Date: 03/08/10 08:31 am Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
Bill is home, safe and sound. Tho I would've hoped that Tom and that big guy would've picked a fight :D
I'm kinda sad that Tom called the doctor. But in a way not.
And WHY DOES NATHALIE TELL TOM!! and how on Earth does Nathalie know so much about Bill?? hmmm..... These didn't still open to me, still a mystery I see... hm..
I think it's so cute how Bill acts, all girly from time to time. Bitching 100% and kinda chidlish. It fits him, well the character.
I don't really have anything to say here.... I think the storyline is progressing, even tho it doesn't seem so. I like it because it's not rushed. Gives me a thrill :D
Sooooo, update soon! :)
-SoLonely-
Author's Response: I like Bill characters too, I wanted him to be believable and something like how the real Bill would act. Yeah this story is slow, but real published books are slow right? Thanks for your review!
Date: 03/08/10 06:29 am Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
I really like this chapter. I found Gordon pretty funny in this. He was definitely not fully awake to get the fact that Bill was missing.
Andreas is a trip, he is always so out of it. The fact that Bill was in the middle of all these people doing drugs made me laugh.
Another part where I thought Bill was funny and endearing was when Tom apologized about getting angry at him and leaving the bruises; Tom apologized for it and Bill had a list of apologies lol.
The part where they are tickling each other was so cute, and how Bill kept sneezing on his shoulder.
I am really looking forward tot heir doctor's appointment. Tom was quick to think of an excuse so Bill wouldn't put up a fight about going.
Author's Response: I think, apart from chapter 4, this was my favourite chapter to write. It has a mixture of serious and cute scenes of the twins. I'm glad you liked it too <33
Date: 03/08/10 04:26 am Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
okay, much better. my only concern is how Tom's fling will effect Bill, i hope he doesnt totally snap.. anyways, thanks for making Tom actually not just invite the girl back to mess around. i feel so bad for Bill right now.
Author's Response: See...Tom is a nice guy ^.^
Date: 03/07/10 06:55 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
I don't like where the doctor's appointment thing is going...I can only imagine how Bill will react. Plus I REALLY don't like Melisa. Can't wait to find out more!
Author's Response: Please don't worry! It's not going to be that bad, I promise.
Date: 03/07/10 03:45 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
ooh Tom's whole doctor's appointment excuse was very clever XD i wonder how it'll go...
Author's Response: Yes it was, but maybe Bill will find out!
Date: 03/07/10 03:20 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
OMG i love this :) and thx 4 thanking me haha :) aww hospital no good :( tomi needs 2 know he loves billlllaaa
Author's Response: I'm glad you like this story, reviews like yours mean the world to me *smile*
Date: 03/07/10 03:13 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
Ooookay; wow so.... I'm loving this completely! XD Bill is so cute!!! I just hope it's not too hard when they find out what Bill's 'condition' is but yeah... I'm loving it :D so Update ASAP! :D
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like this chapter, it's one of the happy one's *smile* Update will be very soon!
Date: 03/07/10 03:02 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
Hey, I'm loving it! Great emotions and great story telling! We want more :D Any ideas when the next chapter is out? 10/10! (Just for emphasis lol)
Author's Response: Thank you so much, I feel like this chapter is one of the happiest one's in this story *smile* I update every week, and that's a promise. The next chapter will be up within a few days, or next weekend.
Date: 03/07/10 02:54 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
o...i wonder how the appt. is going to go for bill.....
Author's Response: ...all will be revealed in the next chapter!
Date: 03/07/10 02:01 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
Hee, that was cute and at least now Tom is learning what things he shouldn't do to set his brother off, like bringing Melisa back to the apartment. I'm looking forward to more
Author's Response: Yes, he's now aware that something is different with Bill and what he shpuldn't do to upset him. Thanks for your review!
Date: 03/07/10 01:33 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
YAAAAAAY UPDATE! :D I smiled when I saw the new chapter. It was wonderful and I can't wait to see what happens at the doctor's :)
Author's Response: I love updates too! The doctors will be fun....to write that is ;]
Date: 03/07/10 01:28 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Promises
haha, well am I not known for my super observant brain! fine, that one should have clicked, but now I get it. don't judge me I'm a natural blonde! *hides behind pillow* ANYWAYSS! great chapter! haha, that andi part made me laugh so hard. and that melisa girl seems kinda nice, but I kinda hate her too. but that's just because I'm obsessed with twincest. really, I should be worried x) can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Ha ha, I'm glad your following now ^.^ Melisa only wants Tom, but I hate her a little too. Twincest! I can read it, but sometimes I get to scared to write it *Hides*
Date: 03/05/10 12:26 am Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
Before I say anything else, I just want to say that this story has me hooked!
And now the critique: it is kinda slow. I'm actually loving this though so don't go changing the pace -- I mean it! The slowness is good cause it allows you to build this well thought out universe, the twins' lives and the people in them, and show enough of both boys POVs so that the readers know where they currently stand with their thoughts and feelings. I'm only saying it's slow, because it's taken 9 chapters for your story to get to what your summary has already mentioned. But that's just me and my original expectations, and I think the story would have suffered if you'd rushed it.
And now the praise: You're writing is clear and easy to follow, and you use just the right amount of description -- you paint a very vivid picture, w/o being flowery/wordy. Also, your author's voice is compelling: you really know how to utilize angst and write from each character's POV w/o holding punches -- meaning you're characters are *very* believable. And even though this same basic plot has been done a million times on this site, you've managed to make it unique, interesting and just as believable as your characters.
The writing isn't perfect, as your flow can be a little choppy and your grammar could sometimes use a beta reader, but I'm guessing you're still in high school (maybe?), so with the polish that should naturally come with time and more writing, I'm betting your stories will one day be astounding. This one is already amazing and I'm very definitely looking forward to the next chapter (& a happy resolution -- I'm all worried it's not going to end happy because you are writing Tom too well, exactly as if he is completely straight and harbors no romantic feelings for Bill other than brotherly love -- I'm really worried!)
Author's Response: *Hugs tightly* Thank you so much for this amazing review! I've never received one this long or this kind. I'm glad it had you hooked ;]rnYes this story is slow, but in the publishing world, most stories are slower than the ones on this site. I often find by chapter 2 a story here had pretty much met its peak. I try not to rush because each chapter follows Bill or Tom, mostly Tom at the moment. I was incredibly scared that I'd rushed some parts. I want the readers to take in every little detail I add, even if it just drags time. rnrnI think I've found what I'm good at, writing angst! I'm glad they're believable. It’s hard to write a story about people who already exists, people with have the real Bill and Tom in their mind or the twins from another story they've read. rnrnNo, my writing is very scruffy at the moment and I'm not too bothered about it. I don't use a beta reader because they take too long to reply, and I'm often sitting there changing my whole story just to fix a small mistake. Yes, I'm in Senior school *I’m English* and I'm 15 :] I do hope one day my stories will be astounding! rnrnThe end, ah. I actually have about 5 ideas in my head. Some of them too predictable, others too sad. I really don't know what I'll do. rnrnThanks again for your review, it's truly made my day and made me feel much more confident about my writing <33rn
Date: 03/04/10 11:54 pm Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
NO he cant go 2 the doctor...omg more plz
Author's Response: Don't worry, very soon!
Date: 03/04/10 07:22 pm Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
Does Bill have a mental sickness, is that why he's becoming obsessed with Tom? aw, poor Bill:' ( And stupid jackass Tom, arrrg! can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Yes he does, the clue is in the title *Erotomania*....Google it ;]rn
Date: 03/04/10 04:24 pm Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
Thanks for mentioning me again, honey! :D Makes me feel important :P ^^ lol
Both their attitudes now, though, are kind of messed up. I mean, they don't understand each other AT ALL D: that must not be good for any of them! :/ Lack of communication can be doom for any relationship!
Please, tell me you'll make it better? :3 Pretty please with chocolate and twins on top? ^^
Author's Response: You are important! You're reading one of my stories ^.^ I hope their relationship isn't doomed! I'll have to change that. Hmm, how shall I make it better? I'll think of something chocolaty.
Date: 03/04/10 04:34 am Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
Why, doesn't Tom see it? Anyways, love the chap. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Tom lives in a little bubble, and he only sees Bill as a brother. Thanks for your review though!
Date: 03/03/10 11:18 pm Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
Tom didnt even care enough to consider making the girl leave, then let her sit in Bills chair and insult him? Tom shouldve tossed her ass out onto the corner that she 'models' on... *groans* i don't like this chapter, but i like it more than the last one since Tom now sees he is acting like an asshole. then he hurt Bill, who probably either ran off to work and slept there or he couldve gotten kidnapped... well, either way Tom better hope he even finds Bill... i hope in future chapters that you stop writing Tom as a dumbass jerk of a brother.
Author's Response: I'm sorry, I'm disappointing you T_T Yes, that the last of Tom being such a jerk. He will clean up his act :]
Date: 03/03/10 10:56 pm Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
I'm so loving all the angst in this! *is a masochist* It's done wonderfully, making the story so intriguing. Loved this chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was worried I'd over done it with all the angst ^.^
Date: 03/03/10 10:43 pm Title: Chapter 9 - The Morning After
Okay uhmmm wow!!! I have to say I really wasn't expecting this when I read the summary but this is truly awesome! I can't wait for more!!! :D So UPDATE!!! XD
Author's Response: Hehe, maybe I need to change my summary. Yep, that's my next job! Thanks for such a great review!