Love this chapter so much! The conversation they had in the barn was great-none of the anger I expected. Looking forward to the inner battle Tom will have and how that all plays out when its time for Bill to go...thank you for a great update!

Author's Response: ^_^ Thank you! I'm glad you loved it!!

aww tom! finally! gawd ,they sre so incredible cute :') i love them and i love this! can't wait to read more

Author's Response: Hee, thank you! I'm so happy you love them and the story :D

I truly love your deep descriptions in every scene. I'm also loving the slow development of Bill and Tom's relationship - so different to many other stories out there. Can't wait to see if the fantasy can last :)

Author's Response: Awe, thank you! So glad you love the descriptions. I know they can get a bit lengthy at times! :)

Lol, omg, I love John, he's just... he's so funny! "I mean, really, a kiss, LOLOL" haha! He seems like he'd be a really sarcastic (good-natured) fellow; he's certainly very witty!

Poor Tom, though, going into a marriage he doesn't even want because he feels like his natural attraction is wrong. And poor Bill, too, feeling so much guilt; and it just keeps piling up! D:

Author's Response: ^__^ I'm glad you like John. I don't think I've had anyone mention him, whether liking or disliking him. But I like him. He's a bit of a comedic relief, I suppose XD And really the only other character besides Bill and Tom who gets any airtime in this... :x Hee. But yes, poor Bill and Tom, especially Tom... *huggles boys* D:

I just want to say, that my roomie has a subscription to the Rolling Stone, and we totally giggled over it for a week when it came in the mail, and would hide it under her bed whenever we had guests, because we didn't want them to think it was porn. XD So I can relate to Bill's horror, there.

I'm so curious to know what's up with Tom! It almost seems as if he is no longer afraid to like Bill, just that he's disgusted with himself. I'm so curious!

Author's Response: Lol, my subscription ran out before that issue, but I saw it in stores and was all bug-eyed like "holy shit, they sell this to anyone?" Oh, the horror... XD Ooh, I raised your curiosity. But I'd say you're along the right track with that thought. *nods*

Hee, Tom is gay, isn't he? that threw me off for sure! The entire time, I was assuming that Tom would believe he was straight, meet Bill, and develop feelings for him; I never really thought to consider that Tom might be gay already! SURPRISE lol.

Author's Response: *fist pump* I surprised you. SUCCESS. XD

OMG I have no words for this *____* and I don't know about Bill, but Tom is sooooooo in love :3

Author's Response: XDD Oh, Tommmm... lol, thanks for reading though!

Heehee! I'm positively writhing in lovey fluff. So sweet and beautiful

Author's Response: ^__^ Awe, thank you!

Fantastic update! Thank you so much. This story is getting more and more interesting indeed.

I would like to know though:
1/ what specifically is Bill feeling so guilty about?

2/ how come is Bill staying for such a long time with Lapp's; was it Daniel/Deborah's initiative?

3/ how is Bill perceived by Tom exactly; is it just a sexual thing based on Bill's attractiveness and all those bottled up feelings and urges Tom has been suppressing for such a long time?, or is there more?

It is very interesting how subtle and vague you are about Bill and Tom and their true motives for the feelings they have developed towards each other, it is very intriguing. I am guessing that they both like each other but they are not sure where they stand on that matter. It must be very confusing for both of them. There are so many options for further development in this story. It can go in so many different directions.

I have a feeling though that this story won't turn out to be an excessively sweet/happy ending/predictable one at the end. It starts more or less to remind me of those "personal growth and gradual development" stories when two people meet under certain circumstances in time(when Bill suddenly enters Tom's life seemingly from nowhere just prior Tom's wedding to Anna in this case)in order to learn a life lesson from the encounter and not necessarily ending up happy together.
The way you write Bill and his gentle, non-obtrusive way towards Tom makes me believe that maybe Bill came to Tom's life, being all gorgeous, tempting, free-spirited, adventurous and GAY just to shake him in the last second, remind him of his true nature and merely help him to break free. I start to perceive Bill as Tom's savior angel, as a triggering agent rather than a true love interest. You have not mentioned a single time that Bill would be drawn to Tom in THAT specific way to make me believe that they might eventually fall in love with each other for real. Bill surely likes Tom, admires him, respects him and is also attracted to him but I am not sure I can detect any sort of pull on Bill's behalf. It is quite obvious to me that the way Bill is with Tom serves a very specific purpose in this story. He is tempting, but he is not taking any initiative himself, he is not aggressive, he doesn't send any signals of invitation. He is just there to reflect, to raise questions, to care rather than actively seduce.
Hmmmm, I am not sure what Bill would gain in return from such an encounter with Tom? Possibly an interesting experience, a chance to altruistically help someone in matter of self-realization?

Would I be happy if this story headed this way? I am not sure. It would be logical, natural, understandable...but I am such a twincester and Tom/Bill shipper at heart I am sure I would be still a little crushed.

I am apologizing for yet another lengthy comment and if this review of mine seems a bit/ a lot self-sure and too presumptuous or if I misunderstood totally, let me know and I will erase it asap.
This story just intrigues me to no end, it is so interesting and thought- provoking. Thank you for the experience.

Author's Response: THE MONSTER REVIEW, HECK YEAH! Now time for the monster response. XD And no, no, nooo, don't ever assume your reviews are too self-sure or presumptuous; you're allowed to take guesses at the plot and the characters and where everything will go. That's the whole joy of reading, isn't it? So no worries, love. :) Okay, now onto your questions. 1. Bill's guilt - it's a mixture of, well, just about everything. He's a temptation for Tom to act against his morals and standards, obviously. That kiss that evidently meant a whole hell of a lot to Tom doesn't quite mean so much to Bill; to him it was just another kiss. Plus now we find out why Tom dislikes outsiders so much, and now we can assume Bill at least occasionally reminds Tom of the outside world and everything out there and Ruthie, of course. Annnd to top it all off, he represents this life that Tom's been denying himself for years and years on end, bringing back all of these urges and desires and thoughts that until now Tom had had a pretty good handle on. Maybe Bill's not coming right out and saying he knows he's doing all of this to Tom, but hey, we can usually tell when we cause some sort of negative reaction in another being, right? Okay. Hopefully that clears up 1! (sorry this'll be an annoying large block of text! I've tried entering in responses before and it never seems to work. *sigh*) 2. Well, Daniel's certainly enjoying the extra pair of hands to help out during the harvest and just around the house and barn in general, and Deborah's too sweet to send this poor boy off on his own. Plus, I don't think Bill really minds the break from his journey all that much, and maybe deep, deep down he's feeling some sort of reason to stay? Perhaps. ;) 3. Hmm... this one has got me thinking. A lot. And while there is a bit of personal interest from Tom, I think a lot of it is sexually based. BUT, it's not just "hnnngh, homg, wanna fuck that boy" thoughts, it's way more than that, because Tom's never grown to think that way and with his morals and principles and all of that, I doubt he easily would. He's probably a little... scared? nervous? to think like that. With Bill, for Tom it's more of this hybrid slightly sexual interest - Bill's so different from anyone he's ever known, and he's getting the chance to explore and find these facets of himself he was always previously afraid to confront. Does that make any sense whatsoever? I hate to say that he views Bill in only a sexual way, because it is more than that. Tom just doesn't like showing many emotions, does he? Or talking. That's a bit of a problem, which leads me to your huge discussion of their relationship. (And I'll just step right out here and say that I love that you called Bill Tom's savior angel. *suppresses a squee* That's oddly adorable.) While at the moment it may seem that Bill is just there as this savior angel of a sorts to help Tom see his true self and to break free (potentially, at least), never fear that there very well could be something there. ;) First of all, he's not wanting to just step up and act as he would around any other boy; he's resisting his own "pulls" and urges because he doesn't know how to act around Tom all the time; he's nervous, afraid of stepping out of line and pushing too far. And secondly, right now a lot of what he's acting on is mere attraction, but think about it - how much does he even know about Tom? How often have the two of them just sat down and talked? Assuming interest and attraction beyond looks and sexual urges is founded on the basis of learning more about a person, Bill doesn't have all that much to go on right now. More than half the time they talk, we only learn more about Bill and practically zilch about Tom. So maybe if Bill gets a better taste of who Tom really is, besides this admirable, respectable Amish man of high morale who's actually gay, maybe then we'll get to feel a tad more of a pull on Bill's part. Phew. Okay. Hopefully I don't come off as... I don't know, condescending? I hope not. I'm working out some of my own troubling thoughts with these characters whilst trying to explain it to you. So hopefully all of that answers some of your thoughts and questions, concerns, whatnot. Finally, thank you so, so much for reading. And I happen to enjoy your lengthy reviews; they're quite thought-provoking themselves (if that wasn't obvious from this response!)

Haha, I knew Tom was doing something bad in there ;D
I don't know if I've ever felt so bad for someone in such a situation before because now I know why Tom hates everything from the outside world so much.
That's totally understandable, I'd probably feel the same ._.

Did Bill really not realize what Tom was doing in there? He must be really blind or deaf or whatever then^^
But that also makes the whole situation kind of funny xD

I feel like this review is really not worth its name, since I'm not feeling too well, and I still want you to know that again I enjoyed reading it :-)

There's only one thing: I'm getting confused about what Bill is feeling guilty about. Because he is a temptation for Tom to act against his morals? Because he thinks that to Tom their kiss meant more than to him? Or because he probably confronts him with the death of his sister everytime they see each other? Or is it all that together? I think it is, but I'm not sure...
No matter the reason, it's so lovely that he's feeling guilty and not trying to make Tom "forget" about his morals and his community.
He's showing some selflessness too there!

Author's Response: Ehh perhaps not *doing* something bad, though I wouldn't deny that something bad sent him in there. (If that makes any sense. whatever. point is, don't assume he was jerking off, kay kay? XD) Gahh, poor Tom. *huggles* Aww, no, the review's fine. Even if you left a single word or even :D I'd probably still be thrilled! I do love your reviews, though. ^^ His guilt, right, just like you guessed; it's all of that together and then some. Like it's also that he's more than just a temptation; he represents this entire life that Tom has suppressed for YEARS on end, and he so easily brings up all of these smothered desires and urges and unwanted thoughts, and he knows this, even if he's not so willing to admit such aloud. Hahaa, he is showing some selflessness, isn't he? Huh. He did that on his own - I hadn't written it like that on purpose! XD Thanks for reading and reviewing, love!! I hope you're feeling better. :)