Date: 10/25/09 07:55 am Title: 1/1
First, the photoedits on your Bio are hilarious!!! hahaha
Now on to the review:
>>Just a few weeks ago Tom had said in an interview that he was looking for love. Was Tom really growing up? Would he stop sleeping with every girl he liked and stop unknowingly breaking Bill's heart?
"My teens are gone. It's time to grow up," he said quietly to himself. If Tom had really changed his mind, then he finally could tell him what he had held inside for so long.
^I really think there should have been another few sentences in there, more thought-process showed, so that it doesnt seem Bill made this huge decision on a coin toss. It may have been fast, but I still think there should have been more narration at that point in the story.
>>"I'm your fucking brother!" Tom cried.
^Personally, I dont think twins as close as they are would be THAT outraged if one kissed the other.
>>Bill felt like he was going to hurl.
^I love that line. Perhaps just cuz I think 'hurl' was an awesome word to use. lol.
>>He sobbed quietly and called himself all the stupid names he could think of.
^Also love that line. lol.
>>Tom sighed. "If I told you flat out that I loved you, you'd freak out," his cheeks went red. "Don't freak out."
^Awwwwwwww. Very cute.
>>"Are um.. you going to fuck me or uh.. the other way around...?" he asked nervously.
"How do you want it?"
"I want you to er.. do it.. to me," he blushed.
^HOTTT! XD
Ok, so the sex scene felt rushed for some reason. And poor Bill's bottom got no prep work? Ouch. lol.
I wish you would have drawn out the whole story a bit more actually, got deeper into their feelings. Because I really love the idea that they reveal this huge secret on their birthday, its super cute.
And the ending: Awww. I'm hoping thats what Bill means in real life: that he's looking for his true love (which he always says theres a really small chance of actually finding) and he's actually talking about Tom. :D
Date: 10/18/09 06:53 pm Title: 1/1
so cute !!!!!! i love please continue!!!!!!! XD
Date: 10/18/09 06:50 pm Title: 1/1
:/ Very ooc and cliche. I cringed the whole way through, sorry.
But at least there wasnt any spelling errors.
Would Tom really have let Bill fuck him if that was what Bill had wanted? And what made Bill think he could just kiss Tom and get away with it? Unrealistic.
However, i really loved the last couple lines. Very cute.
Date: 10/18/09 06:10 pm Title: 1/1
Pfft, Tom should have been the one begging for Bill to do him. You know it would have been so much more interesting. XD Love you Logy
Date: 10/18/09 05:28 pm Title: 1/1
That was really good. A little..obvious maybe. But sometimes thats why I read twincest because I know the outcome. And I usually like that outcome. So, yeah...it was good! =)
Date: 10/18/09 04:49 pm Title: 1/1
It was good, great birthday present.