Date: 05/16/11 10:57 pm Title: Chapter 7
THIS IS REALLY GOOD!!
WHEN WILL U POST THE REST??
Date: 05/19/09 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 7
aweh this is so sad but amazing
Date: 06/10/08 08:30 am Title: Chapter 7
Awwww, I never saw there was an update! :O and... oh, things are explained now :) if I were Bill, it'd smash Tom's head on the first thing I saw -.- he'd been a real jerk! Please update soon :)
Date: 04/25/08 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 7
please continue..
i want to see what happens next~:D
Date: 03/25/08 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 7
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
that's all for now
keep writting if you what more LOL xD
*happy grins*
Date: 03/23/08 09:35 am Title: Chapter 7
O///O ... this was so cute
Date: 03/21/08 05:14 pm Title: Chapter 2
Caps isn't always required to denote screaming or yelling. It gets repetitive after a moment when you're trying to read.
I tried to get through the chapter but the fact that you refuse to use paragraphs makes me want to skip the whole thing.
In your chapter notes, when you ask if you should go on and you don't even capitalize the letter 'I', it makes me want to say no. No, maybe you shouldn't continue.
Author's Response: well.. that's what you think, so i respect that..
Date: 03/21/08 05:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm confused about a few things. It seems like you haven't really run this through a spellchecker at all, and you're missing punctuation.
As for the story, your use of imagery seems slightly off. I applaud you for trying to find other words than "said" but it's important that the words or phrase you choose fit the mood of the scene.
I must ask, do you have a beta? The order of the words in your sentences make me think you're not a native English speaker. Either way you should look into getting a beta. They would be able to help you with flow, show you how to use paragraphs correctly, and refine your plot and characterizations.
Because even though I read this chapter twice I still can't figure out why Bill's so angry with Tom and everyone else.
Date: 03/21/08 05:00 pm Title: Chapter 7
Omg... This is so great!
It fits so perfectly with everything.
And I just can't believe this was the reason Bill was like that to Tom.
First I thought Bill is so bad in this story, but now I totaly understand him.
It's so sad :(
Please write more xxx
Date: 03/21/08 01:17 pm Title: Chapter 7
oh gosh!! this story is soo awesom! damn david i wanna kill him! keep going sooon please!:):)
Date: 03/21/08 01:01 pm Title: Chapter 7
Jeeej, finally an update! :D
And I love this story.. although.. not the part about David of course :S
I hope Tom will kick his as ;)
Date: 02/26/08 11:25 am Title: Chapter 6
this is why I love twin fights x'D
Date: 02/26/08 11:18 am Title: Chapter 5
holy shit. im gonna die O.O
Date: 02/24/08 09:03 pm Title: Chapter 6
ooer! now we know why Bill's all bitchy and dick-headed to Tom...! hehe. some action would come soon, yeah? XD
great job, please continue! :D
Date: 02/24/08 11:31 am Title: Chapter 6
So this is why Bill was all bitchy? I thought it was because he had been raped and then was afraid of someone going close to him o.O but this is ten times better :D c'mon go on I can't wait for more!
Date: 02/24/08 11:19 am Title: Chapter 6
*gasp*
For the first time in a long time, I squeal at an update. And this was the one making me do it.
Awesome! Amazing! So cute! :D
Date: 02/24/08 11:07 am Title: Chapter 6
YOu and your cliffhangers XD
But i seriously love this fic!!
thanks so much for updating!!
Please update it soon ^_^
Date: 02/23/08 06:03 pm Title: Chapter 5
Tom screw up this time :(
Poor Bill