Date: 03/03/10 01:52 am Title: Chapter 1: Death and the afterlife.
And one more thing. Make sure you always answer your reviews :) You may delete this one since it's just a little advice blurb.
Author's Response: haha, ok.
Date: 03/03/10 01:50 am Title: Chapter 7: An offer you couldn't refuse
*squeal* xDDD
Okay. I finally decided to review. I love your writing, BUT... I think you need more description. You need to paint the story more so that your readers can feel like they're actually there, or as if a movie is playing in their heads! I want to feel more emotion! :D I want to see EVERYTHING. I want to cry when they cry and shout in happiness when they do. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? You're not a bad writer, that's not it at all, though I do think you need some improvement. I was actually rather horrible when I first started - too cliche and the plot lines weren't thought out well and were very predictable. I advise you to NEVER read my first stories LOL. The ones that are actually worth reading are on my profile. But as I was saying, you're not bad. Not at all. You have lots of potential to become a better writer though :) I've noticed a couple of mistakes here and there, mostly your usage of punctuation, but that's okay. You spell everything correctly, and the plot is very good, though the dialogue could use some work. Some of it just sounds too... stiff. It needs to flow more naturally - become the every day vernacular :)
So far, this is all I have to say. If you ever have any questions, never hesitate to shoot me an email.
I haven't read a story with a good plot in a while. I don't trust authors that I've never really heard of before :( But I decided to give you a shot, and I'm thoroughly pleased with your work. Keep it up ^-^
Author's Response: First of all, thank you for the review. Second I will take your advice, and begin to edit each chapter thoroughly. I already planned to do this, but for clarification (excuses excuses) I must add that I never have much time to write each chapter. If you have time, please read my bio and the story notes which I have edited. it will help to explain. but thank you, and of course I wish you to feel everything the way I feel it, the way they feel it. also, and I apologise for this, the way they talk, well it's kind of the way I talk, and those in my family and most of my friends. I know it's stiff, and I didn't mean it so much to come out that way. but i also like to leave a lot to the readers imagination. blah blah, still making excuses. you are right. thank you for the review.
Date: 03/02/10 09:00 pm Title: Chapter 13:Agreed
I love that poem in the end, who is it from?
And I loved the chapter, loved that they were all affected by the depth of Tom and Bill's love, love the way you set things up for the rest of the story, even showing us some of the things the twins will have to deal with when the time comes. Simply perfect!
Author's Response: I just edited my story notes, but to clarify: every poem or song lyric in this story unless otherwise specified is written by me. I'm glad you liked it, glad you liked the chapter, reviews always make me smile.
Date: 02/28/10 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 12: The decision
wow. this is great. i can't wait for more!!
Author's Response: More is on the way! thanks for the reviews.
Date: 02/28/10 05:15 pm Title: Chapter 12: The decision
I can't wait for them to be re-borned.. that will be so exciting! can't wait for the next chapter, udate soon!
Author's Response: I'm trying to update as quickly as possible, but some people are saying there are too many mistakes, so I'll be sure to be more careful. By the way i forgot to wish you a happy birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I wish you all the happiness and good luck in the world.
Date: 02/28/10 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 12: The decision
Wow, and so it's about to start anew. I don't think I tell you enough how original this story is or how much I'm enjoying every chapter. Really, you've made my day with this update and can't wait for more. Good luck with your trips. :)
Author's Response: hehe, yep, starting anew, a nice name for a chapter. I'm so happy you enjoy it. you make my day with your reviews:) the trips went well, the shows were better then expected, so thanks
Date: 02/28/10 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 12: The decision
i am so excited for the next update!
Author's Response: It's always good to be excited, I'm glad. thank you for the review.
Date: 02/28/10 12:34 pm Title: Chapter 1: Death and the afterlife.
This story is amazing. Such a wonderful blend of romance, eroticism, and spirituality. I'm beyond sure that these things are meant to be blended, but humans, being so...shallow, rarely do it in a way that doesn't cheapen it. You have managed to blend them beautifully.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm so glad you agree that they can be and should be blended. it's difficult to write clearly exactly what I'm trying to get at, but you seem to have grasped it. hope you continue to enjoy it.
Date: 02/27/10 03:34 pm Title: Chapter 11:Questions and answers.
I can't tell you enough how much I enjoy what you're doing with this.
It's all completely believable, despite it all being within the unknown.
I adore that, it speaks volumes for you as an author.
I was almost getting emotional at one point, not quite emotional, but it was building up in my chest.
Especially when Tom said that he'd have liked to have a life with Bill, that there was so many things that they wanted to do.
That tore me up.
I can't wait until the next chapter, especially since you update so much :D
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hoped it was believable, as it happens to be what I believe...most people think I'm insane...I believe everyone is judged by the heart, and pure love is truly rare in thiss world. thanks for each and every one of your reviews, they always make my day.
Date: 02/27/10 03:23 pm Title: Chapter 11:Questions and answers.
This was such a beautiful chapter and again, I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Love the way you described everything there in Midnight, love Aumen and Twilight. I'm looking forward to what the council will decide for them. :)
Author's Response: I'm glad that you are touched by it. I hope you like the way everything plays out.
Date: 02/27/10 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 11:Questions and answers.
ohhh, sooo exciting! man, this story really has a potential! like really, really really! ahhh, Im so happy today: 3 BECAUSE IT*S MY FRIKKIN BIRTHDAY NANANANANAH, AND IT'S ONLY FOUR DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE CONCERT, YEEEY!
Author's Response: I took a while to answer this one, sorry. this review made me feel excited, you sound so happy.
Date: 02/26/10 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 10:In loving memory-2
Oh god. Oh, god, that last moments. I think I might cry any second.
Author's Response: I almost cried writing it...:_(
Date: 02/26/10 07:07 pm Title: Chapter 10:In loving memory-2
AWWWWW.... This story is sooo sad and cute and I love it and I can't wait for an update.... *takes a deep breath* Okay... breathe Nanashi Breathe lol
Author's Response: updates are coming as soon as I get another few hours free. glad you like it.
Date: 02/26/10 05:52 pm Title: Chapter 10:In loving memory-2
*sniffs* Now I understand why you were crying. I'm in tears myself. What a fantastic, heartfelt tale you're weaving. I'm looking forward to read more of them in... I suppose heaven now?
Author's Response: I didn't cry, but I actually felt the grief for a whole day as though someone was gone...the following chapters will explain a lot of things and then it will go into their new lives..I hope you enjoy it
Date: 02/26/10 05:40 pm Title: Chapter 10:In loving memory-2
Poor buggers, I don't get it though, what was up with Bill?
Did he pretty much know what was coming?
Either way it was a good chapter, as always.
I imagine that I'll be reading the previous chapters many times over, including the beginning of this one.
Author's Response: well when my girlfriends mom died, I had a dream the night before, I walked into her room(where she'd been lying sick for months--leukimia) and her daughter was putting makeup on her, and the mom turned to me and asked me if she looked pretty. she looked no more then twenty, and very beautiful and happy. I told her she looked amazing. the next morning she was gone. I think you get a feeling you know...thank you for the review
Date: 02/26/10 05:35 pm Title: Chapter 10:In loving memory-2
I literally cried at this chapter and the last one....so beautiful but so sad and happy, they never got to get married in that life it's so sad....
Author's Response: well, there's a lot of answers to come in the next chapters, and I hope you like it.
Date: 02/26/10 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 10:In loving memory-2
Im crying, Im crying oh my god, that is sad. BUT IT*S JUST THE BEGINNING OF THIS STORY! I can't wait for the rest, and if you can update almost every day, then that will make super happy!
Author's Response: I will try to, I hope you continue to like it.
Date: 02/26/10 02:16 pm Title: Chapter 9: In loving memory.
How about we forget that horrible first chapter that kills the two cutest characters going on the site at the moment?
Please?.
If not, can I ask, will the time be reset? Because I can't imagine them being children in this day and age tbh, but if not, will they be called Tom and Bill because Simone and Jorg, or whatever you will choose to call their parents were massive fans?
Guh! No! I don't want this next chapter, not at all.
I'll cry too I think. They shouldn't die!
Amazing chapter, as usual.
But, one little thing? Can I suggest a beta? I'd be willing to do it for your if you like, it's just that there are some small mistakes in here, nothing too big, just come confusion between then and than and their and there.
It's nothing big, and if I wasn't head over heels in love with this then I probably wouldn't suggest it.
Author's Response: dear, the story was planned out, i assure you, from the beginning. it will make sense in the end. I promise. I'll try not to make any mistakes but recently I've been working a lot and barely sleeping, I'll miss the little things. thank you for the offer, I may need help in the future during the busy weeks.
Date: 02/26/10 01:38 pm Title: Chapter 9: In loving memory.
this story is so adorable, really. It will be a long one, right?:-D I mean, you're gonna tell their story from their birth? cuz you have to! ommmmffg, YOU HAVE TO UPDATE SOON!
Author's Response: thank you, yes it will be pretty long. the story will cover the main points of their lives, and I hope you continue to like it. i try to submit a chapter every night, but I travel a lot for work and coming up I'll be flying out each day in a row, so if I skip a a few days, bare with me :)
Date: 02/26/10 09:11 am Title: Chapter 9: In loving memory.
Awww, why are you going to cry? *huggles* This chapter was amazing as always! Even the fight was good, because it showed that their relationship is not always as perfect as it seems. Can't wait to see where you'll take us now.
*hugs you again* Thanks for the wonderful update! Totally made the start of my Friday much better!
Author's Response: you'll see why... thank you for the review. I thought friday's were always good days? well anyways glad I could have helped to make it better.