Date: 03/08/10 07:38 am Title: Chapter 4- He never thought he's resort to this.
"Tom parked his car in the small parking lot by the park"--too many parks in that one sentence!
Oh my gosh at first I thought Bill was slitting his wrists, but then you clarified that he was cutting. This actually seems like something Bill might have done, after being raped and then seemingly abandoned by his only protection figure.
Date: 03/07/10 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 4- He never thought he's resort to this.
Bill cutting? No! At least Tomi came to the rescue :)
I wonder if Bill will see those guys who raped him at school soon....
Date: 03/07/10 09:54 pm Title: Chapter 3- Too Much.
You should really space out your paragraphs. There are times when two characters speak in the same paragraph, but you should always make a new paragraph when a new person speaks. Just saying. You're still easy to follow, but it is gramatically correct (and less confusing) to space things out :)
Awesome chap btw!! But NO! Tomi can't leave Billa alone! And great reaction from Simone about the twincest going on there ^^
Date: 03/07/10 09:47 pm Title: Chapter 2- Two souls collide.
I love how Tom calls Bill "Baby". It's so cute!
I'm excited that the next chapter's already up so this wont be a terrible cliffhanger XD
Date: 03/07/10 09:35 pm Title: Chapter 1- The Breaking of Bill
Great first chapter! I really like how you jumped right into the plot. You started out with a major event and you did it really well- it wasn't rushed like other intense fanfics tend to be. :)
Date: 03/07/10 05:56 pm Title: Chapter 4- He never thought he's resort to this.
awwww
Date: 03/07/10 03:41 pm Title: Chapter 4- He never thought he's resort to this.
awwwee. can't wait for more
Date: 03/06/10 10:48 am Title: Chapter 3- Too Much.
What...no! Come back! Tomiiiiii. Poor Bill. I love this fiction!
Date: 03/05/10 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 3- Too Much.
Poor Bill.
Im looking forward to the next chapter
Date: 03/05/10 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 3- Too Much.
aww :( poor bill and tom
Date: 03/05/10 05:39 pm Title: Chapter 3- Too Much.
awww damn
Date: 03/05/10 05:06 pm Title: Chapter 3- Too Much.
Hmmm.. I liked this one.:) Can't wait to read more.:D
Date: 03/05/10 10:38 am Title: Chapter 2- Two souls collide.
oh no
Date: 03/05/10 12:17 am Title: Chapter 1- The Breaking of Bill
holly molly can't wait for the next chapter... now i'm freakin' out xd
Date: 03/04/10 10:39 pm Title: Chapter 2- Two souls collide.
oh shit
cant wait for the next chapter
Date: 03/04/10 10:23 pm Title: Chapter 1- The Breaking of Bill
good, i love it
Date: 03/04/10 09:42 pm Title: Chapter 2- Two souls collide.
Thanks for the quick update! Can't wait for next chapter.
Date: 03/04/10 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 1- The Breaking of Bill
absolutely amazing! keep going!
Date: 03/04/10 04:57 pm Title: Chapter 1- The Breaking of Bill
Awwww : ( poor bill but he has tom to take care of him and help him
Can't wait for more : )
Date: 03/04/10 09:23 am Title: Chapter 1- The Breaking of Bill
poor bill! UGH stupid muttface raper, I hate you. and naw, Tom is so sweet to him:') continue, it's good!