Date: 01/16/10 05:31 pm Title: Nightmares
Okay, so hopefully you don't think that since I didn't review this last night that I hated it or anything. I have time restrictions on my computer that shut it off at midnight and it was 11.58 when I finished reading this. I wanted to leave a good long review so I figured it would be better to review in the morning when I had time. So yeah. I didn't hate it xD
This was very well written. I could see everything that was happening which means you have amazing description. You're really creative, too, which I love. I hate when people use the same exact things that everyone else is using, it pisses me off. I like to read new ways of doing things.
It was so terribly sad because of what happened to the twins, but it makes for a really good story because they're both so broken and you have to wonder how they got away from that lifestyle. You're not revealing anything which is keeping me in suspense, trying to figure out exactly what happened that they escaped from what was happening to them. I applaud you for that, it's hard to write a good suspenseful story [for me, anyway, because I tend to act like a reader of my own story and get impatient for people to figure out what's going on xD] and you pulled it off great.
I really adore this story. It was on my tracked list for a while but my tracked stories are all unfinished, so it's bugging me having so many. I usually read the finished ones, review every chapter, and then if I didn't like them too much I just stop tracking them, and if I did like them I stop tracking them but add them to my favorites. I'm kind of OCD about that xD But yeah, this was on my tracked and it was the most interesting-looking one so I decided that I'd start off the unfinished reviewing by reading this. And I'm glad I did :]
Is it okay if I self-advertise and ask if you can read my story n.e.c.r.o.m.a.n.c.y.? So far it only has one chapter [might be adding the second one today] but it's got a lot of angsty stuff in it, and Bill is really tortured mentally and physically in it and it's the same feeling I get from this one. Like, Bill tries to hang himself in it because he doesn't want to be dead [long story...and that sounds like a total oxymoron xD] and Tom finds him and it's so sweet x3 But yeah, I think you might like it. You don't have to if you don't want to, just suggesting x3
Anyway, my point of this chapter is that you really did well with this and I loved it [even though it was sad]. The emotions were really well written too, you managed to make the pedophile guy hated by the readers [sometimes they're not well-written enough and they're just one-dimensional characters] and for everyone to root for the twins [again, sometimes people end up writing them as one-dimensional characters >.>]. This is just truly a good story and I can't wait to read more of it x3
Author's Response: Whoa. *_* <3 ^_^ -- I didn't have a clue what to respond to this with and it took me awhile to come up with something lol (oh and let me apologise now if this all turns into one giant paragraph, because for some reason it hasn't been putting line breaks, even if I use html >.<)rnrnFirst - thank you so so so much for the compliments and praise!! ='} Srsly. I appreciate it SO MUCH. rnrnIn the next chapter, a lot more will be revealed. I'm still re-editing the next chapter(I actually have like 10 written already, but I keep editing them because I want them longer than they are, so more is explained, you know?). I agree with it being hard to write suspense, I'm kind of like you, in that aspect. I become my own reader and want to explain what I already know is happening, even though I KNOW it shouldn't show up for awhile. I'm trying though lol rnrnI'll take a look at your story :) I don't really read that much fanfic these days. I'm not entirely sure why O_o lol I've only read like three stories on here. I mostly just read ophelia_seven's stuff because I beta for her, but other than that, not much. rnrnThe pedophile guy is ...a sickening character to write D: I hate it, and I keep adding new elements to him and what he does and ick. :( Thank you soo so so so much for the compliments, really. I don't know if I can say that enough lol <3
Date: 01/15/10 11:50 pm Title: Secrets
Oh, this is so sad. The twins don't even want to talk about it and it's just...agh. This is so terribly sad. But I can't wait for the next chapter >:D
Author's Response: Thank you so much for commenting, btw. It is really quite sad :( I'm reworking the next chap to be posted. It's not ...workin with me. *growls at it* Hopefully get it posted ~soon lol
Date: 01/15/10 11:47 pm Title: I'm Sorry
Ugh, Bill and Tom knew about the tapes and everything and they didn't tell Simone ;-; That's understandable because abused kids usually don't tell their parents about it, but it's so sad. That she had to find out that way. And that Bill was begging for forgiveness. That broke my heart ;-;
Author's Response: ;___; just thinking about it makes my heart hurt too :(
Date: 01/15/10 11:44 pm Title: The First Of Many
Wow, that must have been so hard for Simone to witness. I don't think much about what real-life KC would be like for Simone to find about [if it was real] and now I'm starting to think about it. That would be terrible :/
The writing style is nice, though. I like how you describe things :]
And you've got me really curious for chapter four xD
Author's Response: Simone still doesn't know what to do :( .... and I agree, if I think irl she found something like that she'd be very upset. Thank you for the compliments! <3
Date: 01/14/10 07:08 am Title: Nightmares
oh my god. poor boys. this is horrid, though well written. i'm hanging on for the eventual happy ending. i'm glad simone found out though, because then she cant help them hopefully. even if its over, they still need lots of healing, obviously. keep up the good work.
Author's Response: <3 for the review! Yes, they need a tremendous amount of healing :(
Date: 01/10/10 12:31 am Title: Nightmares
Man, that was harsh.
A brilliantly well put together chapter on a very hard, unspeakable topic xxx
Author's Response: Oh thank you so much for your review <3
Date: 01/09/10 02:47 pm Title: Nightmares
oh my lord. That was shocking!
xx
Author's Response: :( Poor Bill ;__;
Date: 01/09/10 02:12 pm Title: The First Of Many
O_O Where at in Hobbs??? I am supposed to be moving there with a friend of mine to work at a teen shelter. You're offically the first person I've met on this site who lives in NM like me..
Well the offer stands, you are welcome to borrow any creepies from my head if its needed.
Author's Response: Where at in Hobbs? ...Hobbs has four main streets XD there is no 'where at in hobbs' lmfao Are you coming to work at the Humphrey House? ...you're the first ToHoz fan I've met that lives in NM too lol
Date: 01/09/10 02:00 am Title: Nightmares
Oh god, this chapter was so hard to read. I have to admit I ended up skimming through a lot of the hardcore stuff. ;__; I want things to be better for the boys!
Author's Response: lol I would have skimmed too. It's terrible stuff! D: Makes me upset. Things will most def get better for them soon...ish. <3
Date: 01/08/10 02:47 pm Title: Nightmares
we all knew they were broken and now we finally get to see how broken. this was an amazing chapter.
Author's Response: Aww :> thank you so muchhh!
Date: 01/08/10 10:57 am Title: The First Of Many
Hence why you've more balls than me to post your own evil while mine will stay hidden in the dark little shadows.. If you ever need help with ideas for the dark evils you're very welcome to borrow from my head. Lord knows I've enough evils to supply a new saw film + several other horror movies.
Author's Response: Sooo... I stalked you. Are you really in Carlsbad? I'm in Hobbs O_O lol ... and I will definitely keep that in mind if I need something worse than what I have..which, actually, I hope I don't ;____; I feel upset enough with what I have. I don't want to do worse, but sometimes it's needed. ;___________;
Date: 01/08/10 10:37 am Title: Nightmares
*sniff* bill... *sniff* nicely done
waiting till the next update
Author's Response: Yes, poor things ;__; So tragic. Thank you for the review! Next update soon-ish :)
Date: 01/08/10 05:04 am Title: Nightmares
Poor Bill and Tom...
Author's Response: Agreed *sniff* Thank you for reading!
Date: 01/08/10 04:58 am Title: Nightmares
This story and particularly this chapter have been exstreamly hard for me to read. Don`t worry that`s good. :) In this circumstance that it has to be difficult to read or it`s disrecpectful to any one who`s survived that. Anywho, I think this is a really interesting and well written story and I look forward to the rest.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliments! I agree, it probably is really hard for some people to read, it's hard for ME to read and I'm the one writing it :(
Date: 01/08/10 02:10 am Title: Nightmares
T__T it was horribal! poor bill and tom.... but i will continue reading! this story hs an ending and hopefuly a good one even if it dosnt turn out happy i will read it to the end to find out what happenes.
Author's Response: There will most definitely be at least a bittersweet ending. <3 thank you so much for reviewing!
Date: 01/08/10 01:14 am Title: The First Of Many
I actually have no plans on posting it, only a select few actually will be given access to the private file as its being written.
I will say this, Bill does get to meet a hot iron poker internally at some point.
Author's Response: D: THAT IS TERRIBLE. I don't think I can think of torture situations ... it took all my effort just to come up with the things I have scattered in here, which are very very tame in comparison to that O_O lol
That is such a terrible image I have in my head right now D:
Date: 01/08/10 12:50 am Title: Nightmares
I don't see why you think people would stop reading...
I really liked it.
I mean, don't think I actually enjoyed that sick shit, but it really added to the story
The flashback really made me understand the whole situation better
And I'm even more excited for more.
Author's Response: My beta says I think too much. I guess because ~I'm~ so disturbed at myself for writing this, that it would automatically make others stop reading it? ...there...really is no method to my thought process O_o lol I'm kind of just assuming based on myself :-/ Like I said, I would never even click the link, just based on the warnings alone... I ... idek :( rnrnThank you so much for your review! I'm so happy that people are liking the story even with the content! ...Writing this is challenging everything I've ever done. <3
Date: 01/07/10 09:17 pm Title: Nightmares
Okay no idea if I have actually reviewed or not.. you have more balls than I do my dear. This isn't even a tenth of the evils I have planned for Bill in a fic and you're willing to post it. I commend you, and look forward to reading more. As for your beta, may they never come to my dark little ally of fiction writing, I might scare them to death.
Author's Response: Thank youu.. <3 D: I hope my beta doesn't stumble into your fic either, if it's worse than this lol
Date: 01/07/10 09:11 pm Title: Nightmares
Painful, but necessary, chapter. Good job. I'm still reading.
Author's Response: Thank youuu I'm so glad you're going to continue reading! <3
Date: 01/07/10 08:33 pm Title: Nightmares
you gave a warning, but i've read much, much, much, much worse than this. good job (:
Author's Response: It makes me feel better to know that people have read worse, because honestly, I feel so bad for writing this D: ... I've never written anything like this in my life, nor READ anything like it. I'm more of a MAJOR-ANGST reader. I gag at fluff and get disturbed by stuff like this. I just like my angst with a dash of happiness and I'm good haha Thank you so much for the compliment <3