Date: 08/31/10 12:41 am Title: Chapter Three
I think you guys need a beta. In all three chapters there are many, many slip-ups in tense. It makes it hard to read.
And why would anyone be sad about Bill's death? I thought they were supposed to be banished.
Author's Response:
David LIED. It was stated he LIED, he said that Jorg to make him feel bad. They didn't banish them. They're still the princes...rnThank you for your review! It really helps. I'm going to try my best to fix them, and if it's still not good enough an extra comment stating so would be helpful! :) Thanks.
Date: 08/30/10 10:32 pm Title: Chapter Three
of course there's going to be consequences...there always are...although i think it's a splendid plan...but that's just me...
Author's Response:
Date: 08/30/10 10:23 pm Title: Chapter Two
wow...that's harsh...and to have the boys watch...that's even worse...but being that's how things are done around there it's acceptable...i feel for the boys and what's 'supposed' to happen to them...if it was a lie, what's actually going to happen...just a question that i'm sure to find the answer to if i just keep reading...so i will...
Author's Response:
Date: 08/30/10 09:13 pm Title: Chapter Three
Ahh so that's how Bill marries Tom...please don't let them be caught and slaughtered 0_o I can't bear it
Author's Response:
Date: 08/30/10 09:11 pm Title: Chapter One
I love love love it!!!
you guys are awesome and this story rocks my socks off..look I'm here and my socks are all the way over there *points across the room*
*face palm* sorry, I think I had to much sugar *head desk*
Let me try that again,
Hey guys! another great, well written chapter..
I'm loving the progress of this story..
*gives you coookies*
i honestly can't wait for more X
Author's Response:
rnThank you so much for the chapter!!! YOU BE AWESOME SAUCE *huggles your pants off* :"3
Date: 08/30/10 07:49 pm Title: Chapter Three
The twins should have just taken some money, abdicated and went somewhere to live in peace. I'd have said screw the kingdom that murdered my mother and imprisoned my father!
Author's Response:
Date: 08/30/10 06:22 pm Title: Chapter Three
oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh O_O what consequences???!!
How old are the Twins in this chapter?
Author's Response:
Date: 08/27/10 01:10 pm Title: Chapter Two
They made them watch?! O_O
*tracks* ^.^
Author's Response:
Date: 08/27/10 03:12 am Title: Chapter Two
b-b-but, why the mommy?! D: OMG the last words she said.. I love this story, so interesting, and sad at the same time.. just awesome, the combination of blood, drama, and love is amazing. :D
Author's Response:
Date: 08/27/10 02:56 am Title: Chapter One
OMGG!! this is awesome!! so violent, and cute!! I like little twins it's cuter. :D awesome fic so far.!! :D
Author's Response:
Date: 08/25/10 01:28 pm Title: Chapter One
im speechless,WOW...just wow!!
BRILLIANT CHAPTER!! this story is getting interesting..
so Jorg and simone are siblings?
I cant wait for more X
Author's Response:
Date: 08/25/10 08:35 am Title: Chapter Two
D: NEIN!
I thought Tom and Bill would be the rulers?? But then again, I don't know what shall happen next, do I?
:P
WAIT! Were Jörg and Simone siblings? Or did I totally misread it :/
Eh, never mind.
TILDE CANNOT WAIT FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER! *nods head*
Author's Response:
Date: 08/25/10 08:10 am Title: Chapter Two
Ohh I see where this is going, history will repeat itself with Bill and Tom.
Fun fact! Did you know when having your head cut off for the first minute-minute and a half your head is still alive and you are able to still see,hear,and feel what's going on. A scienctist during the French Revolution proved this as when beheaded he told his friends he'd try to blink as many times as he could. He blinked for a minute and a half.
lol the thought of Simone blinking rapidly as only a head at Bill and Tom. Imagine the looks on their faces
Author's Response:
Date: 08/25/10 02:17 am Title: Chapter Two
Poor Queeny! D: Actually, I feel more bad for Tom and Bill, having to see that :/ Woot for more blood! Also, yay for longer chapters and quick updates! ^^ I was like (: when Simone was saying she's not ashamed, like, "You go girl!" but I would never say that out loud >.> -cough- Anyways~ I still like, let the Tom and Bill adventure begin, wooo! But slaves?! D: Can't wait for moreee! x3
Author's Response:
Date: 08/25/10 12:39 am Title: Chapter Two
Okay, I thought the mother was already dead? Wow, this is going to be epic, I could just tell by these opening chapters. Though I wish the chapters were longer:( this story has all of the potential in the world to be great!
Okay, so Bill and Tom are banished from their own country? Now I'm rather curious as to how Tom will become King. Lastly, I want to ask if these chapters are flashbacks or are they the present? Is there going to be a time progression into the future or are we (the reader) going to journey through the entire thing with the character? That was just something I was wondering about.
Anywho, I'm so excited about this story, do write more, I'm patiently waiting for an update already. Yeah I know I'm demanding, but I love this story already!
Author's Response:
cherry: OMG big review how much love there is. :) No, the blood in the first chapter was blood of injury, not death... I wish I could write them longer, but I have another fic "Whatever Happens" and OWL has "One Beneath it All" that are longer chapters if you would check those out. ^_^ Plus school... and too much writing. xD /ramble.
rnThank you btw. Not banished, if you read correctly Bishop David was lying about them being banished... Um, flashback.. present... Flashbacks. No, there will be a time skip of some sort.
rnThank you so much for this nice review! :) And your questions. :3 Reviews are every four days look out :D
Date: 08/24/10 11:25 pm Title: Chapter Two
Onh!!! poor Bill and Tom... It must be terrible for them to see their parents be beheaded like that O_O
srsly, I'd be traumatized for life O_O
Author's Response: OWL: that's the exact reaction we are hoping to emphasize :) im glad its working!!! Thank you so much for the review!! *supertackleglompage* <33
Date: 08/24/10 06:07 pm Title: Chapter One
Well you gave me blood, so I shall give you your orgasm ;D I'm bummed it was so short :/ Really descriptive, I like it alot, I can't wait to see what comes out of this ^^ Ahh I love little twins! They're so adorable and...twinny like! x3 Old time setting, another plus. This is pretty much the start of my idea of a perfect fic, so update soon? :3
Author's Response:
cherry: I'm actually waiting for my co-author to long on so we can update now. XD We are supposed to update today.. still waiting. ^^
rnI gave you blood? o.o XD Yay orgasmmm XDDD Next chapter is longer! Little twins :3 Old time settings give fics a more story/book like theme which I like. :D Thanks so much for reviewing and making us jizz again XDD Lmfao. :3
Date: 08/22/10 12:59 am Title: Chapter One
Awww, I usually don't read king queen stuff, but have a feeling that this will be greaaaat :D
I hope to read more soon, it's sad that Simone had to die D:
Luvv you both :D
Author's Response:
Date: 08/21/10 10:14 pm Title: Chapter One
Sounds interestig. Looking forward to seeing this unfold...
Author's Response: cherry: TENTH REVIEWERRRRRRRRRRRRR *glomp attacks you* Thank you for your review and looking forward. :D ;)
Date: 08/21/10 05:04 pm Title: Chapter One
*flails*
I'm deeply deeeeeeeeply intrigued :O Keep going! I shall review MOAR when you post more :3
Author's Response: cherry: FALENN. OMG. FALENN. XDDDD Thanks so muchhhhhhh :33333333 *loves on yew*