Date: 02/24/10 02:48 am Title: Acquiesced Disclosure
I would call that an awkward moment, when someone comes to tell you that you are actually not... you. I wouldn't want to be in Gustav's shoes right now. Although it's about time to tell Bill instead of sneaking behind his back :).
I wonder how Georg is going to feel when he finds out that Tom isn't actually dead (poor baby just hurt his head :( )
Author's Response: lol ja it would be awkward....but Bill will take it better than anyone expects lol....and I think Georg will be very very pissed lol.
Date: 02/23/10 02:42 am Title: Acquiesced Disclosure
It's too early for critique *falls back asleep*
On the other hand--stitches are put in to stop the bleeding. If Tom was STILL BLEEDING, he'd prolly be dead >.> Just saying.
Author's Response: stitches are used to close up a wound and speed up healing, not always to stop bleeding...I got stitches on my arm before; even though it had stopped bleeding they still stitched it shut. They also give them to you depending on how deep the wound is or how big/wide it is. (Aunt is a nurse)
Date: 02/22/10 09:47 pm Title: Acquiesced Disclosure
Whoa holy crap poor Bill Id be in shock to if that ever happend
Author's Response: lol he finds out more in the next chapter ;-)
Date: 02/20/10 12:49 pm Title: Noxious Fulmination
I've been thinking about this, and that Tom did wake up after those hours of being unconsious obviously shows he never slipped into a coma. Therefore I think he's in the clear because he so easily could have fallen into a coma in those hours, but he didn't. So there. Lol.
And geez, Georg is brutal! I wish he was bluffing.
Author's Response: exactly what I was getting at lol. I learned from my aunt (nurse) that the first hour is the most dangerous;if you get past the first hour then you are pretty much in the clear. :-)rnlol ja Georg is a bit nasty haha
Date: 02/19/10 05:14 pm Title: Noxious Fulmination
Yes, naughty Georg indeed!
But luckily Tom survived even if littöle wounded, but hopefully not too badly hurt. Poor thing. If I were him, I wouldn't go to sleep, though. But Georg is definitely having some issues there...
Author's Response: usually it is only after the first hour that you shouldn't go to sleep; he has been out for several hours already, so I thought it would be okay for him to sleep lol. Ja he somehow manages to escape stuff lol. Georg is having serious issues! He is scary! lol
Date: 02/19/10 05:04 pm Title: Lethal Endeavor
Oh dear! Is that Georg, is he? Tom just needs to find things out all by himself, doesn't he?
Anyways, I loved how Bill almost blurted out about Tom being his boyfriend. Cute :)
Author's Response: lol ja Tom is a bit stubborn and has to try to find out himself. At least he doesn't want Bill to get hurt lol. hahaha ja that was cute with Bill almost blurting out that Tom is more than his friend. His mom knows though, she just isn't saying anything yet lol.
Date: 02/19/10 04:56 pm Title: Precarious Annihilation
Dwarf-porn included! Nice, Lynn! :D
I'm happy to see that Tom is going to tell Bill some5thing at some point. He really should. Things are getting exciting...
Author's Response: ahhaha ja I had to add that in there, it was too funny to not include it lol..dwarf porn, indeed! lol
Date: 02/19/10 08:47 am Title: Noxious Fulmination
Um...he shouldn't go to sleep :/ He prolly has a concussion, at the least, PLUS a head wound... -.-
Author's Response: lol I know, but I was thinking....usually it is up to the first hour after that you have to stay awake. He was out for several hours, so I figured he was past that 1 hour mark lol.
Date: 02/19/10 08:41 am Title: Incredulous Foreboding
Oh! How interesting! I wonder what Georg's plan is...
One thing you might want to watch out for: you have a tendency to state things exactly as they are. Try to be more vague about things: less is more.
Another thing I noticed was that people rant a LOT in this fic. Like, Bill just immediately starts ranting to Natalie about Tom, before she even asks. Even if she is his best friend, I'm sure he'd want to keep SOME secrets, you know?
Author's Response: ohhh interesting! I didn't realize I had done that lol. I thought Nats asked haha...I am sure she asked what was wrong with him...
Date: 02/19/10 08:23 am Title: Fervent Ecstasy
Yay for a decent smut scene! Oh, and if it's NC-17 rated, then you don't need a warning in your fic ^^
Author's Response: ohhh okay, thank you! I wasn't sure if I needed to put that or not lol.
Date: 02/19/10 08:15 am Title: Salacious Astriction
Wait...they're already gonna...WHAT?! I mean, it's not entirely unrealistic; I'm just used to people taking things slower :3
Author's Response: hahahaha if you read a little closely I said they have been together for about 6 weeks or so ;-) I know that when two people truly care about one another they will do it before 6 weeks or so :-P
Date: 02/19/10 07:53 am Title: Efflorescent Allure
First review: The first thing I noticed was the tense changes. Sometimes you slip and speak in the past, when it should be in present (I think) and that really bugs me >_- I'm not saying change your fic into past tense or anything, just to make sure everything is in the correct tense :3
I really like your descriptions, though; you don't group them all together or use outrageous descriptions.
Next chappie!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for pointing that out! I have tried hard to make sure to use present tense. I will make sure to look more closely to spot those changes :-)
Date: 02/18/10 11:02 pm Title: Noxious Fulmination
Whew thank goodness Tom pulled through on this, and hopefully he learns to be more careful with himself. Great chapter Lynn :)
Author's Response: lol Thank you! rnJa, I hope he learns too! Tom can be so frustrating at how oblivious he can be to danger..or maybe he is just too stubborn lol.
Date: 02/18/10 12:26 am Title: Lethal Endeavor
"Mom, this is my boy... my friend, Tom." -- Oh, no one saw *that*... *rolleyes* *giggle*
Yay! Maldives! I can imagine the sexiness now :)
He flips the switch up - there is nothing, no light turns on in response. -- Scary..
Surveying the scene as he continues toward his bathroom, Tom does not hear the slight creak of the closet door or the shuffling noise of someone moving behind him. -- Even more scary! O.o
Aaaand he's knocked out. That's no good.
Author's Response: ahahahah you crack me up Daissa...rnrnand yes, very scary! rnrn*In Gir voice* I'm gonna sing the Doom song now...doom doom doom!!!!!! lol
Date: 02/17/10 09:52 pm Title: Lethal Endeavor
Ugh not again Tom will he ever learn, hopefully he will be ok though.
Author's Response: hahahaha I swear, he is always getting himself between a rock and a hard spot lol...out of the frying pan and into the fire lmfao
Date: 02/16/10 01:14 pm Title: Precarious Annihilation
Oh thank goodness Toms ok, I for sure thought he was gonna get hit, I hope they find all the answers they are looking for too.
Author's Response: lol nope, he doesn't get hit but it was a good cliff hanger eh? lolrnand they will find answers :-)rnThanks for taking time to read this, it really means a lot to me.
Date: 02/16/10 10:14 am Title: Fervent Ecstasy
botTom? -_- *is not very happy*
Author's Response: haha I'm sorry. :-PrnI have seen so many with Bill as the bottom, I wanted to switch it up a little ;-)rnrnThank you for taking the time to read. I hope you will enjoy the story :-)
Date: 02/16/10 06:10 am Title: Benign Reticence
What was up with the black car? Now I'm hooked. Good start. Slow is good.
Author's Response: lol you will see what the deal is with the black car soon, I promise. lolrnThank you for taking the time to read :-)
Date: 02/15/10 11:23 pm Title: Incredulous Foreboding
Jump out of the way, indeed :D
He takes the time to rub oil over his still wet body, giving it a soft sheen. -- I'll say it again. Sex-y.
And poor Bill :( Tomi's always runnin'.
Author's Response: hahha I am sure you know where I got the inspiration for that oil from, eh? lmfaornrnandja, i know poor Bill :-( rnrn*yells at Tom* Stop running all the damn time! Yre you freaking blind? Bill loves you! ahhahaha
Date: 02/15/10 11:12 pm Title: Incredulous Foreboding
Cliffy, cliffy :D. This is getting excited. I think this idea works well here, so I'll just wait again patiently for the next chapter.
Author's Response: lol ja I tend to do a few cliffys in the story hahaha...sorry, but I think it works well in the spots they are in lol.rnrn