Date: 08/12/10 06:32 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really like it, it's awesome and this sex scene is so much better that the last one, you've improved a lot, I just love it, hope you continue it soon
Date: 08/11/10 03:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hmm.. that was interesting..I am interested in what you have in store next for this great story.. And I will ready the other on also.. Keep up the good work
Date: 08/11/10 01:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
They move fast! Lol! Excellent job and I can't wait for more! :)
Author's Response: yearnTom is the town slut so, yea he moves fast
Date: 08/11/10 10:28 am Title: Chapter 1
How 'bout more soon PLEASE!!!!!!
Date: 08/11/10 09:29 am Title: Chapter 1
This reminds me to much of the show !!!
Date: 08/11/10 09:24 am Title: Prologue
Hum, sorry to say this but, do you know that you basically just copied from that gay show "Queer as Folk". I like this chapter but it just like the show which i really liked so. ^_^
Author's Response: ja thats why i decided to do the storyrndont worry, later in the story, there will be more stuff thats not in the show...excpecually the ending
Date: 07/27/10 11:35 pm Title: Prologue
Okay, be prepared for my harshness since you asked for my review.
First off, you are not supposed to switch POV's. I suggest you read the "Point of View Guide"
http://fiction.tokiohotelfiction.com/viewpage.php?page=pov
Also you may want to look into a beta reader. You don't have tons of mistakes but they are there.
Overall you could have something good going but you need to develop it more and have better outlining.
Also I would say look into some HTML coding. It's great for line breaks and italicization.
Author's Response: HTML coding?
Date: 07/27/10 12:57 am Title: Prologue
Ready for the next chapter-wonder how long Tom's rule~ "never fuck a guy more then once" is gonna last?!
Date: 07/27/10 12:24 am Title: Prologue
good beginning it gives me a feeling of mystery and it keeps coming back for more.
Date: 07/26/10 05:40 pm Title: Prologue
Queer as Folk inspired =
Author's Response: YeprnQueer As Folk is my favorite show
Date: 07/26/10 04:21 pm Title: Prologue
Good job! I liked the beginning.
I look forward to more, Sie! :)
Date: 07/26/10 03:23 pm Title: Prologue
This is definitely the start of something good. Maybe Tom will have more than a quickie with Bill.
Date: 07/26/10 02:36 pm Title: Prologue
nice.... hehe i like it
Date: 07/26/10 02:35 pm Title: Prologue
i love slut tomi xD
and I giggled at the queer scene part :)
update soon?
Date: 07/25/10 10:34 pm Title: Prologue
Well, I really can't gain enough from this chapter to come up with a name for your fic, sorry Sie. I have to say it's quite interesting though.. I don't know QAF but I hope reading this fic will make me want to know more about 'em ;) UPDATE?
--Jilly
Date: 07/25/10 10:32 pm Title: Prologue
Sounds interesting so far... I'd love to read more. :)
"I can change that" LOL. xD
Date: 07/25/10 10:29 pm Title: Prologue
I think that its a good start to the story... a story that i would def read in the future...as for names for it i can't really help you there, sorry :'(
Date: 07/25/10 10:17 pm Title: Prologue
(and I was here, too.)
I lurk. THat's what I do.
Author's Response: ROFLMAOrnyea i noticed...i hope to see you more on THF chat. i love it when you come there!
Date: 07/25/10 08:55 pm Title: Prologue
OOH...THIS SOUNDS INTERESTING...CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHERE IT GOES! and fuck i left my caps lock on and i dont feel like retyping it without the caps lock. lol. anyway...i have no idea what you should name it but this sounds like an interesting idea. cant wait to see where it leads!
Love,
Ashley
Date: 07/25/10 03:46 pm Title: Prologue
liked it.:D name for it not sure yet.