Date: 08/28/14 03:48 pm Title: Chapter 1
That's why fans aren't aloud near celebrities without the celebrity near their security. In reality, those girls would have been band from the hotel while the guys were staying there. Anyways, this was a good story, however there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes but other than that, I enjoyed this.
Date: 09/12/12 07:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
not bad but you shouldn't have mixed 3rd person POV and 1st person POV, that kinda screwed up a bit, but not bad at all, funny :3
Date: 03/27/10 09:32 am Title: Chapter 1
pants!!! haha i would like to see that
Date: 10/03/09 06:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
XD Crazy Fangirls ROFLMAO! I'm with Bill, why the pants?? =P Lmao!
Loved this it was so bizzare!
Kitten.
Date: 08/27/09 01:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
...While he signed, she grabbed his pants and tugged, his pants slipping... - yeah, crazy fan girl *tsk tsk*
...Nothing should ever happen to him, he was way to perfect to be hurt in any way... - aaaawwww, so sweet of Tom. but he must have been worried sick =(
...Harder to get Billa, it's all about the challenge... - they're idiots! yeah i would so0o0o0 love to get my hands on thier pants, but not THAT way hehehe...poor GGs
Date: 08/17/09 11:07 am Title: Chapter 1
cute...a scavenger hunt...must of been fun...
Date: 08/16/09 05:20 am Title: Chapter 1
Those really were some crazy fans! This was cute, but it was a little difficult to read - I'd advise a beta reader to help with some of the spelling errors and grammar mistakes. There were also a few words being used in the wrong context; all of this a beta would pick up. I think you actually used the final line more effectively than a few stories - you did set up the tiredness and the situation had relaxed - but your fic was in a different tense to the sentence, so it was odd, and the way you flipped back and forth between first and third person was a little weird. It was really cute and promising, but a beta will help a lot!
Date: 08/14/09 10:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
I enjoyed the plot, but there are some very bad grammatical mistakes in here. You change verb tenses and point of view repeatedly, and it is a little distracting from the actual storyline.
Date: 08/14/09 08:32 pm Title: Chapter 1
It was really good except for the sudden change in point of view in the beginning, and the twins relationship popped out of no-where also.:).