I found myself drawn to this piece the day it was uploaded, and fought everything in my to save it for when I could actually sit and give it a decent read. But against all willpower, even then I started reading through it and decided I adored the way this couple was written here.

Your language, description and writing style really made me happy to see. I was sucked right into the scene, even from the first few words. I love how you stretched everything out so far and made five minutes seem like an eternity. Every detail was incredible and so well thought-out, and the dialogue between the two was convincing! You managed to give us a full story, background and all, without really showing how their 'relationship' got to that point.

So in all honesty, this is my second reading, and I love it just as much now, if not more than the first time around. Thank you so much for writing it :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I have written Billshido since this but have been reluctant to post it due to a couple of negative reviews for this (I know it's silly - but I tend to over focus on the haters)however, this may be enough motivation to get me to post again :) Thank you so much <3

I loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Hi hunny!
I have your banner X3

Link: http://tinypic.com/r/2z4fd4i/3

I spent a while on this one, b/c your fic was GORGEOUS. I had to make something equally pretty. :)
I used 24 layers! :O Oh Lord. o_O'

Btw, I agree with you. Bushido is Muslim [I'm not.. but I know Arabic. ;) I'm Catholic.] he went to Mekka. :)
However his mother was German and he grew up without his Muslim father. I believe he wanted to take back his nationality. ;] Also in his song "11 September" he states he is Muslim! :D
I don;t know many Muslims & have no Muslim friends.. [besides online XD]

I really loved your fic. :3
Hope you use the banner...

and do write more Billshido!

Bushido haters= Buuuuu [get it boo? :P /shot]

(:

Author's Response: OMFG it is BEAUTIFUL <3 And 24 layers!? Wow, just wow. I'm actually really moved that you would make this for me for my first ever fic on here <3 Thank you so, so, so much.rnWell, I had no idea he went to Mekka...that is one serious commitment. My friend just told me that his Mum converted to Islam when Bushido was 19, so I guess he has been brought up Muslim despite his father being absent. And how could I not use your wonderful banner!? Thank you so much once more :) I will do my best to get some more Billshido out soon! P.S got to love puns <3

I read your reply to my review, and... oh God, I don't think I'm the right person to say how one should improve their writing =/ I mean, all I could tell you is that I didn't feel that... 'something' that really caught my attention to the way sentences were formed in your fic. It wasn't BAD, not at all, I just felt it... normal? Maybe I'm just used to a different type of writing. What I liked less were maybe the descriptions of the actions. I liked the dialogues just fine, instead, they were good.
I don't know, really XD But what I can tell you for sure is that I don't think there is any standard you should feel compelled to reach to post anywhere. Just write what you feel like writing, then see how that goes, and then write something else. I think people improve naturally by writing something new every time, that's all :)

Author's Response: I know it's years later but looking back at you reviews I realise how rude you were really being. You couldn't even back up your opinions with any real substance....my guess is that you just wanted to put a new writer down who was getting good reviews and feedback. rnrnI'm so glad I'm not that meek young girl anymore. If someone spoke to me in this patronising ass tone now I would tell them where to go. rnrnShould have said all of this when Raiju (who is/was the best Billshido writer gave me a lovely review but I'm saying it now instead.

It's been a while since someone wrote these two so well. I love when they're written like real people instead of personas.

Author's Response: Wow - what a huge compliment, thank you so much! <3

Aw, that was good for your first Billshido! It just had a few little errors in it, such as a missing apostrophe, but other than that, it was amazing. The name switching between Bushido and Anis can be a little confusing in the way of it makes it seem like there are three people there rather than two, so look out for that in the future.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review!rnrnWell I would have preferred to have a beta but I emailed some of the ones recommended on here and got no response, so had to go it alone. Thanks for the name switching advice though - I was concerned about that as well so will give it another look :) rn

First of all, I really want to say THANK YOU for this. I love Billshido, I'm sad that there are so little fics about this pairing in the English fandom, and that it's hard to find something good about it (or, well, relatively good... I talk about my preferences, obviously XD). This fic, I really liked it. It may not be a masterpiece for the way it was written - no offence, please! I'm just trying to make an objective review, really =) - but it was good, still, and what made it even better was WHAT you told us in this story. The relationship between Bill and Bushido described here was great, and one of those I like the most: they are already together, they fuck, they even like each other, and not just a bit, but they're not really lovers, not yet. And that's because they're (or better, Bu is) afraid of taking that last step. And when he does so, it's not immediately perfect, there's still a little tension in the end, but that's just natural, and they work it out together.
What I liked the most was maybe the part where you described the first times they met and the first time they had sex. That was amazing, really. There were maybe four sentences that I liked the most (“He knew he could have done nothing to make that first intrusion less painful – but he would have liked to have at least tried.” - “embarrassed that it was the hot kiss the singer bent his head to give him that finally made him loose it” - “He didn’t even know who he had wanted to forgive him. God or Bill.” and “He had held Bill all night, not letting him sleep as he kissed him at random intervals, hoping that it could erase his guilt. He knew the kid deserved better”), because I think they express really well the way Anis was feeling. But the whole description was wonderful, really.
Then there were so many other thing that were great. For example, the fact that Anis keeps hair dye for Bill in his bathroom even if they’re not really a couple. It shows how fond he is of the boy even if he’s still denying it in some way.
And I’m making a really shitty job at reviewing this fic, I know, but I’m not good at this, im’ sorry XD (English is not even my first language, I’m afraid I’m not explaining myself the way I would like to T.T)
Okay, I’ll say just this: it was a really good fic, I enjoyed it a lot, and I would like to read more! :D That’s enough? ;)
Thank you.

Author's Response: Could you give me some more advice about my writing please? I know you didn't like my style and would like to improve on it as much as possible. I really hope it wasn't too bably structured...like I said, I have a huge ammount of respect for this place and the people who write here so I was very nervous about posting. Just hope I'm at a good enough standard to keep posting here. rnrnThank you for the lovely feedback though - I am glad that it all came across the way I meant it too and that I, at least, got 'them'.

I really loved it.. very lovely.
Billshido is one of those pairings that are harder to write and get right. A lot of times writers really fuck up Bushido's personality. You really hit it here and got it perfectly.
I loved how Bill was feeling guilty and Bushido a bit too.. very beautiful. Even those you stuck a little Arabic, "Allah" [I know Arabic so it feels funny reading that XD] it was excellent.
I loved how this wasn't some other boring smutsmutsmut shit. It actually had conflict, some brief angst, and it your heart. It was more loving sex and I loved how Bushido was feeling confused a bit. Bill is so sweet and how you portrayed him here was very wonderful and you captured his character.
It was such a long oneshot, but I read it all. So gorgeous. I didn't even skip those bigass paragraphs like how I usually do with fics/books/newspapers/magazines/emails ect. :p
I disagree with Apsenniel, I loved how Bushido hurt Bill. XD Maybe this is my inner fucked up self coming out but I really enjoyed that... I love accidental pain inflictions in sex that is meant to be pure. I really love that... and I loved how Bushido dealt with it! :D
You really had gotten so deep in the characters, you did it so beautifully! Pure talent. It may have been your first Billshido, but has to be one of the best and greatest Billshido's ever. Because you focused on Anis, and showed his side and that it isn't just lusting for our lovely rockstar, but adoring him too.
The description was gorgeous and you really got me deep into the story. I was so sad when it ended. :'(
You should totally write more of these. ;) We need more Billshido fics like this in the world. More love, and realism. Because this was excellence!
I also found it funny when Tom was mentioned... ;P Poor Tomi. xD

Lovely fiction I highly enjoyed it. Adding this to my faves.

Btw, would you like a banner? :)


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. Everything you've said is what I was trying so hard to convey, so I appreciate this review beyond belief :) To be honest, I was relieved when I got to it cause I was starting to think I might suck at Billshido! lol I'm glad you liked Bu in this - I sort of wanted him to be conflicted and to not want to hurt Bill but find himself doing it inadvertently because of how in denial he is. And thank you for mentioning the arabic - I have Muslim friends so find Bushido's faith rather fascinating and think people don't explore it enough as part of his character. Also, I would absolutely love a banner thanks :D felt a bit shy asking lol Once again, thank you so, so much <3

I absolutely adore Bushido and Bill together – to me they just seem to fit. However, I appreciate how you’ve managed to delve into Bushido’s side of things. So many authors don’t do that, they tend to stick with Bill. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it’s refreshing to see Bushido’s side of things. The psychology behind this was really believable- and that’s coming from someone who’s taken multiple psych classes.

Bushido and Bill’s “first time” was particularly brutal to be honest. I half wanted to hate Bu as I was reading it for hurting Bill, but since it was from Bushido’s point of view, and I could see (well, read) what was going through his mind and the guilt that he felt over hurting Bill and not making his first time something special lessened my murderous urges. ;)

Though the story seemed to me at least to be more of a study of Bushido, Bill was brilliant. I love how he just seemed to understand Bushido, and accept his struggles with being seriously attracted to another man (even a man as feminine as Bill). He was mature in this, but we still got to say the playful and silly Bill that all the fans adore. He seemed realistic in this, something that makes the story so much better. It would be interesting to see this story from Bill’s point of view.

Bushido’s blow job for Bill: what I perceived this as, even if it was not your intention, was Bushido truly accepting that he was head over heels for Bill – to the point that he would pleasure him with all he had, even if it lessened his masculinity in his own mind, and got pleasure from it. He got pleasure from making Bill feel good, and that’s really a huge expression of love.

I loved the affection between the two, the mention of Tom being horrified at the idea of Bill having sex, and the question at the end.

Thanks for this, I love, love, love, “Billshido”!

~ Apsenniel

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review <3 I feel the same way about Bill and Bushido lol In my head they just fit. Well, I find Bushido and Bill both fascinating so I guess that's why I chose to focus on Bu and not just Bill - plus in my mind he has so much to angst over in terms of being with another man. You know - he has his faith and his reputation on the line, and that's alot to struggle against. Maybe I am just an angst Queen lol But also, I am mixed race and bi so maybe that's why I got the psychology right. Not that I've ever been through anything as tough, but I can imagine it. I am sorry Bill's first time was so brutal - I have seriously motherly, over protective feelings towards that boy so believe me when I say I found it tough to write. But I think the fact that Bushido is aware of what he's doing, and feels Bill deserves better does lessen the blow a little, and I am glad you thought so too. I was worried I might have made Bill a bit too mature in this so I am glad that he seemed realistic enough. I guess I wanted him to be the emotionally strong one in the relationship cause, in my eyes, he seems to be so comfortable with himself in a way that Bushido maybe isn't. Thank you for getting what the whole PWP element was really about as well <3 Bushido finally letting himself be himself and enjoy Bill for what he is, and getting himself there because he loves him. Haha poor Tom, his dissaproval is my amusement! XD Phew! Sorry this was so long but you brought up so many of the things (if not all) that I was trying to get across :D Thank you so much!