This was alright. It started out ok, with Bill having his little crush n all... I figured after Tom started giving him love lessons they would get closer and things would get awkward and they'd experiment for the sake of "teaching", while you would lay in a few more clues that Tom is crushing on Bill instead..... but that's not really what u did. After the twins started dancing, you completely lost me. It was as if I had missed reading about a page of text cuz suddenly they were kissing and hard for eachother. Too fast!! You had a good plot going, but you can't rush into brothers in love, esp when Bill already has a huge crush on some chick. You gotta give it time for him to loose focus of her and find himself more interested in Tom and write in all those lovely thoughts we all love to read about, where he's in denial about his brother turning him on, etc. Feels like I missed half the story. :(
The ending (everything after the twincest) was rushed again IMO, but it was cute. I'm so happy it was Tom who showed up by the tree and said "let them see", it was adorable!! But there was also the Bill/Andy pairing that was completely unnecessary, and yeah, that seemed a bit like filler around that part, cuz why would Tom even concider telling anyone? Why have Bill tell Tom they "can't tell mom"? Duh.
Also, I think that when you pasted your story into THF to submit it, somehow all your paragraph formatting was erased, cuz there werent any breaks between paragraphs. :(
Nevermind, it's ok, I'm focusing on the bad parts too much. This was a cute story with a happy ending! :) I do feel that it should have been longer and more drawn out though, so the reasons for the twincest could be better understood.
Good job writing this, it was fun to read, and you have tons of potential as a writer! Really. :)

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thanks SO much ^-^ my first piece of creative critism ^-^ It's nice to get something back, and don't wory about pointing out the bad things...i wasn't too sure if this was a good piece anyway but thatnks for pointin g out what i can change to make it better, it means a lot...and thanks for the vote of confidence ^-^