Date: 02/02/11 10:10 am Title: seven.
OH GEEZ THIS WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! i literally pissed my pants in joy!!!! God i love this story soooo muchhhhh!!!!!
Author's Response: ;) ahaha thankyou. sooo much for all your amazing reviews! :DD
Date: 02/02/11 07:54 am Title: seven.
OMG
This is why I like Aphrodite so much
she has everythinh in life but a good llok, she's aware of the situation and doesn't feel good about herself
But she has feelings , very strong ones for Tom and she hasn't realized that yet
Tom should tel her the truth right now before he regrets anything cuz he's gonna like the girl, fall for her when he discovers what a kind heart and beautiful sould she is
But he's gonna end up breaking her heart
So :
1 option: she weeps so much she lose weight and turn out into a A+ bomb
Option 2 she leaves the school and come back one year later diffrent and Tom falls for her, she makes him beg and then leave him
Author's Response: hmm, i shall consider those options ;D haha
Date: 02/02/11 12:24 am Title: seven.
awww this chapter was beautiful!!!! :D, I0m happy that they finally had an decent conversation :D
Author's Response: :) thankyou, yes it's amazing to see the mgetting along after so long.
Date: 02/02/11 12:06 am Title: seven.
don't worry i like your story always..:)
Author's Response: && I love your reviews always ;)
Date: 02/02/11 12:02 am Title: seven.
Aww Gustav did good =) I'm glad they genuinely like each other now, but Tom has still yet to be honest with her. I'm anxious for more now.
Author's Response: ;D yess, there's still alot to happen.....dun dun dun :D haha.
Date: 02/02/11 12:02 am Title: seven.
ayieee hihihi love oh love i can feel it..im excited for your next chapter..i love skittles..yummy
Author's Response: ♥ :DD Skittles are amazing!;)
Date: 02/01/11 11:56 pm Title: seven.
dawww ok that was a cute chapter. I dont like the fact that i kinda wanna smack Bill upside the head, and then there's sweet Gustav lol. Cant wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: ♥ haha Gustav is just a sweetie.
Date: 02/01/11 10:57 pm Title: seven.
So sweet and fluffy! This is really cute. =D
Author's Response: awe, Thankyouuu!
Date: 01/31/11 10:07 pm Title: four.
ha! that's what a jack ass gets
Date: 01/31/11 09:59 pm Title: three.
AWW! THAT IS SOOOOO CUTE... Tom is rude.
Date: 01/31/11 09:20 pm Title: one.
jeeze I would've punched Tom right in the nose
Author's Response: That would've hurt! But he wouldv'e deserved it ;)
Date: 01/31/11 08:21 pm Title: one.
Hey,
It's me again. I read the last few chapters and the authors note that you left in one of them.
My intent on reviewing something is never to "discourage" the writer. I just believe that reviews are mad for telling what you think of the story and giving your commentary of said story. I never-when I review- want someone to end their story over something I've said. It's happened once, before and the person I was talking to took out of porportion by calling me a b*tch and all this stuff. Although when things like that happen I admit that I do turn around and become angry with the person. I feel that it means that you won't take criticism well and you won't grow as a writer.
And trust me. I take a heap load of criticism every time I write a story. I'm an 18 year old freshman in college and though my major isn't creative writing. I know it's hard to get what you're trying to say out. And I know it becomes a chore to try and update and please someone. I ended up reading a few of your reviews after I read the chapters. And I agree with the other reviewer. You do write your story only for yourself. And you do know your characters better than anyone. But as readers, some of look for a little more clarity. And I try to tell other writers about it. Because it's hard not knowing what someone really thinks.
So, yea, I am a writer and I have written a few stories on this site. And dear, just because I give you a review for editing doesn't make me a know-it-all. Or that I think I am the best writer out there. I know you didn't say that, but some people think it. I'm not that good of a writer. I try to be and practice makes perfect. But I think I would have still been stuck at writing fragmented sentences and not understanding the point of a semicolon against a comma, if it hadn't been for some guy on another fiction site. That left me a decent size review on what not to say while writing and certain words to exclude. And also how to get your point across. I thank that guy for telling me what no one else would.
So I guess that's the reason why I write such long winded reviews trying to point out everything I caught and saw was wrong. I don't mean to offend you and I certainly didn't mean to depress you enough to make you want to quit. I think anyone who tries can become a good writer.
Sincerely,
Azriellia
P.S. I know it's another long message, but I just wanted to let you know before you thought I was a jerk or something.
Author's Response: (: No I understand, I am really thankful you took your time to write me that review. I am glad you pointed out my mistakes, I really am. I always go to school, and walk into my English class hoping my teacher will teach us how to write, I do enjoy writing and I wish I had someone to teach me but there isn't. I guess I wasn't used to being told my mistakes and it brought me down.. (I also wasn't having a good day that day, so you can imagine my disapointment) but again, Thank you. I am working on making this a better story and developing my characters so the readers are able to understand. I re-read all my chapters and i saw where you were getting at. I must admit I did do a sloppy job at describing the characters... I am now working on that, but I promise you I won't give up! :D I think I need to learn how to take critism in a better way, and learn from my past mistakes, I can't just continue doing the same thing I've been doing when someone took their time to tell me what was wrong, I think that you did this becuase you saw the potential in me. And you had faith in me and you know that I can do a way better job! ♥ I hope I didn't sound rude to you in the past response? I was never trying to sound rude, I was just caught off gaurd. I was having a horrible day and yeah I was disapointed! But nonetheless, thankyou for taking your time to tell me where I went wrong and to guide me into becoming a better writer! -Jumbie
Date: 01/31/11 06:14 pm Title: six.
hihihi i love it so much reading your story again and again...:)PERFECT!!AMAZING!!GREAT!!!SIMPLE!!i like it...:)
Author's Response: ;D haha that's cute. I'm sorry I'm taking long to update!
Date: 01/31/11 05:08 pm Title: six.
Hun, don't be too hard on urself u're doing a great job and it's so nice of u to take the time to write, update and stuff
I really enjuoy that story that shows Tom under a different light
I guess that must be very close to da real Tom Kaulitz indeed
Author's Response: (: thank you. ♥
Date: 01/31/11 07:36 am Title: six.
just let me say that writing is not about pleasing others, it's about pleasing yourself...if you catch a few followers along the way, so be it...
I have to say that it had to be a scary experience taking someone to the hospital...especially if you don't know them very well...but it all turned out ok...and talking with her mother...i understand why her mother kept pressing the issue...she only wants what's best for her daughter...
Author's Response: ♥ thankyou. and yeah I have NEVER experienced something like that, and hopefully I will never it sounds like a terrifying experience! All mothers want the best for their daughters... It's in their blood.
Date: 01/31/11 06:31 am Title: six.
THANK GOD you updated!!
This is my favorite story on this site. It's so amazingly well written. Please, please, please tell me you're going to update soon? Do you know when? This story is really keeping my sanity! I LOVE it.
Author's Response: haha! Well then I guess I need to update eachday! We wouldn't want you to walk around with out your sanity ;o haha I will try to keep you sane by upadating quicker! :D ♥
Date: 01/31/11 12:27 am Title: six.
I read the review that the other girl left for you. I don't think that she meant it to be harsh or discourage you from writing. I think that an easier way to sum up what she had been trying to tell you was that the characters are a little hard to follow at times. Some good advice for this is that you know your characters inside and out. You have created them. Even though you know them so well, you just need to keep in mind that the readers don't know them like you do. Write them as if we (the readers) don't know what you mean in certain situations.
Criticism should be taken in a way that the reader is excited about the story and plot, but they just want a little change to make it clearer. I hardly ever give criticism on a story, unless I'm asked for it. Writing is a gradual skill that takes practice. You're doing fine for your level. Don't expect to immediately change into the best writer overnight. For that reason, the prior review was a little out of line.
Don't get too bummed about criticism. It's only meant to help, not hinder. Please do not give up on this story just yet. Even if you can't match up to whatever that girl's expectations were, this is a good story. (And I don't even read het).
That was totally off subject of the story. This was kinda just a filler chapter so there is not much to review on. I would like to see how Tom and Aphrodite's relation advances with their backgrounds in mind. I also think that Aphrodite is smart enough to see through Tom's play to get close to her.
One last question, how do you pronounce Aphrodite? Is the "e" silent on the end? Just curious.
Jayden
Author's Response: Yes, I understood that now, to be honest I think I like your honest review better, it sounds nicer x) uh, no I was just having a lousy day that made me feel bad, but I got over it! :D Thank you! && yes, the 'E' in Aphrodite is silent:)
Date: 01/30/11 11:49 pm Title: five.
O wow! I can't believe how much of a b**** Aphrodite is. I don't even feel bad for her anymore. Everyone is trying to tell Tom that beauty is on the inside, but, so far, Aphrodite hasn't been nice to Tom once. Sure Tom's been an ass, but she's acting the same way to him. I think they both need a lesson in inner beauty.
Author's Response: I agree! :DD
Date: 01/30/11 11:39 pm Title: six.
Review? Hell yes! :D i love this freakin story...i'd marry it if i could bbut sadly i dont think that would work out cause well...yeah. But anyways lovely chapter babe keep up the good work because i love it!
Author's Response: hahah, i'm pretty sure it wouldn't work out, I dont think the story would be faitful to you ;D haha thanks ♥