Ok, so the story was great, and your narration is unique and well developed. Like, this is actual good writing IMO. Only, there are SO MANY grammar mistakes. It really sounds like english is not your first language. It's ok though, because the base of your writing, and the way everything is laid out is really good though. You definitely know how to write, you're probably very good in your native tongue. So in this case a beta-reader would really help to smooth everything over and make it sound as good as it is. Edit for grammar and word choice. (ex. Describing Tom's cock as an "organ" is not attractive.)
If u'd ever like a beta, let me know.
Back to the story- very interesting, nicely laid out. Really sexy sex too. I like the connection they have. From the beginning where Bill was hiding away to when they find eachother n then when they have eachother's full attention. I do wish there had been another paragraph towards the begining of the 2nd chapter before the sex, where you tell more about their "5 days", just to ease into Bill's new state of mind a bit more.
Yeah, I don't know what else to say. Well done. :)

Author's Response: Wow! This must be the longest review I've ever gotten... Thank you! I'm really impressed!

So, I need to say thanks for all those beautiful words. I must say, yes, English is not my first language and since this story was written like, woah, 2-3 years ago, it was even worse then, than it is now. I just opened the story and found grammar mistakes in the first sentence *headdesks*. I used to be so terrible! :D (Not that I'm much better now, but a bit I guess!).

I do love writing, and I've always thought I'm actually pretty good. In my native language... well, I'm not the best, because I seriously like English a lot more, so I read/write more in English than in my own language. :)

Lately I haven't been writing much because of this damn BTK App, that takes so much of my time, haha, I used to write in the evenings, now I refresh the app instead. But actually just today I had an idea to a Tom/Bill oneshot I will hopefully also finish. If I can't find anyone to beta, I'll let you know! :)

And once again I need to tell you THANK YOU! I was on vacation when I got this review on my mobile and it really made me smile. I haven't been writing much lately, so getting such a beautiful review to an old story felt refreshing and really nice! <3

I loved this :D
xx Chi ^^

I really enjoyed it
this was good

Love where this story is going yo! Don't like Tom's new look... Makes him look older in an ugly way.

This is rlly good, i like it :)

I like it, I just don't like all the 'person' form you're doing it in. No offense but it would be so much better if you actually took all the 'I's' out. But it's a good plot, I like it.:).

Author's Response: Okay. I don't really get what you mean. Have I written too many 'I's' there? But I'm writing the story on this 'person' form, because that's the easiest way for me to describe the feelings. I'm not the best writer and English isn't my first language. But thank you anyway. I try to avoid so many 'I's' the next time then. :)

I always knew he would take the chance when it matters!;-)

Author's Response: Haha, yeah, he would! :D And thanks for the second review. xD