Date: 05/19/10 07:15 pm Title: Chapter 3
I looooove this story! YAY!! new favorite! and this should totally be FEATURED!! everybody needs to know about it!
-KC
Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm glad that you do! Featured? Wow, I'm flattered that you think so much pf this fic! Thanks again, love! ♥
Date: 05/19/10 07:11 pm Title: Chapter 3
awww!! dont feel bad. you are a wonderful writer and this chapter is as good as the rest (if not better)
Author's Response: Awww, you're too good to me :3 *blushes* Thank you so much, love! ♥
Date: 05/19/10 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 3
You'll do great! Just like you're doing with this story. :D
Author's Response: Thanks for both the faith, and the review, darling! =D
Date: 05/19/10 07:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
OMG! I am loving this! Rock this puppy on!!
Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear that! Thank you!
Date: 05/19/10 06:53 pm Title: Chapter 3
Whenever I hear Let me see your hips swing I think about Knocked Up. No matter how kick ass this fic is, no matter how sexy it may be, that song will forever be immortalized by Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up.
Author's Response: You know, I keep telling myself that I'm going to watch that movie, but I still haven't yet! *facepalm* SOMEDAY, haha. And thanks! It's quite exciting to have this fic be decribed as kick ass. It makes me feel like a superhero XD <333
Date: 05/19/10 06:24 pm Title: Chapter 3
I knew Emmy was DJ Kaul's sister! I loved this so much! Loved that even if Tom wasn't there the first time, he made sure Bill received a drink from him, and of course, I adored the hot dance they indulged in later and that they finally exchanged names! I'll be looking forward to more!
*hugs on all the rest*
Author's Response: You smart cookie, you! =D I was wondering if anyone would catch on before it was revealed, so gold medal for you, my dear! Tom gets his sister drinks, so he has to be fair and get Bill some, too. ;) Buying him drinks and making sure he has a dance partner; such a gentleman, he is! Haha!
*hugs you back* Thanks so much for the review! I'm really glad that you're enjoying this.
Date: 05/19/10 05:53 pm Title: Chapter 3
I just saw, and I figured I'd tell you.
First: I love this story (but I guess you already know;P)
Second: In chapter 1, you wrote Tom, quoting:
"He only tore his eyes away from Tom when he felt a hand on his shoulder." (:
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad to hear it. =D
OASDFASDFKHSAA, thank you SO much for pointing that one out. I changed it right away. =) You're an absolute lifesaver!
Date: 05/19/10 05:52 pm Title: Chapter 3
hot
Author's Response: Thank you! =)
Date: 05/19/10 05:42 pm Title: Chapter 3
I was so into this that I caught myself swaying my body slightly, as if I was dancing, while reading o.O
I did not notice any quality change, it was still hot as hell and well written ^_^
Looking forward to more :D
P.S. Adding this to favourites ^_^
Author's Response: Wow, you must've been reeeally into it, haha! I'm glad that it pulled you in that much! =)
Thanks so much. And favorite? Wow, that's such an honor. Thank you! =D
Date: 05/19/10 04:43 pm Title: Chapter 3
Nggggggggggghhhhhh, I don't care how much time passed, but omg, if DJ Kaul had not appeared here, I would have cried with Bill too!
But UNF, this is still the most amazing and sizzling fic EVER.
*purrs*
And I was kinda figuring that the DJ was related to her and WOW, they didn't dance for long, but my god, I swear my stomach tightened when the first turn of the song changed for Bill, the 'where are you going' and yeah...
LOVE IT and thank you so much for updating. It totally made my being in the hospital most of the day totally worth it!
Author's Response: I would've cried too! *blink* Just saying. :3 Your describing my fic as "sizzling" made my grin split my face in half. Or maybe "amazing" did the job; I don't even know, haha!
You're very intuitive! I was hoping someone would catch on before it was revealed. =) Nope, not too long; they didn't find each other until Tom's break was almost over, the poor dears. Better luck next time, maybe? But that 'where are you going' was definitely for Bill. Tom's just a cool cat like that. ;D
Thank you sooo much! I'm glad that you love it, and that it made your day worth it. The hospital? I'm going to message you about that, dear. I hope everything is alright, and again, thank you! ♥
Date: 05/19/10 04:42 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oh yay! So glad to see you back on this *_* I think it was still hot and I do still so enjoy Emmy's character. :D
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad to be back to writing this, for sure. I'm pleased that you think it's hot *_* And Emmy is so much fun to write. She's such a back-sass, and not nearly as much of an alcoholic as she may seem like. XD
Date: 05/16/10 02:50 pm Title: Chapter 2
This chapter was so hot!
Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying it. I've been really slacking; I haven't had time to write what with final exams and everything, but now, summer vacation is here, and I'm back on it. In fact, I'm working on the fic right now, and am about to upload the music for the previous chapters, so stay tuned; next chapter should be up in a few days. Thanks again! ♥
Date: 04/17/10 01:35 pm Title: Chapter 2
Ok, so I noticed that my review for the first chapter hadn't appeared completely, so basically the gist of the review for the 1st chapter should be: "OMG! I love it! I love how Tom speaks to Bill through the music! absolutely romantic! :3" LOL! So what I've got to say for this chapter is pretty much the same. I love how Tom speaks to Bill through the music. Tom just seems so mysterious and dark and sexy, especially because he doesn't speak! and Bill still doesn't know his actual name, does he? ^_^ and man, I love the Long Island Tea incident! hahaha! That was super hot! lol! and I love Tom's parting words: "I knew it all along" hehehe! No need to worry anymore he mistook you for a girl, Bill! I absolutely love the flirting they're doing! It's just tooo sexy!
Author's Response: Haha, awww, thank you so much! I appreciate you filling me in on the first review too, haha! <3333 That's very sweet of you. :3
I'm glad Tom's coming across that way! that's exactly what I'm aiming for with him, so I'm pleased that you view him in that way. =D Nope, Bill still doesn't know his name. ;) I'm glad that you're enjoying it, and there's a lot more flirting to come! ;)
Your review really made me smile. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. ♥
Date: 04/13/10 10:07 pm Title: Chapter 2
Do I feel an update coming on? :D Tell me I should, please.
Author's Response: Aww, I'm sorry for taking so long! I needed to take a break; I'm in my first year of college, and final exams were coming, and I had no idea what to expect, so I needed time to study (And procrastinate by reading fics; I'll be honest, haha). But finals are over, and school is out. I'm about to add music for the previous chapters (I meant to when posting, but forgot *facepalm*), and then I'm going to finish writing the next chapter--the documents open as we speak. =)
The next chapter should be up within the next couple of days. Heck, it'll be up tonight if I finish it! =) Thanks so much for the patience, and for the motivational review. <3
Date: 04/11/10 03:54 pm Title: Chapter 2
Oh, my, word. It's been two chapters and I am head over heels for this story. Really, I love your writing, and your creativity! Damnit Tom is so mysterious! Jees, I'm not even coherent, I'm a bit overtired, but I didn't think I'd bother at a rest until I could finish the end of the second chapter. Seriously, please keep writing... I'm not sure how or what to say, besides the fact I think something fabulous is lurking in this story. Just know I love it!
Author's Response: OH, wow, thank you so much! I'm so happy to know that you like it! Haha, Tom is definitely a mystery, isn't he? ;) Thank you so much for reading, and for the lovely review. =)
Date: 04/10/10 09:08 am Title: Chapter 2
LOVED IT!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you do! <3
Date: 04/10/10 03:40 am Title: Chapter 2
Damn that's hot haha! Love this. Tom is fucking sexy. well done!
Author's Response: Haha, thank you! I'm so glad that you liked it! I've read your fic, "The Bartenders" (I only had time to read a few chapters before I had to work, though. D: ) and I loved it, so this is a huge honor, getting a review from you. (Trying not to fangirl. Is it working? lol) Anyways, thanks so much, and if you choose to keep reading, I hope you continue to enjoy it just as much. :)
Date: 04/10/10 12:51 am Title: Chapter 2
Jesus Christ! I was not expecting your story to be what it was. In the Schrei Box, you seemed so modest, and I take a person's words at face value most of the time, so I went into your story expecting a ~modest~ story in terms of writing skills. Well, fuck me, I was wrong.
The first four or five paragraphs in which you described the bar led me to suspect you might be one of those writers who can create beautiful imagery but don't know quite when to use it, in the sense that the bar description was so extensive. However, as I continued to read, I realized that the description is important because the bar is also reflective of Tom's character: impressive, intense, confident, modern, etc.
So obviously I really like this story and I will be so frustrated if you don't continue, but I feel it's important for the author to know what exactly the reader is responding to.
Firstly, the lack of dialogue is so good. I love how you seem to have a plethora of great club songs on hand to use for communication purposes. For one thing, it really elevates Tom's character for the reader; Bill has spoken with all the other characters but Tom, making Tom an almost surreal presence so far in the story. This is also a bit tougher than the average third person narrative; it means you -have- to be able to describe body language and chemistry in such a way that it thrills the reader the way it thrills the characters. And you have done this.
Speaking of the chemistry, this is something that comes up in nearly ALL my reviews. This is because I only review stories that I think are good, and one of the biggest mistakes I see in a lot of stories is the lack of chemistry between the two main characters. So many authors have clear visions of their characters are, what they look like, what makes them tick, etc. But when it comes to the question, "why is A attracted to B? Why does B love A?" there isn't a good answer.
For your story, there is fabulous chemistry. And of course, you've done this without any dialogue. A+ bb.
When I read the extremely well-done sex scenes in some of my favourite stories like "The Blue of Desire" and "Trillium", I get a very distinct mix of thrilled and excited and butterflies (and maybe possibly a little turned on, but I'm a delicate flower, so let's ignore that). Really, after the ridiculous amount of smut that I've read through, this feeling is really reserved GLORIOUS SEX SCENES. So imagine my surprise when I got this feeling when I read the chapter 1 scene where Bill is merely dancing and making eye contact with DJ Kaul. Or when Tom is tipping Bill back and pouring alcohol into his mouth. Most flirting scenes I read are a little forced or awkward, but yours were great. What that means is even though I'm lavishing you with sincere praise, don't feel pressure to do EVEN BETTER or something, because you're doing great as is.
My recommendations/request for the continuance of the story: for as long as possible, keep the story centered at the club. I think if in the next few chapters, you moved DJ Kaul and Bill's interactions outside the club, it would take away from the great atmosphere you've built up, and I think your writing skills are up to the challenge of limiting your story setting to Kinetic for a while. As well, even if DJ Kaul and Bill actually start talking person in the next few chapters, I think the communication via music is really moving and -again- a critical element of the mood of your story, so I think it would be beneficial to have this element present in as many chapters as possible. Those two aspects of your story make it unique and exciting, which can be difficult in a fandom that focuses on very few characters with very distinct personalities.
Keep it up, I am looking forward to your updates to such a degree that I'm literally surprised by my response. Just write, you're good at what you do!
Author's Response: First, let me start off by saying thank you so much! Secondly, I did a lot of poking in the Shrei box, but I hope I didn't make you feel obligated to read or anything, or push too hard. Sorry about that!
Trying to get Tom's character and personality across without him ever speaking was a tough thing, and I'm honestly never too confident when I start writing out his parts because of that, so I'm glad that you've addressed it, and I've especially glad that you feel that I'm doing a good job!
I agree. Chemistry is a very important part of A/B relationships. At this point, their attraction is pretty superficial, and I'm trying to figure out whether I want to deepen their relationship or let their chemistry remain at the level at which it rests now. You mentioned that you feel that I should maintain the club setting for a while, and actually, whether or not the settings will begin to vary corresponds directly with whether or not I choose to deepen their relationship. Or, no, actually, I lied, because simply typing out that last sentence brought to mind a few possibilities that I hadn't considered at all, so it's really up in the air. I'm working it out, though. :)
Thank you so much for directly telling me not to feel pressured to do even better, lol, because, not gonna lie, I was starting to think, literally, "Oh, damn, I'm really going to have to outdo myself with the next chapters", haha! You read my mind ahead of time. <3
Oh, wow, I never realized that my scenes were that intense. I'm honored that the feeling that's reserved for the glorious sex scenes was felt when you read this. I really wanted the mood of the chapters to be intense, thrilling, and sexual, so I'm glad that you feel I'm doing it right. =)
After the next chapter, I'm not sure whether or not I'll keep things in the club, or move them to a new setting; I'm torn, because I have two endings in mind for this fic, and am trying to pick the most logical one. But maintaining the club scene definitely isn't an impossibility. ;) I'm glad that you think I'm a telented enough writer to be up for that challenge! I definitely plan on keeping the use of musical communication, because it's the basis of the whole fic--it's actually what inspired it! =)
I'm flattered that you find this to be unique and exciting, and I'm glad that you're so excited about this story!
Thank you so, so, so, SO much for the review! It really made me smile, and it even inspired me a bit for future chapters. ;) I love getting constructive criticism, so I really appreciate that you added that as well. Thanks so much; you have no idea how much I appreciate it. :)
Date: 04/09/10 03:50 pm Title: Chapter 2
This story is so good!i love the feel of it, it has such a fun flow:D
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's definitely a lot of fun to write. <3
Date: 04/09/10 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 2
Amazing chapter and I love love love the fact that Tom still hasn't said a single word yet. Definitely anticipating your next update :D
Also, I'm adding you on Livejournal but be warned! Most of my entries consist of my terrible whining/kpop/memes, so yeah, not exactly sure if you'll appreciate it xD
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's fun keeping Tom silent, and I think it adds to his appearance, in a way.But he'll have to talk eventually, I suppse. *sigh* xD I'm glad that you're looking forward to more! I'm going to update as soon as I can.
Oh, alright! Haha, I added you back, and I don't mind at all. I'm having so much fun reading through your posts, but I hope that doesn't make me a creeper :x I just love reading people's journal entries. :)