Date: 06/08/11 05:28 pm Title: Chapter 3
Hmmm, I didn't know what to think when I started reading this fic. It's good, but I wish there would have been more twincest, and that you had created a stronger bond between the twins. They broke up after Lyla left?? That's so sad. :(
I loveeeee the beginning of the fic tho, where Tom's about to jump Bill in a hurry --so Hot!!!-- but then Lyla walks in. Oh man, that is like the number one scariest thing that can happen to someone boning their brother! Lol. Well written.
I liked Lyla's character, but for me there was waaaayyy too much Tom/Lyla instead of Tom/Bill. Booooo. :( Also, the introduction of Oli, who is obviously from a different fandom, threw me off a bit. :(
Oh well. It was still a good fic. Well done. :)
Date: 11/27/10 12:43 am Title: Chapter 1
uwahhhh! wasss gonna happen?? lot of tension, i like it
Date: 11/22/10 12:21 am Title: Chapter 3
I'm sad that Tom and Bill broke up. i'm glad she got her happy ending, but it feels like everyone got their hearts broken for nothing. good story though.
Date: 11/21/10 04:59 am Title: Chapter 3
eh, I was more hoping for slash. :/ But then it was all het with this Oli guy... and the twins were no longer.. together.. I was hoping Bill would fuck her up or something.
Regardless my opinion on the ending, it was still a nice story for your first! ^_^
Date: 08/13/10 12:18 pm Title: Chapter 2
Well, that's nice of her. *eyeroll* She be a bitch. Couldn't she had come to terms with it and just gotten into a threesome with them? SHEESH -.-
Anyway, back to the CC:
Once again, everything is extremely fast-paced. One thing you could try is going through their day, action by action, and show how worried they are. For instance, maybe they're in the studio and Bill drops/knocks over his coffee, or Tom keeps hitting the wrong notes.
Try to prolong the angst, if possible :3
~Annalas
Author's Response: sadly, she wont be coming to term with it, and there isn't gonna be a threesome *sigh*, which is truly a tragic thing. i really like your idea, and will most likely add a prologe :D
Date: 08/13/10 12:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
Welll... ohgod dun hate me for the constructive criticism:
I think it's a good idea. I really, really do. BUT. Here's a few things you might want to think about, either for your next fic or if you ever rewrite this one:
Firstly, maybe you should write a few chapters about the normalcy of them first. For instance, you could start the same, but have Lyla walk in immediately after, and NOT catch them. The way you wrote it, it could be taken that this was the first time they tried anything. It's usually better to show, rather than tell.
The first chapter is very fast-paced, but I worry that it might be TOO fast paced. Try to slow it down a bit, and lead up to the action.
Hope that helps :3
Author's Response: i could never hate constructive criticism! thank you so much for your help :)
Date: 08/12/10 11:08 pm Title: Chapter 2
I like Lyla because she was calm a bit more mature about this [even though she didn't talk about to them or anything]. She simply left and didn't cause "much" drama XD I'm sure you have plans later though and I can't wait!
I just realized "Que Sera, Sera" is like Curse's "Whatever Happens".. Well, the title anyway XD
-- Jilly < 3 :D
Author's Response: i do have lyla plans ^^, and im almost done with the last chappie. it explains all >.
Date: 08/12/10 10:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
I lika dis a lot!
THE FIRST SENTENCE CAPTURED ME DEAREST!
Win!
Author's Response: you are win for reviewing! yay for D!
Date: 07/26/10 03:51 pm Title: Chapter 2
Yay for the dedication. xDDD Thank you ;3
Lyla... usually I don't like OFCs, but I can make myself like them... I don't mind Tom/OFC but Bill/OFC makes me sick. :P
Anyways...
Hmmm.. really interesting so far. I'm betting they'll meet again, and see what that outcome will be! Bill is way better than a random woman. XD I'd rather have Bill than a girl.. no matter how sexy she'd be. haha ;D
Well, Lyla ran away. Lulz. Why does Bill cry? o.0
So many questions :)
Update soon. ^_^
Author's Response: maybe . . .maybe not xD and Bill cried cause he didn't want Lyla to tell anyonw *hugles Bill* thanks for reading and reviewing! you're the best, and i'll try to get the next chappie done
Date: 07/26/10 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow... you can picture the sex scene which may be the story or just how my mind works idk... but is was really great.. tragic story of two brothers bein walked in on by one of their lovers and strians to understand... hmmm i like it... it would make a good movie!! xD
Author's Response: lmao, i love you dessi!
Date: 07/23/10 11:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
Here's your banner :D 
do credit me! :3
BTW check dA for your review....
Author's Response: -jizz-
Date: 07/21/10 02:46 pm Title: Chapter 1
ooo... Threesome? xD I hated Lyla at first, then you got a bit more in depth. Don't be fraid to draw things out, let us know Lyla more, how they met, how did Tom x Bill get into their relationship, that sort of thing. The only thing needing in this fic is just a bit more background to everything. But all in all, It's very very good. Can't wait to read more ;) -hugs-
Author's Response: thank you so much for reading and the advice,i will try my best :)
Date: 07/20/10 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
i love it xoxox
Author's Response: thank you SO much! you have no idea how much it means that someone likes my story :)you just made my night :D
Date: 07/20/10 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
I know I wrote part of this ;) but i had to review on the parts I didn't! I honestly can't wait to see what you have in store for the next chapter!
Author's Response: ha, thanks. you and me both chicky xD
Date: 07/20/10 04:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
It's not everyday I grow a liking to an OFC, but I have to see I'm okay with Lyla. She seems very nice and understanding. I'm still fuzzy about the whole calm facade but I'm hoping it'll be cleared out in future chapters ^^ Lovely smut scene and tons of drama!! Contests Emmy on your first fic!! I'll be waiting for more ^^
--OWL
Author's Response: yes'm it shall be cleared up soon :) thanks so much for readin :D