Date: 12/02/09 04:37 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
WoW. This is deep. I'm going throught the same thing.. Only its not my friends, its my family. I've tried to explain, but they're just to pig-headed to listen and understand...
I'll be honest with you, I've tried to kill myself three times. The first was because I didn't want to hurt a superior, the second was a semi- accident. The thierd time got me sent to a behavioral health clinic for a week. I'm not a self mutilator, I push, pop, shallow, whatever you perfer it to be called. It's amazing how on Greman rock band can help so many lonely, depressed people.... My was so bad that I had a period where I blacked out, called my dads amswering machine and cussed him out for abandoning me. During my Black out period, I too, wrote a suicide note as journal entry.
The next morning, I woke up hoping I was dead, but I wasn't. Reality flashed back to me and hit me like a Mac Truck.
I still wanted to die. But instead of (again) trying to use the anti-depressants I was already on, I turned on my computer and listened to Tokio Hotel. Don't Jump. I pictured that I was on the roof in the music video and he was rushing to save me. I felt that at least someone cared.
Then I cranked it up and listened to Scream. I idn't care that it was 530 in the morning. After Bill helped me scream out all my anger, I once again listened to Don't Jump.
The doctors have switched my meds three times and now I see two therapists..
I guess I just want to thank you, for posting this, I wish I could meet you, so we could be ther for eachother. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.
Author's Response: wow.... i don't even know how to react to this =0 i really hope that ur on ur way to becoming better though. i wrote this fic two years ago, at which point i was at my lowest. i'm glad to say however that ALOT of therapy sessions i've gotten alot better ^^ dare i say almost perfect? all i have to say to u is that u shouldn't give up! it really does help!
Date: 09/26/09 01:15 am Title: Actions and Reactions
It's very good. I can relate, too, especially to the Spring Nicht part. That song is really amazing. I'm glad you're getting help, keep up the good work.
Author's Response: awww! thnx!! i'm really glad u liked it! i'm not sure weather i should be glad that u could relate though.. =S and seeing as i posted this fic about a year back, i'm glad to be able to give u the update and tell u that i'm doing really great atm! =D
Date: 12/21/08 01:00 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
That was really good, you brilliantly explained all the emotions clearly. It really got to me. Absolutely amazing work.
Author's Response: *blush* thank you! i'm really glad you liked this and i'm glad you liked my work. if this got to you, i hope it also made you think of your relationships to your friends and family, so that you can be sure everything is ok for all of you and that no one is experiencing too much pressure. thanks SO much for reviewing!! it means allot to me *hugs*
Date: 09/13/08 03:08 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
i'm glad to hear that.. love xx
Author's Response: (A)
Date: 09/13/08 02:53 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
poor thing.. i hope everything will get better for you!!! i really do!!
Author's Response: thnx ^_^ and things ARE starting to look up and i'm doing my best to get through this (A) thnx for ur reaview!! *hugs really tight*
Date: 09/02/08 10:57 am Title: Actions and Reactions
Wow, I really loved this story it's something I can really relate to.
Author's Response: i'm really glad u liked it, even though i'd feel guilty for being happy u can relate to it... :$ thnx SO much for reviewing!! *hugs tight*
Date: 07/06/08 12:14 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
Absolutely amazing, you can really feel his emotion in it. I almost cried... it was that emotive :) You're a great writer
Author's Response: thnx =) i'm really glad u liked it (A) but this was a pretty easy fic to write, since i just had to write what i felt and put in different names... but i'm REALLY glad it made you feel somehting, that was the point (A) thnx for reviewing! *hugs*
Date: 05/01/08 01:57 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
It was a beautiful story! I hope it will all get better in time for you! *hugs*
Take care hun!
Author's Response: aww ^_^ thnx so much! and i'm already making progress, so i hope to get this over with by next yr =) thnx so much for reviewing! *hugs back*
Date: 03/28/08 05:30 am Title: Actions and Reactions
Awww... You made me cry... Your writing is absolutely GORGEOUS! *huge hugs*
Author's Response: *whipes away ur tears* thnx hun! =0 *hugs back*
Date: 03/24/08 02:31 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
Ah! This was sooo beautiful!!! so true! I LOVE THIS STORY!
Author's Response: thnx (A) i'm really glad u liked it! =D thnx for reviewing hun *hugs*
Date: 03/04/08 03:46 am Title: Actions and Reactions
very nice. I loved it! *wibbles*
Author's Response: thnx =) really glad u liked it ^_^
Date: 02/19/08 09:19 am Title: Actions and Reactions
omg that was amazing!! you're a brilliant writer, and that's such a meaningful thing to write about, you did a great job =DD i swear i'm totally crying right now T_T
Author's Response: omg! =0 thnx hun *hugs* i didn't mean to make u cry! =0 *whipes away tears*
Date: 01/28/08 04:27 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
That was incredible! I understand what you meant about what you psychologist said. It reminds me of a saying: The only reason anyone will ever ask you "How are you?" is so they can respond to the same question. I fear I have the opposite problem, I don't care enough. Either way, I'm sure we both enjoy sobbing along to Girl, Interupted. Am I right?
Author's Response: thnx =D i'm glad u found it incredible =0 and i've actually heard that saying... and no one ever expects the other person to say anything but "fine"... even if they feel they can tell the other about all their own shit... and i sobb along to nearly everything, so yeah XP ur right ;P thank u SO mutch for reviewing!
Date: 01/26/08 11:16 am Title: Actions and Reactions
I really like this fic.
Spring Nicht is a special song for me too. :)
It's very meaningful and I loved it.
*gives cookie*
Author's Response: wow =0 thnx =D *takes cookie* it's my fave song and i always listen to it when i'm feeling really down again =) thnx again and hope u'll continue reading my fics (A) *brushes away cookie crums* and thnx for the cookie XP
Date: 01/23/08 10:45 am Title: Actions and Reactions
Strong writing, and powerfull meanings. Great story!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: thnx =D heard that a little bird ad whispered in ur ear that u should read this =P dumb bird wouldn't tell me who u were though =( but thnx SO mutch hun *hugs*
Date: 01/20/08 11:54 am Title: Actions and Reactions
It's very good and so sad :/
i agree with "cloverr" about the sequel :]
And i hope you will put more storys^^
x3
Author's Response: thnx hun *hugs* but i realy don't think i could write a sequel to this one... i wrote it to warn ppl of what could happen if u put to much weight on ur friends and if u don't speak up if it's happening to u... sry, but i can't alter this =S
Date: 01/20/08 04:23 am Title: Actions and Reactions
perfect story :P
i will be wait your new stories...
Author's Response: thnx for thinking it was perfect =) i never thought anyone could think that =0 not about one of my fics atleast...
Date: 01/15/08 01:27 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
Oh, this was really good, but so sad ! T_T But it was so good written !! I really hope u will put up more stories here ;) Because I know you're an amazing author!
Author's Response: thnx so much for ur review! and i will try to put up some more fics ;P thnx for thinking i'm an amazing author! (A)
Date: 01/13/08 01:30 am Title: Actions and Reactions
wow. if thats like.. your personal story, that must have been really hard for you to write, but at the same time relieving? because your letting it out? (:
as soon as i read the line
Anyone who wishes to know why, may read my diary and find out.
i was like... oh fuck.
-hugs billa-
-hugs you-
it was goooooooood :D
you should do a sequel where Tomu or someone saves him?
like whatever stopped you, and helped you?
Author's Response: it really was revieling =) i wrote it one time when i felt so fucking down i couldn't even get myself to go to school, so i wrote it while blasting "Spring Nicht" on my iPod to keep myself away from the sleeping pills... but about that sequel... i don't know if it can be done, but we'll see ;P
Date: 01/11/08 02:11 pm Title: Actions and Reactions
Woah, i was goin to write a story based on the chaos theory too ^^
Author's Response: hehe =Prnrnthis one wasn't really based on the chaos theory, but me, so...rnrnjust go ahead and write it =Drni'd read it ;Prnrnthnx SO much for ur review *hugs and kisses*