Date: 08/13/09 04:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
lol that was seriously like unbelievbly funny! i got a cramp from laughing so hard. Tom humping anything and everything in sight was a very clever way to get him and Bill together.
Date: 08/13/09 01:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
lmao that was hilarious
and sad...ouch o.O
but really cute :]
Date: 08/13/09 01:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
I absolutely loved it!! Fabulous, in fact! I couldn't stop laughing! My sides are still hurting. I loved it! Loved it! Loved it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!! ^&^
Date: 08/13/09 10:02 am Title: Chapter 1
hahaha~~
so damn funny!!
love it, dude!
good job! XD
Date: 08/13/09 07:54 am Title: Chapter 1
You had a really entertaining idea here, and you pace the story really well. For the most part, it's well written but you do have some grammatical errors and inappropriately used words that a beta could help you out with. So please find one - when it came to ideas and everything, this story is definitely one of the better ones of the first nine, and the errors that exist are generally pretty small.
Having said that - For me, it was doing really well, those errors aside, right up to the last line. There, though, I don't think it fit in the way that you put it in - perhaps if Georg and Gustav had come in and Bill had turned to them, but not Gustav to Georg. My main objection is that you have actually changed the final line, even if it's in a small way - no one else has done anything beyond incorporating it into a sentence rather than having it stand alone. I do think changing the initial pronoun and eliminating the pluralisation of 'band mate' is unfair.
So basically well done on a really good story that just needs to be shined up by a beta reader, but even if the mods have let it pass - I don't think tweaking the final line is really in the spirit of the challenge.
Date: 08/13/09 06:48 am Title: Chapter 1
Haha. Loved that(: awesome!
Date: 08/13/09 02:52 am Title: Chapter 1
I thought it was very funny. XD It was a difficult prompt and you did well. Congrats!
Date: 08/12/09 11:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
LMFAOOOOOO omg XD i can't even tell you how much this made me laugh bahahaha. its really funny too because i have an icon in my bio that says "never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics" omg so great XD
Date: 08/12/09 10:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FIC EVER!!! I'm serious, I've never read a fic that's as funny as this. I have to say, I don't really see exactly why Gustav and Georg said that, but I love how you used those lines. I love the plot you built around it. It's amazing.
Date: 08/12/09 09:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
You may want to consider getting yourself a beta reader. The concept was good, but I noticed some things that should have been changed. You don't seem to like to use commas, but they help to avoid fractional sentences. It would flow smoother if you used them properly. Also, wrong forms of words, like "their" and "they're" is something to watch for. Using the correc forms helps the story to make more sence. But on the whole, I liked it.
Date: 08/12/09 08:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
very well done...i enjoyed thoroughly...i lol'd a couple times...got a couple of strange looks from family members...
Date: 08/12/09 08:10 pm Title: Chapter 1
a vacuum Tom... A VACUUM?!
Date: 08/12/09 07:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
That was just ridiculous, but great! I nearly exploded with laughter when I found out just what Tom was doing in the beginning. Great job.:).!. BAHAHA, That poor, little innocent, teddy bear!
Date: 08/12/09 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hmmm. :) That could have been funnier, but it was still funny. XD
Date: 08/12/09 06:50 pm Title: Chapter 1
lol, that was too great n_n
"Tom, you're a fucked up inanimate-nymphomaniac, and I think you need counseling."
I think that was my favorite line. It was just the big words, coupled around counseling and the f-word, it was just too great :D hehehe, I think also because I could see great expressions on both the boys' faces. lovely, I laughed the whole way through, and am in a much better mood :D thanks, hun
Date: 08/12/09 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
LOLOL. OMG, I laughed so hard! This story is genius! The only thing about it, though, is that I don't think the last line really fits the rest of it. In a way it does, but in another... Not so much. But this was hilarious.
Date: 08/12/09 06:20 pm Title: Chapter 1
I seriously TRIED to stay face blank and all serious when Dave told Bill what happened but dammit, I could not do it! x'D I just couldn't! Oh gosh...*laughter*
Date: 08/12/09 06:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Lmfao that was osm!
Date: 08/12/09 06:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
HAHA XD
the story was amazing!
So embarrasing and hilarious :D
Great job!
Date: 08/12/09 05:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
That's brilliant and awfully embarassing. XD This has happened to many guys? Good lord. O.O
Well done! *claps*