Date: 08/23/12 09:13 am Title: Just a kiss
can I reprint this story so more could read ita292;pleasea311; puppy eyes~~~
Author's Response: I'm not sure what you mean? Reprint? *scratch my head*
Date: 05/22/12 10:44 pm Title: To tell
Jorg better the hell be the adult that finally does something about all this. I'm so glad Tom told him.
Author's Response: Yeah, he can't just ignor the fact that his son has been abused, can he? I'm glad too, and I'm glad you are still reading this. Thanks for your review!
Date: 05/22/12 03:07 pm Title: To tell
Updated!!! I thought you abandoned it, thanks god you are back :D
Great chapter I love the fact that Tom could talked about what happened to him with his father. Something that I don't remember clearly is if Bill knows that Tom was raped, I think he have the idea that Tom got something with Gordon but I don't remember well if he knows how the things happened, well I guess I'll have to read it again ;-)
I bet that more lovely chapters of Tom with Georg are about to come, I can't wait for that!
I'm glad that you are still here and that you are not planning to leave this story. Thanks for the update, it was awesome!
Author's Response: No, I haven't but there have been a lot going on, beta problems and a dead laptop to mention two. But I have finished the next (waiting to get it back) and almost all of the one after that, so I hope there will be more regular updates again, this is really my baby <3 Bill knows something has happend, but not exactly what, as far as he knows, he is the only one who have raped Tom. And Georg... of course there will be more chapters about them, bot lovely and maybe not so lovely. I'm glad you are glad and that someone still are reading my story!
Date: 05/20/12 02:39 pm Title: To tell
*sigh* You're breaking my heart, woman! I can feel it crumbling in my chest.
I loved to read you bringing Jörg into this picture and somehow the whole chaptrer was full of forgiveness, some kind of salvation. It was very painful and like confesing the sins, but also reliefing. I don't know - I love this and I hate this, because this both made me happy anmd broke my heart. Thre last scene, OMG... Maybe, maybe Tom will be safe from now on? That's all I wish for. I love his character here, so fragile, bringing up so much of my motherly instincts.
I'm glad to see you updating this. This is my heart wrecking fic. :)
Author's Response: I'm sorry, or no, not really, but htis is a heart wrecking fic, I'm afraid. I'm glad you could feel that, I think this chapter in some way is hopeful. I mena, it's so awful, but Tom do have someone he can trust, someone who should do anything and everthing to help him. I'm glad you like "my" Tom, as you know, this is in someway how I see him. And I'm glad to beeing able to updat, this is my baby, and I'm glad you still reading it, thanks!
Date: 05/20/12 04:28 am Title: To tell
I was just thinking about this story yetserday and wondering if you'd abandoned it because I know you find it emotionally difficult to write. I'm so glad you haven't because I'm hoping for some kind of happy ending for both the twins but especially Tom. I am so happy he's told Jorg and its nice to see their real father portrayed as caring and understanding for a change. But Tom is just saying 'he' so will Jorg know who he means? Will he realise Gordon's the abuser? And even if he does can he actually do anything to help Tom escape? Would he have the twins live with him? That would be so great if Nicole was up for it. It's so sad that the only thing the twins share now is an eating disorder. I so hope they get rescued soon. Great chapter. Thank you.
Author's Response: I would never abandon this story, it's my baby in a way, but you are right, it's hard to write and I still have problem to get it betaread, there are not so many who likes to beta a story like this and those who can doesn't allways have the time, to well, I update when I can and are happy if anyone still reads :)I think that is the way there relation ship was by this time, there are lots of photos of Jörg and his sons from difrent places around this time and he wrot on there guestbook and so on, I want to show that side too. (I have written another story about Tom and his relation to his father today, it's beeing betaread right now, maybe that can be interesting too to read?) And you are so right, Tom isn't really telling him who hurt him, and I think the question is if he will? Jörg has already asked him if he wants to live with him instead, I don't think he cares about what his girlfriend says, it's his sons, after all. But we will se, thanks, I'm glad that you are still reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me!
Date: 02/05/12 08:58 pm Title: Like father, like son
Come on Georg, you are my only hope for Tom.
Great chapter can't wait for the update ;-)
Author's Response: thank you, and yes, I think he is for all of us for the moment. Thansk for your review, I'm glad you are still reading :)
Date: 02/04/12 01:43 pm Title: Like father, like son
It's a battle between beauty and disgust. Fear and hope. I think the constant fear and insecurity are the most difficult part to deal with in your fic. Just like in here I want to believe all the good thoughts Georg is having, but I'm constantly on my toes. What to trust and what to not? We are all so good and so bad at the same time that the complexity of it is hard to deal it. I'd rather save it to real life, to the moments of disgust when I realize my own badness in me.
And there is hope. Something beautiful. I hope it'll last...
Author's Response: I think you point out something important in this story, the complexity of human nature. Not even Gordon is only bad, there are something in him thinking he is doing the right thing, he acts out of goodness, just like Georg, who really are a good person, sombody Tom loves, in the next moment can hit him, or maybe even wores. rnBut at the same time is hope so important, I guess that is what keeps Tom alive in this story, he truly hope that sombody shall help him, someone like Georg, now then he knows his mother wasn't to trust. rnThanks for your review, you know they means a lot to me!
Date: 02/01/12 10:25 pm Title: Like father, like son
Tom needs someone to love him without hurting him, Georg will hopefully be good for him!
Author's Response: Oh, yes, he really does! I hope so too! Thanks for your review :)
Date: 02/01/12 07:18 am Title: Like father, like son
Such a betrayal for Tom that his mother doesn't believe him about the abuse when he's obviously been traumatised by something or he wouldn't be slicing himself up. Made me feel sick the way Gordon showed seemingly innocent affection and the social worker fell for it. Lovely that Tom and Georg's mum struck up such an empathy, and the way Georg forgave Tom tried to protect him from the fallout when his parents were fighting. And the boys sleeping together was just so sweet and tender, two traumatised souls comforting each other. A great chapter and looking forward to the next one.
Author's Response: Yes, it is, but I guess Simone just can't face it, she was the one who brought Gordon into the twins life, maybe she feels gulit therefore, and that is not always a easy feeling to handle, it's so much easier to blame the child instead. I guess Georg needs Tom just as much at Tom needs him. Thanks for your review, it means a lot to me, and I hope it won't take to long before I can post the next chapter.
Author's Response: Yes, it is, but I guess Simone just can't face it, she was the one who brought Gordon into the twins life, maybe she feels gulit therefore, and that is not always a easy feeling to handle, it's so much easier to blame the child instead. I guess Georg needs Tom just as much at Tom needs him. Thanks for your review, it means a lot to me, and I hope it won't take to long before I can post the next chapter.
Date: 01/30/12 01:20 am Title: Home, sweet home
Poor Tom. I enjoy graphic and gritty and this is both.
Author's Response: Yeah, I feel sorry for him even as it is I who wrote this *s*. Glad you like it, and thankse for your review!
Date: 01/28/12 03:24 am Title: Home, sweet home
I am holding you to your promise. its the only reason i am still reading this. tom has to be allowed to escape at some point, and heal. please.
Author's Response: Oh... I'm sorry you feel that way, but yes, somehow he will find a way to deal with all of this, how, then and for how long, we will see about. rn
Date: 01/28/12 03:21 am Title: Who he really is
I am so absolutely disgusted by David. He is supposed to be taking care of those boys. makes me sick.
Author's Response: Yeah, but I'm afraid it isn't that unusual, that teenagers are used by managment, producers or others in that industy. Doesn't make it any better, but I'm afraid Tom is far from the only one :/ Thanks for your review!
Date: 01/26/12 04:58 pm Title: Home, sweet home
I haven't reviewed this yet? Why I haven't reviewed this?
Woah, once again a strong, emotional chapter. It is somehow feeling like breaking them all to pieces. Watching it all slowly falling apart. The confusing battle between emotions - is this what Tom wants or not? - and a certain regression, losing something of yourself. It's emotionally really challenging. The abuse is so strong, so cruel... yet, it closes to sexual. It closes almost purifying in a way. Primal, I guess.
I hope there will be some better times ahead for Tom, because he really deserves it.
Btw, I admire your skill to bravely go into territories very few writer want to go. It's like even abuse is often clean, nice and acceptred, but inm here it is simply harsh - witrh all usually silenced details.
Author's Response: I have no idea, but I'm glad you did :) I'm glad you say so, that it is so it appers to the reader, I don't want this to be a simple story, I just don't think it ever is, there are a lot of emotiona and relations that not always is so simlpe. I guess a part of Tom also want to please Gordon, not sexual, but in a way that makes him love him? rnThank you so much, there are things I have a hard time to write too, but I do try, even if I'm somethimes afraid it will scare the readers away.
Date: 01/24/12 12:58 am Title: Home, sweet home
I have just read your story and it is like a guilty pleasure to me. I know what happens to Tom is wrong, but I want to read more!
Author's Response: Oh, but I see that as something positive! And there will be more, a lot more, both bad and good for the poor child :)rnThanks for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me then somebody does!
Date: 01/20/12 04:12 pm Title: Who he really is
Goodness, I loved it!
Also, for some reason I never got the notification that you replied to my offer about beta. Of course, you found someone :D just know that if you need another one, I'd be happy to. I loved the chapter!!
Author's Response: Thanks and oh, I see. I'm so gratefull for your offer, and I will keep that in mind, thank you so much! And thanks for your review, I'm so happy then somone reads my stories :)
Date: 01/20/12 04:01 pm Title: Home, sweet home
Wow.. That was very detailed, but I still loved it. Horrible content, but AMAZING story! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Yeah, I know, this is an awful story, isn't it? But there must be some good down the road for Tom, mustn't it? Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: 01/20/12 12:19 pm Title: Home, sweet home
Such an intensly sad chapter. I think the insights into Gordon's thoughts are almost more disturbing than seeing it from Tom's perspective. its truly scary that the man can make himself think he's doing it all for Tom's own good. Right now I just want someone to storm right in, rescue Tom and slice Gordon into tiny little pieces and feed him to Scotty. Amazingly well written as usual, and can't wait for updates.
Author's Response: I think so too, Gordon is so disturbed in this story, and I really think he belives that he both love Tom and are doing something good for him. Hm, feeding him to Scotty was in interesting idea, but we see about that ;-)rnThank you so much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me!
Date: 01/15/12 11:56 am Title: Who he really is
Yay, this is back! I've been weaiting for this...
Though I also realized when reading this that I'm soon verging my limits to take it. nOt that I keep it necessarily as a bad thing, but I noticed how I started to felt that the abuse is getting so devastating that it's hard for me to deal with the whole structure.
It's interesting. In a way - as separate incidents - I can take a lot, but when it cumulates like this, it styarts to break my heart in a whole new way. I read the previous chapter again beforte this and gotr probably more upset thahn I did on a first time, I don't know why.
And now this, dead ends on every durection. Something close to hot - David with his finger in Tom's ass and other hand jerking off - and yet so, so, so incredibly wrong.
Yopu keep confusing me and I just might break my heart before this ends. And I appriciate a fic that can do that to me. :)
Author's Response: Yes, it sure is, and I'm so happy about that, this is after all my baby :)rnrnAnd I understand how you mean, I'm posting this at Lj too right now, and reads through the chapters as I post them and yeah, it's a lot to take in, I guess this is one of the darker fics here right now. And this phase, or time period, from Christmas until Febuary (in the fic that is) is worse than the rest. Or no, ... or well, shouldn't say to much I guess :) rnBut if it makes any one feel something, if it gains that reaction from you, then it is something I take as positive. rnThe next chapter, that I hope will be up with in a few days (whenever my beta have time to help me out), are actually dedicated to you, I hope you take that the right way, I simply hadn't writen that part like that if it wasn't for you (so in a way you have saved poor Tom from something even worse.) rnrnThanks for you review and for reading, despite the nature of the story!
Date: 01/10/12 04:33 am Title: Who he really is
I have just read through from the start of the story. You are a very talented writer. I can feel Tom's confusion, his pain - both physical and mental - and its hearbreaking. I can't believe David did that to him too. No wonder Tom feels he must be to blame when everyone seems to want that from him. I'm glad you have decided to continue with the story; its too good for you to abandon. I'm really hoping for some kind of happy ending although Tom will bear both the physical and mental scars forever. I also hope he and Bill can somehow make things right despite what Bill has done to Tom. Bill is hurting too and probably just as fucked up by his upbringing with a disinterested mother like Simone. At least Bill hates himself for what he does to Tom and punishes himself for it. Gordon just doesn't think he's done anything wrong. Its so, so sad that Georg isn't there for Tom like Tom needs but then really he's just a kid himself. So, yeah, its hard to read but absolutely compulsive so please update again soon. Also its nice to find another older writer.
Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for your review! I'm glad you read the story the way I hope I written it. Unfortunally it isn't so uncommon for someone who been abused once to be it from others, I'm not sure, but maybe it is something in their way of behaving that signals that they might get away with it? Don't knoe, but it's interesting. And I'm glad you can see that Bill in someway also are a victim in this. Of course Georg should been there for Tom, but yes, he is only a child. And his consider what happens at his own home, maybe it is too much for him to deal with even more abuse? rnI will try to update soon, now then I have a betareader it will be so much easier. rnAnd the same to you, nice to see someone else who passed the teens!
Date: 01/09/12 02:45 am Title: Who he really is
Thank youuuuuuu, you have no idea how much I like this. I'm happy as hell to see that you are back and that you found a person who is helping you with this.
God David is a perv I think is worst or exactly the same as Gordon, so disgusting!... Poor Tomi I can't imagine more bad things for the boy
Author's Response: Oh, I'm so happy to hear that! And I'm so glad to finaly find someone who not only want to help me but also can. Yeah, David is bad, really bad. Even if I don't think he sees it like that, he only buy what Tom sells, so to speak.