Date: 10/27/15 10:10 pm Title: He's a bit of a secret
Great chapter! Sorry it took so long to finally read this.
Date: 06/11/15 06:28 pm Title: He's a bit of a secret
Tom was in desperation I feel so sorry for him and her, they ar ebing torn apart. And her old self is forever changing and Stefano made a good point one that is so obvious but that is so blurred to her, she is in love with Tom if she wasn't it wouldn't affect her so much as it did that last phone call. I know that Tom loves her too, so Jensen is not a natural blonde she dyed it blonde from what I understand on the convo I hope you are descriptive of her appearance change in the next chapter :) LOVE LOVE LOVE the update. :)
Date: 12/23/14 02:54 pm Title: He's a bit innocent, a bit culpable
“In two weeks’ time you will be 21, and that boy and the rest of his band will come under your ownership,” of contrivance exposition my father was always the best narrator. “If you refuse to assume the reigns of the label, it will be dissolved and them with it.”---I KNEW IT!!!! I KNEW IT!! This is what I wanted to tell you! I have a feeling Tom knows who she is which is why he is so mean with her remember that one time Tom had said so excited hi to a man and that man basically trashed him I think that was her dad. But man omg shit is gonna go down! I love the way you write I learn new words all the time and I love the way your mind works!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEE UPDATE SOON :D
Date: 07/29/14 03:32 am Title: He's a bit comforting
OMG! I literally gasped when I saw you updated, LITERALLY LITERALLY lol. Ok first thing first Casey is a bitch I am still mad at her, and yep I still know why Tom is mean to her I KNOW! you gave it away in one of the chapters but you have to read carefully, very carefully. I think Tom was going to say I love you, come to think of it I think Tom has grown to love her. All that time spent together trust me theres some feelings and not the hate feelings but love affection feelings that he is just so scared to look into or wont allow himself to think it much less say it. And I think Jensen subconciously knows as well. I love how you finished the chapter so sweet, I know its probably a long ways but I just cant wait until they get past all this and they can finally admit to each other what they feel. There cannot be nothing, there is something. Anyway loveeee that you updated :D update soon!!!
Date: 07/28/14 02:23 am Title: He's a bit comforting
Fantastic as usual!!
Date: 02/13/14 05:52 pm Title: He's a bit paradoxical
Fantastic!
Date: 02/04/14 06:17 pm Title: He's a bit sharp
Wow my comment got cut off -.-
I said, amazing story and I read it all the time! And if I may ask, what is your process when figuring out a plot?
Xo
Date: 02/04/14 06:15 pm Title: He's a bit sharp
Not gunna lie, I must keep a dictionary handy when reading this but that's what I love about it. It sure helps me expand my vocabulary, plus you put them in all the right places.
Date: 01/07/14 03:54 am Title: He's a bit paradoxical
Checked this site one day just to see if my tracked stories updated then bam... here I am. I thought you abandoned the story but thank god you're still here. After reading this chapter, the title made more sense on Jensen's side. I gotta say this chapter shocked me a little. Is Jensen a princess? hahaha I never would've guessed she has that past she's running away from. Please update when you can :)
Date: 01/05/14 01:44 pm Title: He's a bit paradoxical
Omg I think I connected the dots! as to why Tom is mean to her!!! yes even after reading all this i connected the dots with Tom.. I KNOW I KNOW OOH MAN I WANNA SPILL IT!!! I KNOW I KNOW!!! PLEASEE CAN I SAY OR CAN I EMAIL YOU PLEASEEEE :D I THINK I GOT IT!! BTW i am utterly surprised about Casey and I feel bad for Jensen..if i were her i would run away screw and forget everyone i would leave in the night and run away with nothing more than a backpack. Her life sounds suffocating and her parents sound scary. BUT YES I THINK I KNOW EVERYTHING I KNOW I KNOW.
Author's Response: Feel free to email me if you wish to do so, I'd be happy to discuss your theories :-)
Date: 01/05/14 09:07 am Title: He's a bit paradoxical
Im glad you updated, and kind of in shock over the new information :)
Date: 10/16/13 12:32 am Title: He's a bit sharp
I'm going to leave you some constructive criticism, if you don't mind. I'll say something I like and something you can improve on (in my opinion) okay? :)
With all news, its better to hear the bad first.
Although your style is gorgeous, at times it is a little overwhelming. There is a difference between being poetic and overcooking something. For myself personally, majoring in English, I found it a difficult read due to the intense vocabulary and elegance you put in your story. At times it fits beautifully. At other times not so much. Having a story that is meant for leisure reading that is too esoteric can impede the reader’s comprehension! Another thing that bothered me about the flowery of the language was when it came to Tom. One of my personal pet peeves is making characters OOC and this happens quite a bit. You should keep in mind that not only is English Tom's second language, but compared to the rest of the Tokio Hotel boys, his English is horrible! I can understand his thought process being eloquent (as it would most likely happen in German) but for him to speak in such a high degree (that is extremely uncommon for young people) is an inaccuracy.
On another hand, your story is horrifically gorgeous. It's disturbing. truly. At times I even had to stop for a couple days because it got that fucked up. However, it has an addicitve quality and the plot is very interesting. I want more but at the same time I can't help but shake my head screaming 'WHY!!!" Why hasn't Jensen called authorities/deals with it, how can Bill stand and basically do nothing, how can Tom be that fucked up? But unfortunately, I keep wanting to read more!
Good job! Hope that both these perspectives help!
Author's Response: First all all, I'm very grateful for your words. I have a deep appreciation for constructive criticism and any pointers that can aid me improvement are happily welcomed. rnrnI admit to often getting carried away when I write. To be honest, sometimes I don't even realize it. With leisure writing I give myself far too many liberties and let inspiration run wild. As you pointed out, the result can be overwhelming. I do notice the flamboyance when I got back to read, which in occasion compels me to revise it. Of course I'm guilty as charged, and my inclination is such I can't bring myself to change a great deal. Nonetheless, I'm currently in the midst of revising this story, taking some color out of the chapters and basically attempting to tone it down a bit. Being that this is my guilty pleasure, it won't be easy but I'm making an effort as I understand it will improve both the story overall and the reader's experience .rnrnNow I must confess is not all just my style of writing but also the first-person point of view I write in. I try to have my main character influence the vocabulary, in doing so I try to convey not only their personality but their assimilation the story's development as well as central aspects of it. The Jensen I introduced in my first few chapters is undeniably different from the Jensen in the last chapter I submitted. The reason is I aim to have my main character harmonize with the story as it progresses.rnrnAbout Tom's vocabulary, it is out-of-character and unrealistic for the real Tom, but in the context of my story his eloquence is justified. As with Jensen, the way in which Tom expresses himself is tied to the story. I don't mean to have Tom appear as if he is naturally that eloquent, he is not and there is plot behind it. Characters like Bill, Casey, and David don't speak that manner purposely. The details behind Tom's vocabulary will be explained. I take care to account from this kind of departures. Give it a little time and hopefully you'll be surprised. Trust me, I've over-analyzed this story profoundly.
Date: 10/15/13 03:20 am Title: He's a bit gluttonous
Omg I am left speechless! it has to happen Tom and Jensen are to be madly in love with one another! But in the mean time make them hurt till love is the only answer! But hope you update soon! Love the story also :))
Date: 10/03/13 09:43 am Title: He's a bit gluttonous
Thanx for the update! Love it!
Date: 08/25/13 07:55 pm Title: He's a bit gluttonous
Thats right Bill say it!!!...since its the last chapter and in your notes to every chapter is you apologizing for taking too long to update..then I would assume I wont be seeing another chapter for a while :(...but anyways i want to say that your writing is utterly AMAZING. It really is..theres a word for it..a word that I want to use to describe your writing its there I know it! But i cant seem to get it just right...hmm I loved this chapter there is only a small amount of writers that write this good that do HET..please dont ever convert to slash :(...I cant wait for this story to finish and for your next to start :)Update Soon!!
Date: 08/25/13 07:42 pm Title: He's a bit sadistic
awww man Tom said no..i feel bad for Jensen though im sure she was expecting a different answer.
Date: 08/25/13 07:27 pm Title: He's a bit cynnical
Tom is in LOVEEEE in L O V E he has got it BAD!! :P and Jensen is so oblivious to the fact *sigh* cant even see.
Date: 08/25/13 03:01 pm Title: He's a bit vengeful
omg i cried :,( damn you Tom! Damn Roman girl :,(
Date: 08/25/13 11:47 am Title: He's a bit unpredictable
I like Bill in this one :D