I liked it very much ^.^

Hmm, interesting. I guess this was what I expected when I started reading: an ok story. There were good parts and bad parts. It started off cute and happy and fun, and I love when the twins are silly and mean in a competitive playful way with eachother, but then it was a bit of a turn-off that literally the story turned into porn within a paragraph... too fast of a transition for brothers, even ones that have a history of being flirtatious. :( Too fast for anyone. I took it with a grain of salt for the benefit of the story, which of course was gonna be all smut. Still, it would have been nice for the entire story to be longer and more drawn out, feelings to be more detailed, your characters to have more conscious thought. I liked the plot, cuz lets face it- who doesn't love a shower sex scene?? Lol. I also loved the pain aspect, cuz I'm a bit naughty like that, but the down side to that was that it seemed a bit amateur to just shove your dick somewhere with no prep or foreplay if any sort. Literally what you wrote was them jumping in the shower, Bill trips and lands on Tom's butt, they hump a few times and then Bill just whips out the lotion and sticks it in, they come at the same time and then love eachother. It doesn't sound so good......
In the middle you had some great descriptive imagery, but then you ruined it with something like "Bill opened the bottle and put a generous amount in his hands then slowly moved his hands up and down his own shaft, watching Tom through his lashes" which for some reason makes me imagine Bill making motions as if he's ironing his cock with a flat hand... "moving" was probably an incorrect word to use and it creates a distracting and unintentionally funny image. Oopsy. You did that a few times, odd/wrong word choice... kind of like, ok, you're reading along, all is good, and then you trip on a pebble, and then you keep reading and then you trip again...etc. It just ruins your flow, which is a shame cuz you're not a bad writer I don't think. Specially ordered lotion/shampoo- that was another one that bugged me. Lol.
My fav part and my biggest praise goes to the kiss at the end. The fact that Tom kisses Bill on the forehead and not the mouth speaks volumes. It's so classy and meaningful. Beautiful. It's like 1000 words of their history in one image.
My last comment is on punctuation and typos.... Too many!! I don't think you put in ONE apportrophe when writing *Bill's* or *Tom's*. It's just not professional to not spellcheck.
Ok, that's my rant. Editing needed, but in the end I cute little fic. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your honesty :) I know it's not the best because I'm horrible with grammer and the program I used has shitty spell check and i will admit I rushed the story. Maybe I'll remove the story until I have it fixed.

*blink*... *blink blink blink* oh holy geez that... that was kinda really hot. There really needs to be more botTom *nod nod nod*

Author's Response: I'm sorry, I didn't even know what botTom stood for. I just started entering stories on here. I'll add it now, thanks for the warning