as not to even occur to Tom - something that horrible could not have happened to Bill, it's too impossible to even consider, and Bill would surely tell him if something so terrible had happened to him, etc. Don't worry - Tom will cotton on soon enough!
rn(Thank you for opening up to me about your disorder, I really appreciate your candor, and I love to hear your perspective!)
rnNever long enough! Happy to see I haven't made any glaring typos this time around, hahaha!
Date: 05/05/11 01:15 pm Title: Lest We Forget
I've been really sick and just realized there were TWO updates. I'm so sorry I didn't review, but I really couldn't. I was slightly dead. Amazing as always. So sad its making me want to cry, Bill's characterization is amazing, especially in this interview scene insanely realistic. Great job!
Author's Response:
GOD YOU CAN BE SO SELFISH SOMETIMES
rnJ/K please don't leave me oh God
rnI'm really glad the interview scene came out so well! Realism is a HUGE compliment for me!
rnI hope you're feeling better, dude, it sucks wet pancakes to be ill :(
Date: 05/05/11 02:27 am Title: Lest We Forget
*snuggles you and Bill into a group hug*
He's so stressed about messing up and becoming victim to some form of retaliation, it's terrible. In a way I really want Tom to figure it out somehow but then again the ramifications of that are just to huge to imagine. Please at least let Bill seek comfort *sadface* Loving this darling *sprinkles you in glitter*
Author's Response:
GROUP HUG /ruffled Bill's cupcake
rnWell, you did give me glitter, so... Tom does eventually find out, and Bill does seek comfort - whether the two are related, well... :D
Date: 05/05/11 01:49 am Title: The One Hour War
*blushes* I like you too, so don't worry. It's a good thing and I don't have to read it if I don't want to right? *snuggles*
Author's Response:
D'aaawwww, y sew cute, swee'gir'? IT KILLS <3
Date: 05/05/11 01:11 am Title: Lest We Forget
The twin connection portrayed so well makes it more obvious the disconnect Bill is feeling, and the interview was just awkward. So well done. It's really painful to see Bill questioning everything, right down to Tom. :(
Author's Response:
/mops away sweat
rnWhew! I was really worried about the twin connection - glad it came across so well! The interview was so much fun to write, and the disconnect was really interesting to engineer.
rnGlad you're still reading! You were the one that propelled me into writing and posting so much more! I cannot thank you enough for your welcome!
Date: 05/04/11 05:53 pm Title: Lest We Forget
Oh my goodness. I hadn't expected an update from this for another week after the last one.
Since I study psychology, I can sort of understand almost every thought or action that Bill does, but when he was taking pictures of his injuries I understood it better. Probably because I've thought of that concept myself - to not forget the pain and slip back into dangerous normality. Then you'll make the same mistake again, whether in the physical sense or mentally.
Author's Response:
I was on a roll for this one!
rnI'm glad that you were able to understand him a bit; I worry that his mind isn't easily comprehensible to the reader, that I'm not getting his thoughts and feelings across. So I'm always happy to hear that.
rnAnd yes, exactly. The constant pressure, every minute of every day to cling to a certain mind-set, can be exhausting; but the fear of fucking it up is far far worse.
Date: 05/04/11 11:59 am Title: Across the Divide
This made me cry.
It hurts that Bill is so broken and ashamed that he feels he doesn't deserve his own twins love. That if Tom knew the truth he'd reject him. That's a pain that will never heal, a doubt that will always linger. My heart aches.
*curls up in your lap*
Author's Response:
Not... not literally though, right? D:
rnI'm glad my story can effect you so deeply, but on the other hand I rly sort of like you and causing you distress is massive DNW
rn/strokes your hair, feeds you old Girl Scout cookies
Date: 05/04/11 10:41 am Title: Across the Divide
Yay for non emotionally scarring things!! Poor Bill, having to deal with this by himself. Dealing with that by yourself doesn't work and I'm almost afraid to read what happens when he figures that out.
Author's Response:
I know right? Who knew I was even capable? Jeez.
rnYou'll find out soon, precious. Aaaaaannnnd I just jinxed it. /prepares to lose internet, computer, house, sanity
Date: 05/03/11 04:51 pm Title: Across the Divide
okay this....how can i even explain it? it hurts me to read this. just this entire thing is painful to read. and i couldnt even look away. it's just told so well and everything is clear.... and dammit i wish he'd tell Tom. but i know how it is, you dont wanna tell anyone. you never wanna tell anyone not until you're strong enough to realize that it's not your fault.
and wait, jesus, i think you are my favorite angst writer now. i'm going to add you to my favs list. and now i'm off to read all of your stories.
Author's Response:
/heart stutters at this, overwhelmed
rnThat is a tall order to fill! Thank you, so so so much! Are you processed sugar cane, why are you so sweet, pls quit it, my body is not equipped to handle this
rnThank you for leaving such a great review! You keep me going, and restore my failing faith in my writing. <3 I cannot thank you enough.
Date: 05/03/11 12:28 pm Title: Across the Divide
This story is so intense, and I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Author's Response:
I love love LOVE your handle, first off! Secondly, thank you! Next chapter should actually be up shortly!
Date: 05/03/11 06:31 am Title: Across the Divide
Yeah, so, I think you need to get out of my head... This story is drudging up a lot of bad memories and I reacted pretty much the exact same way Bill's reacting, so kudos for accuracy? You've done a great job of capturing the numbness and dissociation that sets in right after.
This is definitely showing your range as a writer. It's very well-written, if rather depressing and completely lacking in the sarcastic wit and humorous phrasing of Cupid's Chokehold or the creative and extraterrestrial subject matter of Peculiar Stars. It is good to see that you aren't constraining yourself to one writing style. You've done a great job of not making it melodramatic without treating it flippantly either. It's a difficult subject matter, but you've done well with it so far.
Author's Response:
Who says you're not in mine? While I can appreciate that I managed to achieve some accuracy, I appreciate less that something I wrote made you feel something so terrible, I apologize for that. Experiencing it the once should be enough.
rnThank you for that; it's not something I consider often, my range, but I'm glad it's something you've picked up on - and that you've read my other stories as well. I'm so relieved to hear I've nixed the melodrama; it's something I'm constantly aware of with this story. I strive for realism as much as possible - I'm glad I've at least achieved something like it.
Date: 05/01/11 01:25 pm Title: Sorry
Your description of Bill's reaction and talk with David is disturbingly accurate.... now that I know what happened I want to know why... I shall keep reading.
Author's Response:
Please do, and let me know what you think!
Date: 05/01/11 01:14 pm Title: The One Hour War
That was the most beautifully written horribly sad scene I've ever read in my life.
Author's Response:
I am sadistically pleased to hear this. Always happy to know I've struck a chord. <3
Date: 04/29/11 03:18 am Title: Thanks for the Memories
Oh god. Bill. Bill, what did you THINK was gonna be on a freaking random CD lying on a bed only certain people could know you were going to use. I just feel sick for him.
You're going to be sick of me saying it, but every chapter, I'm blown away by your writing. Damn good stuff.
Author's Response:
I'm glad! That sounds weird! BUT JUST TRUST ME ON THIS, IT'S A GOOD THING. For me. Not for you.
rnGurl, you crazy? NEVER. I will never ever tire of being told how awesome I am. TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE /Grease
Date: 04/26/11 03:59 am Title: Thanks for the Memories
My heart is breaking for Bill. That he feels he's all alone in this is devastatingly awful. He's not going to be able to hold it together and I only hope that Tom is there when he breaks. This is painful to read but a testimony to your writing that it's so emotional. Great update darling *curls up in your lap*
Author's Response:
Thank you, so much! I had my doubts about this chapter tbh; I'm overwhelmed that you got everything I was trying to convey, thank you so so much for all of your support - I don't take it for granted! <3
Date: 04/25/11 10:07 pm Title: Thanks for the Memories
PS: Couple bitty mistakes ;)
who naturally turned into Tom - Oh, this kinda made me laugh. 'Into' should actually be two words, 'in to', since at its current state, it would be saying that Bill literally transformed into Tom. Or you can use 'towards'.
busese - *buses
Also, when Bill came out of the bathroom and said he wanted to go to the hotel, I was thrown in a loop, heh, since I thought that that bathroom WAS in the hotel. That it was Bill's suite's bathroom.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I still struggle with the little things, the Devil is always in the details. ಠ_ಠ
rnI'll fix these ASAP!
Date: 04/25/11 09:51 pm Title: Thanks for the Memories
I'm kinda proud since I was able to know what that meant even without looking at the chapter title.
And I knew what it contained right away *cringes* Bill! Tell hiiim!
Author's Response:
Gratulation! :D
rnI'm glad it hit you that hard! And I can't thank you enough for all your support and reviews! You're awesome, dude!
Date: 04/25/11 09:48 pm Title: Thanks for the Memories
OMG, poor Bill T__T
Author's Response:
What, no, that festive bitch makes a grand just for smiling
rnoh
rnno wait I get it
rnYeah. :(