I cann't wait for the next chapter! I loved this one...I love the way you portrayed Bill and I'm totally jealous of Amber! Love love love

Love this :} post more as soon as you can please :}

Normally, I don’t read stories because I write extremely long reviews in response to it. However, your story managed to catch my interest as I was looking in Recent Stories section. (I had just posted one of my stories and I wanted to see how it looked up there; weird, I know.) Anyway, this is merely a constructive critique. You don’t have to listen to me at all if you don’t want to, and you might disagree with me; that’s okay, too. But since I read the story, I figured I might as well leave my opinion behind for the current chapters you have out.

Okay, so let’s start with the Prologue (which makes TOTAL sense since it’s the first chapter, right?) I thought that the dream was a rather interesting beginning to the story. Well, it was more of a nightmare, wasn’t it? It was something to let us see into Bill’s mind from the very beginning, which is always nice. However, I think you should space out your paragraphs more in the first one like you idd in the chapters that followed. It’s a lot easier to read if you do.

Now onto “Chapter One”! It just HAD to be a Monday, didn’t it? I don’t know a single person who likes Mondays! I even groaned whenever I read that. The explanation of why Amber was so interested in Bill was nice. I think that her opinion can be reflected in a lot of other girls as well. One thing I want to point out, though, is that you meant to say she “could NOT care less” not “could care well.” That’s a very common mistake, but that one small word changes the meaning entirely. If you’re saying she could care less then that means that she has some room in her heart to care about the fact that she’s not popular. That’s not what you’re trying to say, correct? You might want to look back at that for a second. Another thing I didn’t particularly like (and this is JUST opinion-based, so ignore me if you think I am wrong) is that the school appears to just be split into two different types of people: the jocks/preps and the “outsiders.” Where’re the nerds, geeks, Goths, and athletes that ALWAYS exist in schools? I mean, it just seems really unrealistic if there are just MOSTLY preps and jocks and a few outsiders that band together. If I read that wrong, though, feel free to correct me. I did like that Amber had a mind of her own. She doesn’t care if people don’t like her because of her appearance; after all, personality is ALWAYS better than the way you look! Seeing someone with a backbone really allows me to place myself in her place, you know? ‘Cause I am the same way. And Amber’s train of thought TOTALLY reflects my own half the time. I mean, it reflects it almost to a “T,” and it’s rather scary to read it in a story. I feel like you just ripped thoughts out of my head!! What’s more: poor Bill! You give a very sympathetic view of him in this story, and I can’t help but feel worse for him than I already feel. That poor guy puts up with so much already…

“Chapter Two” now! I don’t live anywhere near where the boys were two years ago, so I had to head up to Chicago in order to see them in concert but never got to go to a signing. So whenever I read everything, I could feel my own heart pumping faster as a jolt of joy shot through my veins. I would have COMPLETELY had the exact same reaction! Only my mother wouldn’t have argued with me about it so much (since she knows that that wouldn’t stop me anyway.) Liz seems pretty spunky even though she sounds like a friend I have in real life; I have to almost pull teeth of one of my friends in order to get favors from her, I swear! Once more, though, I feel totally bad for Bill. However, I found that your transition from them being on stage to in an airplane rather sudden. It didn’t flow well at all, and I think that you should go back and change it so that it isn’t so abrupt. (Honestly, I was confused for a second, thinking I had missed something while reading.)

On to “Chapter Three”! I can imagine how SLOW that week had to pass for Amber because I can remember how slow the week before the Tokio Hotel concert passed. Here’s a grammar catch, though. “Well, I figured, Amber is such a good friend, I should do this more her,” Liz lied. First of all, you mean “for her” and not “more her” or maybe even “I should do more for her.” Secondly, I would rephrase this to: “Well, I figured that Amber is such a good friend that I should do at least this for her,” Liz lied. That flows a lot better for me. But kudos to you for actually understanding the difference between a period and a comma in a sentence! That’s one of the most messed up things in the English language by writers, and I’m SO HAPPY to see that you know the difference between them! It makes everything flow better together! Be careful, though, and don’t capitalize “city” if it’s the middle of a sentence unless you write “New York City” completely. If you don’t, it just doesn’t look correct and would actually look better (in my opinion) lowercase. Moving on now: I think Bill’s reaction was rather adorable; any girl would melt if Bill actually thought that of her. Or, at least, I know that I would!

“Chapter Four”!!! (I know, REALLY LONG review. Do you see now why I don’t really read stories anymore? This is what I wind up doing for a good hour after reading.) Amber’s reaction is COMPLETELY believable! I mean, what girl WOULDN’T be on Cloud Nine after being in front of Bill and being winked at him? Numbness is a fantastic reaction, and it makes me wonder if maybe you got to go a Tokio Hotel signing and that’s how you felt? Back to Bill now; could you explain to me how Tom knew where she was going? I reread this chapter, and I didn’t understand HOW he knew she was going to 7-Star Restaurant unless he was freaking psychic. After all, didn’t she not only go outside but also get inside a taxi before revealing her future location? That would be well out of ear-range. So if you could clear that up for me, it would be fantastic.

Gah! Onto “Chapter Five” (are you tired yet of reading about my opinion and what I have to say?) As I said before, you posted it the text twice. I don’t know if it’s a glitch or not, but I get most of the story before it just suddenly starts itself over! Anyway, Liz is a really good friend all things considering. After all, she didn’t like Tokio Hotel but still went to New York City with Amber and then even asked her friend how everything went. Stalker!Bill was pretty creepy, though. I can just picture him in the shadows of an alley, waiting for Amber to leave the restaurant that he thought she was at. His anticipation in seeing her again, wondering if she was still there or not and so on. But she gets to hang out with Bill Kaulitz, so it’s all good, right? I cannot wait until I can read their conversation! I’m hoping that it’ll be interesting and allow us to see more into Bill’s mind and what he is thinking. After all, he’s taking a large risk by allowing Amber to get to know him on such a personal level, especially after only seeing her at first. Slightly unrealistic? Yes. Do I care? Honestly, not in the least.

I know that you don't get a lot of reviews because Het isn't so popular on this site (not as popular as Slash, at least) so just keep on writing, and I will look forward to seeing more chapters. Don't allow the lack of readers or reviews to drag you down in the least (not saying you do, but still...)! Hope that I didn’t overwhelm you with my opinion. Sincerely, Less Than Three (by the way, you just read a little over 1,300 words).

Author's Response: Wow, this is a longgg review. And I enjoyed it! I fixed most of the typos you mentioned. In Chapter One, perhaps I wasn't clear, there are in fact nerds and goths and all of them. They are the monority though, most of the kids are the jocks/pretty girls. Second, Gustav is the one who is told by Amber that she is going to the 7-Star Restaurant to meet her friend, not Tom. I figured Amber would say this because Gustav doesn't really talk and she didn't want things to be awkward so she kind of rambled. Then Bill looked up the restaurant on his Blackberry and drove there. And for Chapter 5 I'm sorry I didn't realize I posted twice lol! And yes, I had trouble with 5 because I don't want it to seem unrealistic. The whole Bill looking for her thing is quite unrealistic but I decided to go with it instead of scrapping the idea. Also, I'm glad you think Bill is creepy, it will come into play more later on XD

Hey, be careful with this chapter because you wound up posting the same text twice so it repeats after a little bit. You should probably fix that up ASAP!

Author's Response: Done, thank you!

lol @ Bill...yeah don't let Tom fuck it up...he's had his, now you get yours XD

I love this fic...can't wait for the next bit xxx

Author's Response: Dakne :D Yeah, I iddn't mean that Bill was gonna like kill Tom he just doesn't want Tom bothering him lol

Haha, I'm very sad to say I actually got very, very excited when she was in line. Like I was there, or something. I think this is turning into a really good story, and if something bad happens, I'll cry about it, because it has that feeling of reality. Amazing. Love it so far, love you! .

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Good job! Keep it up! Lol!

*__*
A M A Z I N G!

Author's Response: haha thanks!

I love it! (:
I can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks!