Date: 04/22/15 05:45 am Title: Chapter 5
God damn it! Just found this site, read your story, then BAM! Not finished. It had me fully sucked in too
Date: 02/08/13 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 5
Whaooo,, creapyy... Please more?
Date: 10/02/10 05:44 am Title: Chapter 5
I like it! :) Idk what you had originally planned for Bill so I can't say how I feel about this one in comparison, but I do like this story :) Poor Bill, wants to die :| And who wouldn't in a place like that? I hope Bill will let Tom in a little more and Tom can find out the truth about his crazy little inmate. One mistake of several: "His eyes were burning with rage and hatred; just as they had the day he had first seen the raven-haired." You forgot to add "teen". Not picking on you! Just pointing out! No go do your Bill dance and write me some more story damn it xD OH BTW :0 I never your last chapters question! I'm 20 :)
Date: 10/01/10 09:46 am Title: Chapter 4
I could beta your grammatical errors if you like. I don't want to brag bu I'm quite good at diction :) Also, it didn't suck. I really feel sorry for Bill. And I have a theory. I think, maybe Bill didn't really kill his parents. Maybe his twin did and he was forced to kill his brother, and being in the hospital is what made him insane. I also think that that Andreas tried to rape Bill and that's why he freaked out and hurt him. But I'm just theorizing :) If I'm correct, damn Andreas for trying to hurt Bill! >:O I hope Tom can get through to him and they can get, well you know, touchy xD Much love! :D
Date: 09/30/10 08:15 am Title: Chapter 3
Yes for the Bill Dance :D This one was sad. And sooo many errors Dx But I got it nonetheless. Aw I just wabt to hugglesnuggle Bill and luff on him and all his murdery craziness.
Date: 09/30/10 07:59 am Title: Chapter 2
Ok, loving it, but still noticing grammatcal errors. They are minor and I can still understand the story. Just thought you should know. Also, it was never made clear that Tom pushed the food in Bill's cell. Just thought you might wanna wark that in there. Still loving this story though, I only correct cause I care :)
Date: 09/30/10 07:36 am Title: Chapter 1
OMG I actually got scared! The image of Bill suddenly at the door maked me feel like I was watching a scary movie and a bad guy popped out! You know how your heart always feel like "Holy shit!" Lol thanks for that xD Excellent first chapter, though I noticed a lot of grammatcal errors. Mostly wrong tence or forgetting to plurlize, but besides that, I'm liking this story :)
Date: 09/25/10 03:58 am Title: Chapter 5
Weee more chapters! =D The msn scene was funny xD They talk just like all other normal teenagers :3 And Georg being a drunken man whore, hahaha epic win! Poor Tom, stuck with the pretty little insane Bill on his mind :3 COme to kill him...? o.O Unexpected turn, I love you for that! -heart- Tom's nervousness when he was entering the cell was so cute, the stuttering and such :3 As for what I want with Bill, I just want for you to write him how you had planned, I trust it will be awesome. Although, I do love when they have mood swings ^^' Like, all bitchy one moment, next moment being all sad, and I think you get what I mean xD Well, it's not much, but I reviewed, so dance the Billa dance! x3! Can't wait for the next chapter~ -heart-
Date: 09/24/10 04:51 am Title: Chapter 5
awww i love this chapter. bill seems so cute around tom. and i think that you should make him more aggressive at first but he should slowly become more cuddly :) i hope you update soon!!
Date: 09/23/10 09:11 am Title: Chapter 5
omg. write more. chop chop. enjoying. i would dance with you but i can't dance, not even Bill's epileptic-sexy-strange one.
Date: 09/22/10 11:11 pm Title: Chapter 5
i like the Bill character u got now, cuz i lyke the bipolarity of things
^^
Date: 09/22/10 11:11 pm Title: Chapter 5
i like the Bill character u got now, cuz i lyke the bipolarity of things
^^
Date: 09/22/10 07:50 pm Title: Chapter 5
Thanks for the update! I can't wait to learn more about Bill. I don't think he needs to be darker, I am just looking forward to learning more.
Date: 09/22/10 02:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
I want Bill to be cuddly and mysterious. And I want more of them.
Date: 09/22/10 12:43 am Title: Chapter 5
Anyway, please let me know what you think of Bill's behaviour, do you want him darker? Meaner? More cuddly perhaps? TELL ME! :D
Lol, well not more cuddly. I prefer stories with tons of conflict and angst. *BUT*, not when there's a whole bunch of self-loathing that ultimately goes nowhere.
Wasn't analyzing, but I picked up this:
In this sentence Finding your co-worker injured on the floor in one of the inmate’s cell, one of the most fucked-up inmate’s cell
It should be "one of the inmates' cells" both times.
Date: 09/14/10 10:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
oh, and I'm definitely one of the oldest here, I'm 25. Portland, Oregon, USA
Date: 09/14/10 10:36 pm Title: Chapter 4
I find this very interesting, I hope you update again soon. =)
Date: 08/28/10 12:58 pm Title: Chapter 4
This is a great chapter I really liked it! Can't wait for the next one. =)
Date: 08/25/10 04:42 am Title: Chapter 4
Dedication?! Are you serious?! x3 Thank you so much!! :D For the dedication and the update of course~ And I'm sorry to hear things aren't so great for you right now, I hope they get better soon :/ My heart goes out to you -heart-
Okay, how dare you say it may have sucked! D: It was just as amazing as the first chapters, which I'm sure I made clear that I enjoyed them greatly ^^ Maybe a beta would be a good idea, there were a few issues with tense and such, but it wasn't too bad ^^'Andreas looks a little dodgy, so maybe him? I'm hoping for something completely unexpected though, they're always the best >:3 Still not over the fact that Tom punched Bill ._. I have a sick obsession for the psychotic characters...Gotta love em ^^' He's lovely, even though he killed his cat o.O -cat lover- Please update soon, I can't wait to see what this develops into! x3
Okay, I'm from Australia, and I'm 15... >.> -prays that people don't think I'm an annoying immature cliche teen- >.>