Date: 03/28/10 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 7: September 28
Ok I liked the story to this point, but now its getting monotonous.
So we have established Georg took Tom cause he's a whack job, but now I think you've done just about all you can do with the Georg-has-Tom-locked-in-a-room storyline.
Im thinking its time to move onto something new and get the story moving again cause its starting to lag. We need some new ideas. Maybe someone starts getting suspicious of Georg, that someone has an idea where Tom is, a neighbor sees Tom in a wondow and starts thinking something is wrong, Tom tries to escape...just SOMETHING else! It's getting boring. I'm finding myself reading through it faster or skipping ahead now.
Although it's a wonderful story idea and I liked it up until this point, I don't think it needs to be a very long story (with many chapters) as there's not enough to sustain it for long.
When I write my fiction (non TH stuff), kidnapping story lines never go really long as kidnapping storylines need a taking of a person, a ransom (if nec.), a reason for the taking, a showdown of some kind, exposure of the people involved, and then a resolution (a person returns or a body is found).
If you're going to make the kidnapping the ENTIRE focus of the story, then a lot of other side stories need to be going on to keep your readers fascinated and wanting to stick around to see justice done.
Author's Response: First of all, thank you very much for a long review. And I know that everything you say here is true. In fact, this story was never planned to have more than ten chapters or so. And up until now, the writing haven't been too hard, either. I'm gonna sit down and work a bit on the final chapters, and have this in the back of my head while I do so. It will be to great help, thank you.
Date: 03/28/10 07:38 pm Title: Chapter 7: September 28
Aw, poor Bill ):
But I also just realised that the last chapter was September 27th, my birthday. Lol XD
It was really good.... but it makes me so sad. I just keep waiting for Tom to finally be free.
I dunno. This just makes me so hopeful! Beautiful writing, really. I can almost feel everything right through the letters.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. And thanks for the review. :D
Date: 03/28/10 07:10 pm Title: Chapter 7: September 28
no matter how hard he tries when he writes the reality still shows up in some way. poor bill TT.TT
Author's Response: Yeah. And lets just hope Bill finds his dear brother soon.
Date: 03/26/10 09:56 pm Title: Chapter 6: September 27
Tom's not alone in really even understanding what Georg said. I think I might, but that kinda warrants an explanation. Good chapter though. One thing I'm curious about now- what does Bill think about his missing brother?
Author's Response: Oh, I believe an explanation will come in one way or another. I don't know if Georg is quite ready to admit anything, and at least not for Tom. I think he feels like he need to keep a certain distance between them, so that he can allow himself to do whatever he wants when they have time together, or maybe just so that Tom will have some questions without answers, so that he have to think about it more. I don't know, but I'll ask as soon as I see him. And I hope my next chapter will satisfy your curiosity. (:
Date: 03/26/10 03:30 pm Title: Chapter 5: September 26
And you know what I have been thinking a bit about lately (and it's just a habit to ask question in my own book, that only I will see), how living in itself should be a sense. Because, even though you're alive from before you're born, actually living is an art not everyone can handle. You have ears, but not everybody hears. You have eyes, but not everybody can see. You have a life, but not everybody can live.
I for one, am very impressed. You're really living through your character of Tom, and not alot of people can do that. Hell, I cant.
The writing is amazing, like top-author writing. Your really putting yourself in your chactors shoes, and thats how you get great writing.
It's very, very well written. I love the whole story so far. Amazing.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I don't think I've mentioned before just how young I am, and I think it should stay like that for a while, but it means a lot, a whole gigantic lot, to me when you say it's well written. I'm thankful, and it truly made my day.
Date: 03/25/10 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 6: September 27
new chappter by the end of the weekend would make my work week better *smile* bills belt oh god plz georg dont hurt bill! I hope tom finds it in him to excape!! good chapter
Author's Response: Well, I hope Tom manage to escape sooner or later too, but I have a feeling that's not how it will end. And I'm going to upload a new chapter now, a little delayed, but stills... Hope you're here to read it before a new week starts. (:
Date: 03/19/10 10:22 pm Title: Chapter 5: September 26
This story never disappoints ^_^
Author's Response: I am really glad to hear that you think so, thank you! :D
Date: 03/19/10 05:46 pm Title: Chapter 5: September 26
Wow, amazing chapter. I like what this is going!
But man, it's gonna feel like years before wednesday comes with a new chapter :(
Author's Response: I hope it's that kind of year you look back on and think "oh, how fast the time's passing by" or something. (:
Date: 03/19/10 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 1: September 23
it would really be cool to see what bill is thinking at this time has anyone looked for tom? how did georg become a pshyco? I love this stroy
Author's Response: This was a very good review, thank you very much. And you know what? I might just have to take a look into Bills life and see whats going on out there. rnrnAnd Georg became a psycho from suppressing his feelings for so long. I don't think he handled it very well, eh?
Date: 03/17/10 05:54 pm Title: Chapter 4: September 25 - continued
Wow...this is good. Keep it up.
Author's Response: Thank you! (:
Date: 03/16/10 03:36 pm Title: Chapter 4: September 25 - continued
I really like this fanfic aswell! It's very different.
- Mia
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I appreciate you taking the time to read it!
Date: 03/14/10 09:37 am Title: Chapter 4: September 25 - continued
i realy liked it...it was good to see what Georg is thinking...i cant wait for another chapter...gd work :)
Author's Response: I think it was about time to give Georg some attention too, and are happy you felt the same way. Thanks for the review!
Date: 03/14/10 04:48 am Title: Chapter 4: September 25 - continued
I adore this story and I was so excited to see an update! More soon hopefully!
Author's Response: I'm trying my very best to update as often as I can. Hopefully I'll be able to speed up even more now when I'm in writing mode. :D
Date: 03/13/10 03:14 pm Title: Chapter 4: September 25 - continued
Wow. A beach? That's really creative. :)
I love this story and this chapter was just what I needed to make my night better!
Can barely wait for a update. :DD
Author's Response: Thank you, and I'm very glad you liked it! That always make my day better. :)
Date: 03/13/10 02:19 pm Title: Chapter 4: September 25 - continued
a twisted kind of love that creates an amazig story! XD
Author's Response: Thank you very much! (:
Date: 02/26/10 11:22 am Title: Chapter 1: September 23
I really love this story, I usally don't makes reviews, I'm swedish and it is hard to finde the right words sometimes. But I felt that I really needed to write something about your story, the storyline is so different,so simpel and yet absolutely brilliant!
(And I can relate to your situation, are also up loding my first fic in english, and it is quite hard some times, but fun.)
Author's Response: I am really thankful for this review. And I know just what you mean about finding the right words. Thank you very much for reading!
Date: 02/23/10 04:10 pm Title: Chapter 3: September 25
Once againn, I LOVE IT.
And.. Just so you know, offer is always open. :]
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'll make sure you hear from me as soon as I get home from my trip to Oslo. (:
Date: 02/22/10 04:30 pm Title: Chapter 3: September 25
i feel so sorry for tom and i cant wait for the next update!
have fun seeing TH live!
Author's Response: I'll try to update as soon as I get home again. And I will for sure enjoy my time seeing TH live! :D
Date: 02/22/10 05:42 am Title: Chapter 3: September 25
I think I've just fallen inlove with this story. So good and I love all the updates. :) And TH-concert? Woha, which country? :)
Author's Response: I've been a bit off this week, but I'll be back home at Thursday, and then I'll try to update, either Friday or Saturday. And I'm going to the concert in Norway, now on Wednesday. :D
Date: 02/17/10 11:09 am Title: Chapter 1: September 23
This is a really nice story and I'm gonna keep on tracking it. I'm hoping for a quick update.
You are doing a great job with this story!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I hope I'll keep up the work with quick updates. (: