Date: 03/03/12 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow......i should really say more, but i'm speechless. it's amazing. God, Bill looked like such a slut when he did his hair and makeup like that...i miss it xD looooooove slut!Bill and this floor!Bill...definitely a new fan. stupid 'John', why'd he have to have such a great conscience?
Date: 12/15/10 01:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ohhhhh, floor!Bill. Ohhhhh, false eyelashes!Bill. Ohhhhh, dreads!Bill. I'll be in my bunk. This was ridiculously hot, but at the same time you really helped the reader feel bill's emotions the whole way through. The ending is so sad, but it all fits together perfectly!
Author's Response: lool this really made me smile. Thank you so much :)
Date: 09/14/10 05:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
Holy crap, you are amazing, I love your writing SO much.
Where should I start? I am fairly new to the whole THF and I have been
reading as much as possible over past month. Needless to say, I do not have that much behind my belt yet to be able to make any objective analytical comparisons but I can easily say that your writing stands easily out from all the rest I have encountered so far. I have my favorite authors already and I love you guys all for very different reasons.
When it comes to you, all I can say is that your writing style differs because you write by "not writing". You simply by magic of your pen act as an intermediator (is that even a word?)between a story/it's actors and the readers. The way you write puts the reader almost in a position of a voyeristic observer who is in the same room with the characters, breathing the same air, smelling the same scents, feeling the same tension. When I read the stuff you write I feel almost uncomfortable to be that close to the action of the story. Or even better I feel like being the character himself which is really odd because that never happened to me before.
I have used once before word INTELLIGENT when describing your style of writing (when commenting on "Tied"). I later realized that this word could have been easily misinterpreted by others as if all the rest over in THF is simple, stupid or non-intelligent. What I meant by that word is your masterful take on reality and realness of the story you are trying to present to us and the quality of these attributes as I see them. You know, so many times when reading slash, though I enjoy it so much I am very much aware of the fact that it is a story I am reading as created by someone else. You make your stories so real it is almost unreal, lol. Your stories are utterly convincing, worked and thought through, they have logic and reason and most of all the psychological portrayal of the actors do not lack depth.
Both Tied and Security run so smoothly. Bill is portrayed with such love, tenderness and sensitivity it almost breaks one's heart. You make him human, not just a needy whore ready to fuck. I was really amazed how much I could relate.
I really adored the way you make Bill calculate in his head what move to make next "to break John". Clever writing once again!
Bill all naked "dressed" only in stockings....where did you get that idea from? Brilliant. It got totally stuck in my head. Can't get it out of my head now!
I am a person who tend to nitpick a lot. I just notice little details and you mentioning Bill's 800euro boots made me lol because we have euros in Europe. Now, I do not know if you are American or not, but so many American authors write Europe as America (we do not have porches in front of houses, we do not have door knobs, our windows do not slide up and probably the funniest thing is "water in the shower running till it gets cold"....not happening ever in Germany). Of course, Bill could have bought his boots in LA or elsewhere but such tiny little details make the story extra sweet and realistic.
John's heterosexuality and his handling the sexual act with Bill accordingly was such a great detail (clapping my hands).
I loved when you mentioned Bill's smallness, vulnerability under bigger John. Also Bill's inner conflict with the whole thing made your story so much more multi-layered, interesting and thought-provoking.
Last but not least, the smut as you write it is ehmmm.... well REALLY GOOD. It is alive, not repetitive and full of small surprises that makes it all extra special.
I am apprehensive to start reading your chapter fics because now when I know you are that great I could not possibly hang in there in the middle of the fabulous story waiting for next chapter to come. I think I will wait till they are done.
Fabulous work!
Author's Response: Goodness. I just don't even know where to begin. To start with, I guess I'll just say that it's super flattering be told my writing is "intelligent." As I mentioned in an earlier response, I write almost solely explicit smut, but my favorite thing about it is not really the sex itself, but what the sex says about the characters. Because of this, i think i usually spend quite a bit of time in the minds of the characters, and that you find them multifaceted and believable is just so great to hear.
It made me laugh to read that you feel 'uncomfortably close' to the action, because in addition to being such a wonderful compliment, it is completely how i feel while writing the fic. I see what's happening so clearly in my mind that during some particularly obscene parts I can't help but blush lol. It always seems real to me while writing it, so it's such a great feeling to be told that that realism comes through to the reader as well.
About the quality of my smut lol, thank you :). It means a lot to hear that you don't find it repetitive, bc this is absolutely something i worry about. And yes, I am american, so I do try to make an effort to convert things over to european norms haha. It doesn't always go well lol, but that you thought i did an ok job in this fic was really sweet to hear. I also really loved that you appreciated the emphasis i put on John's heterosexuality, bc that was one of my main motivations for writing this fic. I've always really gotten off on the idea of Bill being able to turn anyone gay, so John's 'straightness' was one of the most important aspects of his character, in my mind.
Finally (although I think i could go on and on), one of the most validating things for me is being told that the reader can relate to my characters. Especially in fics like these, in which the character whose POV the story is being told from is not exactly normal. This Bill has some serious flaws (e.g. not giving a shit that John is married) and psychological issues (e.g. only wanting what he can't have), so that you found yourself not only identifying with him, but almost pitying him, just feels like the highest praise to me.
As i mentioned before, I can't tell you how much i appreciate the time you put into writing these reviews. Readers like you are 100% the reason why I post my fics online (i am somewhat of an introvert and my natural inclination is to keep my perversions hidden on my hard drive lol). Thank you so, so much and sorry again for taking ages to respond!
Date: 06/22/10 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow. Just.. wow. I can't express just how much I loved this story. I can relate entirely too well to your characterization of Bill here, and I'll be damned if the end of this didn't move me to tears because, yeah, I've been there. I haven't been writing reviews lately, though I'm not sure why exactly, but this one moved me so much that I just had to at least attempt a coherent review.
My mind is spinning, at the moment, so no promises that this will make any sense but I'll do my best. First, the epic smut aspect of this was AMAZING, in no small part because it wasn't just smut; honestly, subtext and storyline tends to get me off so much more than pure PWP smut so... yeah. Great job. I could see all of this unfolding in my mind as I read and just... damn. I loved it.
As I mentioned, I found myself connecting so much to Bill, here. The desperation beneath the heated seduction... The external confidence that conceals an internal need and pain that would cripple lesser men... Did I mention that I loved this? You did such an amazing job with this story. I can't stress enough that I'm absolutely in love with this.
Lastly, the pivotal part of this story, for me, was the end. Bill's emotions, kept so carefully in check in front of John, finally let go with Tom, and oh gods... perfect. I love the image of Tom as Bill's keeper, there to pick up the pieces when all is said and done.
The twin dynamic is something I so often see poorly written, and it bugs me, because I honestly think people forget, sometimes, what it means to be a brother. But, you write their dynamic so well. I can see Tom protecting Bill, and honestly, I could even see this situation reversed. They look out for each other.
I love to read twincest, sometimes, despite that I should very much object to it (long story) but it irritates me when authors seem to forget the brotherly love that must thrive at the heart of their relationship, even when a romantic relationship comes into play... Granted, this isn't a twincest fic, but all the same, the dynamic between the twins plays a pivotal role, and you did such a great job with it... and I'm rambling.
In short, I think you did an amazing job with the ending, and with the twins. I would have loved to see a bit of conversation between them, but at the same time, I feel that, sometimes, silence speaks so much more than words. Silent support and love says volumes worth of spoken word, if that makes sense.
While this is an amazing stand alone (did I mention how very much I love it?) there's a part of me that would love to see a sequel, or even to see this kick start a whole series, to better understand how Bill came to this desperate, dark place, and to see where he goes from here.
Again, wonderful job. Much love, for an incredible story, and a truly talented author. Bravo. :)
-MT
Author's Response: First of all, I need to give you A HUUUGE apology for not responding earlier. It's just incredibly hard for me to come up with some sort of acceptable response after sitting here, grinning like a lunatic. I'll try my best. Out of everything I've posted on THF, this is the fic that I have the most doubts about. Like most my stuff, it's incredibly smutty (just the way my mind works lol), but i didn't see it as a fic just about sex. I can't tell you how wonderful it made me feel that you didn't see it that way either. I get off on emotional issues more so than porn as well (that part of your review made me giggle, bc that is sooo me), and to me, sex is one of the best ways to break down a character's barriers. That you connected with Bill is also a huge compliment, bc he is reallly hard for me to write. He fascinates the fuck out of me, and in RL, I can't figure out if he's a manipulative egomaniac or a fragile, self-conscious little boy who's desperate for approval and validation. I think he's a combination of both, along with about a million other things, but the one thing I'm sure of is that he is hyper aware of the way he comes across at all times. This is what I sort of tried to get across in the fic, and that his character didn't end up this mess of emotions and you were able to identify with him really makes me feel so good. Onto the twin thing. This was perhaps my favorite part of your review (which is really an impossible distinction to make because the whole thing is like the best birthday present ever), because as an identical twin, it always fascinates me how many parallels I find between the boys' relationship and my own with my sister. Most of the stuff that other people find twincesty, i find completely normal (believe me, it took a looooong time for me to accept twc, and even longer for me to begin to read it). I love that you connected with how I wrote the twins' relationship, and that you feel the same way I do about their dynamic needing to be based on brotherly love. Uggghhh I could ramble on and on in response to your review. Ok, in short, it's unlikely that I'll write more on this fic. Not because I don't want to, or bc I don't think there is anything else to say, but I'm sort of in a different mindset these days and would find it hard to get back into Bill's character's head. It's not impossible, but I'm not planning on it happening. Truly, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to write me such an amazing review. I have no excuse for taking an entire month to respond to you, because it makes it seem like I didn't care about your feedback (or haven't read the thing an embarrassing number of times), and nothing is further from the truth. Also, sorry for this mess of a response. Hopefully it's somewhat legible.
Date: 06/07/10 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
oh god, it was so hot! great story:)
Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you enjoy :)
Date: 04/06/10 04:14 am Title: Chapter 1
Super hot smut with a broken heart.
This all seemed very real and believable to me.
Sex without any emotional attachment can be devastating. Sounds like Bill has reached that point.
Very nicely written! :]
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Date: 02/20/10 03:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
OMG.. I love it!!
Author's Response: Thank you :)
Date: 11/23/09 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
I loved this!!!!! :D
xx Chi ^^
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: 11/13/09 11:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
Very very nice! Everything I wanted to say has pretty much been said, but I have to mention how impressed I was with your characterization of Bill-- we have no way of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, but I feel like this is one of the most spot-on characterizations I've ever read. It's like my canon!Bill xD
Also, would it be at all possible for you to post the conversation Bill had with Tom at the end as like... and outtake? I'm really curious :) Thank you for a great read!
Author's Response: Sorry for the super late response! About this being your canon!Bill (lol), it's pretty close to mine as well. I rarely write him like this, but I think that this side of his personality definitely exists, and although it's not as 'pleasant' as some of the other ways he presents himself, I do think it's a big part of him. It means a lot that you thought the characterization rang true to you. And about the B/T conversation, I still have it, but I can't really post it as I changed the ending of this fic to get across what I wanted in a shorter amount of space. The conversation was actually really about nothing, TBH, just the two of them talking as my twin and I would talk after one of us was upset. It's not really 'consolation' in the traditional sense, and it's not nearly as dramatic as the ending that was written in, but it has more of the twin-dynamic that is the primary source of my fascination with B&T. So yeah, I can't post it, but if you're still curious and would like to read it, I can email it to you if you'd like. Just let me know, and thank you very much for your review - it made me feel wonderful!
Date: 10/22/09 02:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh my god. That was so hot! Damn *_* I loved everything about it and I agree; more floor!Bill.
Author's Response: Thank you :)
Date: 10/14/09 03:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
Okay, so I read this the other day but I was just really blown away by it and I didn't have the time to leave a proper review.
This fic hurt my heart and was extremely hot at the same time. I thought it was so interesting the way you wrote Bill here--constantly self-aware, but also really controlling of the way he allows himself to be seen.
I loved Bill's kind of internal monologue about John--the sports socks, the lack of finesse with gay sex, his seeming resistance to Bill's charms. All of that contrasted with the fact that Bill wanted what he wanted despite John's shortfalls and would stop at nothing to get it. There's really nothing hotter than Bill in seduction-mode, and you wrote it so well. I loved how complex this was, and how you let us into Bill's head to see the insecurity under the ego-maniac, and finally the emptiness after he got what he thought he wanted.
Tom comforting him at the end was the perfect touch. I really adored this fic.
Author's Response: Oh my gosh - I am so sorry for the super late reply! Your review just meant so much to me that I wanted to wait to respond until I had the time to actually say something worthwhile. First of all, it just makes me feel so good that you found Bill's character intriguing. For some reason, it's always been hard for me to write from his POV, and I actually started writing this from the bodyguard's perspective. But then I realized that the story wasn't really about the bodyguard, but about Bill, so I basically forced myself to write from his viewpoint. That was what really changed the tone of the story, b/c even though Bill was doing the same things that I had originally planned on him doing, being inside his head completely changed the way I felt about what was happening. The fic was supposed to be pure smut - I love nothing more than a shamelessly seductive Bill (and it means so much that you thought I wrote him well) - but Bill's character just sort of took over. Secondly, I'm so glad you liked Bill's internal reasoning, because I wasn't sure if I should include some of the more amusing observations. I was already trying to mix graphic smut with Bill's emotional issues, and I was worried that I was giving the reader too many different feelings and everything would get lost. Finally, I really love that you mentioned Bill's self-awareness, because that was a huge thing that I was trying to get across. Bill in RL is the most incredibly composed and self-controlled person I have ever come across - he knows exactly how he looks in every picture he takes (perfect), and his answers to interview questions are always 'right.' No one can tease the camera like he does without it being intentional, and I love that he knows exactly what every arch of his eyebrow or lick of his lips does to people. He's beautiful and he knows it, and even better, he plays with it, but he still manages to come across innocently sweet. You want to fuck this boy and protect him from the world at the same, and the paradox of it is what, IMO, drives the obsessive mania about him. It's what I really tried to get across in the fic, and your review really made me feel like I succeeded. So thank you so much :)
Date: 10/14/09 12:16 am Title: Chapter 1
Thank you for this. Oh God, thank you. *loves Clarebear loads* That was fucking phenomenal. Damn. I have never seen Bill described so erotically. I think I came before John. ;)
Author's Response: Lool, I already responded to your email, but thank you again :) I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
Date: 10/13/09 08:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
Amazing!!!! You have such a way with words.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)
Date: 10/13/09 06:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, you honestly surprised me, but like you said;: this is what happened. I love it tough. Smut was good, no complains, but for me the REAL fiction started when Bill came. I didn't expect things to turn out like this, but I'm happy they did. Nice choise. I am now wondering why Bill is doing this to himself. Very sweet and sad scene overall. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I expected people to be sort of taken off guard by Bill's sudden emotional collapse, and I'm really glad you weren't put off by it - it's the only way I could feel the fic ending. So happy you liked it :)
Date: 10/13/09 04:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Awesome. XD Very hot. Very very very hot. :)
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: 10/13/09 03:26 pm Title: Chapter 1
Woah..
That... was well written lol
Author's Response: Thanks :)
Date: 10/13/09 03:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
I think this was awsome, fantastic, great, wonderful...you get my point. You wrote the whole story very well and I was glued to the screen, wanting more. *.*
Keep on the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much - i'm really glad you liked it!
Date: 10/13/09 01:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
i don't have time to read the story now,but according to him,his name is Mike and he is Russian ^^
Author's Response: What!? A name and a nationality? This is incredible! Thanks for filling me in :)
Date: 10/13/09 12:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
But... b-but... ç____ç It's SAD!!! It almost made me cry at the end! Why?? I mean, Bill was so confident, and he was getting fucked just like he wanted (and I was getting so hot that I had to fan myself at some point, btw) and then... he's regretting it so much? Why? T.T
I so loved Tom coming to comfort him at the end, anyway. I always like those kind of fics where Tom has an 'important' role even if he doesn't show up for most of the story. All it takes are a few sentences and he comes out to be a great character.
I also liked the way you characterized John (maybe because I have to admit that I didn't do it much in my Bodyguard!Fic X'D). I was marveled at how he wouldn't fall for Bill, not even when the boy was splayed out on the floor (I was basically drooling right then *ç* I think that was the best part!), and then Bill only has to say that he needs him inside and John is up for it =P
This was great, girl! Totally unexpected the way it ended, and even better because of this =)
The only thing I didn’t like much: Bill with his stockings still on =/ I dunno, it didn’t do it for me XD
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Fedy, it's taken forever for me to respond to you. OK, here's my update regarding your Flershido - I STILL haven't purchased Office for my computer yet, but I'm in the library right now so I'm going to start working on it now on one of their computers. I'm soo excited :) Regarding your review, thank you so much - I smiled the whole time I read it. I was expecting the end of the fic to throw quite a few people off, but it was the only way I could see things panning out. It was really meant to be just pure shameless smut, but Bill developed a conscious & emotional issues and I couldn't ignore them. I'm glad you liked Tom coming in to save the day at the end (lol), and I actually chopped off a several thousand word conversation with he and Bill b/c the fic was already WAY too long. I loove their twin dynamic and had to include it somehow. And lool regarding the socks not doing it for you - I'm not sure why I decided to leave them on him, b/c I am of the strong opinion that naked boys + socks is typically appalling. But then again, Bill isn't really human and the boy could rock a trash bag, so I think you judge he and his socks too harshly lol :) OK, I'm going to start working on your fic and my goal is to get it to you by the end of the weekend. No promises, of course (you know me and predicting when I'll be done with things lol), but I'll do my best :) xoxox
Date: 10/13/09 08:51 am Title: Chapter 1
I like the ending..its diffrent:)
Author's Response: Thank you :)