Date: 02/27/10 09:46 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hmm.. I liked it hehe it was cute ^^
Date: 01/18/10 10:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
this part made me crack up:
They're about to cum at the same time. "Ahh!" There it is. They both do.
LOL!!
aww... they LOVE each other that's great!
Date: 06/11/08 03:06 am Title: Chapter 1
The plot is okay. However, it seemed a bit rushed. There was a lot of obvious spelling mistakes in some places and something that I noticed is that there is no emotion. Yeah, sure both Bill and Tom do confess their love for each (Also a tadd rushed) and all that but the feelings that are supposed to be conveyed there are completly absent. The smutt scene was also lacking the aforementioned comment I just pointed out. Im not flaming you in anyway because I admit that from what I can see here, you are pretty good writer, you just need to sit down and think about what your typing before you do so.
P.S Everytime someone knew talks, it's counted as a different paragraph.
Date: 10/30/07 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
there's alot of spelling mistakes, and it's rushed to the point where it's hardly worth reading... and it sounds weird written in present tense too...
Date: 10/23/07 03:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
ehh.honestly i didnt really like it.