Date: 12/20/09 08:44 pm Title: Chapter 5
Oh my God, I can't believe Bill just injected cyanide in her. I don't care how DILUTED and barely any amount it is. Cyanide is cyanide! >:( Where the Hell would he get glucose from? Vampires, man... lol I wonder what else was in the mixture? It was probably some bleach or crack or something. >,>
Raven's still going strong! Jeez, I expected myself to have pity for her but I don't. Since she wants to act like a badass and be so rebellious, she gets what she gets. At first, I applauded her for it, but after this chapter, I think she just need to sit back and play her role. She heard Bill talking about her so why doesn't she go along with him until the real plan pops up and then she can decided whether to comply or not? Ugh. haa But that's how the story goes. ^^
I feel bad for Georg. I don't know why he's a slave just yet, but when I do, it probably wouldn't change anything. Literally slaving for a dumb bitch like that, and some bipolar vampire? Me? Not even.
I love you story. The way you describe thinks really get me into it. (As you read. =p) You aren't really updating to slow for me, or too fast. I'm happy to get what I get when I get it. I'm content. =D
Author's Response: yay! I love reading your reviews! They're so detailed and helpful :D I chose cyanide cos it's the only one I know that causes significant amount of pain, even if it is lethal no matter the concentration XD But yeah, creative lisence there allowed me to think that adrenaline might just save her XD And he will say what was in it later, when the FULL explanation comes in like, chapter 12 or 13 or something XD Lol, yeah, I wanted the readers to stop feeling sorry for her for a while before (hopefully) they will pity her again in an upcoming chapter :P She doesn't go along with him because she is a little too hot headed and doesn't think before she acts, and now she's got too deep into her little plan to get out easily XD There is a point to her being stupid though, she will realise it soon, but not after like one or two more chapters when a large bit of drama happens :D Yeah, also wanna clarify that you WILL find out why Georg is a slave but not quite yet, only when some more characters are in the story :D Thanks so much for loving my story XD It really motivates me and inspires me to continue when I know people enjoy it :D I'm glad the description helps too, because I sometimes get unsure whether that aspect is very good :P Thanks again for your review AND did you notice the banner? *pokes banner* I FINALLY got around to making it, though it's pretty bad compared to what it could be because ever since my laptop died my graohics software wouldn't re-download so I'm kinda stuffed XD I had to do it on paint! I tell you, that bird was the hardest in normal paint XD Anyway, thanks again for the review *hugs* you'll be sure to get a dedication :P
Date: 12/19/09 05:55 am Title: Chapter 4
I'll admit; with the main character's name being "Raven," I almost clicked the "back" button, as it's a name used for punk-ish Mary Sues that are beautiful, unloved, full of 'tude, and given the raw end of the deal for no reason. And while your "Raven" fits many of those attributes, I find the story so interesting and her mindset so refreshing that I don't mind in the slightest. She seems to think like a normal person, which is really nice, rather than someone who's either exceptionally shallow or self-loathing. And the brutally painful admission in the previous chapter, where she realized that it felt nice to be wanted by someone, even if their attentions were non-consensual... it was subtle and heartbreaking at the same time. Good writing :D. Also, Dark!Bill is scary, but intriguing. I'm both nervous and excited for the next chapter, and I hope you update soon! I suppose "a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet" doesn't ALWAYS apply for every name/character, but it definitely does for yours. Thank you for giving me the chance to get outside of my snobby box and I'll try not to be so judgmental in the future! :D
Author's Response: Wow! I actually squealed when I saw such a detailed review! Thank you SO much! I realise the overuse of 'Raven' in a fic like this can sometimes turn people away, but it is pretty important for one chapter when she meets Tom and a different girl :D I know that she may seem alot of attitude and stuff but she doesn't meet me as a mary sue because she is so rebellious XD Again, the attitude is important in the storyline as you can see, but her beauty is also pretty important when the story progresses :P I'm glad you find it interesting and you don't mind some of those characteristics, but I would just like to clarify that later in the story I AM hoping to clarify why she was put in this situation, it isn't just for no reason as it seems now :D That line where she realuses that it was the first time she was wanted - i didn't think it would have so much affect, but I'm so happy that the reviews I have received have clarified that it did - I'm very happy about that :D I'm also extremely proud of the fact that I managed to pull yu away from your normal 'judgemental' reading as you put it, I know that many things at the start of this story may cause people to stop reading :/ Thanks for the review, it really has inspired me to continue and work as hard as I have on this story - I think that it is by FAR the most well written and interesting of my fics - I may have to start spending longer on those chapters too to get them up to the standard that I seem to be able to write at the moment :D Thanks again for the review! I'm hoping to update again today/tomorrow/or monday at the latest, then again on wednesday and also one of christmas eve :D THANKS FOR THE REVIEW!
Date: 12/18/09 09:12 pm Title: Chapter 4
OO, WB is no friend to a writer!
Anyway, although this is a filler chapter and serves its purpose to move the story along, it did its job well to me! =} Very descriptive, and more of Georg and Bill is being revealed. Awesome! =D
Author's Response: glad you like it :D Sorry about the filler and stuff, but yeah I wanted Georg a little more involved because he is a huge part of the storyline :P And tell me about writrs block! *headdesk* Thanks for the lovely review! *huggles* :D
Date: 12/12/09 12:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
It's me again (sorry...) and I read your Author's Response on my first review. When I said "eh" I meant that it could be tricky to begin a story. I know that when I write my first chapter, it's important because it starts the story and you want it to make the readers interested and everything. I wasn't saying your first one was bad or anything, just that the first chapters tend to be a bit tricky for an author. That's all. ^_^"
Author's Response: Oh! I understand now! And about you reviewing a second time - it just makes you extra special and awesome for making my review count go up XD loves xx
Date: 12/12/09 12:10 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wow! So Georg's a slaveboy, huh? That would make sense. lol I wonder if it'll be revealed on why/how he was made a slave and how he even met Bill. Poor Raven. Bill's REALLY showing his dark side and the fact that you say there are darker characters than him makes me nervous. In a good way. ;} Back to Raven though, I like how she's a tough cookie and is so headstrong. Even though Bill has the ultimate upperhand, she's still very testy! So nice!
-Oh you're welcome. =} I notice that not many people are reading this. Maybe a banner would attract more readers? (Sometimes the great stories like this are skipped over because pretty banner can take the attention away.)
-No update for a week? Sadness. I write my stories like you do (in revision breaks) because I'm in school and Tokio Hotel doesn't consume my life, you know? They can't get me into college unless the Dean's daughter is a huge fan but she's rather lonely because of it and he's desperate to make her happy and I would be perfect her BFF since we like Tokio Hotel so much. lol That would be so unlikely, if not impossible to happen. lol
-It was my pleasure to read and you're welcome! ^_^
Author's Response: Don't worry! All will definately be revealed about georg! Oh and I just Want to clear somthing up, my bff read this and got really confused as to why bill was angry when he got in, but that will be revealed too xD and I'm glad that's the way you feel about raven, because that's how I wanted her to come across so I'm very pleased :D yeah, I do need to get around to making a banner, but i need to get around to downloading the software I use because my laptop died :S sorry about the long wait for and update but yeah, you said yourself that school is more important. Other than that thanks again for your continuing support and awesome reviews, and I would have responded in more detail if I wast on my iPod suppost to be sleeping XD thanks again! Xxx
Date: 12/10/09 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 2
I like Bill's character! lol Georg's seems a bit weird but that's because not too much of him has been talked about. Raven's not bad, and it surprises me that she was so depressed at the home that being drugged and abducted felt great in some ways. It surprised me that Bill rushed in and implied a threat when he told her to EAT IT. xD
-Constructive criticism is not my best suit. I see how it could help a person become better at what they're doing but I just don't do it. Don't get me wrong, if I see something that's out-of-line, or just plain wrong, I'll step in. Other than that, I'm always reviewing honestly and try to motivate. Continue with what you're doing, hun, 'cause I think you're good at it. =D
Author's Response: wow, long review - and mighty helpful and inspirational too :D *hugs* Georg's character is around more in chapter three, but his character isn't fully explained until further into the story :) Glad you like Bill's character, I know he is often used as the dark one, but there's more dark characters further into the story :) And Raven is the one I'm REALLY finding it hard to write about, because I don't want her to move the story along too quickly, or to be totally unrealistic, so I'm glad that you find her OK. And lol, I didn't intend for Bill to be slightly amusing in that line, but now I look back on it is a little funny XD And don't worry about the constructing criticism - I understand. I really appreciate your highly inspirational, motivational, and honest review, and hope that you will continue to support me and help me in these ways. Thanks for the review :) *hands world tour tickets* xD
Date: 12/10/09 06:53 pm Title: Chapter 1
Heyyyy I was in a read-y mood and decided to just click on some randoms. =} I clicked this and I'm happy I did. It's not that bad. First chapters are almost always like "eh" so you shouldn't feel so bad about it. lol
Author's Response: Thanks - I'm glad you read it too XD And about the first chapters being 'eh' - I don't understand :/ Do you mean they are bad, or do you mean that people don't tend to read them until there are more chapters? Thanks for the review, they mean alot :D xx
Date: 12/09/09 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
I like the start of the story. Can't wait to see what happens.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Seeing as I only have three reads (which is slightly concerning O.o) it really is a relief to see that someone is enjoying it. Hopefully another chapter will be up tonight to catch more attention XD Thanks again - feel free to give me advice and ideas - I need the advice XD Thanks for the review! *hands cookie*